The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
AT LONG LAST.. A BLOG ABOUT BUSTER FIDEZ! LIVE @ THE METRO / Friday February 12th 2010
Back a month or so ago when I was posting all those ridiculously convoluted installments of "The Second Annual Spoz's Rant Awards" to the amusement of likely next to no one (aaaah good times!) someone left me an "anonymous" blog comment criticising me for only ever covering "the same five or six bands at the same two or three venues" all the fucking time. OUCH! And as much as I can't show you that exact comment now to clarify or otherwise ridicule them mercilessly (since my former comment provider haloscan conveniently "kicked the bucket" on February 4th, taking with it all my thousands of comments.. you baaastards!), I can confirm to you now that yes they're ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Every time I've ever published a blog here on Spoz's Rant it's only ever been about the same five or six bands. I SHIT YOU NOT! No.. no.. don't go looking at me like that, it's totally TRUE I swear! All I ever talk about here is Like Leaves, Steering By Stars, 20th Century Graduates, Cheer Advisory Council, Humble Bee, The Honey Pies and The Keepsakes (wait.. isn't that seven!?). I do the exact same "victory lap" from Jive, The Grace Emily to The Ed Castle (and how can we forget Supermild!?). And ALL OTHER EVIDENCE you've ever see to the contrary is a total fucking lie! No shit! It's all done with paddlepop sticks, pipe cleaners and smoke machines over in that abandoned TV station that used to house Channel Seven down Gilberton way (yeah you know the one: where all the pimps, prostitutes and junkies hang out now!?). I'm a total fraud, I'm NOT a gonzo journalist, I've never been one duuude.. I'm like two steps (at best) removed from all those fuckwits on youtube who continually post inflammatory comments linking your shit to Nazi Germany or Stalinist Russia (or calling your mother a crackwhore), even if it's just a newborn panda making cute gurgling sounds. I'M THAT FUCKED UP!! I mean, take "Buster Fidez" here for example..
WHO!? Exactly! Back a year or two ago (October 3rd 2008 to be precise) they made the cataclysmic mistake of bribing me with "free beer" under the laughable pretense that I'd go see them live (like maybe in the next few weeks or so) and maybe even feature them in this blog while I was at it (AAAAHAHAhaHAhAHA I know.. people make the most STUPID requests don't they!?). However, since I only ever review the same five or six bands around here (or is that seven?) I never actually got around to seeing them. Ooops! Yup, just like I've never seen all manner of other awesome Adelaide acts who through no fault of their own don't feature Ben Revi in their lineup, or that other dude who looks like Naboo out of The Mighty Boosh, or have ever played a gig at The Ed Castle (isn't that right The British Robots!?). Yup, the fact is I'm an awful excuse for a "human being" (even more so when I'm on the piss.. tee hee!) and it's about time I did something about it! And so instead of blowing this whole night off for "work related" reasons (HA!) like I was originally planning on doing (as clearly it had nothing to do with all sixteen bands I DIDN'T review last week, which you totally didn't read about, all invariably driving me to the brink of insanity) I figured I'd FINALLY make good on that "promise" forged in free beer oh so long ago, and go see Buster Fidez live at The Metro. I mean shit, what's the worst thing that could possibly happen!?
BUSTER FIDEZ (**1/2) myspace :: Yup, dumb fucking question! For not only are they making their first ever live appearance on Spoz's Rant: which as we all know provides nothing but "wildly positive contribution" for ANY band involved (isn't that right Jupiter Le...? oh wait, I think we already get that joke) they're also the ONLY band featuring in this episode thanks in no small part to my original plan of wanting to "blow the whole night off" (ie: see every other slackarse weekend I did from October to December last year thanks to a raging bout of "writer's block"). Only to change that plan at the very last minute when I came up with the even better plan of blowing the whole night off EXCEPT for this band (or in other words: I totally couldn't find a new release movie screening at Palace Nova that I'd rather be seeing instead.. HA!!). So instead of telling you all about our opening act Red Apparition (formerly PostDeathPost) and their skull fuckingly sublime cover of Portishead's "Roads", or whatever the fuck Alpen did in their headlining slot (fuck I dunno.. something like this!?), we're focusing the magnifying glass squarely on this band and THIS BAND ALONE (and no that's NOT the sound of "ants popping" you're hearing, that's just the complimentary popcorn!). Yup it's their shining moment in the sun (excuse the pun), they've already bribed me with ANOTHER free beer tonight (aaaah SO naive!) SO LET'S PUT THEM OUT OF THEIR MISERY SHALL WE!? Yup Buster Fidez are in short, are one of the more laughably bizarre bands I've ever seen. And by "laughably bizarre" I clearly mean thanks to their oddly ecclectic range of musical influences that could (at best) be described as "wilfully dyslexic". Imagine if you will a "pub rock" mix between The Whitlams, Ben Folds Five, Dire Straights, Hunters & Collectors, Pearl Jam (wait.. what!?) and what I could've sworn were elements ripped straight out of John Farnham's "Whispering Jack" album. And if you're currently holding your head up high with a tissue clamped to your nose to stop your "brain from leaking", you're not the only one! There's also the matter of their bass player: Ian Newton. Hell of a guy, plays a mean bass, pulls mad shapes, not doubting his rubberband dynamic for a second.. it's just that I can't help but think "Doc" Emmett Brown: the mad scientist from Back To The Future, and then a song comes along that bears an all too eerie resemblance to "The Power Of Love" by Huey Lewis & The News, and then my whole head explodes! Then there's their guitarist: Andrew Cuffley, like the musical equivalent of putting fried egg and beetroot in a burger or asparagus on a pizza.. almost every one of his chord progression (especially in his fucked up solos) sounds ever so slightly wrong with all the shitcrazy effects pedals clashing, yet it's thrashed with such fanatical fervour it almost starts to make sense! And then there's their singer and their keyboardist, Matt Oliver and Ben Johns respectively (who I swore were brothers if it weren't for the fact they're both sporting different last names) covering everything from heavy handed "honky tonk blues", "80's emo power ballad", to "spastic wacky gypsy shred". And don't even get me started with the drummer! Yup in short, almost everything about Buster Fidez clashes worse than the fashion decor found in a 70's Vegas casino (and that's not just the shirts they're wearing). They're a mad jumble: smashing square blocks into round holes, an over enthusiastic symphony in stylistic dissonance. And yet the more "WRONG" they sound? in that totally counterintuitive way that only they (and perhaps film director Oliver Stone) could possibly ever get away with, the more they start to sound like a whole lot of "RIGHT". Yup that's Buster Fidez. They might be a complete and utter headfuck but I dare say the more you hear of them, they more they might just grow on you!
And as much as you MAY be thinking I merely tacked on that "happy ending" just now simply to placate their "fragile egos".. because hell they HAVE been bribing me all those free beers to write this review ferfucksake (me easily corruptible!? pfft.. NEVER!!) I'm not shitting you duuude, these idiots really DO grow on you! For indesputable evidence look no further than the rapturous audience here: packing out the band room, whooping up a storm. I mean sure Buster Fidez might not have rehearsed for over three weeks (and it shows!), and the whole "Stockholm Syndrome" is yet to hit ME (aaany minute now), but just look at them all out maaan.. they can't get enough of this shit! In couples ballroom dancing, in their own little world shrieking, flailing and laughing, it's truly a sight for sore eyes! And they're not even launching an EP or anything? WHODATHUNKIT!?
12:33AM - Yup it's been one helluva night! All the mischief, malarky and hilarious hijinx I got upto tonight would truly blow your mind.. BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND! Just like this non descript photo of a supermarket trolley stranded near a pedestrian light somewhere in suburbia a little past midnight now CLEARLY doesn't indicate otherwise. Smell that? OOOOH YEAH, that's excitement!
Yup rest assured peeps, the floodgates are open! Anyone and everyone is a target this year, NO ONE IS SAFE!! No matter where you run, no matter where you try and hide, even if you take shelter in Rhino Room or Rocket Bar (or yeaaah on second thoughts, perhaps not) I will hunt you down with a fiery vengeance! I will stalk you with a burning zeal that knows no bounds! Yes, even you The British Robots.. EVEN YOU! Then I'll totally badger someone pleading for a door spot, take a few nice photos, post a live video to youtube and possibly POSSIBLY even write something whimsical and "constructive" about you and your band *cough* YES!! TAKE THAT YOU FUCKS!! AAAAHAhAhAHAhahahAhA!! I'M OUTTA CONTROL!! Spoz's Rant: it's not just me making jokes about Ben Revi no more.. OOOH FUCK NO!! In 2010 I'm taking this shit to whole *NEW level!