:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
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[::..latest blogs..::]
:: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN
CRUMPETS, JUNGLE
CITY and SOMNIUM
:: LITTLE CAPTAIN,
OLLIE ENGLISH
and PANACEA
:: YOUNG OFFENDERS
(Single Launch) with
THE BROTHERS GOON
and SWEET GOLD
:: Holy Land Festival 2017
with NICK OLIVERI,
LOST COSMONAUT,
FILTHY LUCRE, GLASS
SKIES, DIRTY WOLVES,
A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS,
THE TITS, RAT TA'MANGO,
MOONHUNTER and YOUR
LOYAL HEARTLESS
:: "BENDER IN
THE BEER GARDEN"
with GREAT GABLE,
ATTILA MY HONEY,
CHINESE NEW YEAR,
BERMUDA BAY and
THE ROYAL GALA
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTILA MY HONEY :: ATTONBITUS :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BAD//DREEMS :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BERMUDA BAY :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: THE BROTHERS GOON :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHINESE NEW YEAR :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: GREAT GABLE :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICK OLIVERI :: NICK OLIVERI & FILTHY LUCRE :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! 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:: Wednesday, September 03, 2008

TYGER TYGER + RADIO STAR + IT'S WARSAW!
"WISH" @ PRODUCERS BAR / Saturday August 30th 2008

Adelaide's nightlife. Wow those two words SO don't go together do they? Adelaide has a freaking nightlife!? pfffft since when!? We've been sending in probes and satellites and manned missions with chimps in pressurised space suits for years and there ain't nothing here but tumbleweeds, cattle skulls and a small sign swinging ominously on rusting hinges that reads "all hope abandon ye who enter here!" (we sell a bucket load of 'em in the gift shop!). Adelaide has no nightlife! no social scene, no A-list, D-list, or any other celebrities save for that shitcrazy aboriginal guy who does the hulu hoops down Hindley Street. The last time Richard Wilkins dared go anywhere near here for an interview, we shot him in the head, skinned him alive and ate him; I think he tasted a little like chicken (mmmm crispy!). Everything you've read here is an outright lie! My name is NOT "Spoz", my name is Armin Tamzarian and I used to write for the New York Times. I do all of this in my spare time in between working shifts at Micky D's and building suitcase nukes in my toolshed. You may remember me from all those other shit crazy stories I made up involving me, your mum and a jar of peanut butter. Don't believe everything you read! Adelaide's nightlife is a myth: right up there with life on Mars, the Apollo moon landings, the theory of evolution, global warming and the freedom of information act. Everyone left for Melbourne, it's all over, I've been doing all this shit with nothing but sock puppets, duct tape and mirrors and you've all been none the wiser! Wow dude, you should see the look on your face right now.. priiiiceless!



Still it's amazing what you can achieve these days with nothing but a kid's chemistry set packed with equal parts frozen orange juice concentrate and gasoline, powered by a few spare plutonium fuel rods, wired up to a quantum supercomputer and hit repetitively with the blunt end of a fire extinguisher. Sure, it's not exactly nightlife as we know it (and its DNA sequencing looks rather like a scrabble set just sneezed up all over itself) but for us it'll do! and where better to setup this mad science experiment than right here in the east end ghetto and down at Producers Bar!



Built on the nexus between two ley lines, opened as a "blood bank", condemned as a fire hazard, ground zero to that blackhole implosion that took out half of the Adelaide CBD back in the 60's (Beaumont children!? what Beaumont children!?), only to be burnt to the ground, rebuilt from scratch, reopened as a methlab and abandoned ever since? Yup, right here (or perhaps a few doors down) is right where the party's at tonight! Mmhmm! lick those walls, smell that urine, the rat droppings and taste the adventure! OOOH YES! we're in for one helluva party toniiight!



IT'S WARSAW! (***) myspace ::
Our first band for the night is (to put it mildy) the WORST fucking band in the entire Adelaide music scene. They're really that fucking bad, I mean they're terrible, I mean they're horrible, I mean.. arrr fuckit! there isn't even words to express just how much they defile the very basic tennants to which all music, or even the signal noise that Aphex Twin cooks up in his spare time with a busted up turntable needle and a few sandpaper discs could EVER aspire to! Shit damn! this feels good to let it all out finally! Seriously, I don't even know HOW this fucking band has managed to hold on for this long! Don't art-punks like this self destruct after 2-3 gigs and take all their audience of assymetrical haircuts and fashion weirdos along with them? Fuuuck I'm not even kidding! let's go through this point by point shall we? their drummer George can't keep a beat going to save his life, it's all *stomp stomp stomp snap clunk* "OH SHIT I just broke a kick drum!", bass player Tim and guitarist Scott barely know two chords or a rhythm between them, like they're strangling a cat out there thinly disguised as a melody, and don't even get me started on the rare strain of mental illness that drives Christian to distraction on lead. They can't hold a tune for more than two minutes, everything degenerates into noise and insult, they are without a doubt the WORST fucking band in Adelaide! Aaaaaah FUCK I love these freaks! :)










Yup, out've all the other shit Adelaide bands out there (and dude, don't make me name them all or we'll be here all day), it takes just the ONE shit band to take all their utter lack of talent and make something truly inspired and insane from it. It's Warsaw! are that band! Like Central Deli Band before them they're the ONE shit band that's perfected the art of being "shit". They've found that loophole, they've found their niche, and they're hammering it hard in ALL the wrong places. Call it punk, call it avant-garde, call it post modern, call it every name out've an episode of Gordon Ramsey's "Hells Kitchen" and you'll STILL piss balls out laughing everytime they fuck up a song, Christian curls up in a foetal ball screaming, collapses backwards off the stage, breaks half of their shit, attempts to fight everyone within arms reach, only for the whole thing to end abruptly the minute the venue staff pulls the plug on them. It's Warsaw!? awesome!




Well.. *cough* except for tonight, this gig was kinda shit. I mean fuck, besides a brief scuffle between Scott and Christian on stage (that ended up with Christian on the floor) they didn't even ONCE try and break a single piece of equipment or pick a fight with an audience member! I asks ya, where's the fun in that!? I want blood damnit! BLOOOD!! Still they DID get one or two good songs out there (I think?). This wasn't one of them, but I got it on video anyways.. enjoy!



And now for absolutely no reason whatsoever (except perhaps to distract you from that LAST review I just wrote): here's a photo of me wearing a stupid fuzzy hat I stole off Fox just moments earlier. Why? because it's a fuzzy hat, that's why! Yeah I know, I probably could have come up with a better explanation, but I don't have one *cough* aaaand we're moving on!



RADIO STAR (***1/2) myspace ::
Our second band tonight comes all the way from Melbourne, or more accurately (in the case of Zach Buchanan) comes all the way from that same chance spatial anomaly that all lead singers with Robert Smith (from The Cure)'s freaky vocal chords hail from. Science has yet to pinpoint their exact origin, or whether they possess the ONE set of vocal chords between them all and simply take turns, but we do have plenty of case studies to draw upon. Look no further than Kele Okereke from Bloc Party, Blain Harrison from the Mystery Jets, Owen Eszeki from Bit By Bats, Ben King from Expatriate or even that trigger happy Wolfgang from The Shiny Brights. The sound is unmistakable: that same shrill, wildly hysterically, wimpyarse timbre that belts out like a smoke alarm cross faded with a cat being run over, only slightly more melodious. It's hard to say whether this quality alone makes Radio Star infinitely more piss annoying or awesome but it's just ONE of many shitcrazy quirks that Radio Star have to offer tonight as clearly the voice is NOT the first thing you'd notice. No, that allergic response would go to the tangled forest you'd find yourself hacking through that appears to be a cross between an afro, a labradoodle and a hayfever sufferers worst nightmare. Why they decided to coordinate their haircuts and not their wardrobe is anyone's guess: but credit to them, they sure makes a memorable impression!












As for what the hell any of this mess actually sounds like? Radio Star sits somewhere between The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?", The Wombat's "Kill The Director" (and all manner of other piss annoying anthems The Wombats may have concocted recently that makes you want to poke two of your fingers through your eye sockets, into your brain and swirl them around for a while), throw in a tiny bit of Panic! At The Disco, pull the pin on the grenade and ruuuun! It's spastically happy, upbeat, overwraught and enthusiastic to the point of a mental illness; but for the most part it works, and by "works" I mean "OOOH CRAP WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!".



TYGER TYGER (****1/2) myspace ::
And speaking of shit that may quite possibly kill you if it was served up in a Japanese restaurant, raw, covered in seaweed and with a strobe light flashing, up next is our third and final live act for tonight: Tyger Tyger. Yup, we all know THESE idiots well enough by now. They're the all kinds of stupidly lethal you read about in tourist brochures that scream "come to Australia: get bitten by something weird with no known antidote, stay for the racism!" not necessarily because they're actually any good at what they do (especially not Trav on vocals we all know he's shit!), but more for the simple fact you'd want to be five flavours of fucked up drunk to truly appreciate the "finer qualities" of their sound. Which not only makes them a brilliant headlining act for any live venue in Adelaide where the plumbing that services bar taps is infinitely more sophisticated than the poor excuse for a sewerage leak that's currently flooding out the toilets (weee!), but also because they'll provide you with an instant "get out of jail free card" anytime you find yourself waking up in a car, up a tree, through someone's bedroom wall and with no clue how the fuck you got there. Tyger Tyger: they're the cause AND the solution to all of your drinking problems!








Tonight they come fresh from winning the state finals of the National Campus Band Competition, which I find a little odd, simply because from the looks of their drummer Mannix (who's gotta be what.. 12!?) I thought they had more chance in hell of qualifying for a high school battle of the bands than any six of them had a chance in hell of meeting the minimum IQ requirement to get accepted into university (which let's face it would be rather more fortuitous for their lead singer Travis, as high school is where he trolls for all his "prey" these days.. yeeeouch!). Still either way, congratulations guys, you deserve it! I'm sure it's aaaall going to be downhill from here!









As for their set tonight: they're the Artic Monkeys of thrashing guitars and obnoxious lyrics that are more shouted than sung. They're The Strokes of arsehole arrogance in everything but the fashion sense. They're a mixed bag of all those wacky 80's britpop bands like Madness or The Specials that throw in a trumpet solo for no good reason (although granted "Buttons & Levers" IS the coolest fucking shit I've ever heard). And they're also six too many band members, plus Fox on drums from Double Handed and the keyboardist from Billy Bishop Goes To War on the bongos making an absolute mess of "Play Rough" here (otherwise known as the singularly most awesome yet stupid use for a bongo ever attempted on a live stage at Producers Bar). Yup, for all this and many more reasons I'll be drinking myself retarded and cheering them on. Thanks Tyger Tyger! I'll be sure to send all my medical bills your way when they find me circling the drain come Sunday morning suffering chronic liver failure after your set tonight.. weeeee! :)



12:56AM - Moments after a freak stage collapse wipes out all eight extended members of Tyger Tyger (only for them all to crash land relatively unscathed in the straw filled "sacrificial" antichamber that Producers Bar has in their basement to store all the goats and chickens to feed their many "benefactors"). The bar staff board up the stage (to the sounds of muffled screams), scrape all the fingernails and teeth embedded into the walls, provide some "light refreshments", and the festivities continue well into the night as DJ Tr!p spins the decks and fills the dancefloor with geeks, nerds, dweebs and other exciteable misshapen freaks here for "Wish" tonight..



1:24AM - This is one of those establishing shots that endeavours to show just how much insane fun you could've had if you too showed up to "Wish" tonight (and in now way is meant to distract you from all the blood curdling screams of Tyger Tyger being eaten alive by the great Cthulhu)



1:42AM - Here's all the shiny happy people, simply overjoyed to be here tonight and in no way sweating in blind terror over whether they too would become the next victims to the slaughter..



1:47AM - Whilst also providing me with prime examples of the latest 2008 Spring Season's geek couture: such as THIS matching twin set in rectalinear frames and accented argyle..



and this genetic defect in swimming googles, shirt, tie and blazer that is either (a) Where's Wally's scaryarse cousin "Waldorf", (b) Rick Moranis, (c) The Red Baron, or (d) Igor the ever helpful lab assistant of Dr Frankenstein on his "night off" celebrating out on the town..



Hmmmm I wonder: which one of these two dribbling lunatics do YOU think is more likely to attack you with a hankerchief dosed in chloroform, drag you off to the nearest medieval castle / mad science laboratory (I hear there's one hidden in the basement under the Jade Monkey) only to harvest your brain, heart, liver and kidneys for their pet "reanimation" project? If you're answer is: "duuude.. the answer is obvious! clearly they're both working as a team, because that's a TWO man job!" then you're smarter than most and we'll be after YOU next!



1:57AM - Aaaah the simple joy that is drunks flourishing in their natural habitat! Don't you wish you could just take them all home for milk and cookies? and by "milk and cookies" I mean.. wait, what did you think I meant? ooooh you sick twisted fools! (and shit, why didn't I think of that!?)



Still if ever you want to make yourself look infinitely classier on a night out: nothing quite beats getting yourself photographed with people who are infinitely more hilariously shitfaced drunk than you are. Which would've been a brilliant scheme for just about anyone unless you just so happen to be as hilariously shitfaced as I am. Which is why both Emily and Stephanie are more than happy to appear in this photo (and also why I secretly hate them both.. youuu bastards!)



Although chances are just by posting all these drunkarse photographs in my blog for the ridicule and wonder of hundreds, I'll get my revenge! OOOOH YES! isn't that right Stef? weeeeee! :)



3:28AM - Still, alas, all good things must come to an end and when Producers Bar implodes out of our plane of existence like the freaky Poltergeist mansion that it is: all creatures both undead and unliving disappear back into the fiery cracks of the earth, leaving the rest of us dribbling fools (mortal or otherwise) to seek our continuing entertainment down westward way..



3:47AM - Which leads me all to predictably to this seething cesspool of shit down Hindley Street teeming ripe with a bubbling primordial swamp of drunks, punks, pissheads, airheads, alcoholics, inebriates, invertibrates and other such creatures of indeterminate species or origin to while the rest of night away in fun and frivolity (or in other words: kill ourselves retarded with beer!)



Or in other words NOTHING like what this photo represents as conclusive evidence of anything. As clearly all this shit (and anything you've seen above) is nothing but the work of hired actors shot on a sound stage down in west Hollywood (and filmed in front a live television audience!). It's fake, it's bogus, it's a conspiracy to hide the truth and you'll wake up moments later to realise it's all a dream. Why? because we all know Adelaide DOESN'T have a nightlife, it NEVER had a nightlife and none of this EVER happened! but still, doesn't it look like a whole lotta fun? :)



4:29AM - And clearly this isn't me at Supermild afterwards celebrating yet another night's successful hoodwinking with all my fellow co-conspirators who make all of this possible each and every week (not shown for obvious reasons). Aaaaah the fun times we've had fooling you all over the years! You should see the wacky shit we can pull with an open field of wheat, a plank of wood tied to an extended length of rope and some surveying equipment. Crop Circles, UFOs, The Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot (wow is that hangover a bitch!)? that's all us baaaaby! wooooo!



So, till next we meet for yet another exciting episode of Spoz's Rant: keep sending in those audition tapes, keep sending those scripts and resumes (and myspace requests) and you TOO could be part of the action! Adelaide's nightlife may be a myth, but we're living the dream! :)

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Rocket Science + The Shake Up + Mona Lisa Overdrive

:: Spoz 5:11 PM |
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