:: SPOZ's RANT ::

 
The Adelaide scene: to many of you it may be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctional splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...

:: home | contact | patreon | bandcamp | spotify | youtube | twitter | instagram | facebook | weekly gig guide |

[::..latest blogs..::]
:: MAISIE, BUDDY J FRANCIS
and SAM PAGE; RICKY
ALBECK & THE BELAIR
LINE BAND (Single Launch)
w/ THE CONDOS and
MORTAL AMBITION
:: TUCKSHOP and
BRAVE MISTAKES; NIGHT
RITES and THE GENEVIEVES;
MODERN RELICS
(Single Launch) w/ THE MAX
HEADROOM; CARLA LIPPIS &
MONDO PSYCHO and BRIXX
:: SHODASHI, HEPÉ MATEH
and LIVE SLUG REACTION
:: SOYLENT GREEN,
WONDERWALLS JAM BAND
REVIVAL BAND and ADAM
PAGE; THUNDER SPEAKS
(Single Launch) w/ BREWER,
KILLING CENTRE, VERZANSKI,
NEW LIFE ODYSSEY and
MOUNTAIN SONGS
:: PIMPIN' HORUS
(Farewell Show) w/ TWITCH;
VELVET VOID, NORMAL
BEHAVIOUR and PELVIS
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
:: society intermission
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

| 11
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15
| 16
| 17 | 18 | 19 | 20
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: THE 1NE :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: THE 7.4.5. :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: A GAZILLION ANGRY MEXICANS :: A RED DAWN :: A YOUNG MAN DRESSED AS A GORILLA DRESSED AS AN OLD MAN SITS ROCKING IN A ROCKING CHAIR FOR FIFTY-SIX MINUTES AND THEN LEAVES :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: AARON THOMAS & THE HUMAN PATTERNS :: AARON THOMAS TRIO :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ABOLISHED :: ABRASKA :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACID WOLF :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM GEOFFREY COLE :: THE ADAM HIGGS FIELD SUPERCOLLIDER :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AGAPANTHER :: AIDAN J JONES :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALANA JAGT & THE MONOTREMES :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALBANY AVENUE :: ALDOUS HARDING :: ALEKSIAH :: ALEX K :: ALEX K & THE SPUTNIK SWEETHEARTS :: ALEXANDER BLACK :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALISON COPPE :: ALISON COPPE & THE JANES :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALNITAK KID :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHA STREET :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALREADY GONE :: ALRIGHT PSYCHO :: ALT. :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMENDS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: AMY SHARK :: ANCIENT DESIGN :: ANDERSON .PAAK & THE FREE NATIONALS :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW MCCUBBIN feat. MELINDA KAY :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE OK :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTI PSYCH :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANTY! :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPARITION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: THE AQUARIAN MYSTERIES :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARE YOU DRINKING COMFORTABLY? :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARIES :: ARIES FLOW :: ARIS SPEED :: ARLO COOK :: ARMITAGE SHANKS :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: ASTRO ELEVATOR :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATOMIC SISTER :: ATTONBITUS :: ATTONBITUS (SOLO) :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: AXE & THE IVORY :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABY CANDY :: BABY MO :: BABYLON BURNING :: BABYTEETH :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: THE BACKYARDERS :: BACKSEAT ROMEOS :: BAD//DREEMS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: BADBADNOTGOOD :: BADLAND CARAVAN :: THE BAIT FRIDGE :: BAKER BOY :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: BARON VON DOODIE :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BART'S NIGHTMARE :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BASTY & FRIENDS :: BASTY H :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATHAWK :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEACH LEECH :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEAR THE MAMMOTH :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: THE BEAUTIFUL MONUMENT :: BEC STEVENS :: BECCY ZAHO :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: BEE PREFECT :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: THE BELAIR LIP BOMBS :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BEND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG ROMANCE :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG SLOE :: BIG TOWN :: BIG YAWN :: BIKE WRECK :: BILLIE EILISH :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD DETECTIVE :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRDS ARE SPIES :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: BITCHSPAWN :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CHROME :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK GOLD :: THE BLACK HEART DEATH CULT :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACK STONE FROM THE SUN :: BLACKCHORDS :: BLACKPENNY :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: THE BLEEDING FLARES :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOMING :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOOD SUCKING FREAKS :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOODSTONE VILLAINS :: BLOW UP BETTY :: BLUE LUCY :: BLUE LUNACY :: BLUE SKY HOLIDAY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH :: BLUSH (SOLO) :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BONG COFFIN :: BONOBO :: BOOBY TRAP :: A BOOGIE WIT DA HOODIE :: BOOMSKULLY :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BORN LION :: BOS :: THE BOTANICALS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: BOY YOUNG :: BRAVE MISTAKES :: BREE TRANTER :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRETT LITTLEFAIR :: BREWER :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRIDGET FAHEY :: BRIDGET FAHEY & THE BONE RATTLERS :: BRILLIG :: BRIT TRUEACK :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRIXX :: BROMHAM :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUCK IT :: BUDDY J FRANCIS :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: THE BUOYS :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURJON :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: BURNING BRIDGES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BURNT FISH :: BUSHIDO :: BUSSEYS :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BUTTERFLY SPINE :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: BYSEA :: THE BYZANTINES :: C.H.O.P. ::CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CABLE TIES :: CAGEFLY :: CAL WILLIAMS JR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CAN MASTER SMASH & MOTUS COLLECTIVE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARL DOVER & 3 DEEP :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: CARLA LIPPIS & MONDO PSYCHO :: CAROLINE REID :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT LUCKY :: CAT PARTY :: CAUSING HAMMOCK :: CELESTITE :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAMP :: CHANCERY LANE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING GHOSTS :: CHASING LANA :: CHASING PHOENIX :: THE CHATS :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHEESE WORLD :: CHELSEA LEE :: CHELSEA MANOR :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINA CRISIS :: CHINA ROSES :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHRIST DISMEMBERED :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHOOSING SIDES :: CHURCH MOMS :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: THE CITY :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY FEET :: CITY RIOTS :: THE CLANGERS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLASHING PUMPKINS :: CLAY J GLADSTONE :: CLIENT LIASON :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: CLOVER :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUB LOCK :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: C.O.F.F.I.N :: CODRA NEGRA :: COERCE :: COG :: THE COLD FIELD :: COLDWAVE :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURBLIND :: COLOURBLIND DUO :: COLOURISE :: COLTER :: COLUMBUS :: CONCHILLIA :: THE CONDOS :: THE CONFESSIONALS :: CONOR DEERY :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: COPIOUS DRIBBLE :: CORPUS :: THE CORTEX SHIFT :: CORTEZ :: COSMIC FOSSIL :: COSMIC SHEPHERD :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COURTNEY BARNETT :: THE COURTNEY LOVES :: COVE STREET :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAVES :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CROSSFIRE HURRICANE :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CRYSTAL IGNITE :: CUB SCOUTS :: CUB SPORT :: CULL - THE BAND :: CURIOUS PALMS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAINTY MORSELS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DAN GASKIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANDY BUZZKILLS :: THE DANGER DOLPHINS :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: DARK DAZE :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DARTS OF PLEASURE :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAVID BLUMBERG :: DAVID BLUMBERG & THE MARABY BAND :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: THE DEAD REGULARS :: DEAD ROO :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAN FOREVER :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEATH BY CARROT :: DECOS :: DED//WESZ :: THE DEE MAJOR MYSTERY BAND :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DENTAL JAMS & EZROH :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: DESTINEZIA :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: DEVIL ELECTRIC :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIAMOND SKIES :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIETER HORVAT :: DIETER HORVAT & THE $5 MYSTERY SHOTS :: DIIV :: DILATED :: DILETTANTES :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY PAGANS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE QUARTET :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOC DISORDERS :: DOCTOR TREK IN SPACE :: DOE :: DOM TRIMBOLI & THE WIZARDS :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DON'T BRING STACEY :: DOOM POP :: DORKZ :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOWN & OUT :: DOZERS :: DR SURE'S UNUSUAL PRACTICE :: DRAINING :: DRAINING (ACOUSTIC) :: DRASTIC PARK :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: DREAM WIFE :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRESS CODE :: DREW & SEAN :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUID FLUIDS (DUO) :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S BLUES JAM BAND :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DUZZMERALDA :: DYSPORA :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EARL SWEATSHIRT :: EAST BRUNSWICK ALL GIRLS CHOIR :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECCENTRICK - FANTASY EDITION :: ECDYSIS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: THE EFFENDS :: EFFIE :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: EL COLOSSO :: EL FARINHO :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELECTRIC FIELDS :: ELECTRIC SEX PANTS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: ELENA & AIDAN CIBICH :: ELEPHANT :: ELEPHANT HIVE :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: ELK :: ELLA ION :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELLI BELLE :: THE ELLIOTT JOHNSON BAND :: EL BOTTLE O' PARADISO :: EL-P :: ELSY WAMEYO :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERAULD :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMILY DAVIS TRIO :: EMILY WYATT :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMMA JAYNE :: EMPERORS :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: THE EMPTY SLEEPS :: THE EMPTY THREATS :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENERGY ANGEL :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ER@SER DESCRIPTION :: ERIN BUKU :: ERIN MO :: ES IST SUPER :: ETHAN HUBBARD :: ETHANOL BLEND :: ETHANOL BLEND (DUO) :: EVEN :: EVERYDAY APATHY :: EXOTIC POTION COOKIES :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: THE EXPLOSIONING :: EYES MORE SKULL THAN EYES :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAFI D'ALOUR & THE DELINQUENTS :: FAIR CALL :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FATHER JOHN MISTY :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEBRUARY CLOUDS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: THE FIDDLE CHICKS :: FIGHTERPILOT :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FKA TWIGS :: FLAVELLA L'AMOUR :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FLEUR GREEN & THE KEEPERS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FLYING SQUAD DUO :: FLYYING COLOURS DUO :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FOOL'S IDOL :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANKIE SUNWAGON :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREE DRINKS :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: FULL TONE GENERATOR :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUNKY C FUNKY DO :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: G FLIP :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GALLERY ONE :: GANG OF YOUTHS :: GARDEN RUIN :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GEMMA THORNE :: GENERATION SWINE :: THE GENEVIEVES :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GEORGE GLASS :: GEORGIA NIELSEN :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GET SOME :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST THIEF :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLEN AVENTI :: GLENN OSMOND & THE FULLARTONES :: GLISK :: GLITORIS :: GLOWING :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOODBYE, MOTHER LEOPARD :: GOONBOMB :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE CUMMINGS :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: GRAFTON STREET :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: GRASSHOPPER & THE BUTTERFROGS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: GREEN CIRCLES :: GREENLEAF :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HÄGÖL :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: HANA & JESSIE-LEE'S BAD HABITS :: HANNAH FAIRLAMB :: HANNAH YATES :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARD RUBBISH :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HARTWAY :: HARVEY RUSSELL :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HAZY J & THE WASTED DAZE :: HEAPS GOOD FRIENDS :: HEARTLINE :: HEATH WEBER :: THE HEGGARTIES :: HEINOUS CRIMES :: HEKYL :: HELLO ENEMY :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELLS HOIST :: HELMET :: HENRY WILSON :: HEPÉ MATEH :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY HARRIETT :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIDDEN INTENT :: THE HIGH BEAMERS :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: HOCKEY DAD :: HOFMANN & THE COSMONAUTS :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLLY HASTINGS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FORREST :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME COURT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: HOMELY SMELLS :: THE HONEY PIES :: HONEYBEAM :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HORSE LORDS :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT MESS :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE IN THE TALL GRASS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL N' BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUBRIS :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUMPHREY B. BEAR :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUSTLE HOUSE :: HUXLEY :: THE HYDES :: HYDROMEDUSA :: I, A MAN :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, ICARUS :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IDLY BY :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSOMNICIDE :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERSECTION :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISAAC THOMAS :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S NOT A PHASE :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: THE JAY WALKERS :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK HARLON & THE DEAD CROWS :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JACKULSON :: JAMES HICKEY :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON KATSARAS :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS DAY :: JESS JOHNS :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE DAVIDSON BAND :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESSICA RAE :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: JETTISON :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JIMMYBAY :: JIMMYBAY & OLLIE KABBANI :: JODECI & SAM :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JOHNNY AMERICAN HORSE :: JOHNNY SEAGULL & THE HOT CHIPS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON ANN :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONGO BONES & THE BAREFOOT BANDITS :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOSHUA JAMES MORPHETT :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JULIETTE SEIZURE & THE TREMOR DOLLS :: JUMP OVER FENCES :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUNIOR V :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: JUST DESSERTS :: KAB SAVVY :: KACEY STEPHENSEN :: KAHL WALLIS :: KÁLI SAVILL :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KATIE BRIANNA :: KATIE MILLER :: KATIE POMERY :: KAURNA CRONIN :: THE KAVS :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: KEMP BROTHERS :: KETTERING :: KHAN :: KIAN :: KICKASS COWGIRLS :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLED BY CUPID :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KILLING CENTRE :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING JEFF & THE HOW ARE YOUS :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGS WITHIN :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KLLO :: KOI CHILD :: KOLEH :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KOSHER SALAMI :: KOTARA :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KUČKA :: KURRULTA PARK :: KURT VILE :: KYLE CHARLES HALL :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYM RÖBEY & THE DEVIL'S LETTUCE :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: L.R. MARSH :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LACHY BRUCE :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: LAST THYLACINE :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT LIES :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAUREN ABINERI :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEAD WORM :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEAF & STEM :: LEFT :: LEFT ON SEEN :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LIVE SLUG REACTION :: LEITH JAMES :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMMINGS :: LEMURIAN :: LENI :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LEX MONSERRAT :: LICKITY SPLIT :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILAC COVE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILY ROSE :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LIMB KING :: LIMBS AKIMBO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE DUST :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LLAMAGEDDON :: LLEWELLYN THOMAS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LOFTY MOUNTAIN BAND :: LOLA :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONELYSPECK :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOOCH :: LOON LAKE :: LOOPOLE :: LORDE :: LOREN KATE :: LOS PALMS :: LOST COSMONAUT :: LOST IN TRANSLATION :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUIS FARK :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LOVES :: LUCI :: LUCINDA GRACE :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUCY THE BAND :: LUCY ZOLA :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMENS :: LUMONICS :: MABIINA PARTY :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MADURA GREEN :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: THE MAGGIE PILLS :: MAGIC BONES :: MAGIC MOUNTAIN :: THE MAGNETS :: MAISIE :: MAISIE B :: MAJOR SHADE :: MAKING :: MALLRAT :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: THE MAN HIMSELF :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANNEQUIN DEATH SQUAD :: MANNIX :: MANOR :: MANSIONAIR :: MÄNTRÄ :: THE MARABY BAND :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARK CURTIS & THE FLANNELETTES :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASEGO :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: THE MATEHS :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MATT WARD DUO :: MATT WARD & THE RISING SONS :: MATT ZENGERER :: MAUVE :: THE MAX HEADROOM :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MELLOW YELLOW :: MELTON PEACH :: MEMORY CASTLES :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: THE MERCY KILLS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZA, ROACH & HOG :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICHAELA JENKE :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDDLE KIDS :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MIDNIGHT MARES :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS OHIO :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MODERN DAY RIOT :: MODERN RELICS :: MOGERLAINE :: MOLLY ROCKET :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: THE MONDAYS :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MONTES JURA :: MOODY BELLES :: THE MOON DIGITS :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: THE MORS :: THE MORS MODERN MYSTERY SEXTET :: MORTAL AMBITION :: MORTAL WOMBAT :: MOSES SUMNEY :: MOSHPIT GIRLFRIEND :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTION BELOW :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNT SELDOM :: MOUNTAIN SONGS :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: M.J. TURNER :: MR. INDUSTRY :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MULE :: MUM FRIENDS :: MUM THINKS BLUE :: MUMS FAVOURITE :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: THE MUNCH :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: THE MUSHNIKS :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY CHÉRIE :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: MYSTERY SEA CREATURE :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NANCY BATES :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NATHAN MAY :: NATHANAEL ROTHWELL :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NELD :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEON TETRA :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW LIFE ODYSSEY :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NEWGATE CROWD :: NICK MURPHY ::THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICK VULTURE :: NICKER TEENS :: NICŌ SAKŪRASŪKÉ :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIGHT RITES :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NINA MCCANN :: NIPSLIP :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO LEMMIN :: NO NO NO NO NO :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: NOCTURNAL ANIMALS :: NONA MONA :: NORMAL BEHAVIOUR :: NOT FOR HUMANS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NTH RD :: NUCLEAR FAMILY :: THE NURSERY - BABY DRAG NIGHT :: NUSEUM :: NUSSY :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: OATH OF DAMNATION :: OCEAN ALLEY :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OIL! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OKO :: OLD MATE :: OLIVER CARR'S CARR ACCIDENT :: OLIVER TREE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLIE ENGLISH :: OLLIE KABBANI :: OLLY HOLMES :: OMERTIA :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONLY OBJECTS :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: ORELIA :: ORIANE & KALIOPI :: ORPHAN OF KOS :: OSCAR THE WILD :: THE OSCILLATORS :: OSH10 :: OUTSIDE LINES :: OVERVIEW EFFECT :: OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: THE PACKETS :: PAGAN :: PAIGE RENEE COURT :: PALACE OF THE KING :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANACEA :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PAPER SNORKEL :: PAPER SUNSETS :: PARADES :: PARADISE CLUB :: PARTY :: PARTY DOZEN :: PAT THE RAT :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PAUL KELLY :: PEACH FUR :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PEANUT BUTTER CRACK BABIES :: PEARL TIZZIE :: PELVIS :: PEMBERTON :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERFECT PUSSY :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: PEST CONTROL :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: PETER COMBE :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHI THEODOROS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIERS DIPROSE :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK DUKE :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINK WASABI :: PINKISH BLU :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PIPE GUY :: PIPE GUY VS BUCK IT :: PIRATE COWBOY :: PIST IDIOTS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PITY LIPS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: PLACEMENT :: PLAGUE KEEPER :: PLANET CACTUS :: PLANET OF THE 8S :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: THE PODS INTERROBANG :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLADROIDS :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: PONYTAIL KINK :: THE POP-UPS :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: PORCHLIGHT PARADE :: PORT HONEY :: POST DEATH POST :: POWER SPRITES :: PREHISTORIC DOUCHE :: THE PRESETS :: PRESTON'S HISTORIC PUNCH & JUDY SHOW :: PRETTY UGLY :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: PROBLEMS :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PRO-TOOLS :: THE PROPHETS OF IMPENDING DOOM :: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN CRUMPETS :: PSYCHIC 5 :: PSYCHO DEREK & THE RE-ISSUES :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUBLIC HOLIDAY :: THE PUBLIC SERVANTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PURÉE :: PURITY RING :: PURR :: PUT DOWNS :: PSYCHOBABEL :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUARTZ PISTOL :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEBEC ECHO :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: QUIET TRAMSTOP :: RACCOON CITY :: RACHEL CEARNS :: RACHEL CEARNS & THE VALKYRIES :: RADIANT CITY :: RADICALS :: RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! :: RADIO STAR :: RADIX :: RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE :: THE RAGING POPULATION :: RAINDROP :: RAMA RAMA :: RAPID TRANSPORT :: RAPSCALLION :: THE RAPTURE :: RAT CATCHER :: RAT TA'MANGO :: RAUCOUSTRA :: RAURY :: THE RAVEONETTES :: RAY MANTA :: THE READYMADES :: THE REAL MAC :: REALIST FEW :: REALM :: RED APPARITION :: RED COATS :: RED DESERT OCEAN :: THE RED EARTH BLUES BAND :: RED INK :: THE RED PAINTINGS :: RED SEA :: THE RED SUN BAND :: REGIONALS :: REGULAR JOHN :: REGURGITATOR :: RELYING ON LUCK :: REJUSA :: THE REMEMBERZ :: RENDEZVOUS WITH RAMA :: THE REPROBETTES :: REPTILES :: RETRIEVER :: REVERSES :: REX ORANGE COUNTY :: RICH DAVIES & AYLEEN O'HANLON :: RICH DAVIES & THE LOW ROAD :: RICHARD BECK GROUP :: RICHARD IN YOUR MIND :: RICKY ALBECK & THE BELAIR LINE BAND :: RICKY KICKONS ALLSTAR JAM :: RICOCHET PETE :: RIDE INTO THE SUN :: RIFFWRATH :: RIN MCARDLE :: RIN & THE RECKLESS :: RINCON :: RINGO STALIN :: RIOT RUNNERS :: RIPCORD :: RISEMANN :: RITES WILD :: RIVER OF SNAKES :: RMJ :: ROAD WINGS :: ROB EDWARDS :: ROBOTOSAURUS :: ROCKET SCIENCE :: THE ROCKETEERS :: ROCKY'S PRIDE & JOY :: ROGER THAT :: ROGUE ROMANTIC :: THE ROLLBACKS :: THE ROLLERCANES :: ROLLING BLACKOUTS COASTAL FEVER :: ROMANA ASHTON & THE REEDS :: RON THE OX :: THE ROOFTOPS :: ROOK :: RORY O'CONNOR :: ROSE CLOUSEAU :: ROSEMONT :: ROSS DE CHENE HURRICANES :: ROTE MARE :: ROWENA :: ROYAL BLOOD :: THE ROYAL GALA :: ROYAL HEADACHE :: THE RUBENS :: RUBY FIELDS :: RULE OF THIRDS :: THE RULES :: RUN THE JEWELS :: RUNEBILLY RATTLE :: RUNNING WITH HORSES :: RUNNING WITH SCISSORS :: RUNZELSTIRM & GURGLESTOCK :: RURU 432 :: RURU 432 & NU ARTICLE :: RUSSIA :: RUSSIAN TEAMMATE :: RYAN MARTIN JOHN :: RYAN MEEKING & THE FEW :: RYAN OLIVER :: SACRED SHRINES :: SAILMAKER :: SAILORS AND SWINE :: SAINT HUCK :: SAINT JACQUES :: SAINT JACQUES DUO :: THE SALVADORS :: SAM PAGE :: SAM WOOLFORD :: SAMPA THE GREAT :: SAN CISCO :: THE SAN SEBASTIAN :: SARAH BLASKO :: SARAH CHADWICK :: SASHA MARCH :: SASHA MARSH & THE DAWNHORSE :: SASKWATCH :: SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS :: SATIN HAREM :: SATIN SUN :: SAUL WILLIAMS :: SAVAGES :: SAVING SAVANAH :: SAWCY PAWS :: THE SCARE :: THE SCARFS :: THE SCARLET IVES :: SCHOOL OF RADIANT LIVING :: THE SCOUNDRELS :: SCREAMFEEDER :: SCREAMING GIBBON :: SE BON KI RA :: THE SEA THIEVES :: SEA URCHIN & ALLIES :: SEABASS :: SEABELLIES :: SEAMUS ANTHONY :: SEAN DESMOND :: SEAN KEMP :: SECRETS IN SCALE :: SEEKAE :: SERAPHINA SINCLAIR :: SERENDIPITY :: SERGIO MIMOSA & THE BING BANG BOOM FIVE :: THE SERRA :: SEVENTEEN FIFTY SEVEN :: SEX ON TOAST :: SEX WIZARD :: SEX UNCLE :: SEXUAL DAD :: THE SEXY BOYS BLUES BAND :: THE SHADOW LEAGUE :: THE SHADOW MINISTERS :: SHADOWQUEEN :: THE SHAHS :: THE SHAKE UP :: SHAMAN EYES :: SHAMAN SON :: THE SHAMBOLICS :: SHAME SPIRAL :: SHAME :: SHANGHAI WENDY :: SHANGRILA :: THE SHAOLIN AFRONAUTS :: SHAPES DIVIDE :: SHARK IN THE DARK :: SHE SAID YOU :: SHE'S THE BAND :: SHILOH :: THE SHINE :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS :: SHIVERS :: SHODASHI :: SHOJI HANO :: SHORT GILLIGAN :: SHY RHINO :: SIAMESE :: SIANNA LEE :: SIBERIAN TIGER :: SIDEWALKS :: S.I.G.I.T. :: SILENT DUCK :: THE SILENTS :: SIMON & JENNY :: SIMON ABERLE :: SIMPLE PLEASURES :: SIN CITY :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY :: SIR GERBIL :: SISTER ROSE :: SITARA :: THE SKATEGOATS :: THE SKELETON CLUB :: SKELETONS :: SKIES :: SKINPIN :: SKIPPING GIRL VINEGAR :: SKYBOMBERS :: SKYLA :: SKYTHIEF :: SKYE HARBOUR :: SLAMAGOTCHI :: SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY :: SLEEP PARADE :: SLEEP TALK :: SLEEPTALKER :: THE SLEEPY JACKSON :: SLICK ARNOLD :: SLICKER DRIPS :: SLINGSHOT DRAGSTER :: SLIPPERY PEOPLE :: THE SLOE RUIN :: SLOWDIVE :: SLOWMANGO :: SLOWLY SLOWLY :: SLY HATS :: SMALL AFFAIRS :: SMASHING PUMPKINS :: SMILE :: THE SMITH STREET BAND :: THE SMITHS vs RADIOHEAD :: THE SMOCKS :: SMOKE NO FIRE :: SMUDGE STAIN :: SNAKADAKTAL :: SNAP TO ZERO :: SNAPDRAGON :: THE SNOWDROPPERS :: SNOWMAN :: SO.CRATES :: ...SO YEAH :: SODA :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE :: SOJOURN :: SOMNIUM :: SOMNIUM DUO :: SOMMNIUM :: SONATINE :: THE SONGS OF TOM SMITH :: SONIC DEATH MONKEY :: SONS OF SERPENT :: SONS OF ZÖKU :: SOUR SOB :: SOURSOB BOB :: SOURSOP :: SOUTH FROM SOMEWHERE :: THE SOUTH SEASON :: SOUTHPAW :: SOUTHPOOR :: SOYLENT GREEN :: SPACE COYOTE :: SPACEY JANE :: SPANK ROCK :: SPARKSPITTER :: SPARTAK :: SPECIAL PATROL :: SPEED MACHINE :: SPIKE THE RIVER :: SPILT CITIES :: SPINDICKLE :: SPINE :: THE SPIRES :: SPORTS CAR :: SPOZ SPOZINGTON :: SQUARE :: SQUEAKER :: ST JUDES :: ST. LOKI :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: ST. VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STACY SAYS :: THE STAIN DRAINS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: STATE LIBRARY :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEFAN HAUK :: STELLIE :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: STICKY BEAK :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STISSED :: STOKES :: STONE EYES :: STONEFIELD :: STONEGRILL :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STORMHORSE :: STORMY-LOU :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: THE STRAIGHT-JACKET TAILORS :: STRAWBRY BLONDE :: STREET LEGAL :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: STRIPES. :: THE STRIPP :: STU DANIELS :: STURT AVENUE :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUGAR TONGUE :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: THE SUNDAY REEDS :: THE SUNDIALS :: THE SUNDIALS PODCAST :: SUNDOWNER :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSET CITIES :: SUNSETTLER :: SUNSICK DAISY :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: SUPERDOSE GANGWAY :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERGRÜÜP :: SUPERPHATASS :: SUPERSONIC TUMBLEWEED :: SURES :: SURF! TERROR! PANIC! :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAMP KITTEH :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET BLUES :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWEET GOLD :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORD IN STONE :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYCAMORE :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABLOIDS :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TANYA FROM HR :: TAPE/OFF :: TAPLEYS HILL :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: TEDDY MARS :: TEDDY MARS (SOLO) :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGE JOANS :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA AXIS :: TERRA FIRMA :: TGBRANDENBURG TRIO :: THANES :: THEE OH SEES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THIS WAY NORTH :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: THOM LION :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMA & THE HUMBUGS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THROWAWAY :: THUNDER SPEAKS :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIAN HANCOCK :: TIERSMAN :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: TIL THE BREAK :: TILES :: TILLARY :: TIM KOCH :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TIMBERWOLF :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THE TITS :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD FOGARTY :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONES AND I :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOB SCOOTS :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOUGH UNCLE :: TOWNHOUSE :: TOWNS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREEHOUSE CASINO :: TREEHOUSES :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: TRICK SHOT :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIS BEAUMONT :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TROLDHAUGEN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUE HOLIDAY :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUCKSHOP :: THE TULLAMARINES :: TULSA :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: TV THERAPY :: TWICE LICHEN :: TWIN DECOY :: TWINE :: TWITCH :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TXMX :: TY ALEXANDER :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYMPANO :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: THE UGLY KINGS :: UK SPECIAL :: UKULELE DREAM GIRL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URBAN YOUTH :: URTEKK :: USER :: UTE ROOT :: THE VAINS :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: VELVET CHASE :: VELVET SNOW :: VELVET VOID :: VENICE QUEENS :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTILATION EPISODE :: VENTOLIN :: VENTOLYN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: VERZANSKI :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLET HARLOT :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WAGONS :: WALKING WITH THIEVES :: WANDERERS :: WALTER MARSH :: THE WAR ON DRUGS :: WAR ROOM :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WAYNE'S LUMBER :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: WEEKEND RAGE :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON :: WHAT SO NOT :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WHITE SUMMER :: WILD OATS :: WILD ROCKET :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: WILLIAM LEE :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: WILLIS DRUMMOND :: WINDOW SHOPPING :: WING DEFENCE :: WINGFIELD :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: THE WINTER GYPSY TRIO :: WINTER MOON :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WITCH HUNT :: WITCH SPIT :: WOE :: WOLF & CHAIN :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLF ALICE :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: WONDERWALLS JAM BAND REVIVAL BAND :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WREN & THE RESTLESS FEW :: WREN BELLETTE TRIO :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX:: YANKEE MACHINE :: THE YARBLES :: YEASAYER :: THE YELLOW WALLPAPER :: YO :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG LIONS :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUR LOYAL HEARTLESS :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZAC EICHNER :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZEN PANDA :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN :: ZOE SALT ::

:: Wednesday, March 18, 2009

THE BARONS OF TANG + GOD GOD DAMNIT DAMNIT + COLONEL KERNEL
LIVE @ THE JADE MONKEY / Saturday March 14th 2009

I know I've said it all before, but it's true. Progress is a myth. Evolution works both ways. The industrial revolution, now well into post production, has been proven to be nothing but smoke and mirrors; a trick of the eye. The tide is turning back the clock, it's rising up to our ankles now. No amount of director's commentary can save this sinking ship, the rats are drowning. Turns out the canary in the coalmine didn't much care for the Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl may keep on swinging, but this bird's already swung well off its perch. The only inevitable truth we can count on now is entropy. It's a Great Depression seasonally adjusted with a lump sum figure, a spoonfull of sugar to chase the tumours away. I know I've said it all before but it bears repeating. Back then it was a distant roar, a sonic boom through a THX soundsystem and a rapturous applause when the curtains fell. "Wow that Roland Emmerich sure knows how to Disney the fuck out've the apocalypse!". It's a different story now when you find it pooping on your lawn, doing burnouts in the driveway, or setting up shop at your bedroom window, marshmallows at the ready, waiting for it all to burn. "Farenheit 451 and up it goes.. what a rush!". We lost the western front last night. It happened all too soon, I'm still feeling the aftershocks. Roaming gangs with clubs and spears (and broken guitars) are pillaging and looting as I speak, picking the bones clean, carrying away the spoils. Memorabilia and merchandise, be sure to pick up a Zeta EP! They'll need them where they're going, I wish them well, but I need to be somewhere else tonight. Far away from their gnashing teeth and their wailing, their shrieking and their funeral veils. Maybe here at the Jade Monkey? This monastic retreat nestled between the mole hills away from the mall. Here's where we can surely ride out this storm? Zac's got plenty of beer and bar snacks: what more could we want!? But they're coming! oh yes, they're coming! It'll be just like Helm's Deep, you'll see! All we need is Gandalf, a Dwarf and an Elf who can actually act and maybe we'll even live to see the dawn!



9:18PM - Still, Zac's no stranger to the seething stampedes, or the seige mentality. Those bars on the windows aren't just for show. He's fended off countless invasions from Diplomat, Double Handed, Skye Harbour, shitcrazy wall-of-noise Free Jazz Trios, even Radio Spectacular!!! and he keeps coming back for more. Yup, I'm more than certain that I picked the right place tonight: it's worked for Shaun Of The Dead, it's worked wonders for Zac too. Exits easily guarded, doors bolted, crossbows loaded, boiling oil and flame throwers at the ready, I can rest easy and watch the faerie lights twinkle without a care in the world! See that keyboard grazing like a gazelle? See those guitar cases snuggled in the undergrowth below? Sweet tranquility! But alas it is just but a trick of the eye. Those barbarians are coming, and they'll stop at nothing to burn it all to the ground!



COLONEL KERNEL (****1/2) myspace ::
Still, I never thought I'd see it in the Jade Monkey. A place ripe with bohemian, bauhaus and boozy eloquence. "In Vino Veritas" all mixed up with beer and a few "incense sticks" out back? I've even seen weddings hosted here, it's a magical place of myth and wonder! But tonight those lights are winking out one by one; and most notably the signature "red". At first I thought it was nothing but a mischievous prank on part of their proprieter Zac: ever the trickster, making me play laser tag in the dark. But no.. this is something else altogether, this was a classic guerilla warfare tactic if ever I saw one. The first thing to go in a war is the communications network that surrounds you and he's got the upperhand here, he's got the fog of war in full effect (and it's just as well I know the lay of the land). Shooting in absolute pitch? *pffft* that's nothing I can't handle! When it comes to Colonel Kernel, the darkness suits them well! Lends a poetic air to the sounds they weave, a "calm before the storm" if you will; heightening one sense at the expense of the other. Yup, think of this band as a roaring 20's Speak-Easy meets a 60's Ratpack. A 50's Three Little Bops cartoon meets one from the 70's voiced by Billy Cosby. Or a late 80's Pink Floyd meets mid 90's acid jazz and downtempo. All the songs here mingle into one, like smoke, like following freshly brewed coffee down a Parisian dark alleyway. The shapes blur and swap hemispheres in your brain. It's synaesthesia. You could throw in just about anything here and it would stick to form the collage that you'd understand as Colonel Kernel in your head. I can hear Faith No More's bossa nova grooves from "King For A Day / Fool For A Lifetime", the ska abrupt collisions found in The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, the frenzied hiphop riffs of Red Snapper's "Making Bones", the spastic jazz of Propellerhead's "Crash", "History Repeating" and "Spybreak", a teensy bit of Mark Ronson, The Doors and a good deal of Quentin Tarentino; effortlessly cool with a sly sense of humour. It's utterly unlike anything else we'll be hearing tonight (and the crowds filling this venue to the brim in various states of dystopian disarray sure as shit is hinting on it), but Colonel Kernel are a sightless sound no less welcoming. I need a mad whiff of this shit, like the smell of napalm in the morning: to give me strength for the challenges aheads; all the way up that river and without a paddle!











10:39PM - Yup, we saw them filing in one by one during Colonel Kernel's set, and we all knew who they came here for. They were an aggregate army assembled enmasse with the vague colour and consistency of gravel. I saw shoeless hippies, derelicts, squatters, buskers and aimless drifters. Tie dyed, cheese cloth, tooth decay, sporadic hair loss: matted with mange or lice (or quite by design) they decorated themselves. I saw heads shaved, tattoed, warts, horns, pierced, dredlocks like padawans or exploding into afros. I saw culture jamming commune dwellers, ferals, freaks and granola geeks reared by wolves. Prison guard lesbians, vegans, neo-pagans and techno savages they screamed "off-the-grid". Spitting on walls, smashing bottles and butting cigarettes into the floor they made their presence felt. Leave a bowl of fresh fruit out in the open, fix a timelapse camera and you'll see the colours bloom. Place civilisation under the exact same microscope and you would see this: society's endgame. Yup, if you ever wondered what we'd all be like this same time NEXT year? George Miller only got it half right with Mad Max 2: THIS is the terrifying reality..



GOD GOD DAMNIT DAMNIT (***1/2) myspace ::
Yup, this is a live band like no other you'd ever experience in Adelaide. It more resembles the slums of Calcutta than anything I'd ever seen after four years of arts school. And yet THIS is the dedicated audience they attract in droves everywhere they go, they're a following: part suicide cult, part religion, part Night Of The Living Dead. They swarm in from all the cracks of the earth. They fill the room whole, till there's nowhere to go, nowhere to run, and then they tear the place apart inside and out and devour it whole like white ants. This wasn't the first time we've met in battle either. I got a taste of it back in December at the Fasterlouder Xmas Party: back then it was a bit of a laugh seeing them up on stage, a mad thrill, I got heiniously drunk, jumped on stage and fuckit.. I joined in! The second time for "The Last Show Of '08" however, it was an entirely different story. It was like they pressed a button in the ceiling, blades started spinning and then the shit hit the fan, and seeing them again tonight and it's not hard to see why! I apologise in advance for all this flash photography: there's just no other way around it, forget all that I've said about either Tony Font Show or even Robotosaurus, THIS is war. God God Damnit Damnit. In the loosest caricature they're quite like you'd imagine the human race as portrayed by an alien race: as an antagonistic swarm, a virus, or an all devouring planetwide plague. It's next to impossible to count just how many band members there are on stage: anywhere from eleven to fourteen depending on where you lost count. There's a three piece trombone section, a two piece saxophone section, countless guitarists, multiple drummers, it's fullblown bedlam, it's an undeniable stench! Visually it most resembles that Michel Gondry video to "Ride" by The Vines featuring all those musicians exploding in duplicate. Sonically it most resembles a thousand ipods, every one of channeling Mike Patton's personality disorders playing at once, System Of A Down's Serj Tankian in full flight complete with a horn section, an explosive bout of tourette's or Tony Font Show replicating on a mad tab of acid. It violently jerks from one insane extreme to the next, without warning, whiplash abrupt, stabbing horns, buzzing guitars, ear piercing screams, spit sprays, ska riffs, thrown beer bottles, and a crowd that'll throw you three metres into a speaker stack scattering schrapnel, or teleport you halfway through a wall. I don't think I've ever been more terrified, wishing I was anywhere but here.. and yet loving every minute of it! I couldn't escape it, I couldn't fight it. Within moments Zac had thrown up that white flag, posted that "sold out" notice on the door and hoped like hell the quarantine would hold. I'd hardly call any of it music but I still won't forget it in a hurry. How the hell my camera lens didn't get ground into dust in this shit is beyond me!?













12:05AM - Surely that was the best and worst of it tonight. Surely such a crass display of compound skull fracturing, lung puncturing, punching, stabbing, eyeball gouging and full frontal lobotomising was more than enough. There was at least a hundred in here, maybe more. You couldn't sneeze, breathe or blink without causing the imminent deaths of at least five people around you. The entire room was a mosh, even all the way to the back of the room and upto the bar. At this point you might as well unzip and piss on the floor, you weren't going anywhere (and I'm pretty sure that many did just that). This was hell on earth. The Louisiana Superdome: days after Hurricane Katrina. I was hallucinating something fierce. I swear former Guantánamo Bay detainee David Hicks and an umpa lumpa were both in attendance: he was three foot tall, had a forest green smurf hat and wore a bushy black lincoln beard and as for the umpa lumpa!? Woweee.. headspins! Bearded ladies, fire breathers, stilt walkers and contortionists!? there was a definite carnie folk element developing here. Maybe it's just the asphyxiation talking. The air's sucked out of this room quicker than it's being replaced. The good news: death will come swiftly. The bad news: it also meant there'd be no "fuel" left to burn all the bodies. This is how Zombie Outbreaks begin: and stupid me I had to find myself in the epicentre of it!? oooh fuuuck!



THE BARONS OF TANG (****) myspace ::
And then our headliners hit the stage and we knew it was all on for young and old. Any hopes for objectivity and journalistic integrity are long gone now (as lets face it I was pretty loose with both to begin with). We could unleash any manner of utterly crass 21st century cliches in effort to dismiss them; but I believe that "sinking sensation" that the Roman Empire must have felt over sixteen hundred years ago sums this band up quite nicely. We know them all by name: Huns, Vandals, Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Franks, Jutes, Saxons, Angles, Avars, Vikings, Orcs, Goblins, Gnomes, Leprecauns, Scientologists and Sock Puppets; their terror is absolute and their living weapon is The Barons Of Tang! For some entirely inexplicable reason they also hail from the exact same city that every other raping, pillaging and plundering miscreant (metaphorical or otherwise) derive their perverse pleasure from: Melbourne, just across the border. And yes I have completely unsubstantiated evidence to back me up: it's the exact same source that Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds, Grinderman, Baseball (I believe this video speaks for itself), Sailors Of Swine and Rocket Science all derive their volatile energy from. Part convict heritage, part history of organised crime, part shit awful weather and hilarious ethnic exaggeration. In Melbourne they truly spew up bands like no other, bands that'll make you cough up diesel from your lungs and spit blood from your ears: the colours, the noise, the urge to stab someone in the neck like nothing else? and if you think for a moment this is merely a spat of interstate rivalry? we're Adelaide, we're all serial killers, we make children disappear all the time: let's be friends! The Barons Of Tang. They call themselves "gypsy deathcore", which pretty much nails it. Think a Frankenstein's monster of traditional Irish, Jewish, Polish and Russian folk, polka and zydeco all mashed up together with a slamming drill seargent punk brutality. In amongst all the screaming and wolf howls however you also pick up some strangely familiar gene sequences: The Simpsons theme, Inspector Gadget, Pulp Fiction and for some utterly batshit insane reason a little bit of The Beatles as well. All realised in saxophone, tuba, flute, double bass, piano accordian, fiddle and trashcan percussion. I may be tripping balls though. It's hard to make out the details, the crowd makes short work of that. It's just like sticking your head in a rock tumbler, your phone starts ringing and then the whole roof collapses. Love it or hate it you can't help but move like a madman to it, if only to get the FUCK out've the way of the nearest and dearest looking to connect their fist with your face!









And yet all of a sudden it happened, an experience very much akin to ears "popping" to cabin pressure (or more accurately I was struck with a mad case of "Stockholm Sydrome") and it all became so clear! The crowds once so viralent in their random sequencing of punches, kicks, stabs, eye gouging, and pogo-ing through the walls suddenly became ever so vibrant, like predictive text to me. I had the "rosetta", I figured out the sequence, they spelt out words to me. Here! I have a string of them: "FUCK SHIT FISTING BALLS C*NT SPHINCTER DONKEY!". Yeah I know! I didn't make a helluva lot of sense to me either but it's a start! So, to hell with it: I took the flash off my camera, I took a deep hit of what little oxygen was left and delved right into the depths of it. Sure it was fucking hostile, brutal, extreme (and occassionally smelt like hickory and smoked ham) but I dare say it was fucking awesome! If ever you've played Grand Theft Auto and spent an hour gleefully exploding cop cars with a shotgun, taking down choppers with a rocket launcher or standing on a highrise building with a sniper rifle playing "ooops, where'd that head go!?" and STILL manage to be a fully functioning member of society? then you'll understand just where I'm coming from. It's a thin line I know but I was surfing it all the same to sweet sweet freedom!









1:03AM - And then a good half an hour or so later I walked out that door more or less unscathed! Don't ask me how the FUCK that happened, there's just some things that don't bear explaining: short of an incident involving an HB pencil, a place where that an HB pencil has no rights in being, "Luxembourg.. huh, what!? I don't know what you're talking about?", and a blowtorch. But we're out've there now and that's all that matters! Let's never speak of this EVER again! Just like it's anyone's guess how Zac managed to empty out that venue in record time using nothing but a fistful of paper "currency", a few dozen foamy ales and nothing but a thank you? Fuuuck he's just like Gandhi! Who knew that simply "paying the bands" at the end of the night would shortfuse this volatile shitstorm and spare us this magical monastery of music for another night running!? YEAAAS! No wonder the Jade Monkey is one of the maddest joints to smoke in all of Adelaide!



1:38AM - Speaking of such, as clearly there's a segue in here somewhere (and it likely hinges on whether people STILL smoke copious amounts of marijuana!?) we find ourselves at The Exeter. You may ask: "why the Exeter!?", and I might respond with "what's that over there!?" before beating you upside the head with the blunt end of a fire extinguisher (weird, there always seems to be one at arm's length whenever I make that punchline). Yup, the Exeter, quite like the Jade Monkey before, is a sanctuary. You won't find just any 'ol low brow neanderthals snuffling about here.. hell no! THIS is the "Worldsend of the East", the "Adelaide Uni Bar of the South" the "Flinders Tavern of the North", the underground railroad to the undergraduate intellectual elite! We must cling to these safe havens: the lights are going out all around us, IQ levels are dropping, we must keep those fires burning! (progress can STILL be made in solving at least some of the world's many imminent catastrophes!). Which is exactly what we did when we got here: we "kept those fire burning" until we accidently set the beer garden alight instead, only to realise we'd lost that fire extinguisher and now we're all fucked, because clearly there's no OTHER way to put out a fire, in a bar that's full of.. aaaah fuck! let's just get the hell out of here while we still can!



2:17AM - In our infinite wisdom it was decided we should turn our focus westward instead. Clearly we'd done more than enough damage on THIS side of town tonight and I'm told it always pays to "brown" both sides equally. Thus we journeyed through Rundle Street, Rundle Mall and then Hindley Street in search of our answers only to discover THIS instead. You may have heard or read of this on the news or in the papers: this is Adelaide's social experiment to solve Hindley Street's "escalating" crime problem. Close off a section east of Morphett Street? and then make it all into a mini pedestrian mall so all these drunks can roam freely and picks fights on the street in front of members of the public!? Brilliant! And as much as it solves absolutely next to nothing, it does neatly illustrate just how much society at large has lowered its expectations of "humanity" in the last few weeks. As you can clearly see: on one side of this street we have state-of-the-art facilities where one can squat, drop one's pants and take a crap in comfort and on the other side we have a fresh line of portaloos. Genius.. it's the ultimate recycling solution: it's Soylent Green!




2:18AM - Yup, you don't need to tell ME that we need to do everything in our utmost to reduce our "carbon footprint" and this truly is the smartest way we can go (or more accurately the "smartest" us chimps could ever dream up) but like all bright ideas, there's always going to be critics. Take Sascha here and his disapproving tone.. "UH OH! what on Earth will we do!?". Not to matter though, we can simply chuck him into the "food processors" (wait.. which ONE do we choose from though!? I'm all confused now!) and then tell everyone that he took an indefinite trip to "London". It worked like a charm for Patrick Bateman in American Psycho and it'll sure as shit work for us too. Oh well, so long Sascha.. I really hope you find all that you're looking for on "the other side of the world". *shit* is that sirens I hear!? damn I knew I should've pulled those teeth out first!! RUUUUUN!!



2:23AM - Aaaaah y'know what? I've truly lost count of the number of times I've used THIS place as my hideout from the law. Sure we may be here almost every other week, but did you know that: (a) it's lead lined and reinforced with six inch concrete and steel walls in the event of a nuclear attack? (b) it houses its own dedicated air filtration system to protect it from biological or chemical attack (or from Brett and Jock Jacob's "whimsical" odours)? (c) it's been more or less "zombie free" since that outbreak of November 2008? and (d) the bouncers never ask you any of those "silly questions" you get at any of the OTHER Hindley Street hotspot like: "what's that smell?", "why are you wearing that gasmask!?" or "heeeey.. where'd you get that snazzy ziplock bag and all those neato scalpels and surgical saws!?". Aaaah Supermild security! so naive, so blissfully naive!



3:17AM - I dunno about you but I sure am peckish! and nothing quite satiates a hunger like a badly burnt helping of barely digestible pig gristle, testicle, anus and an extra special ingredient we simply like to call "miscellaneous".. mmhmmm! that subtle blend of salmonella and botulinum? so foamy on my tongue! *cough* Yup, and as much as I'd love to detail at large everything that we did in Supermild for the next two hours: who we did it to, and whether it simply involved "propping Sascha upright" whilst we threw beer bottles at his head (oh relax.. like as IF Sascha will ever read this!?). But until that courtcase is resolved we'd best not divulge anything further. Or at least not until we can figure out which band member from Lyla has any legal training or whether we can just get Jock Jacobs to sleep with a supreme court judge instead. Wait.. why are you looking at me like that!? I know all about the "legal system" in South Australia.. I went to private school yo!



4:40AM - Hours later, it dawns on me that perhaps my actions tonight (or pretty much any other night for that matter) are no better than the "animals" I choose to make fun of. Maybe it's a sign of the times, or maybe it's a literal "sign" of the times: a yellow traffic sign, and it's pointing all over the place and I'm too drunk to decipher it right now. Left? right? in some kind of swirly clockwise / anti-clockwise direction? give or take the actions of the correalis effect.. fuck I dunno!? Maybe we're just too stupid to figure this all out? we are ONLY human afterall! Let's just sit this one on the bench, leave the fates to decide, and when the Earth's poles finally flips out (oh wait.. they didn't mention we're imminent for one of those too!?) we'll simply live in the tropics in what was once Antarctica and start it all over again. I suggest we farm lots of penguins! who's with me!?



I swear it's all getting a little too visceral, too immediate, too up in our faces: we can smell the death on its breath, breathing down our necks. Progress is a myth. Evolution works both ways. And right now it's falling down those stairs and it's knocking its head on every rung, all the way down to the bottom. It's going to get a whole lot worse before it's gets any better, at least that's what they keep telling us and yet I wonder: wasn't it fucked up to begin with? did it ever change? maybe we're just lying to ourselves about all this economic "growth"? and maybe we're nothing but the same defective DNA that got us all into this mess in the first place. Fuckit, we all started out with nothing, we still got most of it left.. before it all goes to shit again, let's make the most of it!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Lumonics + Zeta / Final Farewell Show

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
...

Bookmark and Share