:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: AAARRRRR!
ALL ABOARD FOR
PIRATEY VARIETY
(Fringe Festival)
:: SUBMERGE, DOUBLE
DENIM and TIERSMAN
(Fringe Festival)
:: TORTE E MORT
(Fringe Festival)
:: THE BYZANTINES
(EP Launch) with
COSMO THUNDERCAT
(Fringe Festival)
:: BLACK CORAL, SONS
OF ZOKU, THE HOWLING
FOG, BLOOD PLASTIC
and KITCHEN WITCH
(Fringe Festival)
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BAD//DREEMS :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! 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MORRIS SINNERS :: ST. VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STONEFIELD :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSETTLER :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERPHATASS :: SURES :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA FIRMA :: THANES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: TIERSMAN :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THEE OH SEES :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: UK SPECIAL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URTEKK :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTOLIN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WALTER MARSH :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: WASTED WANDERERS :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WILD OATS :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WOE :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX :: YANKEE MACHINE :: YEASAYER :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN ::

:: Wednesday, April 14, 2010

LYLA + 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES
"IT AIN'T RIGHT" SINGLE LAUNCH PARTY @ JIVE / Saturday April 10th 2010

Tonight is a Saturday night, or at least I'm pretty sure it is, I'm losing track of this shit lately so it helps to check. I'm standing outside of Jive, approximately 8:48PM, says so on my watch, which is possibly why I have one: except it also says so on my phone, my ipod and on my camera so it's probably a little bit redundant. I got here on the 137 bus down Henley Beach road, 14 minute trip, 2 minute walk from the bus stop down Currie Street, Clarendon and Hindley. I'm listening to Primal Scream's "Evil Heat", I got upto 4th track "Detroit" only to bump into a few members from Lyla, which is rather convenient because they're just the band I'm here to see. YEAAAS!! It's their single launch party tonight, the 10th, possibly 11th launch party I've covered this year (duuude don't get me started) I'm expecting it to be epic and I'd very much like a beer. And I'm telling you all this now, because usually I DON'T, because usually I like to think all this is too trivial.. no better than that I like to think it's NORMAL. In fact over the years I've come to accept a LOT of this shit to be normal, and here's why it's not. At any given moment of late I'm either laughably sleep deprived, drunk or hilariously hungover, sometimes I'm all three at once (but it's not like you could ever tell the difference). I spend most my time writing blogs. When I'm not I'm either editing up photos, video, uploading both, or I'm out again like tonight collecting yet more shit so I can write the next episode. SHIT YEAAAH! I live in a "trashed hotel room", not literally of course, but it very much resembles one. Yes I'm single. No I don't work for the CIA. It's anyone's guess how I earn a living or find the time to do so, or when I find the time to eat or sleep: because clearly I don't (because clearly I'm an eccentric billionaire!). I rarely see sunlight. I dress in neutral tones. I have two pairs of shoes, one of which I bought recently for $12.95 at an op shop. I haven't had a haircut in ten years. I have a degree in Visual Arts. I used to be a musician. I don't do this for the money, I do this for the "lifestyle". There's a damn good chance I'm completely fucking insane. Everyone here knows my name. I have a facebook fansite. No seriously.. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE!?



Of course I'm losing my shit just now, because I've come to the end of a very long journey here. For this is the LAST launch party, that I'm aware of in the Adelaide scene, for at least the next few weeks.. OOOOH FUCK YEAH!! (and please don't correct me if I'm wrong). Yup not since nine weeks ago have I escaped this perpetual feedback loop of festivals, farewells, debuts and launch parties. And yes it's been as ridiculously awesome as it's been utterly unprecedented as it's been a living hell incomprehensible. Duuude I've seen it all from Laneway Festival to The Phobias, Jay Walker & The Pedestrians, Sincerely Grizzly, Fuse Festival Explode, Fuse Ignite, Soundwave, Twee-Fest, The Crying Game, Brillig, Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire!, Ride Into The Sun, The Shiny Brights, Dance Til You Can't Say Yeah!, The Keepsakes and Booster (and wait.. wasn't I just at a wedding in the middle of this shit too!?). Yup it's been endless and unrelenting, and it's been making my head explode. DUUUDE, IT'S BEEN FUCKING RETARDED!! And now that there's just one more launch tonight, Lyla? and I'm free!? YEAAAS I'M FREE AT LAST BAAABY!! Oh yeaaah I can't wait for this night to be over. Walking in just now, "cheers for the complimentary single", I can see Lyla have their merch stand set up: t-shirts, tote bags and cigarette lighters. There's a projection screen on stage and lily lights on the drumkit. A black clad euro-trashanista scene is swanning about, drinking the bar dry of vodka and gin. They're excited, they're swooning in anticipation, I'm mad impatient and pacing the floor for it to be over. Just one more launch and I'm free? YEAAAS, LET THE SPECTACLE BEGIN!!



20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (****) myspace ::
And this is our opening act. Awesome huh? Yup, they're same band I was itching to go see last Saturday night when they played The Ed Castle only to catch The Seabellies instead (still all things considered? not a bad trade off). And as much as they're just the "sunshine burst of happiness" my psychiatrist ordered (no trust me duuude they only get more skull fuckingly brilliant the more you see them) it appears I've caught them just that little bit under the weather tonight. Hmmm. Firstly it's in the notable absence of one Andrew Marshall in the horn section, who apparently had "better things to do" and totally couldn't make it (ie: he was roped in for a wedding instead.. go figure?). So as much as Katey Sutcliffe on trumpet and French horn IS doing her utmost and then some in the spastic bullfrog department to compensate (seriously you should've seen all those "Dizzy Gillespie" shots I left out here.. hiiilarious!) she's missing just that little extra "boost" in the Vitamin C register to really push them screaming over the edge. Poo! More noticeable however is the sad state of one Larissa "Joygasm" Perry who's LITERALLY feeling under the weather thanks to the ill effects of a NAAASTY head cold. I mean you wouldn't normally think this'd make much of a difference: she's usually ever so impossibly exciteable, smashing the shit out of that tambourine, goofyarse grin, like she's a cheersquad in one gone Jesus Freak ballistic. But tonight? as much as she's putting on a brave face and STILL giving it all she's got, she's a mere shadow of her festive self. And I swear it is THE MOST HEARTBREAKINGLY SAD THING I'VE EVER SEEN, or quite possibly unintentially cute like in this photo.. awwww I know! But hey it's not all frowny faces, HELL NO!! as their songs still shine through regardless, every one of them a candy coated masterpiece. And what I appreciate the most here, besides the fact I can finally recognise all of these songs through what was previously an utterly impenetrable "rainbows and lollipops" shitstorm, is in all the little details that bring it to life. From Larissa's twee backup vocals in opening number "Misery Jane", to her twinkle toe glockenspiel intro and Jeremy Lake's 1940's swingband drumming interlude in "Keeping Up With The Jones's", to the lilting gang harmonies coupled with Larissa's buzzing melodica in "Lucky You", to the mad Carlos Santana style guitar licks of Alex Ciaravolo in "Break Like Stone" (madness I tells ya.. MADNESS!!), to Katey's exploding horn revelry in "Fireflies". I mean seriously if you're not beaming and bopping your head along by the end of it like it's an episode of The Muppet Show, then you truly have a shrivelled heart as black as coal. 20th Century Graduates. Even at "reduced" power tonight they're STILL a mad buzz that can't be beat, or to loosely quote Jeremy off his own Facebook: they're just like two chuba chups ninja fighting inside of your skull, only ten times better. Aaaah I ask you duuude, how could you possibly go wrong?

















LYLA (****1/2) myspace ::
If there's one thing our headlining act totally rocks the shit out of better than a flush toilet, it's the launch party, in fact I'm pretty sure it's the only thing they ever do AS a headliner. The rest of the time, when they don't have something new to launch? they simply disappear into all manner of obscure supports, industry showcases or into the social pages of yet another "fashion launch" (yup that's Lyla alright, they're total arse bandits for haute couture!). I mean shit can YOU remember the last time they ever played a live show outside of their head explodingly awesome launch party back in September!? OF COURSE YOU CAN'T! they're like fucking ninjas I swear! But now with the release of their brand new single "It Ain't Right" (not to be confused with their EP of the same name), they've returned to the limelight to wreak havoc with YET ANOTHER LAUNCH PARTY!? OOOH SHIT!! Yup it all starts with the stage lights dimming to a dull glimmer. There's a brief flash as the projection screen spits out an "error message" from The Waterslides (hilariously left there since they last played here back in October) and then the pre-show visual assault begin. Firstly with a test pattern, then with static, then with a befuddling sequence of black & white archive footage: the most memorable of which being a Lucky Strike ad possibly from the 1950's featuring square dancing cigarettes and a goofyarse jingle. "Huh, what!?" Then a massive LYLA logo in all caps, fills the screen as the band burst out of the shadows to attack. The crowd screams in hysterics; and it's on like fucking Jet Li. The band tear into song after song, they're rocking the shit out of each and every one of them till there's no shit left to rock. It's total "shock and awe", it's totally psychotic, and with me standing point blank to it? it's the mad theatrics that I remember the most. It's Matthew Minucci on lead: preening and prancing about like a cross between a Mick Jagger and a punch drunk 007. It's Anthony Callisto on guitar: barking, gnashing and snarling like a greyhound on a fox hunt. It's Sam "Salvatore" Bruno on bass: pulling mad shapes in the corner like a 1920's gangster film reinterpretted with puppets. It's Dave Mazzarelli on drums: a man of a thousand faces and only two drumsticks. And it's Stef "Blobby" Krcmarov pawing at his keyboard like a youtube LOLcat meme gone viral. And it's what I remember the most, simply because everything else here is pretty much a whizzing hyperspeed blur.. duuude it's a total mindfuck! It's a setlist packed with simple song titles like "Walk", "Get On", "Dig It" and "Come On". Every one of them a blitzkrieg blend of 60's Stones, Oasis, Supergrass and Jet. And five minutes after the dust's settled you'd be hard pressed to remember any of it (especially not in detail). Still as devishily nondescript as it may be, in apocalyptic scope and grandeur it's no less lethal, and the audience around me are no less enraptured in embracing it. NO SHIT!! They're shrieking and flailing like it's the end of the fucking world, the loudest of which forming a growing female fanbase known as "The Lylabirds" (aaah and such sweet ear raping "symphony" it is too!), and if any of this is starting to feel like the "last straw" in a long line of launch party piss antics totally breaking my brain in half? (pfft.. naaah, I freaking love these guys!) Lyla do have one FUCK of a trump card to win me over in the end. It's a cover of the Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Heads Will Roll". It's done like Rage Against The Machine covering The Rolling Stone's "Street Fighting Man" by way of The Prodigy. It's the most psychotically shit awesome, gang shouting, hysperspeed instrument shredding head explosion I've heard them play since "All Dressed Up (And No Release)". OOOOH FUCK!! And yes I'm absolutely kicking myself retarded that I didn't record it. Lyla. They came, they saw, they conquered, and then they simply vanished without a trace? Yup, just like fucking ninjas I swear!



















12:44AM - And that's Lyla launching their new single "It Ain't Right": the last (I hope) of a long line of launches, parties and festivals I've been buried under for the past two months!? YEAAAS! THE REIGN OF TERROR IS FINALLY OVER!! WAHOOOO!! (dear fucking gawd I hope it's over!). And as much as it wasn't necessarily the biggest, loudest or the stupidest one I've ever seen: as let's face it I've been hit with everything of late from dancing morons in bear suits, tiger suits, stage invaders, audience incursions, crowd surfer tsunamis and a riotous head explosion of shitcrazy outfits (and that's SO gotta fuck with the "bell curve" riiight?) the one clear sign that Lyla's launch party WAS the wild hooting success it so rightfully deserved to be, can be found HERE in this humble toilet sink. Yup, to think someone was so totally overwhelmed by the excitement of it all that they just couldn't "contain themselves"!? NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A STANDING OVATION!!



1:26AM - Still it's always a little ironic when you leave Jive on a Saturday night, after one fuck of a shitcrazy shindig, packed to the ceiling with hooting fans, only to be faced with THIS afterwards: twice as many nitwits lining up outside just for the fucking DJ. GUH!! Seriously how DOES that Craig Flanigan do it that ingenious baaastard!? I mean is it hypnosis? is it subliminal messaging? is he a secretly a blood sucking vampire feasting upon Adelaide's unsuspecting scensters!? I mean c'mon just look at him maaan, he's gotta be one of the undead riiight!? OH YOU FUCKING KNOW IT!!



1:27AM - Still before I could entertain the notion of going all "Van Helsing" on his arse once and for all (only to remind myself that's since he's exclusively targeting Adelaide scensters, hipster tragics and retarding Triple J drones? yeaaah fuck it he's probably doing us all a favour!). I'm interrupted by these two cocknockers. Apparently one of them just got engaged (quite possibly to the other one), or maybe they just got hilariously drunk at an engagement party they crashed through a facebook invite (pfft) either way they figured I should get a photo of them. Weird huh!? I mean is this shit normal!? or did they know I had a blog? or were they just picking me at random under the loose assumption that this photo would eventually end up on the internet anyways!? I mean seriously, who even needs to take a camera out with them anymore when you can simply "crowd source" everything now!? FUCK!! I swear shit like this totally blows my mind sometimes!



1:35AM - Either way, clearly weirded out by the whole experience, I figured I'd head to The Ed Castle next and make it a whole lot worse. YEAAAS!! And oh look is that another lineup outside!? gee I wonder if it's for another launch party. Everyone LOVES launch parties riiight? WAHOOOO!!



1:43AM - Upon bluffing my way in for free (aaaah Olivia I really don't give you nearly enough credit do I?) I briefly entertained the notion of visiting the band room. I mean shit they DID just offer us the Seabellies last week, and they were at least five kinds of skull fuckingly supreme (or more accurately four and a half stars worth), so it's probably gonna be equally as awesome this week riiight? And yup and that's just what I thought too, only to witness THIS shit instead. I'm unsure exactly what it's meant to be: whether it's Melbourne band Cosmo Black, Kicks Tornado or dare I even ask.. Beirut Bathouse!? But with curiousity clearly getting the better of me I decided I should get a closer look anyways. And I'll spare you all the grisly details of what I HEARD (believe me even I didn't want to know) but what I saw appeared to be one of the members of Adelaide hiphop outfit A Devil Amongst The Tailors (fuck I dunno.. they got played on Triple J a few times!?) jamming with a pack of jocks over a laptop. Hmmm. And yes it was just about as "awesome" as you'd half imagine it and yes it was every reason why I left this room just as soon as I got here.



But not before bumping into these two likely lunkheads: Craig Lock and Josh Moore, bass player and lead singer for The Touch. And as for WHAT they're doing here? Well apparently they only just discovered my black camouflage cargo pants, pretty much the exact same black camouflage cargo pants I always wear (and have worn for the past two and a half years now), and they suddenly thought this was THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT EVER!? Aaaah I know.. jocks huh? They truly find entertainment in the stupidest things don't they? (which is possibly WHY they're in this band room in the first place *cough*) and no Beirut Bathouse I don't mean to imply your band is stupid, or wait do I? WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I STILL DOING IN HERE!? Screw this I'm getting me a beer!



And if you're wondering just now WHY I haven't covered a single live gig by The Touch this year, short of that wacky launch party they threw here a few weeks ago (oh wait, you mean to tell me that wasn't THEM!? FUCK DAAAMN!!) I believe these photos of Josh and Craig pretty much sum it all up. Genius huh!? And to think Darren Cross (aka: that squintyarse bastard from Gerling and The E.L.F.) gets to produce their upcoming EP? Yeaaah I know, I kinda feel sorry for him too.




1:45AM - A few minutes later, or possibly a whole hour later (give or take the end of daylight savings and whichever demon dimension I might currently be residing in) I figured I'd hide out in the beer garden (ie: far FAAAR away from the band room) with Alex Ciaravolo from the 20th Century Graduates. Why? well tonight, or more accurately this morning, he's celebrating his 25th birthday. YEAAAS!! Which I think we can all agree is an event of utmost exploding awesomatude, not just because only the most brilliant and gifted of individuals are born in the month of April (and I'm not just saying that because I had MY birthday last week.. no not at all!) but also because it gives us the lame excuse, nay the proud honour, of getting him obliteratingly drunk.



However since Alex Ciaravolo has the near legendary alcohol tolerance of an HB pencil, or a twig of asparagus, we couldn't give him the WHOLE jug. I mean we learnt that lesson the HARD WAY back in November 2008, after a Lumonics gig, when he downed a full jug, went bright green like Bruce Banner and killed a few thousand people (or maybe I exaggerated that a little.. it was only half a jug). And so instead, we gave the rest of it to his brother Oliver. And like the true champion he is: it only took him three gulps, perhaps a straw and a little umbrella, to slug it all down. YEAAAS!!



3:15AM - Now obviously with all that running commentary of people drinking just now (or being otherwise hilariously retarded) clearly I wasn't putting nearly enough effort into my OWN drunken retardation (despite the fact this is clearly an outright lie and I've been drinking all along). And so instead of hitting the bar like a normal person, I thought I'd consult Naboo here to see if he had any "alternative remedies" on offer. And as luck would have it? he had JUST the thing I needed!



And yes I know what you're thinking, but despite all appearances to the contrary this ISN'T just the conventional sangra mix The Ed Castle serves up at $10 a jug from their Chemtec Brand "Senor Pablo's Love Potion" monster vat, but an extra special blend Naboo's been concocting for the past few hours using nothing but the finest "herbal" ingredients. I know! doesn't it make your intestines twist into knots JUST thinking about it!? And yet, call me crazy, but I actually had my doubts here. I mean for one: are those real lemons he's using? or is it merely lemon concentrate!? Hmmm.



But no, he assures me not only did he use real lemons, but he even threw in a whole bag of limes, five halved kiwi fruits AND an entire crushed watermelon. He also mixed in a bottle of vodka (being sure to strain the bits of broken glass first.. naturally!) as well as twelve shots of tequila and whatever was scraped out from behind that Big Buck Hunter game near the toilets. Oh and as for all those "cigarette butts"? *ahem* yeaaah clearly they're nothing of the sort, they're "crutons".



Yup it's hard to argue with a concoction this stupendously awesome. In fact so brilliantly did Naboo sell it to me just now, that I actually had to fight off Jon Wignall here just so I could get me a mad dose of it. And how could you blame him maaan after Naboo threw in an extra pack of Stuyvesant to sweeten the deal? Of course clearly it WASN'T a pack of Stuyvesant, it was merely a kumquat (or maybe a guava fruit) cunningly disguised to look at one.. but wowee were we suitably impressed!



And then before either me or Jon could decide who got dibs on it, Naboo drank the whole lot. And before you ask? yes it did only take the ambulance five minutes to arrive, yes it was a quiet ceremony, and yes Jon did score that "Scotland's For Me" t-shirt in the will.. true story I swear!



4:07AM - And so, to cut a long story short, I got drunk at Supermild instead.



Yup the life I lead here in the Adelaide scene is far from normal. Believe me I know, it's only getting weirder each week! In fact it's so far removed from normal I don't even remember what it looks like or smells like, short of those all too brief glimpses I get when I switch on the TV; and I'm pretty sure whatever the fuck this "reality" is they're selling me it ain't exactly normal either! Hmmm. So what IS then? and how do I find it? and more importantly do we even need it!? I mean do any of us lead normal lives in this hypersaturated world of social networks, ipod apps, and increasingly abstract "nine to five" office jobs: emptying one box to fill another? And normal according to who's definition? the government's? the media? a jury of our peers? Clearly such things are malleable and immaterial now, I'm way too far down the rabbithole. I know this life, I choose this life, I'm well adapted to its nocturnal environment of insanity and hilarious dysfunction, and as long as I don't get hit with yet another launch party next week? I think I'll do just fine.

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Seabellies + Booster "EP Launch Party"

:: Spoz 2:34 PM |
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