:: SPOZ's RANT ::

 
The Adelaide scene: to many of you it may be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctional splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...

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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: MAISIE, BUDDY J FRANCIS
and SAM PAGE; RICKY
ALBECK & THE BELAIR
LINE BAND (Single Launch)
w/ THE CONDOS and
MORTAL AMBITION
:: TUCKSHOP and
BRAVE MISTAKES; NIGHT
RITES and THE GENEVIEVES;
MODERN RELICS
(Single Launch) w/ THE MAX
HEADROOM; CARLA LIPPIS &
MONDO PSYCHO and BRIXX
:: SHODASHI, HEPÉ MATEH
and LIVE SLUG REACTION
:: SOYLENT GREEN,
WONDERWALLS JAM BAND
REVIVAL BAND and ADAM
PAGE; THUNDER SPEAKS
(Single Launch) w/ BREWER,
KILLING CENTRE, VERZANSKI,
NEW LIFE ODYSSEY and
MOUNTAIN SONGS
:: PIMPIN' HORUS
(Farewell Show) w/ TWITCH;
VELVET VOID, NORMAL
BEHAVIOUR and PELVIS
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
:: society intermission
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

| 11
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15
| 16
| 17 | 18 | 19 | 20
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: THE 1NE :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: THE 7.4.5. :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: A GAZILLION ANGRY MEXICANS :: A RED DAWN :: A YOUNG MAN DRESSED AS A GORILLA DRESSED AS AN OLD MAN SITS ROCKING IN A ROCKING CHAIR FOR FIFTY-SIX MINUTES AND THEN LEAVES :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: AARON THOMAS & THE HUMAN PATTERNS :: AARON THOMAS TRIO :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ABOLISHED :: ABRASKA :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACID WOLF :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM GEOFFREY COLE :: THE ADAM HIGGS FIELD SUPERCOLLIDER :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AGAPANTHER :: AIDAN J JONES :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALANA JAGT & THE MONOTREMES :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALBANY AVENUE :: ALDOUS HARDING :: ALEKSIAH :: ALEX K :: ALEX K & THE SPUTNIK SWEETHEARTS :: ALEXANDER BLACK :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALISON COPPE :: ALISON COPPE & THE JANES :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALNITAK KID :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHA STREET :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALREADY GONE :: ALRIGHT PSYCHO :: ALT. :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMENDS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: AMY SHARK :: ANCIENT DESIGN :: ANDERSON .PAAK & THE FREE NATIONALS :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW MCCUBBIN feat. MELINDA KAY :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE OK :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTI PSYCH :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANTY! :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPARITION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: THE AQUARIAN MYSTERIES :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARE YOU DRINKING COMFORTABLY? :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARIES :: ARIES FLOW :: ARIS SPEED :: ARLO COOK :: ARMITAGE SHANKS :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: ASTRO ELEVATOR :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATOMIC SISTER :: ATTONBITUS :: ATTONBITUS (SOLO) :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: AXE & THE IVORY :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABY CANDY :: BABY MO :: BABYLON BURNING :: BABYTEETH :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: THE BACKYARDERS :: BACKSEAT ROMEOS :: BAD//DREEMS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: BADBADNOTGOOD :: BADLAND CARAVAN :: THE BAIT FRIDGE :: BAKER BOY :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: BARON VON DOODIE :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BART'S NIGHTMARE :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BASTY & FRIENDS :: BASTY H :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATHAWK :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEACH LEECH :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEAR THE MAMMOTH :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: THE BEAUTIFUL MONUMENT :: BEC STEVENS :: BECCY ZAHO :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: BEE PREFECT :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: THE BELAIR LIP BOMBS :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BEND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG ROMANCE :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG SLOE :: BIG TOWN :: BIG YAWN :: BIKE WRECK :: BILLIE EILISH :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD DETECTIVE :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRDS ARE SPIES :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: BITCHSPAWN :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CHROME :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK GOLD :: THE BLACK HEART DEATH CULT :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACK STONE FROM THE SUN :: BLACKCHORDS :: BLACKPENNY :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: THE BLEEDING FLARES :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOMING :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOOD SUCKING FREAKS :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOODSTONE VILLAINS :: BLOW UP BETTY :: BLUE LUCY :: BLUE LUNACY :: BLUE SKY HOLIDAY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH :: BLUSH (SOLO) :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BONG COFFIN :: BONOBO :: BOOBY TRAP :: A BOOGIE WIT DA HOODIE :: BOOMSKULLY :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BORN LION :: BOS :: THE BOTANICALS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: BOY YOUNG :: BRAVE MISTAKES :: BREE TRANTER :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRETT LITTLEFAIR :: BREWER :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRIDGET FAHEY :: BRIDGET FAHEY & THE BONE RATTLERS :: BRILLIG :: BRIT TRUEACK :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRIXX :: BROMHAM :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUCK IT :: BUDDY J FRANCIS :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: THE BUOYS :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURJON :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: BURNING BRIDGES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BURNT FISH :: BUSHIDO :: BUSSEYS :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BUTTERFLY SPINE :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: BYSEA :: THE BYZANTINES :: C.H.O.P. ::CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CABLE TIES :: CAGEFLY :: CAL WILLIAMS JR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CAN MASTER SMASH & MOTUS COLLECTIVE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARL DOVER & 3 DEEP :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: CARLA LIPPIS & MONDO PSYCHO :: CAROLINE REID :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT LUCKY :: CAT PARTY :: CAUSING HAMMOCK :: CELESTITE :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAMP :: CHANCERY LANE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING GHOSTS :: CHASING LANA :: CHASING PHOENIX :: THE CHATS :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHEESE WORLD :: CHELSEA LEE :: CHELSEA MANOR :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINA CRISIS :: CHINA ROSES :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHRIST DISMEMBERED :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHOOSING SIDES :: CHURCH MOMS :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: THE CITY :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY FEET :: CITY RIOTS :: THE CLANGERS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLASHING PUMPKINS :: CLAY J GLADSTONE :: CLIENT LIASON :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: CLOVER :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUB LOCK :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: C.O.F.F.I.N :: CODRA NEGRA :: COERCE :: COG :: THE COLD FIELD :: COLDWAVE :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURBLIND :: COLOURBLIND DUO :: COLOURISE :: COLTER :: COLUMBUS :: CONCHILLIA :: THE CONDOS :: THE CONFESSIONALS :: CONOR DEERY :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: COPIOUS DRIBBLE :: CORPUS :: THE CORTEX SHIFT :: CORTEZ :: COSMIC FOSSIL :: COSMIC SHEPHERD :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COURTNEY BARNETT :: THE COURTNEY LOVES :: COVE STREET :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAVES :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CROSSFIRE HURRICANE :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CRYSTAL IGNITE :: CUB SCOUTS :: CUB SPORT :: CULL - THE BAND :: CURIOUS PALMS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAINTY MORSELS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DAN GASKIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANDY BUZZKILLS :: THE DANGER DOLPHINS :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: DARK DAZE :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DARTS OF PLEASURE :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAVID BLUMBERG :: DAVID BLUMBERG & THE MARABY BAND :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: THE DEAD REGULARS :: DEAD ROO :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAN FOREVER :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEATH BY CARROT :: DECOS :: DED//WESZ :: THE DEE MAJOR MYSTERY BAND :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DENTAL JAMS & EZROH :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: DESTINEZIA :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: DEVIL ELECTRIC :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIAMOND SKIES :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIETER HORVAT :: DIETER HORVAT & THE $5 MYSTERY SHOTS :: DIIV :: DILATED :: DILETTANTES :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY PAGANS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE QUARTET :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOC DISORDERS :: DOCTOR TREK IN SPACE :: DOE :: DOM TRIMBOLI & THE WIZARDS :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DON'T BRING STACEY :: DOOM POP :: DORKZ :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOWN & OUT :: DOZERS :: DR SURE'S UNUSUAL PRACTICE :: DRAINING :: DRAINING (ACOUSTIC) :: DRASTIC PARK :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: DREAM WIFE :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRESS CODE :: DREW & SEAN :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUID FLUIDS (DUO) :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S BLUES JAM BAND :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DUZZMERALDA :: DYSPORA :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EARL SWEATSHIRT :: EAST BRUNSWICK ALL GIRLS CHOIR :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECCENTRICK - FANTASY EDITION :: ECDYSIS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: THE EFFENDS :: EFFIE :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: EL COLOSSO :: EL FARINHO :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELECTRIC FIELDS :: ELECTRIC SEX PANTS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: ELENA & AIDAN CIBICH :: ELEPHANT :: ELEPHANT HIVE :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: ELK :: ELLA ION :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELLI BELLE :: THE ELLIOTT JOHNSON BAND :: EL BOTTLE O' PARADISO :: EL-P :: ELSY WAMEYO :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERAULD :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMILY DAVIS TRIO :: EMILY WYATT :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMMA JAYNE :: EMPERORS :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: THE EMPTY SLEEPS :: THE EMPTY THREATS :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENERGY ANGEL :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ER@SER DESCRIPTION :: ERIN BUKU :: ERIN MO :: ES IST SUPER :: ETHAN HUBBARD :: ETHANOL BLEND :: ETHANOL BLEND (DUO) :: EVEN :: EVERYDAY APATHY :: EXOTIC POTION COOKIES :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: THE EXPLOSIONING :: EYES MORE SKULL THAN EYES :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAFI D'ALOUR & THE DELINQUENTS :: FAIR CALL :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FATHER JOHN MISTY :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEBRUARY CLOUDS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: THE FIDDLE CHICKS :: FIGHTERPILOT :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FKA TWIGS :: FLAVELLA L'AMOUR :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FLEUR GREEN & THE KEEPERS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FLYING SQUAD DUO :: FLYYING COLOURS DUO :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FOOL'S IDOL :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANKIE SUNWAGON :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREE DRINKS :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: FULL TONE GENERATOR :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUNKY C FUNKY DO :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: G FLIP :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GALLERY ONE :: GANG OF YOUTHS :: GARDEN RUIN :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GEMMA THORNE :: GENERATION SWINE :: THE GENEVIEVES :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GEORGE GLASS :: GEORGIA NIELSEN :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GET SOME :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST THIEF :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLEN AVENTI :: GLENN OSMOND & THE FULLARTONES :: GLISK :: GLITORIS :: GLOWING :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOODBYE, MOTHER LEOPARD :: GOONBOMB :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE CUMMINGS :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: GRAFTON STREET :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: GRASSHOPPER & THE BUTTERFROGS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: GREEN CIRCLES :: GREENLEAF :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HÄGÖL :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: HANA & JESSIE-LEE'S BAD HABITS :: HANNAH FAIRLAMB :: HANNAH YATES :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARD RUBBISH :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HARTWAY :: HARVEY RUSSELL :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HAZY J & THE WASTED DAZE :: HEAPS GOOD FRIENDS :: HEARTLINE :: HEATH WEBER :: THE HEGGARTIES :: HEINOUS CRIMES :: HEKYL :: HELLO ENEMY :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELLS HOIST :: HELMET :: HENRY WILSON :: HEPÉ MATEH :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY HARRIETT :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIDDEN INTENT :: THE HIGH BEAMERS :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: HOCKEY DAD :: HOFMANN & THE COSMONAUTS :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLLY HASTINGS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FORREST :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME COURT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: HOMELY SMELLS :: THE HONEY PIES :: HONEYBEAM :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HORSE LORDS :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT MESS :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE IN THE TALL GRASS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL N' BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUBRIS :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUMPHREY B. BEAR :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUSTLE HOUSE :: HUXLEY :: THE HYDES :: HYDROMEDUSA :: I, A MAN :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, ICARUS :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IDLY BY :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSOMNICIDE :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERSECTION :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISAAC THOMAS :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S NOT A PHASE :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: THE JAY WALKERS :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK HARLON & THE DEAD CROWS :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JACKULSON :: JAMES HICKEY :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON KATSARAS :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS DAY :: JESS JOHNS :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE DAVIDSON BAND :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESSICA RAE :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: JETTISON :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JIMMYBAY :: JIMMYBAY & OLLIE KABBANI :: JODECI & SAM :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JOHNNY AMERICAN HORSE :: JOHNNY SEAGULL & THE HOT CHIPS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON ANN :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONGO BONES & THE BAREFOOT BANDITS :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOSHUA JAMES MORPHETT :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JULIETTE SEIZURE & THE TREMOR DOLLS :: JUMP OVER FENCES :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUNIOR V :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: JUST DESSERTS :: KAB SAVVY :: KACEY STEPHENSEN :: KAHL WALLIS :: KÁLI SAVILL :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KATIE BRIANNA :: KATIE MILLER :: KATIE POMERY :: KAURNA CRONIN :: THE KAVS :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: KEMP BROTHERS :: KETTERING :: KHAN :: KIAN :: KICKASS COWGIRLS :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLED BY CUPID :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KILLING CENTRE :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING JEFF & THE HOW ARE YOUS :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGS WITHIN :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KLLO :: KOI CHILD :: KOLEH :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KOSHER SALAMI :: KOTARA :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KUČKA :: KURRULTA PARK :: KURT VILE :: KYLE CHARLES HALL :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYM RÖBEY & THE DEVIL'S LETTUCE :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: L.R. MARSH :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LACHY BRUCE :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: LAST THYLACINE :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT LIES :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAUREN ABINERI :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEAD WORM :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEAF & STEM :: LEFT :: LEFT ON SEEN :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LIVE SLUG REACTION :: LEITH JAMES :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMMINGS :: LEMURIAN :: LENI :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LEX MONSERRAT :: LICKITY SPLIT :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILAC COVE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILY ROSE :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LIMB KING :: LIMBS AKIMBO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE DUST :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LLAMAGEDDON :: LLEWELLYN THOMAS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LOFTY MOUNTAIN BAND :: LOLA :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONELYSPECK :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOOCH :: LOON LAKE :: LOOPOLE :: LORDE :: LOREN KATE :: LOS PALMS :: LOST COSMONAUT :: LOST IN TRANSLATION :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUIS FARK :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LOVES :: LUCI :: LUCINDA GRACE :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUCY THE BAND :: LUCY ZOLA :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMENS :: LUMONICS :: MABIINA PARTY :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MADURA GREEN :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: THE MAGGIE PILLS :: MAGIC BONES :: MAGIC MOUNTAIN :: THE MAGNETS :: MAISIE :: MAISIE B :: MAJOR SHADE :: MAKING :: MALLRAT :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: THE MAN HIMSELF :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANNEQUIN DEATH SQUAD :: MANNIX :: MANOR :: MANSIONAIR :: MÄNTRÄ :: THE MARABY BAND :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARK CURTIS & THE FLANNELETTES :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASEGO :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: THE MATEHS :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MATT WARD DUO :: MATT WARD & THE RISING SONS :: MATT ZENGERER :: MAUVE :: THE MAX HEADROOM :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MELLOW YELLOW :: MELTON PEACH :: MEMORY CASTLES :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: THE MERCY KILLS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZA, ROACH & HOG :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICHAELA JENKE :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDDLE KIDS :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MIDNIGHT MARES :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS OHIO :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MODERN DAY RIOT :: MODERN RELICS :: MOGERLAINE :: MOLLY ROCKET :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: THE MONDAYS :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MONTES JURA :: MOODY BELLES :: THE MOON DIGITS :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: THE MORS :: THE MORS MODERN MYSTERY SEXTET :: MORTAL AMBITION :: MORTAL WOMBAT :: MOSES SUMNEY :: MOSHPIT GIRLFRIEND :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTION BELOW :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNT SELDOM :: MOUNTAIN SONGS :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: M.J. TURNER :: MR. INDUSTRY :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MULE :: MUM FRIENDS :: MUM THINKS BLUE :: MUMS FAVOURITE :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: THE MUNCH :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: THE MUSHNIKS :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY CHÉRIE :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: MYSTERY SEA CREATURE :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NANCY BATES :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NATHAN MAY :: NATHANAEL ROTHWELL :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NELD :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEON TETRA :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW LIFE ODYSSEY :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NEWGATE CROWD :: NICK MURPHY ::THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICK VULTURE :: NICKER TEENS :: NICŌ SAKŪRASŪKÉ :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIGHT RITES :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NINA MCCANN :: NIPSLIP :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO LEMMIN :: NO NO NO NO NO :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: NOCTURNAL ANIMALS :: NONA MONA :: NORMAL BEHAVIOUR :: NOT FOR HUMANS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NTH RD :: NUCLEAR FAMILY :: THE NURSERY - BABY DRAG NIGHT :: NUSEUM :: NUSSY :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: OATH OF DAMNATION :: OCEAN ALLEY :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OIL! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OKO :: OLD MATE :: OLIVER CARR'S CARR ACCIDENT :: OLIVER TREE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLIE ENGLISH :: OLLIE KABBANI :: OLLY HOLMES :: OMERTIA :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONLY OBJECTS :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: ORELIA :: ORIANE & KALIOPI :: ORPHAN OF KOS :: OSCAR THE WILD :: THE OSCILLATORS :: OSH10 :: OUTSIDE LINES :: OVERVIEW EFFECT :: OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: THE PACKETS :: PAGAN :: PAIGE RENEE COURT :: PALACE OF THE KING :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANACEA :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PAPER SNORKEL :: PAPER SUNSETS :: PARADES :: PARADISE CLUB :: PARTY :: PARTY DOZEN :: PAT THE RAT :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PAUL KELLY :: PEACH FUR :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PEANUT BUTTER CRACK BABIES :: PEARL TIZZIE :: PELVIS :: PEMBERTON :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERFECT PUSSY :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: PEST CONTROL :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: PETER COMBE :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHI THEODOROS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIERS DIPROSE :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK DUKE :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINK WASABI :: PINKISH BLU :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PIPE GUY :: PIPE GUY VS BUCK IT :: PIRATE COWBOY :: PIST IDIOTS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PITY LIPS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: PLACEMENT :: PLAGUE KEEPER :: PLANET CACTUS :: PLANET OF THE 8S :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: THE PODS INTERROBANG :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLADROIDS :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: PONYTAIL KINK :: THE POP-UPS :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: PORCHLIGHT PARADE :: PORT HONEY :: POST DEATH POST :: POWER SPRITES :: PREHISTORIC DOUCHE :: THE PRESETS :: PRESTON'S HISTORIC PUNCH & JUDY SHOW :: PRETTY UGLY :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: PROBLEMS :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PRO-TOOLS :: THE PROPHETS OF IMPENDING DOOM :: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN CRUMPETS :: PSYCHIC 5 :: PSYCHO DEREK & THE RE-ISSUES :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUBLIC HOLIDAY :: THE PUBLIC SERVANTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PURÉE :: PURITY RING :: PURR :: PUT DOWNS :: PSYCHOBABEL :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUARTZ PISTOL :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEBEC ECHO :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! 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VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STACY SAYS :: THE STAIN DRAINS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: STATE LIBRARY :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEFAN HAUK :: STELLIE :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: STICKY BEAK :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STISSED :: STOKES :: STONE EYES :: STONEFIELD :: STONEGRILL :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STORMHORSE :: STORMY-LOU :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: THE STRAIGHT-JACKET TAILORS :: STRAWBRY BLONDE :: STREET LEGAL :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: STRIPES. :: THE STRIPP :: STU DANIELS :: STURT AVENUE :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUGAR TONGUE :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: THE SUNDAY REEDS :: THE SUNDIALS :: THE SUNDIALS PODCAST :: SUNDOWNER :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSET CITIES :: SUNSETTLER :: SUNSICK DAISY :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: SUPERDOSE GANGWAY :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERGRÜÜP :: SUPERPHATASS :: SUPERSONIC TUMBLEWEED :: SURES :: SURF! TERROR! PANIC! :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAMP KITTEH :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET BLUES :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWEET GOLD :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORD IN STONE :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYCAMORE :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABLOIDS :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TANYA FROM HR :: TAPE/OFF :: TAPLEYS HILL :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: TEDDY MARS :: TEDDY MARS (SOLO) :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGE JOANS :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA AXIS :: TERRA FIRMA :: TGBRANDENBURG TRIO :: THANES :: THEE OH SEES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THIS WAY NORTH :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: THOM LION :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMA & THE HUMBUGS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THROWAWAY :: THUNDER SPEAKS :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIAN HANCOCK :: TIERSMAN :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: TIL THE BREAK :: TILES :: TILLARY :: TIM KOCH :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TIMBERWOLF :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THE TITS :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD FOGARTY :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONES AND I :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOB SCOOTS :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOUGH UNCLE :: TOWNHOUSE :: TOWNS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREEHOUSE CASINO :: TREEHOUSES :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: TRICK SHOT :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIS BEAUMONT :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TROLDHAUGEN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUE HOLIDAY :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUCKSHOP :: THE TULLAMARINES :: TULSA :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: TV THERAPY :: TWICE LICHEN :: TWIN DECOY :: TWINE :: TWITCH :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TXMX :: TY ALEXANDER :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYMPANO :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: THE UGLY KINGS :: UK SPECIAL :: UKULELE DREAM GIRL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URBAN YOUTH :: URTEKK :: USER :: UTE ROOT :: THE VAINS :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: VELVET CHASE :: VELVET SNOW :: VELVET VOID :: VENICE QUEENS :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTILATION EPISODE :: VENTOLIN :: VENTOLYN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: VERZANSKI :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLET HARLOT :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WAGONS :: WALKING WITH THIEVES :: WANDERERS :: WALTER MARSH :: THE WAR ON DRUGS :: WAR ROOM :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WAYNE'S LUMBER :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: WEEKEND RAGE :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON :: WHAT SO NOT :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WHITE SUMMER :: WILD OATS :: WILD ROCKET :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: WILLIAM LEE :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: WILLIS DRUMMOND :: WINDOW SHOPPING :: WING DEFENCE :: WINGFIELD :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: THE WINTER GYPSY TRIO :: WINTER MOON :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WITCH HUNT :: WITCH SPIT :: WOE :: WOLF & CHAIN :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLF ALICE :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: WONDERWALLS JAM BAND REVIVAL BAND :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WREN & THE RESTLESS FEW :: WREN BELLETTE TRIO :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX:: YANKEE MACHINE :: THE YARBLES :: YEASAYER :: THE YELLOW WALLPAPER :: YO :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG LIONS :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUR LOYAL HEARTLESS :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZAC EICHNER :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZEN PANDA :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN :: ZOE SALT ::

:: Thursday, April 23, 2009

THE WOOHOO REVUE + THE BEARDS + APHELION
LIVE @ THE CROWN & ANCHOR / Saturday April 18th 2009

Most nights I feel like a sniper assassin at this shit, like Sun Tzu, like a game of chess, like I can play this many moves: days, weeks, even months ahead. Like I've got it all figured out. No shit! I've been at this for three years or more now like a grizzled old war veteran, pickled and seasoned to taste. I'm everywhere and nowhere all at once; like many of you still wonder if I really exist. But you don't need to smoke my ashes many seasons hence just to figure out what really makes me tick, I'll tell you what gives me my freakish superpowers. Just like Batman I've got all the gadgets. I keep blueprints on every live venue in Adelaide. I even keep track of all those secret tunnels, pipelines and manhole covers that are rumoured to riddle this city's substructure like an express vacuum tube 24/7. When I roll into that joint, I know all the exits, I've got all the vantage points. I throw myself arse backwards into the worst firefights you have on offer just to see if can crawl out of it alive. I've studied all your methods. I keep an A-Z entymology of all your artistic expression, they're pickled in jars, they're dissected on a page. Calm like a cactus, float like a tumbleweed, I swim through your city streets, I have several networks on the go all at once telling me what's what: subscription feeds, sleeper cells, operatives in the field. I hear the voices, I see all the signs plastered on those walls, transmitted through codes. I pick through those entrails, study those flight patterns, breathe in those fumes, take in those vision quests; bugeyed babbling into the heart of the sun and I'm all the wiser for it! Sure, you may think I simply get it all from sms, emails, myspace, facebook, twitter, streetpress and word of mouth but *pfft* that's nothing but lies! I'm telepathic, prophetic and ten foot tall! (And am I sounding like the craziest fucking person alive for writing ANY of this shit just now!? OOOH HELL NO!) wait.. where the fuck am I again!?



Yup most nights I have a plan but tonight for the first time in weeks or months I swear I'm flying "blind" out there. Every once in a while you'll get hit by one of these: a media blackout, an event horizon from which no light escapes. You'll scan every available intel you'll have on hand and nothing will come up. Sure I knew about that all-ages gig at Adelaide Uni Bar. Just as I knew the one band I wanted to see: the Kytes Of Omar (short of that novelty act "Smile Island") had to cancel their set at the last minute. Sure I knew about that show at The Metro: Angelik, Toxic Shock and Kamikaze. Just as I knew that "Shannon The Cannon" from Kamikaze would surely knife me in the ribs the minute I walked through that door (as chances are she still hasn't forgiven me for that half-arsed Ricochet Pete review I wrote almost two years ago). Just as I knew Antony Of The Future and The Twentieth Century Graduates would be playing WOW! at The Ed Castle: but no one in their right mind EVER sees bands at WOW! No, these weren't options I was willing to entertain. I had "nothing". I was flying blind I swear! So with nothing else to lose, I stumble into The Crown & Anchor for the third Saturday in a row, just to see what insanity they had in store for me..



So here I am through those infamous blue bugzapper doors I'm drawn: past the pool tables, picking up a few frosty pints along the way as I make a beeline to the band room; back teeth gargling to this ecclectic gathering of instruments grazing gently on the stage before me. None of this was particularly out of the ordinary mind you: the drumkit, guitars, bass, bongos; even the blood red pentagram spray painted on that amp would be more than familiar to just about anyone who frequents the nocturnal fringes like I do. Only the names were different. Nothing about this night was planned. This is all spur of the moment. Who knows where it'll all go from here!?



Still when it comes to any freak forray into the farside of human expression (and you'll know just what I'm on about in just a few moments) it always helps to share it with a few familiar faces. Just like these three festive fools found assembled behind me tonight. From left to right we have Justin Rilling: former lead singer of Rejusa (a band I saw maybe a handful of gigs from back in 2006-2007), Captain Smashypants (aka: "Sallycat - Greens Party Candidate" and "Kitten DJ" who spins the frisbees here on occassional Fridays) and the ever infamous Emma Lou (aka: "The Welsh Midget", bohemian space tripper and freelance photographer). Sure you've likely never heard of any of these freaks either; but trust me if you got nearly as drunk as I do on a regular basis you'd know how handy it is to keep them around. Not necessarily because they'd make good organ donars (what you kidding me!? theirs would probably fail before mine do!), but more for all the beers you could potentially mooch off them if ever you run dry. Aaaah good people! Every pub should have regulars quite like these *cough* wait, who the fuck are all these people again!?



APHELION (****) myspace ::
Our opening act I've only seen once before almost two years ago. Which by any other standards of binge drinking and alcohol abuse I've been known to frequent, effectively makes this is the FIRST time I've ever seen them. This is also one of the many reasons why I can keep writing what is essentially the SAME blog hundreds of different ways, as quite frankly, every night is "shiny and new" and I officially have the attention span of a goldfish.. wait, where the fuck am I!? *cough* oh yeah, our opening act! You may recognise their lead singer Tony Rawcliffe (aka: "Tone Aphelion") as one of Crown & Anchor's many grizzled war veterans, frequently found floating about the pool tables with all those other colourful fungal forms like Scotty: former guitarist for The Black Doves, that "guy" Liam (who everyone thinks is a girl), Matt Hein (who everyone thinks is one of those trolls out of The Hobbit) and every other shaved monkey metalhead who's ever added you on myspace (I think there's at least, what, twelve of them now!?). As such Tony Rawcliffe's fame surely precedes him. Back in the day he was reknown for his throat curdling scream, and when he fronted Adelaide's iconic ear bleed "Burn The Ashes" he could kill just about anyone by flaring his nostrils and sneezing the wrong way. Since then however this cat's mellowed out quite considerably. While most metalheads of his ilk have become nothing more than cartoon caricatures; his songcraft has matured quite like that of a fine wine. Which is quite like what we hear here in Aphelion, his latest project. Essentially they're an Irish folk revelry act. Crazy I know, but throughout their ecclectic repertoire tonight you can actually hear those influences flowing right back again to darker bands who've dabbled in this territory before: like Opeth, A Perfect Circle (especially on their second album), Filter, The Tea Party and VAST and even beyond that to their celtic ancestry: expressed in nothing but strings, voice and the lightest of dappled percussion. In Tony's voice you can hear that journey, two thousand or more years of that shared ancestory, you can feel that worldly weight in his furrowed brow; even as his singing floats light as a feather. In Adrian's violin, Aaron's djembe, Coal's bass (and that extra guitarist.. name? anyone!?) you feel all four seasons, as they mark their passage in the stone circles of a world long lost to us but never forgotten. Yeah I know, you're just waiting for the punchline aren't you!? you're waiting till they bring out the panpipes? or until they bust out with that lame Enya cover.. I mean shit, didn't Peter Jackson bleed this schtick dry for all those Lord Of The Rings movies (and all three of those needless extended editions!?). But no, this ain't no reinterpretation, THIS is the real deal!















Yup, for proof of their furthering authenticity tonight: look no further than this pagan procession, this folicle throng that followed, surely answering Aphelion's clarion call with their silent unshaven presence. I mean why ELSE would they be here tonight? Hirsute hillbillies, grinning goons, all with extended growths, representatives from all four corners of this city, the furthest shopping centre carparks, bottle shops and convenience stores of outer suburbia. All here for one singular unifying purpose!? OOOOH what a facemelting spectacle it is to see them all assembled here tonight!






But then I began to suspect something else was at play here; something a whole lot stranger. Take Lee Cowan for example: former lead singer for Tony Font Show. I was pretty sure he was dead (or at the very least pulling bongs somewhere in.. I dunno Enfield!? playing a few too many rounds of Mario Kart with his buddy Rich and laughing his arse off all day). But from the looks of his "Jim Morrisson" growth alone, I'm starting to suspect his arrival here tonight (or possibly hours after the show and I'm simply slipping it in here, ever so conviently, hours earlier) actually provides yet more evidence to support the theory that every of one Adelaide's mental aslyums and looney bins have been using this pub as a "halfway house" for the last three years. But no that can't be all there is to it either, with all these other hilarious freaks around him there's gotta be more to it. Hmmm if only I could put my finger on it.. are they cannibals? lumberjacks? taxidermists!?



And here comes another one, straight out the 19th Century. Could it be none other than Charles Darwin himself?! duuuude! Look at the size of that thing too! the luxurious salt and pepper bristles? the luxurious width, girth and depth? Makes me wanna just reach out, grab it with both hands.. and clean my toilet with it! This is gotta be a sign, surely, this is the looking glass right here! If only I could put two and two together and figure out the significance: think brain, think!



Erm nope, still not getting it.. what the fuck IS this shit!?



THE BEARDS (****1/2) myspace ::
And here we have it: the punchline! Adelaide's number one "growing" phenomenon The Beards. Wow.. you didn't see THAT coming did you!? Oh of course you didn't, you're probably still off in the corner laughing hysterically chasing your own shadow because all your medication's yet to wear off (or in other words you're THIS guy). Take another look at all those photos above. Take one good look at all the photos below. And if you still don't get it, take one look at their title again and take ONE freaking guess what every single one of their songs is about!? Wait for that pin to drop.. and there we go! that's pretty much my entire review: written for the sole purpose of anyone who's ever watched a few too many episodes of Spongbob Squarepants and hasn't stopped laughing reading this review so far (hi Corey!) and now that even HE understands it.. let's move on shall we!? The Beards. On the surface they're a joke band, they're a novelty act, they're Tenacious D, only replace every single reference to "rock" with the word "beard" but believe me they're so much more! They have that iconic sound that drives every folicle of your being to sprout in support. And much as they'd love to lay claim to being influenced by everything as diverse as "ZZ Top, The Beatles (during their bearded era), Kram from Spiderbait, the bearded BeeGee, Abraham Lincoln, basically anyone with a decent beard" in actual fact (short of a massive blues influence), they actually derive a good deal of their grooves from the 80's. Think Dire Straights, Bon Jovi and The Police; throw in a saxophone, maybe even a kazoo solo and that's pretty much your monkey (just make sure it ain't a "shaved" one). Which is a little ironic considering the 80's weren't exactly known for encouraging beard growth, short of the porn moustache, and whatever the fuck was eating half of George Michael's face off (digging for "truffles" in the men's room perhaps?) but I digress. First and foremost when it comes to The Beards, you BELIEVE this shit wholeheartedly. Everything about their performance is all about The Beards. Every song repeats it like a mantra, only written a hundred different ways (the new songs are especially inspired) until everyone in the room gets it. The Beards. They're not so much a band as a political movement, a religious cult and something that makes my face itch like crazy just thinking about it; and yet as much as you'd think this "one punchline" would get tiring by now, it only gets better, bolder, and ever so beardlier everytime they perform it. It's the likeminded followers that they attract in ever larger numbers around them, it's that evangelical zeal in which they seize a stage by the throat and don't let go. Tonight there's no denying it: they killed. Everyone was undeniably in awe of the almighty power of The Beards!














Which may begin to explain this "bearded lady": which in any other live venue in Adelaide would promptly lead to a mass evacuation from out of every available orifice (or exit), followed by barstaff and security donning gasmasks and promptly shutting down the entire establishment under the pretense that it's nothing but a "gas leak" (when it's actually an E coli outbreak, vampire attack, or in the specific case of The Crown & Anchor "incidence of Dick Dale"). Only to fumigate the fuck out of the joint, give it a fresh coat of paint, throw in some shiny new light fixtures and reopen it months later as yet another, in a LONG line, of Adelaide's fashion tragic "indie dance" clubs.



Aaaaah aren't you glad I picked The Crown & Anchor tonight!?



THE WOOHOO REVUE (*****) myspace ::
Which in the most unlikely of ways (and how!) introduces our third act to the stage tonight: who quite suitably, are also one of THE most unlikely of live acts you'd ever hope to see headline a gig at The Crown & Anchor, in the history Of The Crown & Anchor, before it invariably becomes yet another "live venue" in Adelaide dedicated to nothing but nonstop DJs (ie: read any other live venue you used to frequent habitually in the last twelve months.. *cough* what!? I didn't say anything!). Oh and while we're laughably off the subject here: would you believe that violinist wore this "beard" for an entire song and a half into their set tonight!? Duuude.. I think I love them already! This is The Woohoo Revue. As much as I can tell they're from Melbourne: although I think we need to specify a "time" as well as a space, because they certaintly don't hail from THIS century, nor any other century that features a ready supply of electricity and indoor plumbing. As such, any attempts to equate them to anything I have on my ipod right now (aka: my lazy "thesaurus" tactic for describing any band as simply sounding like a combination of two to three other bands) is just about useless here. Still I could always give it a crack. If I was batshit insane enough, I'd say they sound somewhat like Danny Elfman reinterpretting System For A Down as the theme music for a series of Warner Brother's "Looney Tunes" cartoons featuring Daffy Duck being beaten repetively over the head with a giant wooden mallet, but that would be trivialising it. Let's face it, for the second time tonight I'm flying "blind" here. Thus the best way to describe The Woohoo Revue is to simply say that they're an instrumental gyspy folk band, a German oom-pah outfit, a wild-west fiddle contest and a roaring 20's swing band all rolled into one; only sped up by a factor of ten. And let me remind you again, that they're headlining THIS at The Crown & Anchor. Then suspend all further disbelief when you see just how the crowd reacts to this tonight (including myself) in a way that could only be described as "making a complete and utter dick of yourself like you've never made a complete dick of yourself before". It's impossible to describe it any other way. They started playing and every single one of us lost motor-function in every conceivable direction. It was pure insanity. It was freaking awesome! None of it made ANY sense, and yet we couldn't get enough of it. Forget that we're living in 2009 right now, this is how people lost their shit back in 1909 and in many ways I actually prefer it! The minute Rebecca Wade cocked her head ever so whimsically and tore into that violin (and in no way is it because I found her ever so impossibly cute when she played *ahem*), and Ben Charnley beat that staccato bigband rhythm? you were somewhere else completely. No shit.. the guitar, bass, saxophone and trumpet only added to the carnage! There were actual teeth marks in the ceiling. They had to carry each and every one of us away in three or four ziplock freezer bags and sawdust the floor. They played more than three encores and I swear NONE of us wanted them to leave. Fuuuck.. what a show!














1:35AM - So here we all are, twenty minutes after the show begging for more. If you can't see any of us out there, don't worry, there's actually a perfectly good reason for that. It's the same reason why nostrils are flaring from the pool tables, to the bar, to out in the streets beyond, as we scatter like a fine aerosol mist. I would also like to take this moment (and a rare one at that) to wholeheartingly thank The Crown & Anchor on two accounts. Not only for their barstaff who cleaned up what was left with the hoses and sponges in record time (wow.. it's almost beats the one they set when Kamikaze headlined back in September!), but whoever's responsible for the stage lighting here: for the last few weeks or months!? DON'T EVER CHANGE IT. It's freakingly badass, it beats almost any other stage lighting I've seen in the Adelaide CBD all year and if I could I'd marry it and have millions of hideously deformed (yet wonderfully luminescent) offspring I would. Every other live venue in Adelaide (I'm looking at YOU Rhino Room) please take note!



1:46AM - And now in no relation to any of the narrative that's been leading up to this point, here we all are, moments later, in corporeal form drinking ourselves retarded in celebration of a night of live music that was skullfuckingly awesome in every conceivably way that it should never have been. Oh and I also should note that I barely know half of these people IN this photo either (hi everyone else I've never met before in my entire life, glad to be getting drunk with ya!): as in actual fact I didn't take this photo, someone else did, they pried this camera from my cold clammy hands mere moments ago and I've been dead all this time. Awesome! Which let's face it, is just how it SHOULD be for any band I ever reward a five star rating (note: if Shannon The Cannon's reading this, it doesn't actually count towards your total score if you shoot me dead in the street BEFORE the show). Every other band in Adelaide (and Australia) again, please take note!



1:59AM - Yeah ok, clearly I'm digging myself deeper and deeper (and I might as well admit that I'm simply building lies upon lies here) because either (a) THIS is conclusive proof that I didn't just die in a freak "gyspy-folk german oom-pah wild-west swing" accident, despite everything else I might have told you tonight. And that I'm here now, alive, posing for a photo with Matt Ho: lead singer from Newtonheath (with a hat I may've "accidently" acquired moments ago from off his head) and not being picked over by a scalpel in search of a "cause of death". Or much more plausibly: a team of morticians have simply stitched me up moments after the show, gave me a quick coat of paint, propped me upright, stuffed a hat onto my "head" (to hide the hole where my brain should be) and has doctored up the rest in Photoshop. And as long as you don't begin to wonder "well ok then.. but just WHO exactly is writing this blog!?" then you should be fine.



2:37AM - This is Daniella. She's all kinds of awesome. When she's not briefly wondering "where's that weird formaldehyde smell coming from!?" and swatting swarms of insects circling around me (all of it "photoshopped" out mind you) she's also one of the key masterminds behind the Are/Why? fashion, art and design label. And if you don't know what THAT is then clearly you're an idiot, or quite possibly from interstate (and no I'd never ever imply that that's the same thing *cough*). No shit, you should see some of the junk they've cooked up, miiind blowing! Anyhoo.. clearly Daniella is blissfully unaware that she's actually having a one-way conversation with a corpse right now, because she's somehow confused what anyone else would've call gas *scuse me* with both of us actually agreeing that ME being a "fashion model" for one of her upcoming clothing lines is a really REALLY good idea, and better yet I was so hilariously drunk I TOTALLY volunteered for doing this myself (either that or CLEARLY she has a very disturbing sense of humour!?).



Oh I ain't trying to talk myself out of this insanity now that I'm sober, AM I!? OOOOH HELL NO!!



3:17AM - The fun and games continue (ie: in a fashion that many of my other friends, family and next of kin would find downright "horrifying" as they lower what's left of me in a pinewood box). I mean why can't they just let go!? I'M FREAKING DEAD PEOPLE!!? But again such trivial distinctions, as defined by medical science, are clearly meaningless at The Crown & Anchor after you've had few too many beers. Which is quite the high spirits Emma Lou appears to be in here, laughing it up with the five circling moths in my head, like she doesn't have a CARE in the world! Which is one of the many reasons (besides her ridiculously cute Welsh accent.. awwww!) for why Emma Lou is the awesomest person I've ever met in the entire Northern Hemisphere. Understandably I've met very FEW of them, but give me a thousand of your very best and the statement will still stand!



And course I'm not saying this in ANY way because I'm gonna miss her horribly when she takes her extended "bohemian leave of absence" to her next colourful destination around the world: quite possibly New Zealand? Canada? Tahiti? Antarctica? fuck I dunno.. Uzbekistan!? when she leaves us all on a plane on Wednesday. DAMN YOU!! *sniff* no seriously, pleaaase take me with you!?



3:19AM - And then just like any other night before it or quite like THIS night now where you'll find yourself drinking it up at the bar to farewell both Emma Lou *sniff* and someone else who for "legal reasons" I should never mention in this blog (as Chelsea hates it everytime I crack this joke), only to have your potentially "sentimental" moment farted on by one "Sausage Fingers" here.



3:20AM - Of course "Sausage Fingers" doesn't always have to be an actual physical entity. He doesn't always have to be roughly six to seven feet tall, exceedingly drunk in ways that only a Bugs Bunny cartoon could do justice to, with a "speaking voice" best described as "Borat burps out the entire English alphabet". Sometimes "Sausage Fingers" is just a metaphor for that happy hour between the fifth and sixth beer you've drunk (where everything's a swank cocktail party) and anywhere beyond that (where all a sudden that "batshit insane idea" of simulating wild sexual intercourse with one of the Rundle Mall bronze pigs sounds like one of the most hilariously awesome facebook photo stunts EVER). What's this got to do with the actual Sausage Fingers here tonight!? oh *cough* nothing at all!



3:22AM - Which in no way forming a segue in any way shape or form, brings us to THIS hilarious freak here. This is "Dave". And yes I'm pretty certain that's his actual name, although if I didn't take pains to jot it down in my phone (ie: "that dude in the white shirt? enormous nostrils? Dave.. REMEMBER THAT SHIT!") then there's a good chance I would've totally forgotten who the fuck he was, just like the fifty other times I've met him drunk in the past (I kid you not he reminded me of that hilarious fact again tonight, whilst I was DRUNK). Oh and would you also believe he's read this blog regularly since 2006 and surprisingly hasn't suffered one single full blown aneurysm in all that time from attempting to decipher all my gibberish? I KNOW!! I was more than impressed too..



3:26AM - So much so that if I ever I feel the need to send in a revolutionary army into Fiji and take absolute control for myself (I mean let's face it.. that's pretty much everyone's dream) then he'd definitely be the first (or quite possibly the fifth) person I'd choose to install as my "puppet president" for public appearances. No shit just LOOK at that face.. that shit spells integrity!



3:49AM - Thus in following we both plotted an ingenious plan to invade Supermild. I was going to walk it down there, gaining favour with the people I met along the way, build myself an army of faithful foot soldiers, y'know.. do it "oldskool". But Dave wanted none of that shit, his method? ditch the infantry assault, hit them up with a blitzkrieg by air and by sea, with overwhelming arms superiority, and then parachute in at our own leisure when they've all surrended. Or scratching that maybe we'd just catch a taxi there because clearly that's the FIRST thing we ever thought of..



4:18AM - Wow, it's amazing how easy that shit was! We didn't even have to kill a single person to breach those defenses. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, the blond bouncer at the door simply smiled, drew a silly squiggle on our wrists, and waved us in? We didn't even have to line up!? Clearly the people here have accepted us as their "liberators".. free longneck beers for all!



4:23AM - I take a few moments to soak in that sweet sweet smell of victory. Surveying this tiny hamlet that I now had absolute dominion over. And here I am out in the beer garden doing a bit of "meet and great" with my smiling subjects, who look simply OVERJOYED for me to be here! No shit this'll be just like when the US army swept into Iraq, no wait.. this'll be just like when the US army swept into Afghanistan, no wait.. this'll be just like, wait.. did they EVER get that shit right!?



4:38AM - Yup, there's no doubt about it, these will truly our "salad days" here in Supermild tonight. There will be no cynicism, no sarcasm, no double speak and definitely no fear. It'll be unanimous, everyone will believe our hideous invasion to be the best thing that EVER happened here, they will believe it because they know it to be true.. YEAAAS!! VIVA LA SPOZIKSTAN!! I know you can't see them waving their teeny tiny flags we gave them.. but that's pure patriotic pride!



4:39AM - This is a photo of Julia Morris.. awesome isn't it? Yeah I know, that's pretty much all I've got left at this point. I was gonna make some hilarious joke that somehow tied this "say no evil" schtick she's expressing here into whatever hilarious gibberish I've been babbling on about in the last few paragraphs: about a totalitarian regime that's apparently run by some freak with oversized sinuses and some other douchebag that was CLEARLY declared dead a few hours ago (what you thought I forgot all that!?) only for me to since lose track of what the fuck I was on about..



4:41AM - You may briefly wonder out loud, especially at the tail end of this tall tale I've told "but Spoz.. why write all this insane gibberish in the first place!? can't you tell us what you actually DID in Supermild tonight!?". Yeah I wish it really could be that simple, except that after drinking myself beyond the point which Matt Hein looked "drunk" and started to look "weirdly attractive(!?)" hours earlier at the Crown & Anchor (which might I add is usually considered a lethal dose in most medical text books) I can't for the life of me remember a single thing of what the fuck I did here. Might I also add, once again, I don't know who the FUCK half of these people are. No shit.. ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a D-grade celebrity without ever actually accomplishing anything!? Simply write a hilariously ill conceived blog based solely on how much you've had to drink every week, thinly disguised as a running commentary on the "Adelaide music scene", then stumble into Supermild at the end of the night cashing in like a conquering hero.. YEAAAS!!



4:44AM - And THERE we have it, the one sign I was looking for at the end of the night, to snap me back into reality and tell me in no uncertain terms that I should get the FUCK out of here by the quickest means possible (possibly with a jetpack of some sorts!?) before the entire crowd at Supermild turns on me and tears me apart limb from limb. Thanks Dave, I needed that, I really did! Oh and what do you use to trim those nasal hairs of those!? a ceiling fan!? faaantastic!!



And so, as I run screaming into the beer garden, strap myself into one of those chairs and attempt to achieve "lift off" over that brushwood fence (only to actually achieve what most eye-witness reports would later describe as "douchebag attempts to light his own fart, accidently sets fire to his own face, only to slam head first into the glass pit; achieves unconsciousness") we bid farewell to a night that admittedly had NO plans to begin with, and had even less in the genius implementation of it, but rather predictably lead me to the exact same spot it always does. Which, when all else is said and done is a pretty damn sweet place to be. I might not be able to feel the left side of my face and both my eyebrows might be missing; but this night was nothing but a wild success!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Jimmy & The Mirrors + Colonel Kernel

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
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