The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
EGYPT + MINDSHOWER LIVE @ ED CASTLE / Saturday June 7th 2008
A website (even one as retarded as this) needs a holiday once in a while; so I took last night off (maybe even the Thursday too) and now I'm back for this. Back so soon? yeah I know, I suck at holidays. It's winter now but it all looks the same in here: no sun for days, weeks, months, I'm blissfully oblivious. Time passes strangely so estranged from reality; huddled within these dark rooms where the warmth remains. I have my photosynthesis. I like it here. I think I've gone insane; yet so lyrically and on a page. Outside the choking clouds hang oh so low spilling out onto the sidewalk, inside a phoenix burns to life and death and the meaning behind it all; I breathe it in. This must be hope: albeit flickering and fleeting; or is it futility? Four legs, two legs and three legs goes the sphinx's riddle: candle, lighter and camera phone. Where am I? what year is this? The record skips forwards and backwards; catching me in the freeze frame. Watch for the falling of the leaves and the thinning of the herds. It's a sign. Winter's dawn has given me reflection; and here amongst these wizards and warlocks I shall take pause and seek my meditation..
MINDSHOWER (****) myspace :: Opening act for tonight's space odyssey is a novelty side project featuring Rod Steward Jnr (aka: Mathias) from Late Night Matinee on lead vocals and guitar, joining forces with three members from Lady Strangelove: Drugsie (aka: Josh) on guitar, Azza on bass, Brendan on drums and some other random brain casualty (also on drums) who may or may not be a resident DJ at the Crown & Sceptre (but is more likely some homeless guy they bribed off the street moments earlier with promises of cheap piss). As for the entirely ridiculous name of "Mind Shower"? I'm told Drugsie invented it one day after a mad dose of "frozen coke" at Micky D's when he was heard to exclaim: "duuuude everytime I have a shower I clean only the body but this shit is like a shower for the miiiind!". Yup such is the genius (and the stupidity) that is Mindshower; if you could blot up nearly enough acid as these five freaks in one sitting and not end up licking all four walls of a loony bin in postscript, then you TOO could sound just as shitarse freaky as this!
Mindshower. They're a pod of whales singing through a coffee grinder, Led Zeppelin blasting through a cement mixer, that scene in The Matrix moments after Neo takes the red pill with all the silver shit screaming down his throat and the sounds of a house mouse giving birth to a hippo in super slow-mo. Or for those of you playing at home: simply set a video camera to record, hook it up to the television, face the screen, set it into a constant feedback loop till your brain implodes and that's Mindshower. They're Schrödinger's cat winking in and out've existence at all points of the multiverse and taking a crap inside of your smoking skull cavity, they're a Pan Galactic Gargleblaster mixed with a Jägerbomb and they're Wile E. Coyote holding up a tiny umbrella moments before being crushed to death by a meteor shower. When too much jamming stoner rock, guitar fuzz, primal shrieking, twin drumming and cyclic chugging noise is barely enough? duuuude, blast your volume up on full and microwave your skull to THIS shit! YES!!
EGYPT (*****) myspace :: Which makes for the perfect entrée course to this headlining act; Egypt. Besides being the most hilariously self important name you could ever expect from a pack of dope fiends jamming out in the beer gardens (hmm do we detect a theme here?), they're also the most freakingly awesome Adelaide psychedelic supergroup you've likely never heard of until now (and will likely never hear of again as chances are most of them will be too baked to remember they even played tonight). Egypt. Featuring Marvin the Martian and Thom Yorke Jnr (aka: JC) from Wolf & Cub on drums, Sid from Morals Of A Minor on bass, Mikey from Artax Mission on leads (and a whole host of gatecrashing guest stars from Lady Strangelove in between); they're everything that is freakingly awesome about songs called "Black Magic Wandzz" that jam on in guitar fuzz for 12 minutes straight and every reason why it'll take me all week to recognise simple shapes and colours again after attempting to absorb this madness in all of Mikey's bug eyed entirety..
Yup, if ever you wondered why the latest Smashing Pumpkin's album blows goats; Egypt is your answer. If ever you wondered what happened to Syd Barrett; Egypt is your answer. Jimi Hendrix jamming out the filmscore to Stanley Kubrick's 2001 Space Odyssey? Egypt. They're life, death and rebirth. They're fucking big stone monuments you can see from space. They're a 1920's Mississippi gospel choir tripping balls on mescalin. They're astronaut rock, asphalt blues and Jim Morrison's desiccated skeleton flying over the Nazca lines with a foghorn smile. Egypt is not so much a music as it is a feast, a giant egg, an amniotic expanse large enough that you could swim in it for days and never see the ends of it and the singularly most awesome thing I've heard all year since the last time I said something as stupid as this (last week? I'm losing count). Oh and if you ever wanted to know what Mikey's "Take A Bullet" from back in February sounds like with a full band here tonight? Egypt is also your answer. In short: Egypt? fucking whoaaa!
2:33AM - It's been a buzz. It's been a mad trip, and it's been THE holiday away from it all (without actually getting away from anything) that I've been asking for; or at least it was until I finally come to my senses to find myself spread eagled on the floor, trousers around my ankles and with what appears to be bird seed stuffed into my sinus cavities. Weird. After extensive rehabilitation however I'm since told by the barstaff that I'd spent the last few hours flapping my arms in the insane belief I could fly and screaming what may've passed as fluent Hindi if only it didn't come off sounding like a baloon pissing out air. Hmmm as much as I'd like to give Egypt credit for all this, I suspect Bec might've done something "funny" to my drink instead..
3:06AM - And so, before she could effectively knock me out cold with the next foaming ale and harvest my organs; I flee to the (relative) safety of the beer gardens out back instead; where I attempt and fail to think up any suitably stupid captions to make fun of Mathias here..
Whilst Brendan and his goofy ear flaps needs no caption (but may possibly require a warning label to anyone under the age of 5; or anyone over the age of 80.. yeeeoooouch!).
3:28AM - And as much as I'd love to explain the further intricacies of whatever the fuck Damo is doing to this dartboard here, or why Drugsie is passed out cold on that table at the end of the night (damn you Bec! damn yoooou!); dude, your guess is as good as mine..
Yup it may've been a long weekend. There may've been a million and one things to see and do. I may've let some really big ones escape me (!!! at Rocket Bar anyone?). And yet here in these two teeny tiny bands and in this short night, I have all I need. Fuck the rant; this one's on me!