:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: SUBMERGE, DOUBLE
DENIM and TIERSMAN
(Fringe Festival)
:: TORTE E MORT
(Fringe Festival)
:: THE BYZANTINES
(EP Launch) with
COSMO THUNDERCAT
(Fringe Festival)
:: BLACK CORAL, SONS
OF ZOKU, THE HOWLING
FOG, BLOOD PLASTIC
and KITCHEN WITCH
(Fringe Festival)
:: MOTHER'S CAKE,
ALITHIA, TONY
FONT SHOW and
OVERVIEW EFFECT
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS ::A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AARON THOMAS :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BAD//DREEMS :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OLD MATE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLIE ENGLISH :: OLLY HOLMES :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONLY OBJECTS :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: ORELIA :: THE OSCILLATORS :: OSH10 :: OVERVIEW EFFECT :: OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: PAIGE RENEE COURT :: PALACE OF THE KING :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PARADES :: PARTY :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERFECT PUSSY :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: PETER COMBE :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: PONYTAIL KINK :: THE POP-UPS :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: PORCHLIGHT PARADE :: POST DEATH POST :: THE PRESETS :: PRESTON'S HISTORIC PUNCH & JUDY SHOW :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: PROBLEMS :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PRO-TOOLS :: THE PROPHETS OF IMPENDING DOOM :: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN CRUMPETS :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PURITY RING :: PUT DOWNS :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! 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:: Wednesday, September 08, 2010

NO THROUGH ROAD + BOX ELDER + SARAH CHADWICK
"LAST SHOW (...FOR A WHILE)" @ THE JADE MONKEY / Friday September 3rd 2010

Ok this winter's getting to be waaay beyond a joke now, a fucking joke! Well.. ALMOST. I mean I'm still milking it for all its worth aren't I? (well pfft.. what else have I got here? jokes on our hung parliament debacle!? AAAAHAHAHAHaHAhAHAhA!!). But no this milk's gone sour and I ain't gonna drink it no more.. proverbial yoghurt my arse people! this ain't cottage cheese! this ain't curdled cream! don't give me that plastic spoon with a smile and tell me to dig in like it's fucking froghurt! This is September damnit! SEPTEMBER! and where the FUCK is this spring already? yeah SPRING! you remember that shit right!? all them spastic happy birds, bees, blossoming whatever-the-fuck flower explosions, all of nature frolicking "fancy free" and fornicating like it's christmas; nothing but sex, sun and laughing ourselves silly in synchronised sneeze attacks!? I mean where the fuck is all that.. huh? HUH!? I ASK YOU, WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT!? I've been waiting more than three whole months for this shit to end! THREE MONTHS!! And yeah yeah I understand why it hasn't too maaan! I really do! I've studied the sciences! I've got me them googles, wikipedias and the interwebs! It's not like the seasons switch according to the whims of our calendar system riiight? It's not like they know it's September or if they give half a crap if we wave an iphone app about screaming thinking that'll make a difference! Just as they're blissfully oblivious of us whenever they throw a "summer" heatwave in the middle of March or November (youuu bastards!) just as much as all THIS is little more than a pissy byproduct of the Earth's axis tilt to the sun and they could just as simply throw us all into another "ice age" just to spite us! But I ask you.. WHY NOT!? I mean shit duuudes! if we can unleash more than enough nuclear weaponry to plunge our planet into a nuclear winter; if we can belch out enough burning car tires, asbestos and cow farts into the atmosphere to cause global warming on a catastrophic scale.. "ooops there goes Greenland!" why can't we do BOTH at once throw in a thermostat switch and get it all sorted!? FUUUCK!! August 31st: winter. September 1st: spring. Is it really that hard!? And here we are on September 3rd.. AND WE'RE STILL WAITING!?



Yup as much as I feel like a broken record bitching about this weather? DUUUDE IT'S ONLY GOTTEN WORSE!! In fact if we plotted the "death toll" to the scene from August 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th to now (and be sure to crank that cherry picker for the last one) by next Friday night this blog will be guest directed by Roland Emmerich and we'll be upto our armpits in breakdancing polar bears. And yes I DO realise they're indigenous to the Arctic and we're much closer to the Antarctic (and the whole "breakdancing" thing probably doesn't quite match his oeuvre) but do we really give a flying fuck at this point!? nope much sooner than that we're gonna need a shovel and a bag of salt just to find our toilet seat to contemplate a way out of this mess; and the only way I can see that is by tunnelling out to the tropics! The worst storm to hit Adelaide in years? and all this after the worst winter in thirteen years!? (as much as I'm aware all this pales in comparison to what's happening interstate right now.. ooops!) oh it's wiping these city streets clean like a magna doodle tonight I can tell you that much! There's nary a soul left lurking, especially not on the bus trip into town like we're the post script to the apocalypse and I never got my "invite" (and is that guy in front of me polishing his shotgun?) it's the saddest most depressing thing I've ever seen cock a leg and piss on our city's nightlife since the Clipsal 500 (egads!). I mean is there any hope of finding anyone alive at Jade Monkey tonight? FUUUCK here's hoping duuude.. because at the very least we can still burn them all as fuel. Bring along bag of marshmallows? and we'll totally make a night of it!



Which very much describes the "inviting aroma" that hits my nostrils the minute I step through that door just now; as much as I'm hallucinating that shit something fierce (and I totally forgot to make a last minute trip to the supermarket too? damnit!). For as much as I do find myself in the thick of one bloodthirsty hoard huddled for warmth here? I'm pretty sure none of them have drawn short straws to be chargrilled for the "greater good" yet; or at least NOT until they eyeballed my entrance and started discussing an alternative (ooops!). Nope they're here to pay their last respects to long serving "scene legends" No Through Road who are playing their last show tonight, or at least for a while, or at least I think? or wait.. do we even know if this is a semi-permanent hiatus or a holiday? or what? (yeaaah they haven't been all that clear on it.. so who the fuck knows!?). Either way a proverbial rats nest of equipment has been forming on stage as I speak, the bar's filling upto the brim like this's the last place to party in all of Adelaide (and after the journey it took to get here? I very much don't doubt that) and they ain't leaving this place until we've damn near drunk our fill!





SARAH CHADWICK (****) myspace ::
Which yup, brings us in a rather "unassuming" way to our opening act. Sneaking onto the stage unannounced, she finds her seat and starts strumming ever so softly, almost inperceptably, and yet even so, slowly but surely we're drawn into her presence. For hers is a blacker than black mass: all melancholy and woe wraught ever so real like a dragging ball and chain. It's impossible to miss it really, even with the initial "crowd chatter" drowning her out. It's weighed down in every word she sings, in every slow slashing riff to her wrists in woeful solidarity and we all know who it's intended for (at least in this instance) as much as they're still alive and kicking and fueling up at the bar for their headlining spot. Just as we all know this show tonight is little more than a mad excuse for us to party hard before they take a well deserved "holiday" (just as we dare not read into this any other way.. eeeek!) but such is the richness of character found in Sarah Chadwick's voice that we can't help but feel like we're witness to the end regardless. Yup you may recognise her as lead singer for Batrider (I mean pfft.. they've only released what? three albums, two EPs, one vinyl 12", been based in four cities around the world and are all set to release a fourth album soon!?). Or you may remember her from when she played that solo set at Format back in July (as much as I don't doubt she's played solo many times since). And tonight's performance is very much more of the same. In style she's somewhat reminiscent of Cat Power at her softest and most introspective only to whip herself into a Courtney Love howling frenzy at her loudest and often in an escalating scale in the same song. She draws her lyrics from a teeny tiny notebook propped up on the guitar pedals in front of her. She draws her guitar strings slow and sparse to accompany it. She stoops all crooked like a hunchback over her microphone, damn near chewing the very gristle out of it in expressing all her inner pain. And of course the mixer sees this and briefly thinks something's at fault, he even comes to fix the "offending" stand by raising it to a more comfortable upright level; only the minute his back is turned Sarah simply readjusts it down again (HA!). Yup it's all part of her act, as much as it is NO act, she's lived it all and she's damn near gonna make us feel this from beginning to end. But it's no uphill battle in winning us over either.. far from it. The crowd are inextricably drawn, hushing in silence to her pied piper presence, they can't get enough of it. And you can't blame them really as it's the sorta music that sounds all the better if you simply let it wash over you in a willing state of a paralysis, beer in hand like a slow IV drip feed, contemplating the rich gravity of it. It's the sorta music where every lyric resonates and we're the tuning forks: all blues and nothing but bittersweet bliss. Most of the songs (as much as I can gather) are from Batrider's back catalogue. She also performs a cover of No Through Road's "Crush This Town" only done as a maudlin death march and it's all the more defiant for it. And yes admittedly it IS a sad sack opening gambit, perhaps a little too much to bear in one sitting, as much as it's all the more "weather appropriate" to the huddled masses soaking it like a sponge just now. Either way it's Sarah Chadwick in one. Hire her for a funeral, invite all your friends to attend, burst out of the casket at the very last minute? aaaah what better sentiment could you have on a night like this!?







BOX ELDER (***) myspace ::
Which brings us to the similarly somber sounds of our second act. But before we start thinking that this is gonna be the prevalent "theme" for tonight's proceedings and it's gonna be nothing but us wailing and gnashing our teeth in a black cowled funeral accompaniment? yeaaah don't worry the payoff is yet to come (and yes you truly DID miss out on the show of a lifetime if you weren't here to witness it.. HA HA HA DUUUDE DID YOU EVER!!) but more on that later and onto the subject at hand. Yup this is Box Elder. Word is they've been around for little over a year now (or at least as much as I'm aware of?) and this ISN'T the first time I've seen them live either. That'd be back in October 2009 at The Metro with Steering By Stars and Sunsettler (at least off the record) and then in February this year with Sincerely, Grizzly at The Exeter after killing myself retarded at Soundwave Festival (because clearly THAT wasn't enough punishment for one day) but this IS the first time I've had the chance to put them under the proverbial blowtorch, scalpel or magnifying glass to see what really makes them "tick" (oh and that doesn't sound ominous at all DOES IT!?). And for the most part there's actually a lot to like about them here. For one they're every epitome the a-grade "sound geek" in setup: and not just in the everything short of "the machine that goes ping" in guitar pedals, effects, tweakers and tuners that they've got rocking like a shoegazer symphony on stage, but also for the fact they've got a "Logic Pro" sound studio wired up amongst that to record their set (ie: with accompanying audience mics and booms over the drumkit? duuude it's insane!). Secondly they cover all the right bases in indie "art rock" influences too. Think the malevolent extremes of Deerhunter meets the wide eyed naivity of "Children Of Telepathic Experiences" by Gerling; but you could also throw in everything from My Bloody Valentine, Pavement, Sonic Youth, Sigur Rós to Animal Collective and you wouldn't be far off the mark (I also suspect one of their biggest influences might be Steering By Stars too). Or in other words they're everything that the likes of Pitchfork would totally burst a left testicle over in undying adoration. The band also looks the part, at least in the way that they look like an 80's post punk collective that's been dressed in the dark: all spastic poodle hair, button down shirts and awkwardly introverted (and yet they're all the better for it!). But the real driving force here, at least in their stage presence? is with Patrick Lockwood. He's their lead singer thrashing and flailing out front like all of Richard Ashcroft's years of substance abuse shrunk into the sinewy stick figure of an earnest adolescent: like his whole life depends on it, like he's nothing short of explodingly "hearfelt" in every one of his lyrics (as much as he's mostly just singing "WHOAAAAAA!!" over and over). But as much as he IS their main selling point, he's also potentially their biggest "Achilles' heel" too. For the louder and more passionately he sings these songs tonight, the more eerily he sings out of tune. Granted it's not a total deal breaker (and in some ways he does kinda remind me of the dissonant quality of Panda Bear from Animal Collective only with twice the fractured vulnerability) but it can be quite painfully jarring too for what is otherwise an exceptionally solid "wall of sound" production. On the flipside however they've just recorded a brilliant debut EP "Rewind The Fall", which they'll be launching in two weeks time (but they're still selling copies of here tonight) and it's as blissfully naive as it's hauntingly inspired. Better yet in the spirit of the occassion they also performed a cover of No Through Road's "The Next Bob Dylan": only Patrick replaces the words "Bob Dylan" with "Matt Banham" and it absolutely floors it in psychotic delivery. So, as much as this band might lack in "fine tuning"? they more than make up for in fanatical conviction. Box Elder. They're just that little bit undercooked as they stand tonight, but give them time to refine it and they'll surely be a feast fit for the ages!












NO THROUGH ROAD (*****) myspace ::
Which at long last brings us to our headlining act. The same our "bloodthirsty hoard" have braved this near apocalyptic winter weather to pack Jade Monkey to the ceiling for (and I'm not even kidding you duuude: it's five kinds of fucking nuts out there in the "elements" and it's easily doubly that fucking nuts to be stuffed in HERE too). And all in giddy anticipation for what will surely be a farewell show to end all "farewells" in following? (and yes I'm aware of the inherent irony in that) YOU BETCHA!! just as much as we half suspect that they're simply "ducking out for a pack of cigarettes" and will be back before we know it.. WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!? I mean either way this shit eventuates tonight? it's a strange feeling to be amongst it all the same, stranger still to be eulogising about it so soon but what the hey here goes nothing in "needless sentiment". Yup when I think of No Through Road, as I'm sure many of us will after this night (or at least once we get past the blinding hangover and relocate most of our missing teeth) I like to think of them as the very antithesis of "scenster cool". I mean for one they never quite gunned for "buzz band" status amongst the hipster elite did they? as much as they occassionally found it by accident. They never quite wrote "pop songs" to appeal to the masses either, as much as many of their songs proved ridiculously popular amongst the drunk and disenchanted. Instead they aimed true to the spirit of what being a "live band" is all about, and why many of us found ourselves wooping it up retarded to this ridiculous trainwreck in the first place. It's not about being fuck off fashionable, seeking the pinnacle of popularity, or about being wildly "experimental" with two drummers, a female bass player, a melodica, a ukulele, a horn section and a glockenspiel (as much as that can totally work too). It's about not being able to fit in with ANY of that shit, let alone society as a whole. It's about needing to escape it all instead, that undeniable urge to let loose and unleash that only comes one song and setlist at a time. It's about finding yourself in a place like THIS tonight surrounded by so many other like minded peers: freaks and geeks and mad fools living in the "moment" that you can't help but drink yourself deleriously blind in riotous celebration to it. I mean suure it might never have been the "answer" to any of our problems here but it sure as shit helps us forget the question riiight!? And THAT'S what No Through Road provides for us tonight.. OOOOH SHIT YEAH!! Fronted by Matt Banham: their prize jackass and human punching bag in a suit and tie askew, constantly heckled and harrassed by his "fanatical fanbase" a few shades short of being torn limb from limb (but thankfully no longer sporting that slurring "Jim Morrisson" bearded persona of his recent live appearances that only egged us on even further), accompanied by his band of merry misanthropes and with an extended setlist (and two encores) covering the length and breadth of their career (as well as a whole host of new songs)? they tore us a new spleen from beginning to end. Obviously there's far too many highlights to elaborate on that in full (I mean it was a feeding frenzy, a seething mosh to each and every one of their songs) but a few instantly spring to mind. The mad sing-a-longs that erupted from the crowd during "Helicopter #3" and "Party To Survive", only to be accompanied by a sea of hands during "Peak/Ridge". The crowd surfers going beserk during "Young Skins" (and next to every other song). That random guest vocalist who joined them on stage for "Sucked In Matt" (and she busted the craziest dance moves too!). Former guitarist Stephanie Crase joining them for "Steph's Song" (I mean it was a no brainer she'd be here.. but we cheered her on all the same). Only to be topped by the spastic demolition derby that exploded on and off stage when former member and Matt's brother Stevie Bee joined them for their second encore "Die For Something" a never more apt song title and mad manifesto for life if ever I heard one; especially for tonight. Yup in many ways you just had to be here to experience it for yourself, if you weren't you just have to watch the videos and wonder what could've been.. duuude it was a fucking massacre! No Through Road. They're a band for the people, a band frequently drawn and quartered and devoured BY the people. And as much as this surely won't be the end of them, not by a long shot.. in the words of "The Next Bob Dylan"? we will still miss them when they're gone!















Of course all THAT barely expresses the length and breadth of their insanity here tonight (as much as I still coughed up a fucking big chunk of gibberish in covering for it) and there's a damn good reason for that too. I mean if I DID tell you, if I did merely stand by the sidelines the entire show and document everything in full I'd be doing them an utter disservice here. Seriously! You're not a spectator to No Through Road maaan.. not if you know what's good for you! You dive right into the deep end and you make an absolute dick of yourself. YOU LIVE THAT SHIT TO THE FULLEST!! And admittedly just this once, with their extended setlist giving me more than enough time to cover all those "bases", I was afforded that rare opportunity to follow through on it. I mean more often than not what you see here everytime I "review a show" is simply me frantically photographing, shooting video, taking notes on my phone and juggling a beer whilst mentally dissecting their shit (so I can figure out what utterly arbitrary "rating out of five" I should give it) instead of actually enjoying the show. It's a catch 22, IT REALLY IS! But tonight I wasn't going to have any of that. I didn't care how diabolical Jade Monkey's stage lighting was to shoot in tonight (I mean I fucking love this joint but it still has its swear inducing moments) I didn't care how threadbare my coverage would be in the writing of it. If there's a mosh fuck full of drunken idiots? I just knew I had to be a part of it. And believe me, out of all the dumb reasons I had for braving this winter weather tonight? THIS and copious amounts of beer was the only real reason that made sense to me.. OOOOH FUCK YEAH!!




1:35AM - And so here we are. The show has already ended over an hour ago with the band leaving the stage to much riotous hooting applause (and an equal number of loud mouth hecklers screaming for more) and yes they've been drinking themselves blind at the bar ever since. DJ Phallic Baldwin (aka: Matt Hayward) has been banging out a choice selection of 80's cheese power ballads, synth pop and new wave to a packed dancefloor dancing up a storm (aaaah and look at them go too!). And let me remind you that ALL THIS has been happening on a hideously cold wet winter's night (in September) past 1AM at the freaking Jade Monkey!? DUUUDE!! No really if you were anywhere else tonight: I don't care if you were snorting coke of a stripper's nipples, if you had albino midgets juggling firecrackers, if you had a jelly wrestling pit filled with ferrets, a donkey on rollerskates dancing to classic cuts by Giorgio Moroder and David Bowie holding up score cards; I don't care if you saw the Klaxons play Palace Theatre in Melbourne and they pulled their faces off only to reveal that yes they truly ARE aliens from the Pleiades Star Cluster sent to kill us all; you totally missed out! No really, kick yourself retarded in the head and weep, for you weren't HERE!!



1:43AM - Still with curiousity getting the better of me and with the "festivities" at Jade Monkey showing no signs of abating, I figured I might investigate some of the "alternatives" on offer. And so after a short walk I found myself HERE at Rhino Room. Word is they were launching a brand new monthly event called "Sardines" in the basement level, featuring: "a fishy blend of jazz, soul, hip hop, electro, house, blues, world, bass, whitebait, mudskippers and sardines!". And yes I was invited with one of those wacky facebook event thingies. I even considered it for MORE than five seconds before clicking "maybe attending" and I mean how could I not maaan!? it sounds too damn goofy cute NOT to attend: "sardines? SARDINES!? fuck that's gold!". But of course thanks to the foul weather, or perhaps a freak bomb scare/gas leak/vampire attack I was otherwise unaware of, it was nothing but a whistling postscript by the time I arrived there. Hmmm so what now then?



1:51AM - Well obviously I just went straight back to the Jade Monkey again, party still raging, bought a stubbie of Coopers Pale Ale and a fuck off "cinema size" bag of Chicken Twisties (and hey look the colours match too: HOW RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME AM I!?) and laughed myself silly in the beer garden (and yes it was everything I hoped it could be AND SO MUCH MORE!!). And as much as that DOES sound like a pissy product placement (and it SO is too, gimme free shit ya fucking arseholes!) it's also me totally gloating over just how awesome the Jade Monkey is tonight, especially if YOU weren't here to enjoy it yourself and you're just reading up on it now.. WOOOO!!



2:20AM - But alas such "mad celebratory glee" (bordering on malicious) was all too short lived the minute Jade Monkey closed its doors on us. *Sigh* I know, guess it had to happen eventually! And as much as I DID entertain the notion of simply hiding out in a corner till everyone else left and raiding the bar fridge until dawn? it's not like I could publish THAT and get away with it (but who's to say I DIDN'T and I simply concocted the rest of this story to cover for it anyways?) and so I found myself wandering these cold empty streets on search of my next "raging hotspot" instead.



2:23AM - And as luck would have it guess what's on at the Bull & Bear tonight!?



2:25AM - Now I know what some of you might be thinking and yes I'd usually be inclined to agree (and I sure as hell have cracked jokes about this "Transmission" shit in the past) as much as I'm always here almost every other month as it is (because what can I say? I'M A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!!) to the infinite credit of THIS umpa lumpa on the decks? the minute I walked in not only did he crank "Evil" by Interpol but he totally followed it up with "Transmission" by Joy Division. Now if you know ANYTHING about my retarding taste in music (and why I always used to give Lumonics all those glowing accolades as a result) you'd know there'd be nowhere else I'd want to be now than right HERE. I mean shit duuude if he played Radiohead too? I'd never want to leave!



2:47AM - But alas.. short of that one brief shining moment? yup just like every OTHER wacky alternative I optioned tonight (that isn't the Jade Monkey *sigh*) it's absolutely dead in here. HA HA HA duuude is it ever! And by "absolutely dead" I'm clearly speaking in relative terms: I mean the dancefloor's still packed, it's still a raging humdinger in all kinds of hipster tragedy and Ross Osmon is still spinning waaay too much Vampire Weekend for his own good (seriously I can't listen to "A-Punk" anymore without gouging my eyes out and screaming.. you baaastard!) but it was still missing that little extra something all the same. Yeaaah you know? there's none of the usual Ed Castle doorbitches to make fun of, or that doofus who's always ragingly drunk or humping a trash can, or that other weirdo who I'm always forgotting the name of (yeah you know who you are, GOOOOD TIMES!!) I mean this is quality entertainment we're talking about. But instead of talking about THAT? yeaaah lemme just express all my "emotional outrage" in these two photos here.




And obviously I'm not alone in expressing that either. I mean how else was I able to take these photos without using my hands? wacky supernatural powers of telekenesis? don't make me laugh!



"Oh hi Jules! how's your night been? ooooh that bad huh!? bummer.."




And yes this truly WAS the most "entertaining" thing to do at Transmission tonight..



2:51AM - Or at least until I started toying about with these beer coasters instead.



3:26AM - One excruciating half hour of boredom later (made slightly less so by the fact I was drinking myself to giddy oblivion at the time.. weeee!) I left my beer coaster Taj Mahal behind (along with my beer coaster Pyramid of Giza, Machu Picchu, Ankor Wat and The Great Wall Of China) scaled the steps of the Bull & Bear back to street level and made the long arduous treck to Supermild. A long arduous treck made all the more idiotic by the fact I was doing it in the pouring rain, and even more idiotic STILL in me documenting it now by pausing to take a photo of it, and oh look I even took the time to post a twitter about it? WHAT THE FUCK AM I STILL DOING HERE!?



3:35AM - Obviously there was no lineup at Supermild tonight.. I mean you'd have to be barking mad to even think that let alone still be out at this hour (yeaaah what can I say this blog has an increasingly asinine reputation to uphold). There was however a rather flustered looking man his mid sixties looking for all intents like the roof was about to cave in on him. But don't worry that's just the resident bouncer here, he always looks that flustered, and it only took one look at ME stumbling towards him like a drowned rat, mumbling obscenities, to convince him to let me in.



4:26AM - Of course the minute I entered I hit the bar for a long neck, or preferably a dozen of them, a bucket and a funnel; only to be told by one Ruby Chew: Hindley Street's most ridiculously awesome bartender (for reasons that I've never quite established here except for the fact she's ridiculously pretty) that they're no longer selling long necks. Obviously I totally freak the fuck out, like my entire world's coming to an end, shit I may even have blacked out for an hour there, only for Ruby Chew to elaborate that they're "no longer selling long necks" TONIGHT. Yup I believe this photo with Gloria here rather neatly sums up the mad rollercoaster of emotion I just went through.



4:35AM - Yup just like Henri Dubois sums up in THIS photo how none of this matters a shit in the grand scheme of things; especially not when you possess the kind of superpowered hairspray that makes you invulnerable to conventional weapons fire (and a rather festive roman candle to boot if you flicked a lit match at it.. woooo!) just as he's also quite possibly the last person alive in Supermild right now as next to everyone else has been torn apart by wolves (or simply caught a taxi the fuck outta here). And yes I DO realise wolves are indigenous to the northern hemisphere and I really should've written "dingoes" instead.. but do we really give a flying fuck at this point!?



4:43AM - Moments later as Supermild was closing up for the night (as from what I vaguely recall all the wolves, dingoes, whatever-the-fuck kept ordering shot after shot of vermouth with lamb's blood in it and it was totally creeping the barstaff out) some miraculous survivor to this highly fictionalised slaughter (or perhaps a group of them) mentioned that we could totally keep drinking back at their joint. It was just off of Rundle Mall somewhere, I think!? obviously it was the most ridiculously awesome plan I'd heard all night (especially if you're a professional binge drinker like me) but after everything I'd been through tonight? yeaaah I seriously didn't have the energy or motivation left to carry on (fuck it.. maybe next time!?). Because as it stands right now? after THREE LONG MONTHS OF THIS SHIT!? it'd much rather take these nine cans of "Boom Boom", a cigarette lighter, crawl into my oven, turn the gas on, and wait it out another month. GAME OVER!!



Yup I've freaking had it with this winter. It's waaay beyond a joke now, A FUCKING JOKE!! It's waaay beyond retarded! I'm waving my little white flag here and I'm giving up! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BAD IT'S BEEN! Well of course you don't! It's been nothing but launch party after launch party laughing it up nonstop on this blog! It's been nothing but a riotous celebration in giddy hysterics every week for you people, EVERY FREAKING WEEK!! and tonight was no exception! And clearly I've popped a second larynx in my lower intestine here and I'm talking out of my arse now if I think for a moment that we've EVER had it this good! FUUUCK!! But I swear it's been an uphill battle too, an arduous impossible ordeal against the "elements" that only gets harder each week, and now I'm ruling that "line in the snow" and I'm saying no more! NO MORE!! YOU CAN ALL GET FUUUCKED! SERIOUSLY, I AIN'T WRITING SHIT HERE UNTIL I SEE SOME FREAKING SUNSHINE YA BAAASTARDS!! Hmmm yup so until THAT happens (don't hold your breath) and "spring" finally inches up over that horizon and beams its cheesyarse grin at us? this is Spoz signing off. I'm not even kidding you, I can wait as long as I want, I've got all the time in the world, how about you.. popsicle anyone!?

Previously on Spoz's Rant: "What Happens On My Night Off, Stays On My Night Off"

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
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