:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: JAPAM, PSYCHIC 5,
CELESTITE, and
BAD//DREEMS
:: THE BITTER DARLINGS,
DOM TRIMBOLI &
THE WIZARDS and
SPIKE THE WIZARD
:: A DAY OF CLARITY
2017 (Festival) with
SCREAMFEEDER, FAIR
MAIDEN, BATTLEHOUNDS,
LAST DAYS OF KALI,
LITTLE DUST, KORAL
& THE GOODBYE
HORSES and MANE
:: SURVIVING SHARKS
and ANGELIK
:: THE SUNDAY REEDS
(Single Launch) with
THANES, THE CLANGERS
and HANNAH FAIRLAMB
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATTONBITUS :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: BAD//DREEMS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CELESTITE :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: THE CLANGERS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DOM TRIMBOLI & THE WIZARDS :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: HANNAH FAIRLAMB :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEAPS GOOD FRIENDS :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE DUST :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! 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MORRIS SINNERS :: ST. VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STONEFIELD :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: THE SUNDAY REEDS :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSETTLER :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERPHATASS :: SURES :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWEET GOLD :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA FIRMA :: THANES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: TIERSMAN :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THEE OH SEES :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: THE TITS :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: UK SPECIAL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URTEKK :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTOLIN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WALTER MARSH :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: WASTED WANDERERS :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WILD OATS :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WOE :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX :: YANKEE MACHINE :: YEASAYER :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUR LOYAL HEARTLESS :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN ::

:: Thursday, September 30, 2010

THE SALVADORS + SMALL AFFAIRS + ALL NIGHT GIRLS
"PLUS ONE" @ THE ED CASTLE / Saturday September 25th 2010

YEAAAS!! another whizzbang night at The Ed Castle! I fucking LOVE The Ed Castle I really truly do! I love the screaming shit out of it maaan! I love it like a previously undiagnoses mental illness that ultimately gets "named after me" in some fartarse medical journal whatever-the-fuck only to be adapted into a cinematic spiritual successor to the Saw franchise rendered so eye gougingly "hilarious" (because it's secretly a slapstick comedy) no classification board in the world would ever give it the green light to screen it.. WAHOOOO!! No shit! sometimes I love The Ed Castle so damn much I want to punch something hard.. with my head, repetitively and excessively until I achieve unconsciousness and then I wake up somewhere that ISN'T The Ed Castle because THAT'S HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOOOVE THE ED CASTLE!! And yes I know it's a weird kind of "love" to express, some might even call it "ragingly sarcastic" bordering on downright psychotic in nature (and believe me that's on a good night!) but I really truly DO "love" it here maaan.. I wouldn't give it up for the world! like cigarettes, or cocaine, or heroin, or cigarettes laced with cocaine and heroin (or herpies!) or rather like being subjected to Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk" over and over in an endless loop screaming in a foetal ball for the pain to stop and ooops.. here comes the Baywatch theme? but in a really REALLY ridiculously "awesome" way I swear! AAAAHAHAHahAhAHaHAhA!! or yeaaah maybe I'm just in one of those moods tonight, and it beats me why as it's clearly totally unrelated to all the above's hysterical outburst (noooo.. that's just me having some FUN!!) just as it clearly has NOTHING to do with The Ed Castle being my very own personal version of "Groundhog Day" where every night's the same until I fucking explode and want to kill everyone.. HELL NO!! EVERY NIGHT HERE IS A SHINY NEW ADVENTURE!! no it's for slightly more "obscure and intangible reasons" than that, completely unrelated to all the hilarious writer's block and insomnia that I might have been cursed with this week (yeaaah not like you've noticed!) either way? fuck damn it's ever so awesome being back here AGAIN tonight.. HA HA HA duuude, it's gonna be the best night ever I SWEAR!!



ALL NIGHT GIRLS (****1/2)
Yup to put it "mildly" being in a live venue reviewing live bands or even at The Ed Castle for that matter (joke very much implied) is pretty much the last thing I'd ever want to be doing tonight. Thankfully I had other options cooking "just in case", so I made a little pact with myself: if ever THIS opening act did end up blowing the hind end of a horse? (or even a donkey for that matter) I could simply abandon ship and get howlingly drunk at a house party I clicked "maybe attending" to that was happening just off of Rundle Mall instead.. SCORE!! Which was a brilliant plan if ever I had one, as I could totally hit that bottle shop at Tattersall Hotel near the corner of Hindley and King William (aka: "The Little Pub Just Off Hindley Street") hit me up a carton of pale for $40 odd (bargain!) and be laughingly drunk at that party HAVING THE ABSOLUTE TIME OF MY LIFE in next to no time, with who the fuck knows who? WHO THE FUCK CARES!? because you totally wouldn't be reading shit on it.. YEAAAS!! And the very fact that I didn't do that? probably speaks more volumes in boundless praise to THIS band than anything else I could write in following. Yup this is All Night Girls, and yup they are every reason I could think of AND THEN SOME for sticking around tonight, duuude they totally blew my shit away! Chances are you've never heard of them before; just as I barely knew shit on them either. They're still quite new, this is maybe their second or third show, they don't even have a myspace, facebook or a twitter account to their name (word is they'll totally have that shit hooked up in two weeks time once they have some recordings to show for it though) but you might recognise some of their band members. Both Nick Bastiras on vocals and guitar and Mick Armstrong on bass you might recognise from guest appearances in Jimmy & The Mirrors in the past year or so, Travis Williamson on drums in everything from ...So Yeah to The Scarlet Ives (to that one off appearance in Nazz & The Red Ponies for the Triffids Tribute show back in 2008) as well as both Mick and Trav being in Unspoken Things back in the day (no really.. they totally released albums and everything!). But even more notoriously so? you might remember all three of them from Tyger Tyger. Yes.. Tyger Tyger: the most fuckoff insidious scenester viral marketing campaign (thinly disguised as a live band) ever to pummel the Adelaide scene into dribbling submission since Tony Font Show (and if you don't know who THEY WERE you clearly didn't get out nearly enough in 2006-2007). And as much as Tyger Tyger were five kinds of retardingly awesome for making outrageous twats of themselves on a live stage? (in lieu of any "artistic credibility" short of a well timed dick & fart gag) thankfully THIS band have very much gone the reverse. Yup All Night Girls are a band that deserves attention for all the RIGHT reasons: the music itself. In the simplest of terms you could think of them as the best bits of The Verve meets The Jimi Hendrix Experience; only that kinda sells them short. Nope it's more about the mad virtuouso proficiency in which they deliver their shit like it's nothing but fuck off authentic. From Nick's vocals: channeling all the rich nasal sustain of Richard Ashcroft (with all the melancholy and none of the ego) to his shredding guitar solos that reference everything from Jimi Hendrix at their most frenetic to Queens Of The Stone Age at their fuzziest. To Mick and Trav's languid rhythm section: in a slacker groove not too dissimilar to The Dandy Warhols meets Sly & The Family Stone. It's all about the nuances with this band, it's a contemplative 60's blues psychedelia vibe rich in texture, awash in reverb, weighted in well crafted songwriting that only rewards you more the more you hear of it. And as much as they do their best NOT to draw attention to themselves in performing it, preferring the music to speak for itself.. they still have no trouble drawing a crowd around them. From a whistling empty band room at the start they have a dancefloor packed by the end, they're loving the absolute shit out of it.. and hell you really can't ask for a better response than that can you? All Night Girls. They may be unassuming almost to a fault here tonight, but with shit of this calibre still drawing peeps in from far and wide!? chances are we'll be hearing all about them soon enough!












SMALL AFFAIRS (****) myspace ::
Thanks in no small part to just how surprisingly "non horse blowing" our opening act was (and perhaps the one or two beers I might've downed in between to aid me in that assessment) I feel slightly LESS like I want to kill someone here, or something, or a great many of both all at once with a few pounds of well placed C4 explosive whilst laughing hysterically (that I'd totally have ready access to too.. because yes I really AM Wile E. Coyote) which I admit is an utterly irrational feeling to have as I have nothing but LOVE for The Ed Castle no matter how many times I might end up here with nothing new to fucking write about it (duuude don't get me started.. AGAIN!!) and I should really be directing all this energy towards the much more worthwhile goal of blowing up "The Death Star" instead (aka: do I really need to tell you WHICH "live venue" I'm referring to?) but yeaaah that's really neither here or there. Either way? I'm still a little "on edge": our second act is a complete unknown to me, there's still that house party happening in Rundle Mall that I could totally blow everything off for to get obliteratingly drunk at.. and believe me if I see even a hint of a microkorg, flock of seagulls or anyone attempting the "chicken dance" to a four four beat here? (aka: "The Ed Castle Special") I could just as easily write this whole thing off as a blog about JUST the All Night Girls and EVERYONE ELSE CAN GET FUCKED!! WAAAAHAHAhAhAHahAhaHA!! (no really, don't think I won't do it either!). But that was before they hit the stage tonight, and when they did? duuude there was no way in hell I could even THINK of leaving the band room even if I tried. Yup this is Small Affairs, they're from Melbourne and tonight they're launching their second EP "Words From A Stranger" but from the ragtag "murderous" look of them all? they could just as easily be smashing windows side of stage, hurling in a few molotov cocktails and themselves headfirst into this band room and mounting a political uprising they're THAT mad gunning to be here tonight. Seriously, from the first five minutes on stage all we can see or hear of this exploding shitstorm is a lot of thrashing, gnashing, flailing and hysterical screaming.. most of it coming from their lead singer Cam Ford: who appears to get most of his insane rock posturing from the school of Michael Hutchence (only the reared by wolves feral as fuck version) but he's hardly the only one at it. Next to everyone else on stage (short of the drummer) is whizzing about like mad dodgems, throwing guitars and bass about a few shades short of a concussive head injury.. in fact it takes a good ten to fifteen minutes of witnessing this shit explode about me till I can make heads or tails on what the FUCK they actually sound like. In the simplest of terms you could figure it as a mix between 60's garage at its most volatile and 70's proto punk at its most incendiary. They mostly remind me of The Saints in that respect (and admittedly all of ONE song "I'm Stranded" that I know them for) but they also reference everything from the oldskool sounds of The Ramones, the Sex Pistols and maybe a little bit of The Stooges, mixed in with shit like The Vines and The Libertines; but only at their most howlingly incoherent (they pull a mad cover of The Rolling Stone's "Jumping Jack Flash" too!). Everything about their stage presence and performance tonight is ludicrously fuck off loud, abrasive, hyperactive and sinewy bordering on starvation. Or rather like those wacky rage zombies from 28 Days Later if ever they were given musical instruments to play with. Or rather like the sonic equivalent of a room full of mouse traps going off to a hailstorm of ping pong balls dropped from above whilst someone flicks a light switch on and off screaming "Fight Fight Fight" (they even play a few slower songs too!). And yes I do realise that a lot of what I'm saying here DOES border on ridiculously hallucinogenic (or in other words.. what's new?) but trust me they're just that kind of band. "Shock and awe" might be one way to put it, watching flailing rats explode in a microwave is possibly more apt; but I totally mean that in the best way possible. Small Affairs, no really! If you love your shit howlingly obnoxious and stabbingly angular stuffed into a small confined space? (and believe me they're totally doing wonders for me right now) then you'll totally bug out to this!













THE SALVADORS (****) myspace ::
Which brings us here to our headlining act and yeaaah.. I'm pretty much sticking around right to the very end aren't I? aaaah fuck it! But don't let my hilarious lack of "enthusiasm" here dissuade you in any way shape or form, for there are plenty of head explodingly AWESOME reasons to stick around for our final band tonight aren't there!? YOU BETCHA!! (no seriously I wrote "awesome" in all caps and everything!). Granted I can't think of many right now but at the very least they're more than welcome to a live stage for one reason: and that's because they make us feel five kinds of retardingly happy to be here. Now admittedly this might sound lame for a great many of us more discerning "indie snobs" out there who want something a little more "thought provoking" from our music: as this band ain't exactly the most fuckoff arty, integral or cutting edge act in the Adelaide scene (HA HA HA duuude don't make me laugh!). Nope they're more the blissfully white bread, vanilla, middle of the road, Sunday School "wholesome" schtick your nanna would love the shit out of (or knit a sweater for). They're ridiculously clean cut, enthusiastic and beaming with cheesyarse grins. I mean just look at their lead singer Tom Opie ferfucksake! like he's in his 20's going on 80's fumbling about the stage all "happy go lucky" with his oversized bar of soap? pfft seriously!? he's so inoffensive he's practically Fred Basset with a fucking guitar! And the band he's with? they're so running that "Vampire Weekend" thing into the ground aren't they!? (as much as there's a little bit of The Shins, The Kooks, The Beach Boys and The Patridge Family in there too). Just as they sound like ever other inoffensive easy-to-please "indie pop" band Triple J loves to thrash to within an inch of its life from Hungary Kids Of Hungary, Oh Mercy, Little Red to Yves Klein Blue (and no that's not me stifling a yawn I swear.. I SIMPLY CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!! WAHOOOO!!). Just as their single "Atacama Disco" has already been high rotated to the point of a mental illness on Triple J all last summer (just as I don't doubt they'll have a sequel THIS summer that'll be five times as annoyingly catchy.. squeeeeee!). And yet as much as we could stand here at an objective distance and find a million and one reasons to poke fun at them for this shit? it's a whole different matter when you're standing in the thick of it, front of stage, after you've had one fuck of a week and you're looking for any excuse to blow off steam.. I mean hell, they might be white bread as fuck but FUCK DAMN DO THEY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD!! And in so many ways THIS is what The Salvadors provide for us in spades tonight (and then some!). Yup with a crowd packed to the ceiling around me laughing it up (and threatening to spill over onto the stage) and a band all chipper as shit in front of me playing like a proverbial picnic full of prozac on a warm summer's day: it's damn near impossible to hate this band EVEN IF YOU TRY!! Every song of theirs is just as ridiculously infectious in "hound dog" vocals, staccato rhythms, dit dot melodies and pogo stick afrobeats as the one that comes before it. Every member of the band looks ridiculously happy to be here almost to the point you feel the inescapable urge to beat them over the head screaming with a fire extinguisher thinking that they're "pod people" all a sudden (or worse still.. Jehovah's Witnesses!?) if you weren't so caught up in the giddy euphoria of it. And yes I realise they're not exactly the "edgiest shit" happening, there's nothing all that imaginative about it, or even wildly different about anything they play and it all kinda blurs into one after a while; but who gives a flying fuck when you're mad bugging out to it like this!? not when they encapsulate everything awesome to be found in sunshine, lollipops and puppies and you pulling bucket bong after bucket bong laughing it up on a beanbag to a blissful cascade of Saturday morning cartoons they're not! and in a totally "wholesome" g-rated way too!? Yup that's The Salvadors! They might be the musical equivalent of farting in a bathtub.. but trust me they're no less satisfying because of it!














1:47AM - Feeling as if a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders; thanks to the live bands of course and completely unrelated to just how many beers I might have been consuming all night until my brain went off like a balloon pissing out air.. "pfffplplplplplpl" I briefly entertained the notion of continuing my mad celebration of all things The Ed Castle at The Ed Castle until I took one good look around me: at the front bar, the DJ booth and the bar garden outside to remind me again just how ridiculously "awesome" it was to be here and yeaaah.. I thought better to celebrate that shit elsewhere. I mean I might be brimming with all kinds of newfound "appreciation" for this shitdive again? BUT LET'S NOT GO NUTS! And so I take one last photo of the band room to signify this utterly inauspicious occassion (as much as it wasn't THIS photo: as the one I took tonight was kinda balls, so I'm using one from a few months ago) as someone casually comments in passing: "I wonder what the caption for THIS photo will be.. this place blows?" (HA HA HA seriously? what makes you think that!? I could totally party here ALL NIGHT LONG!!) and then I'm out that door.



2:27AM - With curiousity still getting the better of me I obviously had to check out that house party happening just off of Rundle Mall.. yeaaah you know the one, you probably all got an invite to it too, so much so I half suspected it was another one of those "Kate's Party" hoaxes from a few months back (if it weren't for the fact I knew both the freaks who were organising it) either way? fuck it! I was very much looking forward to the change of pace. I mean no shit it's been aaages since I've crashed a house party maaan! let alone been "facebook bombed" into attending one. I could totally see it now: it'd be just like one of those retarded scenes out of Almost Famous, me stumbling about dazed picking up random objects going "this is real.. and this is real.. and this wall here totally isn't painted hot pink!" only to jump cut to a shot of me standing on a rooftop screaming "I AM A GOLDEN GOD!!" before swan diving into the pavement below "owww fuck.. that was meant to be a swimming pool!". But yeaaah as it turns out? by the time I arrived here it'd already ended.. and all I could find to prove any of this shit even happened was this single empty sixpack container of premix Bulleit Bourbon!? OOOOH FUCK YEAH!! BEST SATURDAY NIGHT EVER!!



2:49AM - And so with no other "obvious option" available (as likely it was waaay too late to be at The Exeter and a little too early to hit up Supermild) I simply went straight back to The Ed Castle: and doesn't it just look like the hippest happening head explosion hootenanny to be at too!? WOWEEEE!! (completely unrelated to THIS photo I shot in the deadest part of the venue upstairs to signify just how whizzbang excited I was to be here of course). Yeaaah fuck it, maybe I'll set these chairs up in a pyramid and we'll take turns doing human bowling ball into it.. any takers?



2:52AM - Yup clearly I'm at a loose end here: I'm waaay too bored to deal with any of this shit right now (or in other words I'm not nearly drunk enough despite all my wishful thinking) and yet I'm weirdly compelled to stay. Which possibly explains why I'm laughing it up with these nitwits out in the beer garden. Still if it helps? Laura IS wearing a ridiculously awesome polar bear hat just now, which at the very least might explain half of these fucked up retarded photos in following..



For nothing quite entertains on a Saturday night slowly circling the proverbial plughole in every way that I'm being "sarcastic" and I'm having the time of my life! AAAAHAHahAHaHAhA!! *ahem* (yeaaah I don't buy it either) than the high brow art of "prop comedy". And to Laura's infinite credit? the minute we ran out of dumbarse photo opportunities with her polar bear hat (mostly because she wouldn't let anyone else near the hat.. you fiend!) nothing quite trumps it in the hilarity stakes than the sight of her wearing these spastically a-grade "goggle" glasses.. SCORE!!



No wait.. I stand corrected.



And then there's THIS photo which I probably could've left out.. except I'm very much enjoying the idea of either Laura or Olivia stumbling upon it, having an "adverse reaction" to it (ie: anything from screaming obscenities, attacking their computer screen with a hatchet, setting it on fire only to accidently burn their whole house down) safe in the knowledge that I have a blog read by a thousand odd people who can relentlessly poke fun at them for it, and all they can do in retaliation is charge me $12 on the door next time I go here and.. yeaaah let's just forget we even saw this.



Which possibly explains why I agreed to post THIS photo: despite how weirdly photogenic it is "no really what part of a binge drinking lifestyle blog DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!? FUUUCK!!" because Olivia might have asked me "ever so nicely" at the time and Laura might have been threatening to eviscerate a cute little bunny rabbit "bow to stern" just in case I didn't agree to it (I mean c'mon how else do you think she get that ridiculous polar bear hat? thinkgeek? ebay!? SHE'S A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH PEOPLE!! DON'T LET HER NEAR YOUR SHIT!!). But still it's such a nice photo isn't it? awww I know.. and I SO gotta get more drunk too. Supermild? duuude you totally read my mind!



3:16AM - Aaaah Supermild.. the last refuge for the damned! And for the record no matter how many times I've been here well beyond the point of sustaining a debilitating brain injury? (ie: somewhere around April 2009 I believe) it never ever gets dull for me. WHY!? because I'm usually waaay too obliterated drunk to give a flying fuck either way.. YEAAAS!! it's like the perfect system!



4:05AM - Of course I'm nowhere near THAT drunk now.. and yes it's a tad bit uncharacteristic of me, I know that, and I know I have some serious "catching up" to do. And so for the next hour I did just that, with absolutely nothing on the photographic record to show for it (and it was everything I dreamed it could be.. and SO MUCH MORE!). Still in effort to mark the passage of time: here's a cigar that I swear totally wasn't mine, that I totally wasn't smoking (seriously.. I'm just minding it for someone else who ducked off to take a whizz in the bushes!) either way? you can't go wrong with this shit when you're drinking in style can you!? nope.. GOOD *cough* TIMES!!



4:22AM - And speaking of good times that may or may not involve getting stupifyingly drunk with a few too many Cubans (or a few too many Dominicans passing themselves off as Cubans) lemme tell you about closing time at Supermild tonight. Duuude if you missed out on this shit it was like a greatest hits compilation of every reason imagineable to drink yourself blind here on a Saturday night multiplied by ten! and I'm not even being sarcastic in saying that "wait.. what? you mean to say you were being sarcastic before!? YOUUU LIE!!". No seriously! the rest of my night could've gargled the proverbial nutsack of a narwhale and gone back for seconds (and thirds) and all this would've STILL totally rocked the shit out of it! And I don't just mean Lucy here fluttering about with a furry hat just now (with attached furry mittens!? squeeeeee!) although admittedly it IS a ridiculously awesome photo in its own right. No she was merely the tip of the iceberg maaan! one in a cast of festive thousands! all contributing to the head exploding "awesomatude" that was raging unabated within these four walls tonight. No shit duuude, it's like I never wanted to leave!



Yup sometimes I feel like I'm experiencing the same night ad infinitum to the point I swear my head's gonna fucking explode and kill me; especially if I find myself covering a gig at The Ed Castle for the upteenth billionth time after a heinous week of writer's block screaming myself blind like it's Groundhog Day (duuude it's like an event horizon to a blackhole I swear! THERE'S JUST NO WAY TO ESCAPE IT!!). Except we all know that ain't true! HA HA HA my brain is perfectly fine maaan! it hasn't exploded! it hasn't imploded or spontaneously combusted, I totally keep it in a jar of formaldehyde and everything! (sometimes I even roll it in flour, egg and breadcrumbs, cook it over a slow flame and sing songs to it!). Nope every night is a shiny new adventure I swear! every night is different, subtle it may be.. but totally different! They may look the same, smell the same, sound the same, they might even start out the same with me yammering like a mental patient outside of The Ed Castle wondering why I ever agreed to this shit in the first place? but it doesn't matter how it starts, it's where it all ENDS that matters the most! For no matter how much all THIS drives me completely fucking insane? it's still a mad trip worth taking every single time!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Alarm Birds + The Sea Thieves + Hawks Of Alba

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
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