:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: THE BITTER DARLINGS,
DOM TRIMBOLI &
THE WIZARDS and
SPIKE THE WIZARD
:: A DAY OF CLARITY
2017 (Festival) with
SCREAMFEEDER, FAIR
MAIDEN, BATTLEHOUNDS,
LAST DAYS OF KALI,
LITTLE DUST, KORAL
& THE GOODBYE
HORSES and MANE
:: SURVIVING SHARKS
and ANGELIK
:: THE SUNDAY REEDS
(Single Launch) with
THANES, THE CLANGERS
and HANNAH FAIRLAMB
:: MAGIC BONES,
HEAPS GOOD FRIENDS
and THE HOWLING FOG
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATTONBITUS :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BAD//DREEMS :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: THE CLANGERS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DOM TRIMBOLI & THE WIZARDS :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: HANNAH FAIRLAMB :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEAPS GOOD FRIENDS :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE DUST :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OLD MATE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLIE ENGLISH :: OLLY HOLMES :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONLY OBJECTS :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: ORELIA :: THE OSCILLATORS :: OSH10 :: OVERVIEW EFFECT :: OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: PAIGE RENEE COURT :: PALACE OF THE KING :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANACEA :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PARADES :: PARTY :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERFECT PUSSY :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: PETER COMBE :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: PONYTAIL KINK :: THE POP-UPS :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: PORCHLIGHT PARADE :: POST DEATH POST :: THE PRESETS :: PRESTON'S HISTORIC PUNCH & JUDY SHOW :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: PROBLEMS :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PRO-TOOLS :: THE PROPHETS OF IMPENDING DOOM :: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN CRUMPETS :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PURITY RING :: PUT DOWNS :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: RACHEL CEARNS :: RACHEL CEARNS & THE VALKYRIES :: RADIANT CITY :: RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! :: RADIO STAR :: RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE :: THE RAGING POPULATION :: RAINDROP :: RAPID TRANSPORT :: THE RAPTURE :: RAT TA'MANGO :: RAUCOUSTRA :: RAURY :: THE RAVEONETTES :: THE READYMADES :: REALIST FEW :: REALM :: RED APPARITION :: RED COATS :: RED DESERT OCEAN :: THE RED EARTH BLUES BAND :: RED INK :: THE RED PAINTINGS :: RED SEA :: THE RED SUN BAND :: REGULAR JOHN :: REGURGITATOR :: RELYING ON LUCK :: REJUSA :: THE REMEMBERZ :: RENDEZVOUS WITH RAMA :: THE REPROBETTES :: REPTILES :: RICH DAVIES & AYLEEN O'HANLON :: RICHARD IN YOUR MIND :: RICOCHET PETE :: RIDE INTO THE SUN :: RIN MCARDLE :: RIN & THE RECKLESS :: RINCON :: RINGO STALIN :: RIOT RUNNERS :: RISEMANN :: RITES WILD :: RIVER OF SNAKES :: ROBOTOSAURUS :: ROCKET SCIENCE :: THE ROCKETEERS :: ROGER THAT :: ROGUE ROMANTIC :: THE ROLLERCANES :: RON THE OX :: THE ROOFTOPS :: ROOK :: RORY O'CONNOR :: ROSS DE CHENE HURRICANES :: ROTE MARE :: ROYAL BLOOD :: THE ROYAL GALA :: ROYAL HEADACHE :: THE RUBENS :: RULE OF THIRDS :: THE RULES :: RUN THE JEWELS :: RUNNING WITH HORSES :: RUNZELSTIRM & GURGLESTOCK :: RUSSIA :: RUSSIAN TEAMMATE :: RYAN MEEKING & THE FEW :: RYAN OLIVER :: SAILMAKER :: SAILORS AND SWINE :: SAINT HUCK :: THE SALVADORS :: SAM WOOLFORD :: SAMPA THE GREAT :: SAN CISCO :: SARAH BLASKO :: SARAH CHADWICK :: SASHA MARCH :: SASHA MARSH & THE DAWNHORSE :: SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS :: SATIN HAREM :: SAUL WILLIAMS :: SAVAGES :: SAVING SAVANAH :: THE SCARE :: THE SCARLET IVES :: SCHOOL OF RADIANT LIVING :: SCREAMFEEDER :: SCREAMING GIBBON :: THE SEA THIEVES :: SEA URCHIN & ALLIES :: SEABELLIES :: SEAMUS ANTHONY :: SEAN DESMOND :: SEAN KEMP :: SECRETS IN SCALE :: SEEKAE :: SERENDIPITY :: THE SERRA :: SEVENTEEN FIFTY SEVEN :: SEX ON TOAST :: SEX WIZARD :: SEX UNCLE :: SEXUAL DAD :: THE SHADOW LEAGUE :: SHADOWQUEEN :: THE SHAKE UP :: SHAMAN SON :: SHAME SPIRAL :: THE SHAOLIN AFRONAUTS :: SHAPES DIVIDE :: SHARK IN THE DARK :: SHE SAID YOU :: SHE'S THE BAND :: SHILOH :: THE SHINE :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS :: SHIVERS :: SHOJI HANO :: SIAMESE :: SIANNA LEE :: SIDEWALKS :: S.I.G.I.T. :: SILENT DUCK :: THE SILENTS :: SIMON & JENNY :: SIMON ABERLE :: SIN CITY :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY :: SIR GERBIL :: SISTER ROSE :: SITARA :: SKELETONS :: SKIES :: SKIPPING GIRL VINEGAR :: SKYBOMBERS :: SKYTHIEF :: SKYE HARBOUR :: SLAMAGOTCHI :: SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY :: SLEEP PARADE :: SLEEPTALKER :: THE SLEEPY JACKSON :: SLICK ARNOLD :: SLINGSHOT DRAGSTER :: THE SLOE RUIN :: SLY HATS :: SMALL AFFAIRS :: SMASHING PUMPKINS :: SMILE :: THE SMITH STREET BAND :: SNAKADAKTAL :: SNAP TO ZERO :: THE SNOWDROPPERS :: SNOWMAN :: ...SO YEAH :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE :: SOJOURN :: SOMNIUM (2016) :: SOMMNIUM (2007) :: SONATINE :: SONIC DEATH MONKEY :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SOURSOP :: SOUTH FROM SOMEWHERE :: SOUTHPOOR :: SPANK ROCK :: SPARKSPITTER :: SPARTAK :: SPECIAL PATROL :: SPEED MACHINE :: SPIKE THE RIVER :: SPILT CITIES :: SPINDICKLE :: SPINE :: THE SPIRES :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: ST. VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STONEFIELD :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: THE SUNDAY REEDS :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSETTLER :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERPHATASS :: SURES :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWEET GOLD :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA FIRMA :: THANES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: TIERSMAN :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THEE OH SEES :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: THE TITS :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: UK SPECIAL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URTEKK :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTOLIN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WALTER MARSH :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: WASTED WANDERERS :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WILD OATS :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WOE :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX :: YANKEE MACHINE :: YEASAYER :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUR LOYAL HEARTLESS :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN ::

:: Thursday, October 23, 2008

ROBOTOSAURUS + THUNDERCLAW + COERCE
LIVE @ CROWN & ANCHOR / Saturday October 18th 2008

Spoz's Rant is a tall tale often told in front of a lens: documenting, dissecting, destroying and desseminating the teeny tiny insignificant lives of the Adelaide music scene in photos and video for all the world to see. A music scene you probably wouldn't even notice in your mad rush to step right on over it (not even stopping to check your shoes in the off chance you accidently trod in it.. mmmm stinky!) if it wasn't for those chance few frames you see here each week. It is also a tall tale often told behind the lens: in words that are badly chosen, in sentences that are poorly structured, in grammar next to non existent, in a murderous mismatch of drunken superlatives and adjectives colliding on a screen that barely provide you with narrative link from one poorly chosen image to the next. Pieced together and seen as a whole (and with a few beers and / or smoking paraphenalia to cushion the impact): one could almost confuse this insane mess of quasi-philosophical ramblings and laughable non sequiturs as something almost approaching rock photojournalism, perhaps even "gonzo" journalism, in years hence these insane works of "fiction" may even become a documented history of "fact". But what is often overlooked are the tales from the lens itself. These silent servants, these battery driven automatons that both whirr and click that have captured all these chance moments and yet never have had a voice to call their own. Until now. These are the cameras of Spoz's Rant, and THIS is their turbulent tale..



This Canon IXUS v3 was the first camera to enter active duty by my side, or quite possibly the second if you count that all too brief flirtation I had with a film camera back in the mid 90's (which we all knew would never last as I could never be arsed developing the film). It was a 3 megapixel marvel of early 21st century technology, box shaped like a tiny 1950's refrigerator, bought for the princely sum of $800 from a contact known only as "Munga" after it seemingly fell off the back of a truck. I called it "Sparky" (quite possibly after the fact), and it first saw battle in the frontlines of the Adelaide music scene on Friday April the 4th 2003. The gig was Your Motive For and Barcode at the Proscenium just off of Hindley Street. The rest they say is history..



Or at least it would've been if Sparky wasn't subsequently wounded in battle a few short months later on Saturday August the 9th 2003 during Dirty Sanchez, August Falls, Subwoofer and Goodhed at the Rhino Room. This near fatal blow was caused by one Craig Bolton, a friend of mine, who got a little too close to the action documenting Subwoofer's set and caused Sparky's screen to malfunction. I was otherwise unavailable to kill Craig firsthand as I was on stage cutting up some retarded "breakbeat terrorism" at the time. Yup that's right: I used to be in a wacky "techno band" called Subwoofer (and yes it was kinda shit) aaaaand we're moving right along..



Limping but not totally lost to the cause, Sparky was sent to be repaired under warranty in some factory off in Japan somewhere. A few short months later it entered active duty again on Friday October the 10th, 2003 for a gig featuring Subwoofer vs Goodhed (again) at the Rhino Room. Many months of faithful service followed covering everything from: The Testeagles, The Spazzys, Good Buddha and the Tea Party until Sparky was nearly destroyed once again on Saturday, February the 26th 2005 during the Adelaide Uni O'Ball featuring Eskimo Joe, Gerling, Evermore and The Hot Lies. When asked about the incident later, I've always chosen to blame Eskimo Joe (and the fact they were kinda "shit") for causing Sparky's camera malfunction that night..



Whilst anyone possessing even a rudimentary intelligence above that of a sea sponge would clearly point the finger at a Shihad gig that I went to over two weeks prior (on Friday, February the 11th 2005 at Adelaide Uni Bar) for providing the excessive amount of what I would later be described as "something not unlike beer" found swimming in Sparky's innards.



In subsequent weeks (whilst Sparky was drying out in AA meetings and questioning its insane devotion to such a deadend career path) I borrow a "no name" 3 megapixel Canon IXUS II from a friend of mine and throw it into battle on March the 12th 2005 for The Prodigy and their headlining slot at Two Tribes. Surprisingly, despite being swamped by a medicine cabinet full of uppers and downers (as pictured), it STILL makes it out the other end with nary a scratch to show for it.



One $180 repair bill later and Sparky returns to battle once more on Saturday, March the 26th 2005. The gig was New Pollutants and Spatial Monkey at the old (basement) Lizard Lounge. It saw countless military campaigns since, covering everything from: Iggy & The Stooges, Franz Ferdinand, The White Stripes, Soulwax, The Grates, The Presets, DJ Shadow, Dungen, The Howling Bells, Airbourne, Saul Williams, Kasabian, Peaches and Tool. And short of a tiny "brain fart" moment during Delusions Of Grandma (as pictured) on Saturday, January the 27th 2007; Sparky retired from active duty (slightly worse for wear) on Sunday, February 25th 2007.



Sparky was soon replaced on the battlefield by this Sony Cybershot DSC-W70. It was a 7 megapixel monster that mysteriously came into my possession as a "booby prize" at the tail end of one of those insane (quite possibly fictional) stories that may quite possibly involve: (a) a near miss employment opportunity for a leading music magazine in the USA in late 2005, (b) a second near miss employment opportunity for another "east coast" music magazine in the USA in late 2006, (c) the same music magazine that I was two weeks away from signing onto if it wasn't for my contact in America: (i) falling pregnant, (ii) freaking the fuck out, and (iii) subsequently dropping the contract on my behalf). I'm STILL unsure to this day as to whether (a) any of said events actually occured, (b) whether my American contact was actually Chino Moreno's "drug dealer", or (c) why this same contact mystery fell "un-pregnant" two weeks later (only to get hit by cancer a year later.. yeeeeouch!). Either way *cough* this camera first saw battle on Thursday, February 22nd 2007 for a gig featuring Mammal and Snap To Zero at the Crown & Anchor..



Only to be almost killed in battle a week later on the night of Friday, March 2nd 2007, quite possibly moments before (or after) this shot was taken, possibly after it was foolishly used as a flying projectile by one Andrew Dodd (aka: "Stoner Andy"); only for it to crash land, lens crushed into the stage of The Crown & Anchor. After much frantic resuscitation on the badly compacted lens, the Sony Cybershot made a remarkable recovery and was since christened with the name "Frisbee" for its near miraculous freaky aerodynamic (and death defying) abilities.



Frisbee would go onto to capture such insane eye bleeding horrors as: Wolfmother, Snowman, Children Collide, Ground Components, The Pixies, Jarvis Cocker, The New York Dolls, The Rapture, Gnarls Barkley, Groove Armada and Har Mar Superstar (and most of those all in the one week) only for its lens to "mysteriously" seize up in battle on Friday, August the 17th 2007 during a CD launch for Fire! Santa Rosa Fire! at Rocket Bar. One may consider this a freak occurance but only if one has forgotten everything they've read up until this point. Frisbee continued to limp on valiantly for the rest of the night but subsequently crapped a pineapple the following day.



Sparky was subsequently brought out of retirement and back into battle as my "emergency replacement unit" the following night for No Through Road, Spindickle and 200 Motels at the Jade Monkey. Besides being plagued by constant screen flicker (and the occassional alcohol enduced "memory blackout") Sparky still performed well above and beyond the call of duty. If this one small tour of duty taught me ONE thing, it was that Sony makes incredibly awesome metallic projectiles (and very shoddy cameras), whilst Canon will likely go on to develop an artificial intelligence that'll usher in a nuclear apocalypse and subsequently kill us all.



Thus with this in mind, and after a week of extensive online research (when I probably should've been working at my crappy office job instead) I chose THIS camera as my next "weapon of choice". The Canon IXUS 950 IS. The best compact camera money could buy in 2007. An 8 megapixel beast, a class act of precision and flawless design bought for the princely sum of $549. It was christened "Gizmo" and mere moments after purchasing was thrown into the frontlines of battle on Friday, August the 24th 2007, upstairs at The Worldsend, for a wacky little punk rock gig featuring The Chevron Whores, The Gels, All Flight Crew Are Dead and Dead Popes Of The Vatican.



Gizmo would subsequently prove all the naysayers wrong by surviving (and thriving) in increasingly volatile conditions capturing photos of Cut Off Your Hands, The Midnight Juggernauts, The Young & Restless, The Vasco Era, Regurgitator (and countless Tony Font Show gigs in between), proving its valour by constantly dodging the slings and arrows of crowdsurfing dipshits in between, only to subsequently "drown", when accidently dropped into a plastic cup of Coopers Pale Ale a few short moments after a live set by Home For The Def at Urtext Studios on Friday November the 2nd 2007 (and for those of you who're curious yes I DID drink the "beer" afterwards.. mmmm tangy!).



With no time to waste, I rushed out to buy a replacement unit the following day, which I christened "Gizmo II", which quite like its predecessor was yet another Canon IXUS 950 IS bought for the princely sum of $510 (as clearly there is no 12 month warranty in the world that could ever hope to cover "act of drunk"). Gizmo II jumps into battle on Saturday, November the 3rd 2007 for The Dardanelles, Fire! Santa Rosa Fire! and The E.L.F at Jive. It has since captured countless thousands of live photos in the 11 months since, everything from: Spank Rock, Vanilla Ice, Rage Against The Machine, Interpol, Broken Social Scene, The Presets, Queens Of The Stone, The Smashing Pumpkins, Helmet, Rocket Science, Cog, Wolf & Cub and The Mess Hall (and countless Tyger Tyger gigs in between). It has captured over 200 live videos (most of which have made their way onto youtube), defied all the diabolical airbourne threats that could ever hope to destroy it, and has up until this (all too ironic) moment been nothing short of a triumph!



For as a Tyler Durden once said: "on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero". Yeah I know. I never believed it either. I thought I could dodge bullets with this shit. I thought it would outlive me! And yet if I actually paid attention, I would've seen the signs of its untimely demise this night. Here on Saturday, October the 18th 2008. As I walked into the Crown & Anchor to the closing refrains of Nirvana's "Very Ape" from the "In Utero" album (a more apt description of the unbridled carnage I was about to face I would not find), I sealed its fate. Oh yes! These are the final moments of Gizmo II as captured on its "black box recorder"! These are its famous last words! This is the last battle where it went down fighting!



COERCE (****) myspace ::
It would take a full hour until our opening act finally made an appearance on stage. An hour I spent pacing back and forth in front of the stage with murder on my mind; not necessarily for the band but more for the cannon fodder (part baboon, part combine harvester) that they were about to attract like a locust swarm to the frontlines. This may've been their first ever gig tonight, but they had a reputation and that reputation was Mike Deslandes. You may remember him as the screaming bloodclot from "Realist Few". You may remember the path of destruction he carved through the Adelaide scene back in 2006. You may remember his former bandmate Gary (aka: Beardy) smashing and throwing guitars through walls. You may remember Gary's brother punching and kicking a hapless "stage invader" to a bleeding pulp during Realist Few's support slot for The Young & Restless back in January 2007. You may also have the metal pins and the glass eyes to prove it. This was no teddy bears picnic: this was war, kill or be killed, death to unbelievers. And joined on stage by Karl from Soft White Machine and a one-two uppercut of ex cons on bass and drums I was half wondering if I was gonna get out've here alive. Coerce. They're hardcore thrash shitkicking a smoke alarm. They're broken bones and spitting teeth. They're a rage virus outbreak set to guitars and blood curdling screams. They're a pack of junkyard dogs prowling the stage inches from our face, held back by invisible chains that they constantly railed against. We're the only thing standing between them and the end of the world and here I am stupid enough to take photos of this shit? Awesome! Remind me again why I'm not dead yet!?












Coerce. To describe them past all the insane screaming, thrashing, bloodletting and the ringing of your ears; they most remind me of Nine Inch Nails ("Letting You" from The Slip, "You Know What You Are?" from With Teeth, "March Of The Pigs" from Downward Spiral or pretty much anything from their Broken EP), the militant rage of Rage Against The Machine and the black and blue bruising of Test Icicles, Fugazi and Tool. It's Mikey assaulting the microphone like a shaved monkey ready to be shot out into space. It's their bass player leaning way out into the crowd and decapitating people with his swinging axe (he almost took me out a few times with that shit). It's Karl on guitar hunched over and traumatized whilst the drummer unleashes the stench. They're an act of desperation. They're a caged heat. They're a pressure cooker in angular guitars. They're a rock tumbler giving birth to a tornado. Coerce. Fuuuuuck! What a way to start a night!



And now for absolutely no reason whatsoever (or quite possibly to distract you momentarily whilst the Crown & Anchor's bar staff cheerfully hose out all the blood and the bullet riddled carcasses from the band room), here's a photo of me with Brett: Adelaide's happiest homicidal bloodnut (formerly from My Sister The Cop) and his novelty green corn-on-the-cob party whistle. You may laugh at him now but when he's "sinking below the waves" in the mosh later tonight, that shit's gonna save his life! (or in a worst case scenario, simply help us to identify the remains!).



THUNDERCLAW (***) myspace ::
If Coerce set our blood boiling on tethered chains in act one, then surely act two will test those chains to breaking point. They are a test of patience. They are a test of endurance. They are a psychological experiment in extremes to see if you'll totally lose your shit and explode midway into their set and take out half of the audience with you. Thunderclaw. In essence they're an instrumental act. Four members that for the most part form an inner circle away from the audience and lose themselves to a world of dirge stoner metal. Noodling jams that go (seemingly nowhere) for more than 10 minutes at a time. A circle jerk of chugging guitars, noise, aimless drumming and more chugging guitars with little or no audience reaction or even acknowledgement. A shapeless grind thats somewhat reminiscent of Sepulchura, Pantera, Helmet, "St Anger" era Metallica and a whole host of other primordial Neanderthal music that I know next to nothing about (short of throwing a few names in the air); although they DO remind me of a large chunk of my mid to late 90's when everyone pretended they were into this shit. I can see it now: a dank, smoke filled room cluttered with Slayer posters, half empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, bongs and Star Wars figurines. In the corner sits a Super Nintendo or a Sony Playstation. In the other sits an overclocked PC continuously burning up CDs filled with porn and pirated games. These are your friends. They're really good at Doom, Quake and Counterstrike. Their only goal in life is the smoke copious amounts of drugs and cruise around on their skateboard vandalising shit. Their names are Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. If ever they got over their homicidal tendancies and formed a band it would sound very much like this. Thunderclaw. They break you down one aimless jam after the other. They wears you down to a nub. They get stopped by the cops wherever they go..












It takes a certain type of person to truly appreciate this music. To their credit they've got it nailed to a blackening niche, to an artform. To me they may be alienating as fuck, but to you they may be nothing short of the viking gods of Valhalla pissing gold into your ears; either way they're sure as fuck having a volatile effect on the increasingly psychotic crowd standing before them as Thunderclaw have well and truly found themselves deep behind enemy lines. Every few minutes another empty pint glass flies overhead and shatters onto the stage. The crowd are tipping over mic stands. Their constant hurling of abuse is wearing the band down as much as their music is wearing ME down. I feel their pain. Their drummer Joel has worn down one of his drumsticks to half of its size. He doesn't have a replacement. He's twisted his ankle two weeks ago and now midway through their set that dull ache, growing ever sharper is shooting up his leg. The rest of the band briefly consider whether to continue or whether to don gasmasks, let loose a few Sarin cannisters and clear the fuck out've there before the cops arrive. Then just before a fullscale riot breaks out to the chant of "play some War Pigs!! WAAAAR PIGS!!" they let loose THIS beast..



And if you actually made it to the very end, that's not the entire song! That's all I could upload onto youtube before it violated the "ten minute rule". There's two to three more minutes where that came from. That depressing dirge, that black cloud, it just hangs here and sucks all the oxygen out of the room as the devoted few, true acolytes of the way of the Thunderclaw hold back the tide threatening to surge whilst more pint glasses come shattering onto the stage before me. Any minute now they're gonna start with the flaming arrows, then the siege towers and the clanging of swords on shields, then the goblins, orcs and uruk-hai are going to storm this stage and devour everything in sight. As fun as this is, they couldn't come a moment too soon!



ROBOTOSAURUS (??) myspace ::
Eventually relief comes in our headlining act, and by relief I'm clearly meaning of the "Stockholm Syndrome" variety. The sort of multiple choice quiz that comes up with such tasty answers as: (a) being tethered up and torn apart by wild horses (b) burnt at the stake, (c) drowned or (d) buried alive. Robotosaurus. They begin their set with their lead singer "Izzy" throwing up all over the stage, throwing his mic stand at me (which I barely duck in time) followed by him leaping off the stage with kamikaze glee to violate anyone and everyone in sight. The floodgates swung wide open. The crowd exploded. People were scattering everywhere like rats fleeing a sinking ship but there was no escape. Izzy's got the taste of blood and he wont stop till a human sacrifice is made. As far as the sound was concerned, all I could remember was screaming, unholy and retarding screaming that scrapes layers of skin red raw at the back of your throat and guitars that cut shrill like dentist drills. I think Nick from Delusions Of Grandma described it to me as sounding somewhat like Dillinger Escape Plan. I equate it more with the sound of the gates of hell shrunk to the size of a cat's sphincter crapping out a cheese grater over and over with the volume turned way up. I think I even recognised "Kevin Smith" (aka: Dave from the Grenadiers) out there on guitars but perhaps I was just hallucinating. It was getting far too hairy out front, even for me. I shot off a few quick flash photography shots (most of them useless) then I got the fuck out of there.



Turning my back on the band momentarily and back tracking through the crowd towards the back (with aims to return for some better stage light shots as soon as the "body count" dropped to levels that wouldn't skeletonise a cow in ten seconds), I paused amongst the throng of flying helicopter arms that surged before me in effort to capture some of these fucked up slam dancing shots, pissing myself laughing along the way at all the stupidity that erupted around me..




Only for one stray hand to come flying out of the crowd to slap that camera out of my hand, sending it airbourne and crash landing "head first" onto the floor before me. I scrambled to collect it moments before some other wingnut could smash it, only to discover that the damage had already been done. Lens crushed, zoom fractured, neck vertebrae dislocated, camera long since paralysed from the neck down. My reaction of course was more than understandable..



I charging out of that crowd halfway between a crazed expression and a furrowed brow, frantically trying to pop the lens back into shape like it was nothing but a dislocated shoulder: "No damnit! not again!? GNAAARGGHHH DAMNIT!!!". I pulled this trick once before with my Sony Cybershot. Fuckit, I could do it again! And all the while it kept flashing that same message on its screen: "lens error, restart camera", beeping away as it attempting to right itself. After half an hour, maybe more frantically working to rescucitate it, it finally dawned on me. For want of better word, this photo of Mick from Tyger Tyger with a smashed beer bottle pretty much says it all..



Gizmo II was gone. Pronounced dead at 12:11AM on Sunday October 19th 2008. Damn. What a way to go! If I had to destroy another one, I couldn't have picked a more suitable killing field than this one. Of all the tragedy, at least it died a warrior's death. The rest they say is nothing but white noise, a million missed photo opportunities (and many more beers to drown in).



Yup, sometimes you know when a battle is lost. Sometimes you know when to walk away and let the animals piss where they may. Sometimes you simply say "fuck it all!" and leap into the fray for one last shot. Such is the way of things. On a lighter note however, hours after drowning my sorrow (over having to fork out ANOTHER $400-500 on my non-existent salary to replace this camera for next week.. yeeeeouch!) I return to the Crown & Anchor once more, only to spot Izzy, lead singer of Robotosaurus, stammering blindly out those exit doors, helped along the way by some friends; head bandaged, bleeding profusely from his forehead. In some warped way I considered this more than fair trade, in another I felt honoured that these two warriors could both face off in heated battle and neither would leave the victor. In both they have lead life to the fullest.

Previously on Spoz's Rant: My Disco + Clue To Kalo + Swords

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
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