:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: DONNARUMMA
(EP Launch) with
THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO
:: ARCHERS
(Farewell Show) with
WEST THEBARTON,
BATTLEHOUNDS and
SINCERELY, GRIZZLY
:: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY
(Single Launch) with
SLOWLY SLOWLY,
and APPARITION
:: ATTONBITUS
(Single Launch)
with FILTHY LUCRE,
MOONHUNTER
and TYMPANO
:: ALANA JAGT &
THE MONOTREMES
(Single Launch) with
AARON THOMAS TRIO
and RYAN MARTIN JOHN
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: AARON THOMAS TRIO :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALANA JAGT & THE MONOTREMES :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPARITION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATTONBITUS :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: BAD//DREEMS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CELESTITE :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: THE CLANGERS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DOM TRIMBOLI & THE WIZARDS :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: HANNAH FAIRLAMB :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEAPS GOOD FRIENDS :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE DUST :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OLD MATE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLIE ENGLISH :: OLLY HOLMES :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONLY OBJECTS :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: ORELIA :: THE OSCILLATORS :: OSH10 :: OVERVIEW EFFECT :: OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: PAIGE RENEE COURT :: PALACE OF THE KING :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANACEA :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PARADES :: PARTY :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERFECT PUSSY :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: PETER COMBE :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: PONYTAIL KINK :: THE POP-UPS :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: PORCHLIGHT PARADE :: POST DEATH POST :: THE PRESETS :: PRESTON'S HISTORIC PUNCH & JUDY SHOW :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: PROBLEMS :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PRO-TOOLS :: THE PROPHETS OF IMPENDING DOOM :: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN CRUMPETS :: PSYCHIC 5 :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PURITY RING :: PUT DOWNS :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: RACHEL CEARNS :: RACHEL CEARNS & THE VALKYRIES :: RADIANT CITY :: RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! :: RADIO STAR :: RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE :: THE RAGING POPULATION :: RAINDROP :: RAPID TRANSPORT :: THE RAPTURE :: RAT TA'MANGO :: RAUCOUSTRA :: RAURY :: THE RAVEONETTES :: THE READYMADES :: REALIST FEW :: REALM :: RED APPARITION :: RED COATS :: RED DESERT OCEAN :: THE RED EARTH BLUES BAND :: RED INK :: THE RED PAINTINGS :: RED SEA :: THE RED SUN BAND :: REGULAR JOHN :: REGURGITATOR :: RELYING ON LUCK :: REJUSA :: THE REMEMBERZ :: RENDEZVOUS WITH RAMA :: THE REPROBETTES :: REPTILES :: RICH DAVIES & AYLEEN O'HANLON :: RICHARD IN YOUR MIND :: RICOCHET PETE :: RIDE INTO THE SUN :: RIN MCARDLE :: RIN & THE RECKLESS :: RINCON :: RINGO STALIN :: RIOT RUNNERS :: RISEMANN :: RITES WILD :: RIVER OF SNAKES :: ROBOTOSAURUS :: ROCKET SCIENCE :: THE ROCKETEERS :: ROGER THAT :: ROGUE ROMANTIC :: THE ROLLERCANES :: RON THE OX :: THE ROOFTOPS :: ROOK :: RORY O'CONNOR :: ROSS DE CHENE HURRICANES :: ROTE MARE :: ROYAL BLOOD :: THE ROYAL GALA :: ROYAL HEADACHE :: THE RUBENS :: RULE OF THIRDS :: THE RULES :: RUN THE JEWELS :: RUNNING WITH HORSES :: RUNZELSTIRM & GURGLESTOCK :: RUSSIA :: RUSSIAN TEAMMATE :: RYAN MARTIN JOHN :: RYAN MEEKING & THE FEW :: RYAN OLIVER :: SAILMAKER :: SAILORS AND SWINE :: SAINT HUCK :: THE SALVADORS :: SAM WOOLFORD :: SAMPA THE GREAT :: SAN CISCO :: SARAH BLASKO :: SARAH CHADWICK :: SASHA MARCH :: SASHA MARSH & THE DAWNHORSE :: SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS :: SATIN HAREM :: SAUL WILLIAMS :: SAVAGES :: SAVING SAVANAH :: THE SCARE :: THE SCARLET IVES :: SCHOOL OF RADIANT LIVING :: SCREAMFEEDER :: SCREAMING GIBBON :: THE SEA THIEVES :: SEA URCHIN & ALLIES :: SEABELLIES :: SEAMUS ANTHONY :: SEAN DESMOND :: SEAN KEMP :: SECRETS IN SCALE :: SEEKAE :: SERENDIPITY :: THE SERRA :: SEVENTEEN FIFTY SEVEN :: SEX ON TOAST :: SEX WIZARD :: SEX UNCLE :: SEXUAL DAD :: THE SHADOW LEAGUE :: SHADOWQUEEN :: THE SHAKE UP :: SHAMAN SON :: SHAME SPIRAL :: THE SHAOLIN AFRONAUTS :: SHAPES DIVIDE :: SHARK IN THE DARK :: SHE SAID YOU :: SHE'S THE BAND :: SHILOH :: THE SHINE :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS :: SHIVERS :: SHOJI HANO :: SIAMESE :: SIANNA LEE :: SIDEWALKS :: S.I.G.I.T. :: SILENT DUCK :: THE SILENTS :: SIMON & JENNY :: SIMON ABERLE :: SIN CITY :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY :: SIR GERBIL :: SISTER ROSE :: SITARA :: SKELETONS :: SKIES :: SKIPPING GIRL VINEGAR :: SKYBOMBERS :: SKYTHIEF :: SKYE HARBOUR :: SLAMAGOTCHI :: SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY :: SLEEP PARADE :: SLEEPTALKER :: THE SLEEPY JACKSON :: SLICK ARNOLD :: SLINGSHOT DRAGSTER :: THE SLOE RUIN :: SLOWLY SLOWLY :: SLY HATS :: SMALL AFFAIRS :: SMASHING PUMPKINS :: SMILE :: THE SMITH STREET BAND :: SNAKADAKTAL :: SNAP TO ZERO :: THE SNOWDROPPERS :: SNOWMAN :: ...SO YEAH :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE :: SOJOURN :: SOMNIUM (2016) :: SOMMNIUM (2007) :: SONATINE :: SONIC DEATH MONKEY :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SOURSOP :: SOUTH FROM SOMEWHERE :: SOUTHPOOR :: SPANK ROCK :: SPARKSPITTER :: SPARTAK :: SPECIAL PATROL :: SPEED MACHINE :: SPIKE THE RIVER :: SPILT CITIES :: SPINDICKLE :: SPINE :: THE SPIRES :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: ST. VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STONEFIELD :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: THE SUNDAY REEDS :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSETTLER :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERPHATASS :: SURES :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWEET GOLD :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA FIRMA :: THANES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: TIERSMAN :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THEE OH SEES :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: THE TITS :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYMPANO :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: UK SPECIAL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URTEKK :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTOLIN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WALTER MARSH :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: WASTED WANDERERS :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WILD OATS :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WOE :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX :: YANKEE MACHINE :: YEASAYER :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUR LOYAL HEARTLESS :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN ::

:: Monday, January 02, 2012

THE 4TH ANNUAL SPOZ'S RANT AWARDS / PART I
ADELAIDE MUSIC SCENE / January - December 2011 / NOMINEES / PART II / PART III

Wow, so how did it come to THIS: another year, another fucked up installment of The Spoz's Rant Awards!? and it's what...the fourth year I've unleashed this insanity? I mean it begs the question now doesn't it...and I don't mean HOW IS IT I've kept this blog running against all the odds this year to get to this point...HAHAHAHA no seriously? hadn't we run this topic into the ground already? Like oh suuure! let's totally make my "recreational binge-drinking" into a fully fledged nine-to-five! sounds like an aaawesome plan! sounds like a genius plan: getting unsigned musicians to pay for gig advertising each week, it can't possibly fail! until it ALMOST FUCKING KILLED ME THAT'S WHAT!! (and we're talking on numerous occassions: risking actual death and/or dismemberment; or at the very least a protracted hospital stay due to illness, possibly mental self inflicted) and I'm not even kidding you maaan...I put myself through some serious "Francis Ford Coppola" shit to keep this blog happening in 2011; and it was fucking intense! and I perhaps enjoyed it a little too much and it's besides the point anyways (because yup...I've clearly gone off on another one of my ridiculous tangents again). No the REAL question is: why would the Adelaide scene invest so much interest in someone as wilfully misguided as myself writing up these silly awards in the first place? WHHHY!? HAHAHAHA because the Adelaide scene HAS NO official music industry awards THAT'S WHY! I mean we used to...they were called the SAMIAs. But then we got rid of them in 2006 (yeaaah remember Vegans In Leather? me neither! but apparently they won it every year despite not being an active concern for almost a decade) and now I'M ALL YOU'VE GOT; sobering thought innit? (easily enough to send ME to drink in judging this shit each year) for we live in a music scene that's verily seen the apocalypse maaan! We've had it all: from the pokies fucking up all our suburban live venues in the 90's to inner-city residential noise complaints killing off the rest; a "music scene" rendered all but invisible, possessing all the talent and little or no airplay or representation; a music scene only just now rising from the ashes! And until such time a bona-fide music industry award returns to do it actual justice again? yup welcome to The 4th Annual Spoz's Rant Awards! Admittedly it won't be much; in fact on so many levels it'll surely be a whole lot LESS and a continuing embarassment for everyone involved...but yeah fuck it, let's just celebrate the shit out of this insanity all the same!



THE MATT BANHAM AWARD: CARLA LIPPIS
Which then brings us to our first silly "awards" category. And for argument's sake? yeaaah let's just assume that we're already WELL AWARE just how completely fucking ridiculous this shit is; I mean these "awards", surely they achieve nothing, and none of it matters in the grand scheme of things, NONE OF IT...short of needlessly congratulating and overinflating the pissy egos of both the award recipients and the moron (yup that'd be me!) who took it upon himself to award them; which come to think of it? kinda makes them no different or diminished in value compared to any other fucked up awards ceremony you've ever seen...and even by THOSE incredibly lax "standards" still a whole lot better than The Aria Awards telecast back in 2010...so yeah let's just forget I ever mentioned it. This shit? 100% LEGIT YO!! (hell I'm even thinking of knocking up an awards show for next year!). Just like we'll ALSO assume that you already "get" that this FIRST award is bestowed upon that one lead singer in the Adelaide music scene who went above and beyond in embodying all the larger than life and now admittedly cliche values of being THE "lead singer" for 2011. So named after the infamous Matt Banham of No Through Road (a "giant dildo crushing the sun" if we ever saw one) who's presence will surely be missed in these parts ever since he moved to Sydney; if it weren't for the fact he still keeps posting new shit on youtube, and on twitter, and on facebook, AND OH DEAR GAWD MAKE HIM STOP ALREADY...WHO'S GONNA THINK OF THE CHILDREN!! but not before I watch that wacky xmas video again (it's like David Hasselhoff eating a burger off the floor set to music!). One who'd left such a glaring absence in the scene in 2011, one couldn't dream of replacing his schtick so soon...I mean we're obviously still in mourning here (sorry Jon Marco, I know you tried!) and as such? I've seen to fit to bestow this year's award to the one person who not only embodied all the gargantuan qualities of a "Matt Banham" in both exceptional vocal AND stage presence, but also acted as a welcome "respite" to all of Matt Banham egomaniacal dysfunctions (as Adelaide's answer to Bernard Black), just as...yup let's face it you also had to have been living under a rock, or a great many "rocks" lacking even half a bar of a wifi/phone reception to not know who she was this year: Carla Lippis from The Rules? OOOOH SHIT and I think I just peed a little in uttering her name just now too...THAT'S how fuckoff terrifying she was in 2011! Not just for her triple A-grade vocal delivery equal parts Aretha Franklin, Zack De La Rocha and Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket stuffed into the body of Liza Minnelli...but also in the way she delivered it live on stage: like a sawn-off shotgun at point-blank range, punching your pink bits clean through your throat out the back of your skull and shat onto the walls behind you...and in high heels no less! And even more remarkably? with a quiet no-nonsense approach to showmanship utterly bereft of alcoholic or arty farty excess that nearabout put everyone else but the most seasoned Vegas drag queens to shame in shit kicking professionalism!? I mean she wasn't at all possessive or arrogant about it...shit, she'll even give you singing lessons! she's more than happy to share the wealth! both an audience shitbricking 10ft tall behemoth belching fire from her lungs and humble almost to a fault? Yup for schooling us all in 2011 (and for letting us live to tell the tale), we salute you!






NOMINATED: DOUGIE ARNOTT / JON MARCO / PAUL "NAZZ" NASSARI



HONOURABLE MENTION: JOSH MOORE (as much as we shouldn't encourage him) / MARIO SPATE

THE LACHLAN WILSON AWARD: LACHLAN WILSON
But of course for every loud-mouthed loon itching to seize centre-stage, plant their proverbial flag hoisted up high and piss all over the audience with their golden pipes, proud as fuck to perform for pretty much anyone who'll let them (wow and apologies for the mental image I just painted there!) there's at least a dozen more "lead singers" who'd ask for anything but that, to be anywhere else BUT showcasing their craft in front of a large audience, preferring to hide in a quiet corner instead; or better yet phoning it all in from afar: under a ridiculous alias, via sock puppet proxy and buried under a haze of sound from a lo-fi "studio recording" done three weeks ago from their kid sister's bedroom...YES!! For these are the frontpersons defacto; most scruffy, increasingly forming a meek and mild majority, propped up behind mic stands, guitars, keys, laptops being artfully ambiguous; all the talent, nary the impetus to perform it in public, often pent in painfully shy introspection and harrowing self doubt, until one day they explode like an albatross thrown into a ceiling fan and it's a thing of superlative beauty...and THIS is their award that celebrates their quiet accomplishments! although not so loud as to frighten them back into the shadows; THIS is their moment to shine! And as much as I'd love to congratulate each and every one of these "proud" nominees equally as shrinking violets most exemplary, or for simply being a-grade vocal talents extraordinare with nary a hint of ego or theatrical artiface to promote themselves with? one went waaay beyond that call of duty, stood towering above all others in 2011, in being that prime example par excellence for the Adelaide scene (quite like he did the year before I might add) although frequently stooping down low so as not to draw untoward attention to himself: Lachlan Wilson from Steering By Stars. Yup, without a doubt he was EVERY dictionary definition and medical diagnosis of a "shrinking violet" in 2011; so much so he's even had this award's category renamed in his honour. Which you'd think would totally jinx him from winning his own award ever again (and perhaps point to some seriously fucked up near fictional "childhood trauma" he should probably get looked at possibly involving The Count from Sesame Street...hmmm?). But since no other "lead singer" this year has quite come close to equalling that combination of undeniable artistry and crippingly shy introspection...or hoped to match that signature "singing style" of his, that almost but doesn't quite sound like a sickly albino kid with freaky magical powers being drowned in a frozen winter lake in Manitoba, in a blizzard? (or at least that's how he sounded in 2010...now imagine that exact same scenario in 2011; only to up the tension that same kid's attempting to wrestle free from a straitjacket too!?) THAT'S the mad intensity that Lachlan Wilson wields on stage like a pro! that mad gut-wrenching intensity buried deep down inside him shackled like an emotional Houdini busting to be let free! and THAT'S why he again wins this award hands down as the shrinking ying to the "Matt Banham" exploding yang that we've since named after him this year!? HAHAHA *PHEW* YOU BETCHA!! But before you suggest this shit is rigged (and I swear the other nominees WERE in with a chance!) back when Steering By Stars released their first album, could you understand a single haunting ode he sung suppressed as they were under a billion effects pedals? No? And now that you CAN kind've decipher them with their latest single in 2011, was it any less harrowing...!? MY POINT EXACTLY!! He hasn't just mastered the art of "theatrical autism" to the nth degree, he's utterly redefined it!






NOMINATED: JOSH CALLIGEROS / JULIET HUNTER / ZAC COLLIGAN



HONOURABLE MENTIONS: CAITLIN DUFF / PETER SPIKER (what, he didn't win!? shit was rigged!)

AXE MURDERER OF THE YEAR: DAN CAVA
Now obviously this next award is for "guitarist of the year". As in the a-grade finest, most shit hot exemplary example to the art of guitaring that the Adelaide scene has produced this year, the one we should all be proud of...and as humble heartfelt thanks for making our world that much richer and brighter in strumming that wondrous five or six string? we should totally all shout them a beer, or twelve, or a bottle of none-too-shabby "plonk" from the nearest bottle-o and then pat them on the back and go "you da man!", and then petition the city council to erect a glorious bronze statue in their honour (or at the very least a loud cheer from the back of the room and a complimentary wristy from that girl they fancied) "SHIT YES!! BEST ADELAIDE GUITARIST FOR 2011!! WOOOO!!". But obviously I'm not one to simply out and say it, let alone declare it in writing. I mean pfft...do I look like I'm one to give upfront open praise that brazen? Do I look like I'm that naive: offering up a genuine compliment to an Adelaide muso without twisting it into a prize winning backhander!? SHIT THAT HEARTFELT AND SINCERE COULD KILL A MAN!! FUUUCK!! I mean this ain't America! this ain't an Oprah lovefest, this is Adelaide yo! Our music scene's the abused middle child of Australia! We're the butt of everyone's jokes! shit...we've been that way for decades, for generations! to the point our artists are SO accustomed to being grievously abused, insulted and ignored by the public at large; anything short of the most begrudging thumbs up and scathingly sarcastic endorsement, ESPECIALLY FROM THE INTERNET, is liable to give them all the BENDS!! I mean you should see how retarded our musicians get if they ever play to a capacity crowd here; or if they ever receive regular airplay and glowing praise from Triple J; or shit...even if they just get a teeny tiny endorsment in The Advertiser in the "Adelaide Confidential" section? it's sad, they really don't know how to react, it's killed off countless promising careers before they even got started, IT'S RUINED LIVES PEOPLE!! no...you gotta be "cruel to be kind" lest their heads explode. Which not only explains my entire fucked up philosophy in regards to "live reviews" (I'm so sorry everyone, I love your work but I'm doing this for your mental wellbeing!) but it's also all the more relevant to keep in mind when you consider THIS next award...why? BECAUSE YOU SOOO DON'T WANT TO ENCOURAGE A GUITARIST, OOOOH FUCK NO!! I mean don't get me wrong, I love what you do! I appreciate the mad hell out of it, I truly do, I can't get enough of it! I just know better than to tell that to your faces otherwise I'd never hear the end of it...FUUUCK!! No seriously! Every week AS IT IS: I'm getting a constant facebook feed of you freaks obsessing over your guitars, your pickups, your effect pedals...and do you know why I took so many photos of that shit in 2011? because a guitarist (no not Dougie from Quiet In The Lab! but nice of you to think that) begged me to provide more photos back in April, because apparently effects pedals to a guitarist = your version of porn; I'm not even kidding you! YOU FUCKS CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT!! IT'S ALL I EVER HEAR ABOUT!! guitarists spouting an endless littany of who's buying what, selling what, or "LOOK WHAT I'VE GOT!!" in a 60's replica whatever-the-fuck with an accompanying photo devil fingers raised AAAAUUGGHH!! I mean do you REALLY think I'm stupid enough to add fuel to THAT fire!? FUCK NO!! And so for 2011, and in the quietest way possible here? take a bow Dan Cava from Surviving Sharks *cough*...you da man!






NOMINATED: DAN VARRICCHIO / JOSH VAN LOOY / TONY MARSHALL



HONOURABLE MENTIONS: SHANE MCINTYRE / TODD LAWRIE

THE SPASTIC FLEA AWARD: PAT SARACINO
Aaaand where would we be without bass players maaan? BASS PLAYERS? SHIT YEAAAH!! living in a grey colourless world cruely bereft of countless acts of teenage pregnancy, public drunkeness, illicit drug abuse, nudity, fist fights and spastic trampoline accidents possibly/to more than likely caused by all the above happening on said "trampoline"...Jon Wignall? HAHAHAHA yeaaah pfft...that goes without saying! and I don't know WHY I just mentioned Jon Wignall in relation to all that insanity; "Jon who!?" (and how could we've forgetten Tom Krieg so quickly!?) yeaaah hmmm, perhaps that's a subject best not discussed in this timeslot/perhaps more on that later; but for me personally? I'd miss all the "mad shapes" they pull in this hypothetical "hell dimension" so bereft of their spastic rubber-band presence, I'D QUIT THE GIG PHOTOGRAPHY "BIZ" MAAAN, that shit'd totally be a deal breaker...FUUUCK!! I mean YES, I realise there's more to the art of "bass playing" than just pulling shapes: namely being able to play two maybe three chords in pop-and-lock time with the drummer without falling over (fuzz pedal optional); just as it's also about being the awesomest indie cliche ever: impossibly cute girl dropping out of artschool and joining a band (playing the easiest to learn instrument save for the glockenspiel?) so said "band" otherwise consisting of bespectacled geeks with countless food allergies writing obscurearse "math-pop/post-grunge" can totally get signed up by some boutique label thinking they're the next "Sonic Youth"; no offense to Kim Gordon (she's a legend for countless and nameless reasons, please don't kill me!) and no offense either to all the cute girls I know who play the bass: HELL NO!! you rock my world and if you're not already married, gay and/or homicidally insane? (actually y'know what? fuck it I'd totally go the latter at least once!) I'd so wanna be your token good-for-nothing boyfriend, fuckpuppet, love/hate inspiration Jenny Lee Lindberg of Warpaint...and errr perhaps I've said too much? (call me!) and *ahem* where was I again? OH YEAH, BASS PLAYERS!! The point is...if you're doing your job right as a "bass player" nobody's gonna pay attention; at least not to what you're PLAYING: it's meant to be discrete, near indivisible from the drumming save for a "gut feel". You're a "rhythm section" working in sync with the drummer, working as one, punching out shit 10ft tall like Voltron. Which is why, more so than just technical prowess? (as much as technically there should be an award for that too, NEXT YEAR), or being a "backseat guitar player" away from pulling a fullblown artist insurrection? this "Spastic Flea" award is all about being that undeniable stage presence, in going above and beyond in mastering the ancient art of "drop-octave human origami"...it's all about the SHAPES maaan! And as much as it IS a crime and a crying shame that I wasn't running these whizzbang Spoz's Rant Awards prior to 2008 to acknowledge the mad shit Flik Freeman used to pull on the bass for Illicit Eve 2005-2007 (and continues to do so now for The Venice Whalers) I mean all that golden hair flying everywhere? it's an absolute face-melt I tell's ya! (and it kills me that I only caught that one gig back in September!) for the prize in 2011 I gotta give it to Adelaide's ultimate unsung bassist: Pat Saracino of Like Leaves. Yup, humble to a fault...not ONLY is he the maddest sight whenever he cuts loose on stage: all frizzy haired flailing like a spastic labradoodle attempting to dry himself to the point I wonder why I hadn't credited him sooner for all the years he's been killing it with Like Leaves, but also because one could argue without his uncanny knack for hammering a hypnotic rhythm...so simple yet devilishly direct? Like Leaves would be little more than a proverbial pissing contest/dog's breakfast between a bunch of over-qualified musicians who wouldn't understand the concept of "too much of a good thing" even if they were buried upto their necks in it! Duuude he makes the musical equivalent of "War And Peace" something you can groove to! And for that, and the fact I'm still bummed "Complex Denial" never made it to the album? Pat, this one's for you!






NOMINATED: ADRIAN REVERUZZI / FLICK FREEMAN / NICK O'CONNOR



HONOURABLE MENTIONS: ADAM VANDERWERF / AZZ SHAW

THE RYAN MANOLAKIS AWARD: RYAN MANOLAKIS
Now after years of extensive research in the Adelaide scene; and by "research" I obviously mean drinking; and since I choose to do all my "drinking" at live venues and have done so for the past 10-15 odd years instead of say somewhere people might actually want to "attend" on a Friday or Saturday night in the off-chance of "getting some"? (instead of oh I dunno listening to a guitarist bragging about the time they "MacGyvered" the pickup on their Fender Jaguar!? SHIT YEAAAS!!) everyone assumes I'm a crack expert on all things "live music", in quite the same way that being under the age of 30 and working as a janitor at a university campus in Boston suddenly makes you "Good Will Hunting"; which we all know it obviously DOESN'T and wait where the fuck was I again!? Utterly incapable of getting to the fucking point already without it unravelling in a retarded mess of misplaced punctuation and yet still managing to attract a "regular readership" of over 2000 each week? HAHAHA oh yeah..."RESEARCH". And as such? I've come to conclude a few undeniable truths about the Adelaide scene: firstly we appear to have a ridiculous overabundance in guitarists to the point that the Avant Gardeners can have six and a band losing their third can actually be called a "catastrophe" (well it IS isn't it? I mean have you heard how awesome three guitarists can sound? FUUUCK!!) and secondly that we have a chronic under-supply of drummers. Now obviously there's a perfectly logical explanation for both...and it's that buying a drumkit, practicing with it for years on end, only to cart it around from venue to venue acting as your band's go-to "designated driver": is not only a costly, annoying and wildly inconvenient habit to take up, but ultimately detrimental to your mental health...and by "mental health" I obviously mean DRINKING. Which is why there's so many guitarists in Adelaide and also why so many of them ultimately form psychedelic and stoner lo-fi surf bands acting as defacto "lead singers" in almost every other band you ever see of late: because not only is it dirt cheap (ie: all you need is a house brick and an unoccupied share-house to loot) and you can drink all you want and STILL play? you can also be near "career unemployed" stoned out of your mind with no shoes and people will still think you're Thurston Moore (sillier still that's probably how the real Thurston Moore got started in the first place!). Or conversely? and this is a theory I prefer to prescribe to...there's so many guitarists in Adelaide and so FEW drummers because Ryan Manolakis has been systematically killing the latter, eating them all and absorbing their powers like Darwinism acted out at its most extreme; or if you've ever seen Highlander? yup exactly like that...only with drumkits instead of samurai swords and Stanier's doing the soundtrack instead of Queen. Which not only explains HOW Ryan Manolakis has been ruling near unopposed drumming in everything from Mr Wednesday, Like Leaves, Cookie Baker, BrotherSister, Bing Goes To Monaco and Curses (and rumour has it soon to be jamming with Manor?) not to mention all the other upteen bands he's been drumming with over the years that I've foolishly forgotten the name of in all my..."extensive research" (Damo Suzuki Network!? shit there's another!); but also why this "drummer of the year" is named in his honour, and why he's been near undefeated in it...save for 2010 when Aidan Moyse from Hawks Of Alba wowed us all with his mad ability to play drums and glockenspiel at the same time (no mean feat!) and yes...why he must be stopped AT ALL COSTS. Only that'll be harder than you think now because he's also been building up an army of hardcore drummer "disciples" to surround himself with...because yup, not only does he play like a diabolical superarticulated octopus not of this dimension? he also teaches classes, and would you believe he also holds a top 2% ranking worldwide in "Rock Band" in this shit!? HAHAHA GET FUCKED!! only he's such an upstanding individual too, you couldn't possibly DREAM of giving it to anyone else? YOU BASTARD! Yup Ryan if ever there was a doubt in 2011? this award AGAIN goes to you; and yes I'm aware just how SILLY that sounds, but if ever you'd seen him play? you'd totally understand why!






NOMINATED: AIDAN MOYSE / ROWAN MOUNT / SAM STEARNE



HONOURABLE MENTIONS: FLORENTINA PERGOLETA / NICK RUSSELL / TONY MITOLO

THE ART ZINOVIEV AWARD: JON WIGNALL
Now before we proceed to overly "congratulate" one Jon "TRAMAPOLINE!!" Wignall for winning it this year? let's take a momentary pause in respectful silence, in honour of the late great Art Zinoviev: namesake for this illustrious award...ILLUSTRIOUS I SAY!! *sniff* why damnit, why was he taken from us so soon!? WHHYYY!? Huh, what? oh I'm not saying he's DEAD or anything; HAHAHA really? far from it duuude! It's just that after many many years of keeping us wildly entertained, endlessly inspired...nay possibly even weirdly sexually aroused by his spastic antics in Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire! as their occassional "keyboardist", tambourinist and errr...ummm, yeaaah I'm kinda struggling for more words to describe just what the fuck it is he actually DID on stage besides killing it with the mad "spirit finger" jams everytime his band played "Witch House" but shit damn did he keep us all endlessly enthralled all the same? HAHAHAHA AND HOW!! HE WAS LIVING LEGEND FOR US AAALL!! he THEN made the confusing move mid November; or at least it was a shock to me initially: to leave his dream job as "Adelaide's #1 embassador of raging awesomatude", only to pursue an arguably awesomer career in Skyrim? Yes...SKYRIM! that's truly thinking and operating on a higher plane of existence to the rest of us! In fact not since the legendary Frenchman Marcel Duchamp: argued by many to be one of the most important and influential avant-garde artists of the 20th Century, ditched his "urinal art" in favour of playing chess instead? have we seen a move so bold, so brazen, so gob smackingly brilliant, oh I shit you not...Art Zinoviev, YOU ARE A GOD TO ME!! no I'm dead serious maaan *sniff* I AM IN AWE! (or in other words I'm so insanely jealous I didn't choose this life for myself; FUUUCK!!). For to win this award, is to aspire to the highest of high echelons of artistic antithesis...I mean in the simplest of terms? one could describe it as being the maddest team mascot, muse, or figurehead for a band without ever actually adding anything to the sound of a band: whether it be as "third guitarist", hilariously drunk impersonation of a "lead singer", or a shit-hot "glockenspiel artist"...but that'd be an insult to those who truly excell at it. No let me cite a few winning examples. Mark Berry "Bez": dancer for The Happy Mondays. Joel Gion: percussionist for The Brian Jonestown Massacre. Keith Flint: professional dickhead for The Prodigy. To be that one band member everyone remembers, without ever being able to place what the fuck it IS they actually do? All the glory, the infamy, the mad kamikaze enthusiasm, living that rock & roll aspiration to the fullest without ANY of the responsibility!? THAT is what it takes to win an "Art Zinoviev"! And to every one of you exceptional nominees? and you should ALL be proud; it truly IS the best gig in town, I salute you all equally, in all sincerity I love your "work", every last one of you...FUCK I WISH I WAS YOU!! But the prize this year can go to none other than Jon Wignall, for taking this shit so much further than Art Zinoviev could have ever dreamed of...OH YES!! For his tireless efforts as "bass player" in whichever of the three bands he was briefly in this year: 20th Century Graduates, The Keepsakes and The Sweet Decline? before he got fired from the first after a freak "trampoline accident", only for the second one to break up on him (or was it an indefinite hiatus by a lucky "coincidence"?) and after only playing a handful of shows with the third figuring on a proverbial coin flip: "fuck it I'M MOVING TO MELBOURNE!!" only to forget to tell the band when they were already scheduled to play Rocket Bar the following weekend, leaving me to be the first to break the news to them (assuming they'd already know) drunk outside of Jive 5AM on a Saturday!? HAHAHA YOU SONOFABITCH!! Yup, for being ever so much more infamous in the Adelaide scene in 2011 for NOT playing in a band, than being IN a band? For being that ridiculous "Jar Jar Binks" larger than life character (and just as hilariously accident prone) that a good many people at one pointed wanted to have killed? and for almost killing ME with that dope cookie that took a good 2-3 hours to kick in only to floor me silly at Supermild after that CD launch party back in May!? Jon Wignall! As both a cautionary tale and an endless source of amusement for just about everything BUT the music you played such a teeny tiny part in 2011? you truly were an inspiration to us all!



NOMINATED: ANTHONY WIGNALL / BENJAMIN COOPER / CARLY WHITTAKER



SCENE STEALER OF THE YEAR: DAVE BLUMBERG
But then there are those who simply can't rest easy in life...in that life of lazy, aimless, well below the poverty line "luxury": as maybe the fifth or sixth or seventh (...or fifteenth?) wheel of a band, drinking all the beer rider, blaming it on the bass player...unless you happen to BE the bassplayer (in which case you can totally blame it on the keyboardist) playing the occassional solo, singing the odd backing vocal...just quietly enough so nobody ever suspects you're ever so slightly out of tune (aaah pfft...they can totally T-pain that shit in the recording right?), touring the country, mastering the art of the "ventriloquist fart", being THAT go-to circus clown in all the music vids who then gets flying tackled by all the adoring fans who love the shit out of you for it, sometimes inside AND out in the biblical sense in the unisex toilets, because hey you're just there to "enjoy the ride maaan!" and the enthusiasm's infectious! and otherwise living up the ultimate dream everyone who's ever done a partial arts degree pulling bongs at uni only to drop out and dodge bullets in a dole queue for the next 2-12 years has ever aspired to...NO REALLY, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM WITH FREAKING PARADISE DAMNIT!? FUUUCK!! But no no, it's true! there are SOME musicians out there with actual, bona-fide, occassionally FREAKING SCARY career ambitions! and I don't just mean Ryan Manolakis slowly but surely and systematically replacing almost every other drummer in Adelaide either with himself or one of his freakishly talented minions/clones; as to be fair? drummers are immediately disqualified from winning this category as it's already assumed that they're playing in at least 3-4 bands to begin with...HA! No this category is to award those over-achieving "shining lights" of the Adelaide scene who don't see fit to sit on the sidelines slumming it, no they wanna be everywhere, doing it all, punching out the sun! And once their golden contribution is made known to you quite like a slap to the face and a subsequent slackjawed expression to the many upteen iterations they appear in? or for simply achieving above and beyond in multiple instrument swappings in the one band to the point you wonder if all the other members "performing" on stage are simply puppets under their control and it's all been a clever ruse? (disqualification: Aidan Moyse!) or shit maybe they just suffer from an undiagnosed attention deficit disorder and prescribe to the 'ol adage: "if at first you succeed at one thing, try everything, in as many different bands as possible, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!! AAAAHAHaHAhahAHAhAhA!!"? (yeaaah not that I'd accuse anyone HERE of employing that tactic *ahem*) you'll then wonder to yourself: no, no really how in the hell has the Adelaide scene ever survived without them!? And yup I can tell you now: it's been an absolute bitch to pick just ONE of these as winner too; to the point it's practically given me a nosebleed overwhelmed by all their wildly prolific and insane antics!? DUUUUDE!! So you know what...? fuck it! if you've been nominated? you more than deserve it, 50x over, take home a trophy, take all the trophies! here take my watch as well...gawd please don't hurt me! YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING INSANE YO!! you're doing way too much, all at once, switch to decaf or something before you kill someone...SHEEESH!! And as for why Dave Blumberg ultimately gets the award? well as much as he was in literally every second band in 2011 from Tea, The Creepers, Lemurian to Fake Tan (playing the clarinet!?) and in too many other spontaneous batshit happenings in between that I couldn't even HOPE to keep track of to more than over qualify him in omnipresence alone. Or for the fact you couldn't possibly ignore his stage presence: equal parts trainwreck, circus explosion and near statistically impossible "happy accident" all rolled into one; or rather like watching someone hurl himself arse backwards down a flight of stairs only to make a three-point-landing every time; equally as a brilliant as he was brilliantly inept and a comedy gift that kept on giving? HAHAHA AND HOW!! Mostly, yeaaah I'm just giving him this in the hopes he'll stop trying so hard to get noticed with it. I mean no shit, he was awesome...but in 2011 he was like a bad penny of awesome, I COULDN'T GET RID OF HIM!!






NOMINATED: CARLA LIPPIS / LARISSA PERRY / NAOMI KEYTE



HONOURABLE MENTION: THE TRANSATLANTIC'S RHYTHM SECTION (also in two other bands!?)

And so there we have it, the very first installment (of three) of The 4th Annual Spoz's Rant Awards. And yes I'm so very VERY sorry I had to put you through all that insanity too...I mean aren't the winners meant to give out their OWN heartfelt speeches for this kinda shit: thanking God, Satan, their manager, boyfriend, girlfriend, fuckpuppet, Centrelink/parole officer, parents, drug dealer whatever-the-fuck and "hi Grandma!" only for ME to cut them off woefully short with some kinda off-putting theme music? I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!? Adelaide's only music industry awards!? HAHAHA YOU BETCHA!! and until one of us comes up with something better...and please DO come up with something better! (this can't be doing us any favours) YOU CAN ALL GO SUCK IT IF YOU DISAGREE!! oh and *ahem* do please tune in for part II; you might still win something!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Ride Into The Sun and The Amcats (New Years Eve)

:: Spoz 3:03 PM |
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