The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
ST JEROME'S LANEWAY FESTIVAL 2009 LIVE @ CITY WEST + FOWLERS LIVE / Saturday February 7th 2009
Gather round kiddies and let crazy 'ol Spoz tell you a little something about hangovers. I don't care if you're Boris Yeltsin, Iggy Pop, Pete Doherty, Courtney Love or Amy Winehouse I've seen it all. For over fifteen years (almost a drinking age in its own right.. wooooo!) I've gone toe to toe with the grumpy gorilla, prayed at the porcelain pulpit and danced the tango with the intestinal tornado. For all the braincells I've surely stunned, munted and bulldozed into oblivion over the years I've acquired a wealth of wisdom. It's true, there IS a cure! It's not "hair of the dog", it doesn't require raw eggs, tomato, an oyster shot or a hit of tabasco in a tumbler glass, I'm not advocating abstinence (and if I you say "straight-edge" I'm so gonna make you whiny little fuckers cry!). I don't have superpowers, I'm not a genetic anomaly, I'm just like you, there is a science to it: (a) stick to the same shit for at least the first five to six, (b) if you goon sack it.. you're a bloody idiot, (c) jägermeister IS the devil (ditto: west end draught, vodka, gin, anything served on a plastic tray at Shotz), (d) drink PLENTY of water before you pass out, (e) sleep it off (or in other words: everything Joe Blogs does do the EXACT opposite!) *BAM* take that Satan! It's awesome! I swear that shit works EVERY time! I wake up every evening-after feeling fucking a-grade! like Jesus H Christ on a Sunday! YEAAAS!! BOW AND SCRAPE BEFORE ME OH PITIFUL MORTALS, FOR AM LIKE A GOD TO YOU!! *cough* yup.. with the possible exception of whatever the HELL I did to myself last night *shit*. Far from it for me to bitch about the weather (it's summer.. so it goes without saying) but when you drink yourself retarded on a 42C night then collapse dead where there's no airconditioning and nothing but a teeny tiny desk fan (held together by blue-tac no less) to keep you from flip-flopping like a fish in a frying pan? duuude you're SO gonna get screwed!
2:55PM - So this is me crawling out of my coffin and howling at the sun, another day in paradise! I feel like I've been living on the International Space Station for a good eighteen months, floating in zero G, sucking down powdered meatshakes through a straw, I've just made landfall, my head's too big for my body and I'm playing pinball with the walls. Fuck! I'm a sea green post apocalyptic party machine! I'm pretty sure there was a music festival on today that I should've been at hours ago but I never bought that ticket. Maybe I'm flat broke, maybe it's too damn hot, maybe it's only been a week since the Big Day Out or maybe I'd simply seen most of the bands on that bill in the last few months anyways (and I really didn't care much for the rest) I forget the real reason.. fuck it all! My only real plan today past popping two panadol and plonking my fat arse on the couch cushions spacing out to some tunes was to catch Slumdog Millionaire (I've heard good things) then channel surf between the Ed Castle and Supermild all night.. why!? why the hell not? it's my blog damnit! But before all that maybe I'll go check my email. No harm done in that right!?
3:56PM - Oh maaan I SO gotta quit drinking! Damn you and your insane offer I can't possibly refuse! Yup, let this be a warning to anyone who's ever stupid enough to start their own live music blog; don't do it! Oh sure it's all kinds of hilarious fun partying with rock musicians every night, you get all these unemployed freaks and uni students recognising you in the street, they're all buying me drinks and aaaah.. fuckit you know what? there's no way I can justify any of what I'm about to tell you without sounding like I'm a complete and utter douchebag (ooops.. too late!). Suffice to say: stumbling arse backwards into what was quite possibly a sold out event for free that would've otherwise cost all YOU schlubs a few shaves short of a third digit fucking RULES!! I can't get enough of it (and you're so gonna come at me with knives for this shit aren't you!?).
5:09PM - And thus through the miracle of e-ticketing, painkillers, vitamin C, vegamite on toast, whatever the fuck they put in those green packets of Mi-Goreng (it's chicken flavoured crack.. right!?) enough sunscreen to bounce back an atomic bomb blast (if it's stupid enough to work for Stephen Dorff in the first Blade movie.. it'll work for me!) and I'm out the door! or at least I would've been if I'd actually jumped in the shower and bothered to put some clothes on first. Wow, aren't you glad I blogged all this shit!? I know I sure as hell am! private life? *cough* what private life!? let's make THAT into a facebook status update.. I bet everyone's dying to know!
5:47PM - So here we are at UNISA's City West campus. It's not exactly a laneway, an alleyway, an underpass (or even a bikelane that stops dead in the middle of oncoming traffic for no apparent reason other than to provide Adelaide motorists with a punching bag) but it sure beats the laughing stock that was Melbourne's "Lineway" Festival this year (and if you don't know what the fuck I'm on about read it and weep here). Shit yeaah, take THAT petty interstate rivalry!
In fact, they couldn't have planned it better in Adelaide if they tried. Not only did a cool change come sweeping through late in the morning moments before it began (aaaaah sweet relief!) but the organisers also solved that pesky "bottle neck" problem that plagued last year's Laneway with a simple move of the main stage. No more must we file toe to toe past thousands of arseholes for ten to fifteen minutes at a time just to move an inch. In fact since we're at Laneway Festival and NOT the Big Day Out there's no arseholes to begin with: no bogans, no dickheads, no fucknards, no racist goons waving Australian flags, no sweaty backs! (although there weren't exactly any shortage of posers, scensters and fashion tragics either). Yup, if ever you were planning to throw your very own "Wayne's World" in a field somewhere; take notes, this is how you'd do it!
Still to be perfectly honest I'm probably the last person you should ever ask about Laneway Festival this year. What the hell would I know!? I got in for free, I've only just stumbled in halfway through, I've already missed a whole host of awesome live acts: The Waterslides, Clue To Kalo, Fire! Santa Rosa Fire!, The John Steel Singers, Tame Impala, Yves Klein Blue, Born Ruffians, Holly Throsby and Cut Off Your Hands!? shit damn.. I'm such a fucking tourist here aren't I?
Oh and to make matters worse? moments after stumbling through the gates someone hands me one of these: a backstage "artist" pass and now I've got unlimited access to all the bottled water, redbull and beer I can get my grubby little hands on. Of course for the sake of anomynity I won't say WHO I stole it from, who it originally belonged to (or who's rider I'll spend the rest of the day pilfering with glee) because there's a good chance they'll be charged with third degree manslaughter the next time I leave the house and everyone pummels me with beer bottles..
Yup, as much as I'd rather "play it cool" and pretend dumb shit like this happens to me ALL the time, I believe THIS photo most accurately describes my reaction right now. duuude.. WTF!!??
TEMPER TRAP (****) myspace :: So here we are: first band for the day, or more accurately first band for the day for one as hilariously vitamin D deficient like myself. Still, I picked a damn good moment to make my entrance. Temper Trap? Fuck I love these guys! You may remember them for one of two memorable moments in Triple J's high rotation history. The first is "Sirens": so named for an experience not unlike fingernails dragged across a blackboard (or more accurately Fran Drescher being beaten with a fire extinguisher THEN dragged across concrete). The second is "Sweetest Disposition" their ever so blissfully serene and sea green My Morning Jacket'esque follow up. Thankfully live, they're everything you love about the second, and everything you soon forget about the first. They even suit the afternoon sun perfectly. You soon forget that hangover that's been brewing all day threatening to burst free from your skull like an enraged elephant. You look around you. The crowd's lapping it up, they have their arms outstretched, they're soaking up one uplifting anthem after another; aaaah there's no better place to be than right here and right now! That's Temper Trap. You also may occassionally question why Johnny their bass player holds his instrument up so ridiculously high (or what exactly that goofy bald freak is doing with that shaker) but when you have a sound this awesome, like all the bests bits of Bloc Party, TV On The Radio, My Morning Jacket, all those ecclectic percussion, those blissed out electronic tweakouts, those smooth sub tropical grooves you forgive such eccentricities. They've been building steam for years but methinks 2009 will truly be their moment in the sun. It appears to agree with them..
6:21PM - From the main Uni Stage it's off to the Fowlers Stage, and it appears that they're yet to catch up to that awesome cool breeze that's been whistling down the courtyard outside. To put it mildly, it's a stinker in here. It's just like this year's Green Stage at the Big Day Out all over again (and you needed scuba gear to get out of THAT one). Music festivals maaan.. they make you do some pretty dumb things: spend over half an hour forming a queue to the toilet, a queue for a hotdog, a queue to the bar for a beer you'll happily pay $6 for that's luke warm in a plastic cup, all so you can spend an entire day and night largely ambivalent about some live band that's soon blocked by (a) a camera phone, (b) some tall guy with an afro, (c) someone else's girlfriend up on their shoulders waving their arms about.. FUCK YEAAAH I love Festivals!! Which is why I'm more than happy to sweat it out in THIS sauna for half an hour, all for the chance to see..
MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY (***1/2) myspace :: Don't get me wrong this band IS well worth experiencing, even in the most hellish of conditions, especially if it's the first time you've ever seen them live. This is what music festivals are good for: discovering bands you've never heard of before, bands you wouldn't normally go see, bands you'd never got a chance to see anywhere else, bands that may very well change your life for the better. It's rather like wine tasting (or so I'd imagine): take a swig, swish it about for a while, see if you like the taste of it, come back for the bottle. You don't go here to get drunk, just to explore your options. And with that thought in mind there's a good chance that a good many people would've been won over by Mountains In The Sky and the set they played today. If you loved The Chemical Brothers' "Exit Planet Dust" from 1995, or DJ Shadow's classic "Entroducing" from 1996, or even Air's "Moon Safari" from 1997 (or fuckit just check out this youtube) then you would've loved this shit today. Blissed out rolling breakbeats and ecclectic electronica. Just like I was won over by the mindblowing set they played at Rocket Bar just a few months ago, back in November 2008. Yup, as ridiculously awesome as this sampling may've been to some of you today it's only a taste of what they're capable of; it just doesn't compare. Stuck in this stinking hot room, this humidity, this sauna, in the dark, squashed up against a cheese grater, to a so-so sound mix, during the day just doesn't cut it. And it's not just the crowd that's holding on for dear life either, the band's suffering through this madenning ordeal too. They're sweating bullets up there, those fans buzzing on stage are barely holding back the rising stench; but they're giving it all (they're even throwing a few spare waters in the crowd? legends!). And to top it all off their lead John Lee isn't just rocking that tennis pro schtick today with the white headband because he's making some joking reference to the hellish conditions at the Melbourne Open.. fuck no! it's because he gashed his freaking forehead open earlier this week.. yeeeouch! This is too much for anyone, go see them when they tour one of their OWN shows, and you'll understand just what you're missing here today!
STEREOLAB (***1/2) myspace :: Soon after Mountains In The Sky finished their set, stumbled off stage, and likely collapsed dead from all the heat exhaustion that comes from the arduous task of leaning over a console and pressing buttons for a good half an hour, it's out those exits and onto the next band (you'd think that's just me making a point about "electronic music" but trust me even attempting THAT shit was nothing short of damn near heroic!). Which now brings us to Stereolab. Wow, what can I say about Stereolab? no really I'm asking you, I don't have a freaking clue, help me out here people! I admit it, this is one of those bands. You stumble upon one of these at EVERY festival, one of those chance discoveries that catches you quite by surprise, the significance of which you'll only appreciate months or years later; at which point you'll kick yourself stupid for not paying enough attention to them in the first place. Stereolab. Granted I'd heard of the name before flitting in and out of my consciousness. I'd assume they were, fuck I dunno? English? Welsh? Scottish? from Glasgow? early 90's onwards? maybe they were some kinda shoegazer sadsack bastards to begin with but they've since crossed over into a territory similar to that which The Shins choose to exist in, cooking up a cornucopia of quirky indie fuzz pop, crossed with a cocktail lounge act!? yeah I'm waaaay off aren't I? I really don't even know what the FUCK I'm talking about do I? It's true, I know a whole lot less than you think, I'm more clueless than I'm ever willing to admit (just read that review I did on The Triffids tribute night if you want more damning evidence) but hey we all got to start from somewhere! If it wasn't for wikipedia and myspace covering my arse I'd just be embarassing myself! Stereolab. Soothingly bittersweet, lilting, uplifting, melodic.. fuck I dunno!? I'm running out've adjectives! Don't take it from me. There's no way I can write a review that could do them justice (but feel free to provide me with your own). Ask around, I sure did! I asked everyone around me to recommend ONE good album and they suggested at least six. I've heard two of them already and I'm going back for more! This shit's awesome! Thanks Stereolab. I've still haven't a clue who the hell you are but you sure as shit have me curious to find out!
THE DRONES (***) myspace :: And then there's this band.. "OOOH FUCK, not The Drones!?". Yup, this isn't the first time we've crossed paths, hell no.. that was almost three years ago when they played a set at Jive in April 2006. I remember them well, and as much as I like to keep an open mind on pretty much anything (duuude I have tastes so weirdly ecclectic even I don't know what I like anymore!) there was just something about the Drones that night that pissed me off. Maybe it was Gareth Liddiard wailing off-key like a bag of cats fighting, howling, shrieking, spitting, goading, gutteral punch drunk and delerious? Maybe it was the way he'd thrash about making pretzels, knee jerk reactions, twitchy, all kinds of bent out of shape? Maybe it was how he'd stab at his guitar with callous disregard, pulling black notes out of it: these endless neandering, thunderingly incoherent blues jams drowned in feedback and distortion!? It just remember it being an alienating, abrasive, tortuous ordeal. I'd probably dig that shit now, but then? I just wasn't ready for it: one arsehole strangling a chicken while the rest of the band just stands there rooted into place, entirely disinterested, staring off into space, like they weren't even there? I just didn't get it. Everyone has a pet hate and The Drones were definitely mine that night (maaan.. that voice STILL shits me!). But today I'm going to put all that behind me! It's been three years. A lot of people have said good things. Someone even told me just before the set: "trust me maaaan.. best damn rock band in the entire world.. you'll see!". I've gotta be CRAZY not to dig this shit.. right!? riiiight!?
And y'know what? they're not so bad now! They're definitely better than when I remembered them. Overall they remind me of Bob Dylan as performed by a redneck who beats up on his wife. That sounds nasty I know, but they do it exceptionally well. There's an element of The White Stripes, maybe a little bit of Nick Cave's The Birthday Party in delivery. It all smacks of smashed beer bottles, bar brawls and arseholes who get up in your face if you but glance at their girlfriend the wrong way; but they nail it. It spits blood, coughs up a lung and it owns this crowd from start to finish. They were a mischievous lot too, black humoured, cynical as fuck. Near the end they couldn't even stand the look of the crowd staring back at them, so on a whim they ordered everyone to turn around and face the back, which they did for an entire song. The Drones. I can't say for sure that I'm a fan but I can appreciate the insanity. They may just grow on me yet!
THE HOLD STEADY (**1/2) myspace :: I think at this point we may begin to understand why I didn't buy a ticket to this festival in the first place. It's awesome to come along for the ride (and it started off really well) but as we move further along and into the night its getting harder and harder to review. Some of these bands I know next to nothing about, others I know all too well thanks to Triple J's infamous high rotation effectively ruining it for me (take "Heart It Races" by Architecture In Helsinki for example, that shit's bordering on a UN human rights violation!). Which brings us to our next band The Hold Steady. Just like Stereolab before them I know next to nothing about them either. I've heard maybe an album ONCE (three or four years ago) and a passing reference to a song once or twice since, but that's it! Normally this wouldn't present a problem for me (if it were say a local band in a local venue playing to an audience of the equally clueless) but when they're an international touring act and you're surrounded by screaming fans all singing along to the lyrics.. you pretty much feel like a complete dick writing a review about it. Clearly I'm missing the point, I'm out of my depth, you know it, I know it.. so let's keep on digging! The Hold Steady. My first thought tonight is "gee Elvis Costello has gained a lot of weight!". OK that's a low blow and I apologise. So maybe think of them more as sounding like one of those late 90's bands out of the USA like The Mighty Mighty Bosstones minus the ska, or what you'd picture in your head if Jim Belushi, John Goodman and that other guy out've "The King Of Queens" ever formed a band and got loudly drunk beating a piano around the room. It's definitely a midwest United States flavoured, pub rock with a gravelly voice, raise your pint glass up on high, anthemic sing-a-long thing that blue collar tweakers everywhere would love to bump chests to. There's lots of shouting, pointing, arms outstretched and their lead singer Craig Finn glares at the crowd like his head's about to explode. I don't mind it, I'm mostly ambivalent to it, wouldn't know the first thing of what to do with it, but the crowd's completely losing their shit like a brown note to it.. so it must be good riiight?
ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI (****) myspace :: And now we've reached a moment that I've been dreading ever since I saw them listed on the bill a few months ago and thought "no fucking way I'm buying a ticket to that!". Yeah I know what I said about The Drones earlier but that was a single isolated incident; Architecture In Helsinki are repeat offenders! They are THE worst of the worst, you can't just explain this shit away like it's nothing more than a bad hair day, they have the malicious intent, they have the motive, they have shown NO mercy and they will kill again.. mark my words! Architecture In Helsinki. Just when you thought that first song you heard was quite possibly the most excruciatingly off-key, gnashing, wailing, shrieking, spastically unashamed moment of exploding dorkiness (with accompanying wacky cowbell percussion.. squweeeee!) along comes a sequel, and another one, and another one!? FUUUCK!! I swear they're not even human. Just one look of them when they file onto the stage tonight and duuude I'm frightened! It's like they've come straight out of my nightmares back in 1989. I was thirteen back then, the whole world got hit by puberty all at once, it was insane.. dare I mention hypercolour t-shirts? No shit.. this looks like the kind of "fashion forward" spastic retro abomination that the Fringe Festival would've been guilty of on opening night back in 2004: pastel jackets with oversized shoulderpads, saxaphones, clunky funk basslines and happy pants? that was then, this is now. Baggy brown pants with suspenders? an oversized black shirt with silver bike pants!? I know nothing about fashion but even I know that's wrong! Still, that being said their wardrobe definitely matches the sound. Architecture In Helsinki. Watching them live is like throwing together Talking Heads, Madness, Split Endz, New Order and MC Hammer with an African percussion trio. You don't know whether to projectile vomit, piss yourself laughing, dance like crazy or all three at once. Even more disturbing? the more you hear it, the more you can't get enough of it. Sure they may look like the United Colours Of Benetton laced with cocaine and thrown into a ceiling fan, they may be the indie scene equivalent of a Mr Bankrupt ad.. but fuck DAMN they can party! They're the worst damn thing for a hangover and the best damn thing I've seen all day!
PIVOT (****1/2) myspace :: So it is with utmost relief that I find myself back at the Fowlers Stage for this, our next act: Pivot. I hadn't seen these guys in years, not since they were a two piece band and bombed out Rocket Bar with those doped out jams back in March 2007. They were a little like DJ Shadow's "Private Press" back then crossed with the new age synthy sounds of Jean Michel Jarre; if you lit one up that night and breathed in deep you could've floated on that shit for days (in fact you'd probably still be up there even now, ready to drop some more for the encore.. score!). Oh and might I add; since my previous trip into the crockpot for Mountains In The Sky earlier today? all that cool air from outside has finally found its way in and blown all the smell out. Awesome! It's just a little past eleven at night, the conditions are ripe, time to trip some balls! Pivot. Once again the name sums it up perfectly. It's a skeletal sound, snapping joints, body popping beats, itchy trigger grooves. Very much reminiscent of Portishead's "Third" album and especially "Machine Gun" with its punctuated attack and delay, how everything is layered with plenty of hard driven flanges and phases on the kicks and snares. In some moments it borders on the breakbeat brutality you'd get from The Prodigy's "Music For The Jilted Generation" or The Chemical Brother's "Dig Your Own Hole", in others it's more cruisy like Aphex Twin's ambient works. Still, as much as you'd think it'd be a chiropractic nightmare in all those extremes it's not. You don't need to make yourself a pretzel to this. Over the top comes those synths: those washes, those warbles, those sweet sustains and you're carried through the peaks and the troughs, your flying high above the canopy! It's both a bone jarring call to arms and a new age mixtape with waterfalls and dolphins! It's electronic, synthetic, robotic, but all so effortless and organic, you can truly feel at home here. Aaaaah shit.. just when everything was getting too damn crazy out there!? I've finally found my peace!
GIRL TALK (***1/2) myspace :: Or maybe I've spoken waaay too soon. There's that concept we know of as "crazy". There's that which we've just seen mixing checks and stripes on the Uni Stage moments before entering the Fowlers Stage to blow our brains out (wow.. my skull makes the most awesome whistling sound now!). Then there's that which we're witnessing HERE stepping out into the Uni Stage again.. or at least we would've mere moments before our pupils diluted like frightened turtles back into our eye sockets. Sheeiiiiit! Concepts like "crazy", "batshit insane" or "Tom Cruise explains the many merits of Scientology" are completely useless here. Not even a whimsical turn of phrase like "one hundred monkeys jamming on one hundred ipods" could begin to explain our way out of this shit (although it may begin to describe what we're hearing short one tab of acid). This is Girl Talk. Granted it's all been done before. You could argue that 2ManyDJs invented this shit almost a decade ago, DJ Dangermouse made a masterpiece with it when he mixed The Beatles' "White Album" with Jay-Z's "Black Album" in 2004 and every dickhead and his dog has been guilty of it ever since. It's called "mashup". The philosophy is simple. Get something cult, cherished and sacred; then rape it up the arse with the cheesiest Top40 shite you can find. Anything goes: Nirvana and Britney, Radiohead and Beyoncé, Rage Against The Machine and The Pussycat Dolls!? sure why the fuck not! but that barely begins to define Girl Talk tonight. He's mashups within mashups, forty or fifty songs in one.. fuckit, it's your entire music library put on shuffle and played simultaneously till your head explodes! Jarring, discontinuous, abrupt, bouncing, careening, exploding, like dodgems, like a room full of mousetraps loaded and here come the pingpong balls!? FUCK YEAAAAH! As such I can only remember bits and pieces. The worst of which was when he dropped Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" with AC/DC's "Thunderstruck". The crowd fucking lost it when that happened. You should've heard them singing along to every word at the top of their lungs (and YES it was to Kelly Clarkson; fucking hell!). They're up on stage, with their shirts off, waving their arms about. They're out in the crowd, up on shoulders, jumping around, screaming hysterically. It's a stampede, it's a circus, it's an attention deficit disorder and an overdose of redbulls, it's the dumbest fucking thing I've seen in my entire life! I'm pissing myself laughing here, FUCK DAAAMN what a buzz!
BURAKA SOM SISTEMA (****) myspace :: I thought it was all over in every sense of the word (short of something stupid that M. Night Shyamalan would otherwise dream up) but still, there was more to come. Moments after Girl Talk disappeared into that crowd; some middle aged frump, who for all appearances looked like either a maths teacher, a Microsoft programmer, or someone studying a post doctorate in 18th Century New England footwear, nervously approached the microphone and thanked everyone for attending. He could've been reading out the obituraries for all the enthusiasm he put into that monotone drawl of his. Sure Laneway Festival was all but over for another year, but according to him the best was yet to come at Fowlers Stage.. WOWEEEE!! And so, I went to see what all the fuss was about. Buraka Som Sistema!? Yeah fucked if I know either. Wikipedia tells me they're from Portugal and tonight they're apparently banging this mad African sounding techno shit called Kuduro: "house music with programming inspired by traditional carnival music from the Caribbean and Angola". Awesome! I understand that pretty much explains nothing, so instead I refer you to quite possibly the most mindfuckingly badass example of kuduro (that until now I wasn't even aware WAS kuduro) Leftfield's "Afro-Left" of their Leftism album. Crank that bitch fucking loud and better than anything else THAT is what I heard here tonight. There were a few other elements in the mix: Snap!'s "Rhythm Is A Dancer", M.I.A.'s "Bird Flu", and AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" (what again!?) all blasted with this infectious, tribal driven beat. That lunatic MC of theirs (with a bowtie no less) jumped around the stage like Maxim from The Prodigy crossed with a door-to-door salesman from the 50's selling vacuum cleaners. You couldn't help but go fucking beserk to it. I swear my head bumped the ceiling more than once. I couldn't get enough of it.. FUUUCK what a way to end it!
1:11AM - And that was it for Laneway Festival for another year. The crowds had already vanished into the night well before I stepped out of Fowlers again. The light crunch of water bottle, plastic beer cup, redbull can, mixed spirit and a whistling breeze to collect it was all that remained. My hangover had long gone, most of my sanity along with it. There was only one thing for me to do..
1:34AM - And so it was off to the Ed Castle to drink myself retarded. Sure I know what you're thinking: after all I'd lived through!? But y'see.. I NEVER drink at music festivals. Short of that one beer (or two) and a redbull, it was just bottled water all day. It saves me lining up all day for beers, it saves me waiting in line to take a piss, it saves me from.. wait.. what am I on about!? I had a fucking backstage pass!? Yeah I know.. but seriously, don't you think those musicians deserve some peace and quiet away from idiots like me for a change!? I'm here for the music.. who cares about the rest? But beer is beer. Beer is awesome. This ain't willpower, this ain't a test of character, there's a time and place for getting shitfaced, and that time and place is just around the corner!
1:41AM - So it's just my luck that I'd happen to find myself HERE in the beer garden with this. This is Wolf & Cub's beer rider. They were originally scheduled to DJ at the after party at the Ed Castle but Wolf & Cub aren't here right now. So this is me drinking their beer rider. Schweeeet!
2:38AM - Y'know when you have one of those nights where you drink and you drink and pretty much nothing happens!? me neither.. I haven't done that shit for years! but if I did? it'd look something rather like this. In all the three hours I was here, this is all I did.. FUCK YEAAAAH!
6:03AM - Many hours later I find myself stumbling out of Supermild well after closing. It's like they forget we were even IN there. Either that or I just woke up now the beer garden, I have no idea what the fuck I'd been doing in here for well over two hours, and nobody dared disturb me.. freaaaky! As much as I'd love to explain how this entire day happened? I'm at a total loss!
6:21AM - Aaaah another night home to the greet the rising sun! I'm pretty certain I gave the taxi driver the right directions, I'm pretty certain I live somewhere around here and I didn't just collapse drunk on a medium strip in the middle of fucking nowhere. And no you REALLY don't want a photo of what I looked like the next day. Seriously, some things are best left to the imagination!
My hangover would now like to take this opportunity to thank every single one of you awesome people who made this day possible. I can't say I don't deserve it. This hangover was a long time coming, it's everything I dreamed it could be and so much more.. let's do this again sometime!