:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: KITTEN KONG
(Album Launch)
with PONYTAIL KINK
and GOONBOMB
:: FLEUR GREEN
& THE KEEPERS
(Single Launch) with
AARON THOMAS TRIO
:: MOONHUNTER
(Single Launch)
with TYMPANO
and THE CRAVES
:: SUBMERGE
(Single Launch)
with LEAD WORM
and ABOLISHED
:: MARK CURTIS &
THE FLANNELETTES
(Single Launch) with
KITCHEN WITCH and
RYAN MARTIN JOHN
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: AARON THOMAS TRIO :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ABOLISHED :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALANA JAGT & THE MONOTREMES :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPARITION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATTONBITUS :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: BAD//DREEMS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BEC STEVENS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: THE BLACK HEART DEATH CULT :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: THE BLEEDING FLARES :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CELESTITE :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: THE CLANGERS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAVES :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: DEVIL ELECTRIC :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DOM TRIMBOLI & THE WIZARDS :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DYSPORA :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELECTRIC FIELDS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS ::ELEPHANT :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: EL-P :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMILY WYATT :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FLEUR GREEN & THE KEEPERS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GARDEN RUIN :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOONBOMB :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: HANNAH FAIRLAMB :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEAPS GOOD FRIENDS :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JOHNNY AMERICAN HORSE :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEAD WORM :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE DUST :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS & THE FLANNELETTES :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: THE MATEHS :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! 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:: Wednesday, December 01, 2010

LYLA + THE SWEET DECLINE
"SITTING IN THE SUN" EP LAUNCH @ JIVE / Saturday November 27th 2010

Question.. how many of you have experienced deja vu: that weirdly "familiar" yet foreign feeling you've done something before? like countless numerous times before? like every fucking week before? to the point you've created an increasingly shitcrazy and nonsensical blog on it? one that's gotten waaay too stupidly "popular" for its own good? as much as you suspect all people ever do with it is skip past all the "good bits" (wait.. there are GOOD BITS!?), pilfer increasingly fucked up photos of themselves for their facebook profiles whilst posting increasingly psychotic "anonymous" complaints detailing at length just why you're the worst thing that's ever happened to the Adelaide scene, because let's face it the entire internet is fueled by nothing but screaming narcissism and rage 24/7!? HA HA HA I know I haven't! EVERY WEEK'S A SHINY NEW ADVENTURE FOR ME!! YAAAY!! or maybe I'm just rambling for my own sake here (fuck am I ever!). I have trouble sleeping, did you know that? pfft.. OF COURSE YOU DO!! it's all I ever fucking write about, as much as I seem to exhibit less and less visible "side effects" thriving without it (pfft.. who am I kidding?). No I truly am the most remarkable borderline dysfunction and deviation to the human condition, and I really should take more "credit" for it! Who needs sleep when you're a weapon? (thanks Matt Banham, may your liver rest in peace!). Who needs hangovers when you have the cure (just keep drinking!). Who needs a normal life when you can surround yourself with the "living dead" day and night and live out your fantasies until they become "nightmares" and fill every moment of your eye gouging, head exploding existence!? Oh I am truly blessed to be a part of this human zoo as much as I'm stupidly cursed by it! I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here huddled in this corner, foetal position and howling! YES!! And tonight I've come to bury myself up to my neck in it waiting for the buzzards to arrive, here at Jive for yet another launch party.. "launch party? LAUNCH PARTY!? DO THEY EVER DO ANYTHING ELSE!?" HELL NO!! or at least not if their owner Tam gives your "anything less than a sellout show" the sad face, then beats you upside the head with a shovel and buries you out in the carpark for your troubles (it's why the asphalt's so lumpy!). No come one, come all, join me in celebrating nothing but the very best that the Adelaide scene has to offer! For tonight? we're SO gonna rock your world you're gonna need passports to find your way back home again!



Yup tonight it's Lyla's night of nights launching their new EP "Sitting In The Sun", and you can just tell how "wildly excited" I am to be here too (oh believe me it's been months in the making!) by the fact that no sooner did I arrive? I promptly collapsed spreadeagle face down on the dancefloor snoring.. ooops I mean "utterly overcome with emotion" only to awake in fits and starts thrashing about with camera in hand; and all of it perfectly normal behaviour I assure you! because I live for launch parties! I freaking LOVE launch parties! LAUNCH PARTIES!! AAAAHAHAhAhAhaHaHAhAHahA!! WOOOO!! yeaaah who am I kidding here? I'm totally burnt out! I've had enough! I'm at wits end! I swear I'm gonna punch the next jackass in the throat who dares invite me to another one of these things.. FUCKING HELL!! as much as I'm very much appreciating the sublime "comedy" of it all. Oh I'm laughing lemme tell you! It's been one hell of an awesome year for the Adelaide scene, HEAD EXPLODINGLY AWESOME!! it's been insane and utterly unprecedented, we've been totally losing our shit to the point we almost had a shit shortage on our hands! I mean how many launch parties have I covered this year? HOW MANY!? (wait.. we already did this bit last week!?). Yeah ok I realise many of you "tourists" might not get this, nor should you (you're simply here to enjoy yourselves and we encourage that!) but if you're a "resident": if you're a mixer, manager, promoter, doorbitch or barstaffer (or some arseclown who writes a blog like this, by choice, and still thinks he can bitch about it!?) I bet you can relate to just how exhausting all this endless "excitement" feels.. every week! EVERY WEEK!! In fact I might've even been lost in conversation with one just now, swapping war stories and laughing at our collective lot in life, aka: Patrick Saracino, house mixer for Rocket Bar, bass player for Like Leaves, hell of a guy (filling in for Jive's resident mixer Matt Hills who was off enjoying "A Day On The Green" tonight.. half his luck!). So much so we almost failed to notice that our opening act was already playing behind us, in the dark, and nobody's any the wiser to it? (not even the audience). Ooops! I mean I'm kidding of course.. but what the FUCK is going on!?





THE SWEET DECLINE (***1/2) myspace ::
Yup would you believe it was like THAT for at least five to six songs into our opening act's set? Awesome huh!? HA HA HA TOTALLY!! (no shit I live for moments like these!). I mean granted Pat WAS behind the desk at the time doing a masterful job in mixing them, just as I was cursing and swearing doing my utmost in photographing them in anything better than a retarded motion blur (meh.. can't complain really, even when Jive's stage lighting sucks balls like that? it still blows considerably less "goat" than Rocket Bar or Rhino Room) and the rest is simply comedic license on my part. But according to both the audience and the venue hosting them tonight? pfft.. it was like they didn't even exist, duuude it was freaking hilarious! In fact venue owner Tam might even have popped out from backstage at one point (in the middle of one of their songs mind you) to test out the DVD player functionality on the projector screen with her remote (cue a flickering Panasonic logo and a menu screen) all but oblivious that anything was even amiss here. Better yet? most of the audience were simply way too busy getting blind drunk at the bar to care (and considering the vast majority were Lyla fans it's not like you could blame them) and as for an explanation? well I have two possible theories. Firstly it might have been a sly act of revenge, or Jive's mischevious way of showing them that they're THIS CLOSE to being beaten "upside the head with a shovel.." (if only the handle reached that far) for past misdemeanors. As on two separate (and we assume wildly unrelated) occassions both their lead singer and drummer: brothers Tom and Lee Kennedy respectively, both have incurred entry bans from "Gosh" on a Saturday night. And it's anyone's guess HOW this happened (as obviously I'm too lazy to ask) but let's just assume for their benefit that this wasn't for all the usual "drunk or disorderly" including or not limiting to: peeing on the foosball table, peeing on the bar, attempting to set fire to the jäger machine at the bar WHILST peeing on it (or simply giving it a bad name behind its "back") or otherwise failing to cower in respectful obeisance to Craig Flanigan (aka: Count Dracula, Darth Vader, Lord Sauron) whenever he entered the room at the start of his DJ set.. but more for the fact they were just WAAAY TOO FREAKING AWESOME FOR JIVE (or yeaaah pretty much everything ELSE I just invented to laughingly "incriminate" them with). While my second theory is that all four members of this band are either chronic porphyriacs (sensitive to sunlight), vampires, mogwais or gremlins (which likely leads more credence to why Jive should NEVER have "fed them after midnight") and yeaaah I'll let you make your own mind up which theory is more plausible. For as much as we may all want to posit a THIRD theory that this was all Lyla's fault? and their totally underhanded way of ensuring that their one and only support would never have a chance in upstaging them!? they were actually the ones that finally came to their "rescue" when their drummer Dave Mazzarelli finally looked up from the bar, saw what was wrong and jumped behind the lighting rig to address it (duuude.. legend!). Yup this is The Sweet Decline. Clearly they're nothing but troublemakers, as much as this entire review has very little to do with their music (and I'm merely writing it up for my own amusement) but if you haven't been introduced to them yet.. simply picture Liam Gallagher giving birth to a sperm whale out of his engorged sinus cavities whilst Black Rebel Motorcycle Club frantically beat him black and blue with the blunt end of their instruments and that'd be your monkey; as much as they also share some sonic similarities to both early Kasabian and Kings Of Leon (but in a way that I swear totally ISN'T an insult). And tonight's set (short of that wacky "blackout" that obscured all but four of their songs) was marked by just how viscerally dirty, greasy and downright gasoline "gutteral" it all felt, only to give way to more widescreen textures in the middle. All of it infectious in a low slung rhythmic "swagger" provided by Shane Brown on bass that gave it an awesome oldskool rock & roll flavour, made even more memorable by teeny tiny colourful additions: Gus Johnston's virtuouso guitar noodlings in their fourth song "Release", Lee's maraca shakes in new song "Waiting On A Shadow", that cover they did of The Animals "Inside Looking Out"? duuude.. nothing but genius! Yup that was The Sweet Decline. Admittedly they may have been all but buried under the asphalt tonight.. but with a sound as "down and dirty" as this? at least we'll know where to start digging!















And this was the "rapturous reception" they received right up until at the end? Aaaah I know! you truly couldn't ask for a warmer welcome than this, to the point it almost puts the "cold shoulder" The Ed Castle bandroom gives you on a Saturday night to shame (aka: the janitor's closet) only with ten times the extra ouchyness and raging hipster aloofness; so much so you'd half wonder if everyone else here simply thought THIS was the soundcheck!? and better yet they pulled this shit as late as 10PM tonight? at Jive!? DUUUDE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY WAITING FOR!? (oh wait don't tell me). Yup I couldn't help but laugh at this either (trust me.. it's the only way I maintain my sanity) as much as I did feel a little weird being the only person out here taking photos (a sure sign that I'd lost the last of my "sanity" years ago) as much as I was beginning to suspect it was somehow MY fault all this happened. I mean suuure I might have cooked up a mean steak dinner tonight, and I might have gone a little too heavy on all the mushrooms, peas, bacon and sweet chilli sauce and the air circulation in here might have left a little to be desired *cough* wait.. what the FUCK am I talking about!? IT CAN'T BE MEEEE!? no clearly all YOU crapweasels are to blame!



For no sooner did The Sweet Decline leave the stage, that all my paranoia was promptly dismissed (I mean c'mon I just got my black jacket dry cleaned and everything!) and my suspicions all but confirmed just how "single minded" this crowd were in ignoring all but the object of their adoration tonight: when a veritable clusterfuck of handbags exploded about me front of stage in various shades of designer and knock off (or fuck I dunno.. does it look like I have two X chromosomes to rub together in being more specific here?) all in wild anticipation for our headlining act.. hmmm?



Yup to some they might affectionately be known as "The Lylabirds", to others "EGADS WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!!" either way? their war cries in deafening decibels (and shrill ear splitting cadence) alone was downright undeniable. Oh yes! they'd truly come home to roost tonight and there was simply no escaping them (not that I'm complaining of course, except they sure as shit weren't here for me *sigh*). For they'd been waiting feverishly for a whole seven months for THIS moment to come, or pretty much since their last launch party back in April (as surely they wouldn't manifest in such mad multitudes for anything less) and tonight they were looking to celebrate the screaming fuck out of it, even if they have to massacre everyone else in this room to achieve it.



LYLA (****1/2) myspace ::
Now I know what you're thinking after all that. Just as I used to wonder the same thing.. "no really? LYLA? WHAT THE FUCK DO ALL THESE HYSTERICAL NITWITS SEE IN THIS BAND!?". And as much as we COULD all cite all manner of insane conspiracy theories as plausible answers, ie: it's a private school thing (didn't they all go to Rostrevor!?), it's some fucked up rock & roll "WAG" type thing? or maybe keyboards Stefan "Blobby" Krcmarov really IS that wildly "pants wettingly" attractive to the opposite sex that they come flocking in droves to bask in his musky scent (wait.. it's the whole he looks like a gay pirate from 1985 right!?). But as much as all this combined may begin to explain SOME of their "screaming fangirl" appeal? I've figured a much more likely explanation that truly encompasses EVERYTHING in one here: and you need look no further than their sparkly scarves, pointy shoes, designer jackets, dress shirts and overabundance of near unpronouncable Italian surnames to figure it out too. Yup Lyla are without a doubt THE quintessential "fashion band". And I don't mean because they're in any way fashionable in what they play, pfft.. what are you kidding me!? by the very fact they're ripping off everything from Oasis, Supergrass to Jet to colour their sound: makes them either six years waaay too late, or six to sixteen years waaay too early to be considered hipster relevant (aaaah and aren't they ever so refreshingly dorky because of it?). Nope to put it more bluntly they're just the kind of band that girls everywhere would love to fantasize about dressing up. No more than that.. they're the kind of band girls don't have to fantasize about dressing up because they love nothing better than to be dressed up in return.. HA HA HA no shit they're the Adelaide scene equivalent of playing "barbie dolls" in the most hilariously tragic way possible AND DON'T THEY JUST LOVE THEM FOR IT!? YOUUU BETCHA!! Still as much as this does provide me with endless ammunition to mock them mercilessly with? they surprisingly don't suck as musicians, weirder still they're actually getting good at it, maybe even real GOOD at it, so much so you almost forget just why you were laughing at them in the first place (oh no wait, there goes "Blobby" again.. AAAAHAHahaHAHahaHA!! *ahem* oh he's a gift that keeps on giving I swear!). Yup this is Lyla. Tonight they're launching their brand new EP "Sitting In The Sun", which according to them is their "debut EP", despite the fact they already released one "It Ain't Right" (not to be confused with the 2010 single of the same name) back in November 2008 and I know this WHY!? because I WAS THERE YOU FOOLS!! Still considering how far they've come in two years? maybe they're allowed a little bit of revisionist history here. With the EP recorded predominantly in Hillside Studios (a teeny bit at Broadcast) over winter, often in between DJ sets at The Ed Castle, and well into the morning: what makes their shit particularly noteworthy now is that they produced a lot of it themselves (and they totally didn't fuck it up either) and it appears this increased confidence has rubbed off in their a-grade performance tonight. Leaping onto stage like conquering heroes to the hysterical screams of their Lylabird rent-a-crowd: they tear into the first three songs "Walk", "Into Yer Bones" and "Get On" barely pausing for breathe in covering an A-Z of all the swaggering retro rock cliches (and masterfully so too) all buzzing guitars and bass, honky tonk keys, shouted upbeat slogans passed off as lyrics with a swinging rhythm section that whips a dancefloor into hysterics? aaaah fuck it.. if you've heard any of Jet's "Get Born" album you pretty much know it already. But as the set wears on they get that much more creative with it. From Stefan alternating between slamming tandem sticks percussion and keys through fourth and fifth songs "It Ain't Right" and "Dig It (When You're Down)". To Matt Minucci hammering out a deranged cover of The Gossip's "Dimestore Diamond" on a shitty 1950's style radio mic (which absolutely kills) only to join the rest of the band in launching into the last two songs: "Cadillac" and "All Dressed Up And No Release" (both re-worked into nothing short of a full throttle "chainsaw" attack in how much they cut up a dancefloor). And short of some teeny tiny issues with Sammy Bruno's bass lead they're every inch a five headed diabolical beast in playing it to precision. They're borderline taking the absolute piss out of themselves in all the mad shapes they're pulling in projecting it. The crowd's absolutely eating it up, as much as I'm doing my best not to roll my eyes to it (as much as I'm pissing myself laughing in all the photos I'm getting of it). Yup that's Lyla! They're so damn "rock & roll" now they're practically its pisstaking punchline. But they're getting so damn good at it: not only in looking the part but in SOUNDING the part? I dare say we wouldn't have it any other way!

















11:19PM - Still what was most surprising about this set, is how after eight or nine songs? they simply walked right off stage. And it's not because they were running late or anything. They weren't receiving any daggers from "Howard Wolowitz" at the DJ booth. Shit duuude.. they finished ten minutes early here, he hadn't even arrived yet! Nope as much as I could gather Lyla simply left the crowd "begging for more". Weirder still they didn't even pull a "fake out", turn tale and rush back for an encore, they made a clean getaway. "Wait.. THEY TOTALLY JUST UP AND LEFT!?". Yup and as much as I did my utmost to whip everyone into a frenzy regardless? (yeaaah I know, but I don't care how many launch parties I've been to I'll still I make an effort!) I had to give them mad props for not caving into pressure: there WAS no encore, there was no need for one, they owned this crowd and they simply left on their own terms (possibly in a mad hurry to DJ at The Ed Castle). Hmmm. And as such? I was very much thinking of doing the same (except totally not a DJ set and very much in the opposite direction) just as soon as I conducted some necessary "housekeeping" on my camera (ie: by deleting every single photo I got of Matt Minucci where he didn't look like a spastic wingnut.. tee hee!) only to be ambushed by THESE three "spastic wingnuts" in turn all gagging for a photo, all to commemorate what might've been the WILDEST NIGHT OF THEIR LIVES! "like five kinds of head explodingly yipeeee and shit!" and just a few shades short of me loudly cursing and swearing under my breath in return? I was more than happy to oblige. WHY!? aaaah fuck it.. as much as I do this crap every week? it's nice to know people still get excited about it.



12:02AM - And then a little over half an hour later I walked out of Jive. And yeaaah I know I could've been a little more "wildly descriptive" in that departure: "walked!? couldn't you have said run? skipped? jumped? spontaneously combusted into an exploding hive mind of cannibalistic fire ants!? PUT SOME ENERGY INTO IT MAAAN!!". But I was still dead sober, as in bone dry "church on a Sunday" sober, everything I'd done upto this point tonight had pretty much been on autopilot and pfft.. do we really give a flying fuck either way? HA HA HA FUCK OFF!! But still what was surprising was the "sorry sight" of Hindley Street outside very much echoing in my half arsed sentiment. Expecting to see a colossal lineup for "Gosh"? I'm instead greeted by a lazyarse gathering stifling yawns, wondering just what the fuck to do with the rest of their night (maybe even head home already) which sounds kinda lame for a Saturday night, except when you factor in LAST night: when just about everyone I know killed themselves stupid in an apocalyptic shitstorm of drunkeness celebrating "end of uni exams" (fuck it.. even if they weren't AT university it was on!) and short of enrolling in kindergarten next year? they weren't looking for a repeat performance here tonight.



12:25AM - So as much as I could've done what I'd usually done at this point and hit up The Ed Castle next, drinking myself so deleriously blind I'd forget I was even AT The Ed Castle and hell I could've totally caught The Jezabels while I was at it too: high rotated on Triple J and supported by Two Hour Traffic and Galleon!? (WOWEEEE!! I almost spoofed out of me ears I'm THAT spastically excited by the prospects!) but yeaaah I had different plans: namely hiding out here at The Exeter until the screaming in my head stopped. And by "hiding out" I mean quite literally. You see, the main reason I'd picked that launch party at Jive in the first place was not JUST so I could help "celebrate" Lyla's whizzbang new EP release the only way I knew how (laughing ambivalence and biting sarcasm anyone? HELL YEAAAS!!) but also in finding a legitimate excuse to simultaneously avoid everything ELSE apocalyptically insane that had my name on it. Namely an album launch party for "Furry Red Records" at The Metro (featuring upto sixteen live bands and my swift burial if ever I was insane enough to write about it), a Buck's Party for Joe Blogs' wedding next week whilst simultaneously celebrating Simone's Hen's Night (yes.. I totally got invited to both, I really am that stupidly awesome!). And yes any other time of year I would've totally been up for it too, ALL OF IT.. and I don't doubt the obituary the following week would've been both heartfelt AND hilariously succinct in explaining just why it would've been a bad idea too. But tonight I'd much rather switch my phone off, cower in a corner and simply wait for it all to blow the fuck away. And did I mention they had beer here!? seriously how BRILLIANT is my plan.. you're totally jealous now aren't you!?



1:59AM - SO brilliant a plan in fact, that moments before I could think to switch my phone off I soon had like "minded company" to share it with. All of whom shall remain nameless of course. Not just to protect their anonymity or anything (or the nature of the "who", "what" or "why" they were allegedly fleeing from flailing and screaming) but more for the fact I couldn't be arsed mentioning every single one of them in passing (I mean shit duuude would it really interest you if I did!?). Or at least save for Simone here: who was seeking some much needed sanctuary in escaping her own Hen's Night. I mean don't get me wrong she was having a "ball" tonight, maybe even the "racket" to go along with it; but she was also feeling maybe a little too "sober and of sound mind" to even consider joining the rest of her kamikaze crew in killing themselves retarded at Shotz (SHOTZ!? EGADS!!). So instead we hid out here in relative sobriety, nursing our one drink each: we talked, we laughed, we reminisced.. it was all rather nostalgic really. I mean as much as I've put her through hell on this blog for the past five years? (and occassionally she's even returned the favour!) she's a dearest friend of mine, I love her to bits, I don't say it nearly often enough (and no you don't always need a night of "shitcrazy debauchery" jumping on table tops to appreciate that) and yes she's getting married next week, and I think she'll make a beautiful bride too.. I mean just look at her being all radiant! (NO, DON'T GO POSTING ANGRY COMMENTS ABOUT THIS YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLES we're having a freaking "moment" here ok!?) just as this mirror at The Exeter probably needs a good clean too. Hmmm. No really is that beer or bird crap? it's really quite distracting!



2:12AM - Yup short of anything happening at Shotz (dare I mention The Crown & Anchor!?) it was blissfully, almost eerily quiet in the east end tonight. The Exeter for one was all but "resting its eyes" in peaceful slumber; or at the very least I was far too sober (and in no mood to drink myself delerious) to appreciate its "finer qualities". So when Simone suggested she was thinking of hitting up a falafel before clocking off for the night? I figured I'd tag along, in the very least for the much needed change in scenery. Which brought us here to Falafel House on Rundle: or at least I think it's still called that, as admittedly it's been years since I'd even acknowledged it in passing. In fact seven or eight years ago when I used to frequent it? I even accidently got a dish named after me. No shit! I was totally obliterated one night (as you do) and accidently asked for both hummus and barbecue sauce on my "cheese, onion and bacon hotdog". And I was so utterly impressed with my hideous frankenstein creation I kept asking for it every week after that, and before too long it even got christened as the "Spoz Dog". It was quite the raging phenomenon too! for all of three or four months in which it existed (ie: before they changed staff and nobody could got the joke why I was ordering it). And would you believe I even had a few photos up on these walls too? yeaaah you really don't give a crap about any of this do you!? aaaah fuck it.. time to hit the west end again?



2:54AM - After accompanying Simone to the west end and sending her off in a taxi.. no mean feat mind you: for as it turns out next to every single one of them were frantically fleeing both us AND State Treasurer Kevin Foley who was simultaneously trying to catch one several streets over (but pfft.. since when has politics and me making merciless fun of it had any relevance to a binge drinking blog on the Adelaide scene!? YEAH, AND LET'S HOPE IT REMAINS THAT WAY!!) I eventually found myself at The Ed Castle. Only most of which probably didn't bear any mentioning in passing (as I left soon after), as it was even more whistle blown and buried than The Exeter; or at least it WAS short of this whimsical bit of graffiti I found on the hair dryer in the men's toilets. I know! isn't it just the wittiest damn shit you ever seen!? HA HA HA duuude it totally made my night I swear!



4:40AM - So inspired I was by that shit in fact, that short of everything else "hilariously batcrap insane" that might have been happening at Supermild tonight (and don't worry it's not like you would've missed much) I couldn't help but document this mysterious Tintin graffiti I found in their toilets too. And as for why it's ever so "mysterious"? well that'd be because it's not the ONLY Tintin I've found either. In fact if you look closely throughout the west end of late (or at least for the past few months) it's been damn near sprouting up everywhere! Or at the very least I've seen it at The Ed Castle and here it is again.. so yeah, totally "everywhere". Kinda makes you think now doesn't it!? "What? that Spoz's Rant is so utterly bankrupt and bereft in fresh and insightful commentary on the Adelaide scene that it's resorting to retarded toilet humour instead!?". Well shit duuude it's always done THAT.. but more for the fact that no matter how long or how much or how often you've explored the length and breadth of this scene? no matter how much it beats you black and blue you in mind numbing familiarity there's always something NEW to inspire you! "Huh? what the hell kinda crap is that!? you're just repeating yourself! YOU SAID THAT LAST WEEK YA FUCKHEAD!!". Yeah? well why don't you just go read Underdale Facepalm INSTEAD if you feel so hard done by it!? SHEEESH!! wait.. why am I having an argument with myself all a sudden? and why the fuck am I still stuck HERE talking about Tintin in a fucking toilet!? aaaah screw this shit.. I'm going home!



Yup, have you ever experienced that weirdly "familiar" yet foreign feeling that you're living the penultimate episode to a TV show before the "epic end of season cliffhanger"? only next week it repeats that same penultimate episode again? and again? and again with no clear resolution or ending to it? AND THEN YOU JUST WANNA FUCKING EXPLODE AND KILL EVERYTHING IN SIGHT JUST TO GET IT OVER WITH!? AAAAHAHaHAHahAhAHA!! or maybe not. As much as we're totally living that right now and have been for the past few weeks and it's called November. Yes.. NOVEMBER!! And soon it will be December. And then we'll totally get that "epic end of season cliffhanger" we've always wanted.. or at the very least a much needed holiday moments before we have a psychotic breakdown (and not a moment too soon!) OH MAAAN do I need a holiday! as much as all THIS is a "holiday" from something ELSE and you're probably all living that right now under your flickering fluorescents and your LCDs and your ringing telephones wondering just what the fuck I'm rambling on about (wait.. is that Centrelink!?) and if ever there was a moral to all this insanity? it's despite everything I've ever said to the contrary, I truly love every DAMN minute of this fucked up Adelaide scene that curses me day and night.. and if I ever disagree with it? I only have myself to blame!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Ride Into The Sun + The Magic Bones + The Amcats

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
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