:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN
CRUMPETS, JUNGLE
CITY and SOMNIUM
:: LITTLE CAPTAIN,
OLLIE ENGLISH
and PANACEA
:: YOUNG OFFENDERS
(Single Launch) with
THE BROTHERS GOON
and SWEET GOLD
:: Holy Land Festival 2017
with NICK OLIVERI,
LOST COSMONAUT,
FILTHY LUCRE, GLASS
SKIES, DIRTY WOLVES,
A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS,
THE TITS, RAT TA'MANGO,
MOONHUNTER and YOUR
LOYAL HEARTLESS
:: "BENDER IN
THE BEER GARDEN"
with GREAT GABLE,
ATTILA MY HONEY,
CHINESE NEW YEAR,
BERMUDA BAY and
THE ROYAL GALA
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATTONBITUS :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BAD//DREEMS :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OLD MATE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLIE ENGLISH :: OLLY HOLMES :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONLY OBJECTS :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: ORELIA :: THE OSCILLATORS :: OSH10 :: OVERVIEW EFFECT :: OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: PAIGE RENEE COURT :: PALACE OF THE KING :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANACEA :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PARADES :: PARTY :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERFECT PUSSY :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: PETER COMBE :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: PONYTAIL KINK :: THE POP-UPS :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: PORCHLIGHT PARADE :: POST DEATH POST :: THE PRESETS :: PRESTON'S HISTORIC PUNCH & JUDY SHOW :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: PROBLEMS :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PRO-TOOLS :: THE PROPHETS OF IMPENDING DOOM :: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN CRUMPETS :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PURITY RING :: PUT DOWNS :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: RACHEL CEARNS :: RACHEL CEARNS & THE VALKYRIES :: RADIANT CITY :: RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! :: RADIO STAR :: RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE :: THE RAGING POPULATION :: RAINDROP :: RAPID TRANSPORT :: THE RAPTURE :: RAT TA'MANGO :: RAUCOUSTRA :: RAURY :: THE RAVEONETTES :: THE READYMADES :: REALIST FEW :: REALM :: RED APPARITION :: RED COATS :: RED DESERT OCEAN :: THE RED EARTH BLUES BAND :: RED INK :: THE RED PAINTINGS :: RED SEA :: THE RED SUN BAND :: REGULAR JOHN :: REGURGITATOR :: RELYING ON LUCK :: REJUSA :: THE REMEMBERZ :: RENDEZVOUS WITH RAMA :: THE REPROBETTES :: REPTILES :: RICH DAVIES & AYLEEN O'HANLON :: RICHARD IN YOUR MIND :: RICOCHET PETE :: RIDE INTO THE SUN :: RIN MCARDLE :: RIN & THE RECKLESS :: RINCON :: RINGO STALIN :: RIOT RUNNERS :: RISEMANN :: RITES WILD :: RIVER OF SNAKES :: ROBOTOSAURUS :: ROCKET SCIENCE :: THE ROCKETEERS :: ROGER THAT :: ROGUE ROMANTIC :: THE ROLLERCANES :: RON THE OX :: THE ROOFTOPS :: ROOK :: RORY O'CONNOR :: ROSS DE CHENE HURRICANES :: ROTE MARE :: ROYAL BLOOD :: THE ROYAL GALA :: ROYAL HEADACHE :: THE RUBENS :: RULE OF THIRDS :: THE RULES :: RUN THE JEWELS :: RUNNING WITH HORSES :: RUNZELSTIRM & GURGLESTOCK :: RUSSIA :: RUSSIAN TEAMMATE :: RYAN MEEKING & THE FEW :: RYAN OLIVER :: SAILMAKER :: SAILORS AND SWINE :: SAINT HUCK :: THE SALVADORS :: SAM WOOLFORD :: SAMPA THE GREAT :: SAN CISCO :: SARAH BLASKO :: SARAH CHADWICK :: SASHA MARCH :: SASHA MARSH & THE DAWNHORSE :: SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS :: SATIN HAREM :: SAUL WILLIAMS :: SAVAGES :: SAVING SAVANAH :: THE SCARE :: THE SCARLET IVES :: SCHOOL OF RADIANT LIVING :: SCREAMING GIBBON :: THE SEA THIEVES :: SEA URCHIN & ALLIES :: SEABELLIES :: SEAMUS ANTHONY :: SEAN DESMOND :: SEAN KEMP :: SECRETS IN SCALE :: SEEKAE :: SERENDIPITY :: THE SERRA :: SEVENTEEN FIFTY SEVEN :: SEX ON TOAST :: SEX WIZARD :: SEX UNCLE :: SEXUAL DAD :: THE SHADOW LEAGUE :: SHADOWQUEEN :: THE SHAKE UP :: SHAMAN SON :: SHAME SPIRAL :: THE SHAOLIN AFRONAUTS :: SHAPES DIVIDE :: SHARK IN THE DARK :: SHE SAID YOU :: SHE'S THE BAND :: SHILOH :: THE SHINE :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS :: SHIVERS :: SHOJI HANO :: SIAMESE :: SIANNA LEE :: SIDEWALKS :: S.I.G.I.T. :: SILENT DUCK :: THE SILENTS :: SIMON & JENNY :: SIMON ABERLE :: SIN CITY :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY :: SIR GERBIL :: SISTER ROSE :: SITARA :: SKELETONS :: SKIES :: SKIPPING GIRL VINEGAR :: SKYBOMBERS :: SKYTHIEF :: SKYE HARBOUR :: SLAMAGOTCHI :: SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY :: SLEEP PARADE :: SLEEPTALKER :: THE SLEEPY JACKSON :: SLICK ARNOLD :: SLINGSHOT DRAGSTER :: THE SLOE RUIN :: SLY HATS :: SMALL AFFAIRS :: SMASHING PUMPKINS :: SMILE :: THE SMITH STREET BAND :: SNAKADAKTAL :: SNAP TO ZERO :: THE SNOWDROPPERS :: SNOWMAN :: ...SO YEAH :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE :: SOJOURN :: SOMNIUM (2016) :: SOMMNIUM (2007) :: SONATINE :: SONIC DEATH MONKEY :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SOURSOP :: SOUTH FROM SOMEWHERE :: SOUTHPOOR :: SPANK ROCK :: SPARKSPITTER :: SPARTAK :: SPECIAL PATROL :: SPEED MACHINE :: SPILT CITIES :: SPINDICKLE :: SPINE :: THE SPIRES :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: ST. VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STONEFIELD :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSETTLER :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERPHATASS :: SURES :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWEET GOLD :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA FIRMA :: THANES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: TIERSMAN :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THEE OH SEES :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: THE TITS :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: UK SPECIAL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URTEKK :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTOLIN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WALTER MARSH :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: WASTED WANDERERS :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WILD OATS :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WOE :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX :: YANKEE MACHINE :: YEASAYER :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUR LOYAL HEARTLESS :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN ::

:: Monday, December 29, 2008

THE FIRST ANNUAL SPOZ'S RANT AWARDS
ADELAIDE MUSIC SCENE / January - December 2008

2008. Maaan what a fucked up year we've had! It had everything you could ever ask for out of a lifetime: twelve months, four seasons, sun, wind, fire, rain, rivers of blood, locust plagues, flaming meteorites, planes falling out of the sky, dogs and cats fornicating in the street, hailstones the size of toilet seats smashing through bedroom windows; the end of life as we know it. YEAAS! Sure this shit seems to happen every year of late: what with all that global warming, international terrorism, overpopulation, rising oil prices and the ever imminent threat that any day now we'll reach a technological singularity, some emergent AI out there is going to reach self awareness, and we'll be gargling in cream of mushroom clouds before you can say "apocalypse wow!". But this year gave us SO much more!! Who could forget that moment when Steve Urkel won the US election back in November? or when every stockmarket on Earth crashed all at once in October!? or when they fired up the Large Hadron Supercollider and most of Luxemburg disappeared back in September!? or the return of Britney Spears!? hooooly shit! Forget all those pissy little Chinese curses you keep hearing about "living in interesting times", Nostradamus, the Book Of Revelations, or whatever CNN is screaming about of late; what we're barking upto our pits and nips in THIS year is a whole new level of the insane! 2008!? Fuck I feel excited to be alive! So what better time than now, as we reach the end of yet another year where we've failed to obliterate our entire species off the face of the map (but not through any lack of trying) that we celebrate it all with yet another incredibly lame "best of" episode. FUCK YES!! You've read a million like it before, and now you're about to read another! One whole year, 12 months, fifty two weeks and 366 days of awesomness distilled through 205 live bands and 110 episodes of drunken debauchery that represents the very best (and worst) of what the Adelaide music scene has to offer!? Oh yes kiddies: welcome to The First Annual (and quite possibly last) Spoz's Rant Awards!



PART ONE: THE SCENESTER AWARDS
Ok I admit, originally I intended for all of this shit to be a singular self contained episode. However, about two thirds into writing all this shit up, and somewhere past the hour of 2AM on New Year's Eve cursing and swearing (and wondering just what the fuck kinda insanity I'd chosen to unleash upon myself) it eventually dawned on me that maybe the best strategy to employ here would NOT be for me to subsequently bleed out of both my eye sockets and collapse dead; but maybe I should split this entire awards ceremony up into three distinct parts instead and release one per day (or y'know.. for however long it actually takes to get all this shit out). Eventually you'll get the whole picture, it'll be nothing short of freaking epic, it'll be a celebration of everything that was head explodingly awesome about the Adelaide music scene in 2008; you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll pee a little, you'll thank me when it's over! Thus we present Part One: devoted to "The Scenester Awards". And yes clearly on the scale of everything you're about to read in Parts Two and Three: THIS is by far the most important one and clearly I'm not leaving all the best till last (oh hell no.. not in the slightest!). So without further ado, fuckit.. let us present our first award!



PHOTOGENIC FUCKWIT OF THE YEAR
It all starts with social pics. You've seen them all before. They're everywhere. Every publication under the sun covering a social scene: whether they be in print or online rely upon these grinning fools (in various states of drunk, munted, demented or depraved) to provide a popular "front" to their dubious endeavours. As let's face it: nobody gives a fuck about the music scene, the bands, or any of this other shit you may otherwise be pretending to talk about; oh no, they just want to see photos of themselves! In groups of three to four, smiling, waving, holding their glasses up high and toasting to their own innate awesomeness they'll make your shit look equally awesome by lame association. It's what everyone comes for, everyone's feeding into their own ego, we all know its a sham, who the fuck are we kidding? Still for all the blank faces that you'll invariably find staring back at you whenever "they" scream for a photo op (which you'll invariably delete soon after), you'll also find those chance individuals amongst them that excells at it. Ones who make the social pic into an artform all of its own. This is what Spoz's Rant loves to celebrate above all else in the social pic. Scarier still, some willfully pursue careers in it. Thus we present this evening's first auspicious award devoted to just such a rarefied few: the Photogenic Fuckwit Of The Year..



WINNER(S) - JOE BLOGS and NICK HADLEY
In 2008, there were oh so MANY worthy recipients to such a dubious honour (which may begin to explain why this category is so needlessly extensive). But above all others who hoped to claim this award for themselves, stood two proud individuals: Joe Blogs and Nick Hadley. Between the both of them and their tireless devotion to making complete and utter dicks of themselves, they dragged this website to brand new lows in their pursuit of the ultimate "social pic"; and I salute them equally in following. The first half of 2008 clearly belonged to Joe Blogs. Already a "winner" in both 2006 and 2007 (in every sarcastic definition of the word) and a cunning stuntsman of the blogging arts in his own right, we were never quite too sure WHAT the fuck he was thinking with any of the shit he pulled on camera (or whether he was thinking at all); but we're ever so proud of his accomplishments all the same. His freakish ability to pull the weirdest shapes, his masterful use of found objects, his ability to work available lighting, location, and the occassional unwitting bystander made his work in "Photographic Fuckwittery" unparalleled in the first half of 2008.







And being a true artist in the asinine, he didn't just limit himself to the photographic arts either but also excelled in moving pictures as well. For instance: how could we possibly forget THIS befuddling performance piece he provided for Spoz's Rant back in March? where right in the thick of the 14 day heatwave, we found him shambling about Union Street drunk as a "t-shirt zombie"..



Or his encore performance a few weeks later in Hungry Jacks, where his brilliant show stopping performance not only killed me in the capturing of it, but soon drew passerbys from far and wide clamouring to be a part in it. We didn't ask for this, but we soon had a collaborative performance here. Such was the genius of Joe Blogs. He was a photographic fuckwit we could all be part of. Sure he never seemed to REMEMBER doing any of this shit the next day; but just look at him go! YEAAS! Take a bow Joe Blogs, you are truly one of the very best that 2008 had to offer us!



Which brings us to our second proud recipient of the "Photographic Fuckwit Of The Year". For no sooner had Joe Blogs wowed us all with his theatrical finesse, that we were soon blessed with the equally incoherent performance art of one Nick Hadley. Such brilliance, such ripe madness, such full frontal retardation! Whether this insane tag-team arrangement was truly by design, or quite by accident: as much as Joe Blogs dominated the first half of 2008, the minute he disappeared into the background, Nick Hadley would soon appear to dominate the second half. You may know him as the drummer for Adelaide punk band "Dead Popes Of The Vatican"; but for most of the second half of 2008 you likely remember him for all the wrong reasons instead. As without fail, whenever you were foolish enough to step foot into the Bull & Bear on a night of "Transmission", into Jive on a night of "Gosh!" or just about anywhere else past the seventh or eight beer, you'd find him out there. Flapping his arms, pulling faces, jumping on tables, pulling mad shapes: he was a lankyarse spider monkey that defied all measure of gravity that would hope to contain him.







And yet just like the infamous Joe Blogs before him, his performances weren't limited to photography arts either but would also extend into ever more ridiculous video extremes. Watch as he sprawls himself halfway up a window this one night in December in the hope I'd nail that ONE shot, as my camera continually and conveniently "fails" to capture the moment. Awesome! Sure we tricked him, sure he didn't know he was being filmed at the time (and if only me and Lynda didn't piss ourselves laughing we could've easily kept this shit going for another three minutes) but it's genius all the same! Oh yes! For your tireless service in fucking up social pics wherever you went (and making this website ever more entertaining in following) Nick Hadley we salute you!



NOMINATED - ROSS OSMON
Of course it doesn't begin and end there.. OOOH FUCK NO! There were many more individuals who; whether wittingly, unwittingly (or utterly twatted out of their skulls) made their indelible mark on Spoz's Rant. Who could forget Ross Osmon here, aka: Transmission's "Ross Ross Ross" and the bewildering array of mad shapes and insane facials he'd pull by the decks anytime I'd happen to train a camera on him!? YES! This is truly what all social pics everywhere should aspire to!






NOMINATED - DICK DALE
And since we're clearly running in NO short supply in these freaks (aaah fuck I love the work I do for this website sometimes) all credit also goes to one Dick Dale (from Adelaide's infamous punk band Kamikaze) for pulling THIS fucked up stunt by the Crown & Anchor urinals back in January..



Which then leads us to this awesome stunt we pulled back in April. Quite like Nick Hadley before him Dick Dale thought I was taking photos (and yet this video however would prove otherwise).



And how can we forget this burning effigy he left on the Grenfell Street medium strip outside the Cranka after an ill fated Kamikaze gig back in September? (which to the surprise of absolutely no one would subsequently get their band banned from that venue for "life"). FUCK YEAAAH!!



HONOURABLE MENTION - NICK BASTIRAS
Then there's Nick Bastiras (who you may otherwise recognise as one of the guitarists from Tyger Tyger). He's not necessarily here for his artistic aptitude in "Photogenic Fuckwittery", or even the frequency by which he made a complete dick of himself. No, he simply gets an honourable mention here for just how awesomely stupid THIS photo is. Yup, it's not just that afro, it's not just that handlebar porn moustache: but the freak combination of BOTH that freaking nails it!



DISHONOURABLE MENTION - SOPHIE vs BEC
Which in closing to this all too lengthy award (I so shouldn't encourage this shit I swear!) brings us to these two dishonourable mentions: Sophie and Bec, bartenders from Producers Bar and the Ed Castle respectively (although the former has since quit). You may've wondered why they both featured so prominently in my blog through the middle part of this year when apparently they didn't do anything to actually warrant it (although to be fair Bec did make for a hilarious drunk!). You may've also wondered why I always seemed to make an appearance at both Producers Bar and The Ed Castle more times than were entirely necessarily after hours, just so they could make even more entirely ridiculous and entirely pointless appearances. Well wonder no more because they bribed me with free beer.. YEAAAS! This is not to say that there's was anything wrong with behaviour per se (as I would love nothing more than to encourage this shit at every available opportunity) but I still feel it's worth pointing out all the same.. it's wrong people! WRONG!! (pffft what am I saying!? beer is awesome!). Even more retarded they even made it a running contest just to see who could get more photos out of it (as I believe Sophie was aiming for at least twenty appearances by the end of the year?). As for who won this mad grab for infamy in the end: who the fuck knows!? I've long since lost count (I don't think I was paying attention in the first place). Still if anyone's crazy enough to research this shit (and by all means) let us know?




CELEBRITY STUNTCASTING OF THE YEAR
Still when it comes to REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel to make your live music website look infinitely more popular than it actually is: nothing quite beats the art of "celebrity stuntcasting". Most frequently employed by sitcoms, fucked up cartoons like The Simpsons (or by badly impersonating them in both South Park and Family Guy) or by inviting an entirely incomprehensible "music guest" to play the shittyarse dive your adolescent protagonist chooses to frequent in any given teen drama (seriously did the Flaming Lips ever play the Peach Pit or did they simply make all that shit up!?) either way we all know its a sham. Most would also wonder how the hell anyone of MY idiotic inepitude ever managed to score such awesome C-grade celebrities (as clearly I'd hardly rate as a D-grade myself) and yet it's MUCH easier than it looks. The answer is simple as much as it's universal: everyone gets drunk. Sooner or later they'll all get drunk in the same place and BAM! you'll have an entirely shit ridiculous celebrity moment. 2008 sure as shit wasn't short of them and these are just some of the finest (and worst) we laid claim to..



WINNER - CRAIG NICHOLLS
Yup I gotta hand it to Craig Nicholls he sure knows how to play his role in an episode of Spoz's Rant better than anyone. The setting was a lazy Friday night in November. I'd been to an entirely average gig at Rocket Bar only to stumble into The Ed Castle afterwards with aims to get ridiculously drunk. Which coincidentally was the exact same moment that The Vines decided to stumble into the Ed Castle (after a gig at The Governor Hindmarsh) with the exact same aim in mind. Clearly however they didn't clue their lead singer in on the plan: as Craig Nicholls was (for want of a better word) looking a little bit "lost". We've all heard the stories: the Asperger's syndrome, how he lives on nothing but Mickey D's, KFC and Marijuana, how he's like an overgrown kid (even though he's over thirty) but to see it in action is something else altogether. Still, at least we can say that he was happy as fuck out there. He was happy to balance on one leg. He was happy to pull mad shapes endlessly fascinated with a lit cigarette. He was happy to flap his arms about and pull crazy dance moves in front of his. He was also ridiculously happy in this infamous sequence of photos that followed when he decided to climb up over all the chairs one by one and then jumps on top of this table happy as all hell. Craig Nicholls, what a freaking champion!




Revelling in the mad spectacle he performed before us, our assembled cast of illbient freaks (including Brendan and Azz here from Lady Strangelove) all decided to jump in for a photo with him to celebrate the moment. He looked happy, possibly a little TOO happy (we just thought he'd had a little too much "ewok" out back and didn't think much more of it) and after this shot we all went our separate ways. Then a few short days later, maybe a week at most, we all hear the news: due to Craig Nicholl's deterioating mental health The Vines have been forced to cancel all subsequent shows in Australia and overseas; all of them immediately after the show they played in Adelaide, and if we dare make a connection: all of them immediately after meeting with us later that night! Did we destroy his fragile little mind? Did we somehow contribute to his deterioating mental state!? Yup, as far as chance incidence of "celebrity stuntcasting" goes: Craig Nicholls well and truly exceeded all our expectations. In 2008 we humbly bow to his insane brilliance!



NOMINATED - HAR MAR SUPERSTAR
Of course this ain't the only brush with infamy we had in 2008. A month or so earlier at Supermild we bumped into the one and only Har Mar Superstar (and not Ron Jeremy or Jon Lovitz as you may've otherwise confused him with) who was laughing it up here after Parklife. Even better: moments into posing for a photograph with my friend Sophie here, he decides he wants to take her home instead. Awesome idea, except she REALLY isn't into the idea and proceeded to claw madly at him to get the fuck away. This of course would've made for the most hilarious story ever: C-grade celebrity attempts to pick up home town girl in an underground nightspot at 4AM only to get flatly rejected WHILST I'm taking a photo of it.. if only ANY of you actually had a freaking clue WHO Har Mar Superstar was in the first place (I think he's big in.. I dunno.. Belgium!?).





DISHONOURABLE MENTION - CLIVE OWEN
And it only gets worse from here, when just one week after ruining Craig Nicholl's career, we inexplicably run into A-grade celebrity Clive Owen too (well ok, maybe he's just B-grade) drinking himself into a quiet stupour at Supermild. Of course it would've been entirely awesome if he was willing to get a photograph with us, but he didn't, as he visibly looked like he had the HARDEST day of acting in his entire life. So what did we do? We photoshopped up the world's shittiest reinactment instead.. YES clearly I win at life! What makes this story even MORE awesome is we also end up bumping into him two more times in the following week and it never occurs to us that we should try getting his photo again. Clive Owen, I'll say it again, what a freaking legend!



EXTRATERRESTRIAL OF THE YEAR
Which then brings us to our final category: the most prized social pic of them all in 2008. These are the photos that simply defy all other explanation and catagorisation. Most of these shots weren't staged, most of them weren't planned, most of these shining examples here weren't even aware of just how head explodingly awesome their likenesses were when I captured them. They simply are who they are: humanity at its finest! There are no real winners here: yet you can't deny their indelible impact. This is what living your life 9PM to 5AM is all about! This is every reason you want to go out every night with a camera to capture it all! Just like it's every reason to change the locks, arms yourself to the teeth and hope and pray NONE of them ever choose to follow you home! Oh yes! 2008 wouldn't be the same without them: stand tall and be proud Adelaide!



















And now that I've given you more than enough nightmares to sufficiently last you all week.. stay tuned, for there's a whole lot more of this shit yet more to come! When we present Part Two: The Artist Awards. Devoted to Adelaide's very best vocalists, guitarists, bass players, drummers and / or "miscellaneous" (wow I bet you all love being lumped into that one) that I clearly have no right or qualification to judge in the FIRST place (I mean seriously who the FUCK do I think I am!?) but I'll give out awards to anyways. Why!? because you idiots freaking asked for it.. that's why!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Like Leaves + Morals Of A Minor

:: Spoz 2:34 PM |
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