THE SHINE + TONY FONT SHOW
LIVE @ LIZARD LOUNGE / Saturday August 25th 2007
This is the Lizard Lounge live music venue, otherwise known as the Night Train complex on Light Square, otherwise known as the cheesiest song and dance dinner theatre restaurant in Adelaide. This place is of course not to be confused with that other place that used to be called the Lizard Lounge, otherwise known as the former downstairs basement Pizza Hutt on Hindley St, otherwise known as the most dingyarse low budget live music venue ever to grace the inner CBD since the infamous Cartoons live venue got condemned as a firehazard back in the late 90's. Yup, if you ever wanted to know what it would be like to perform in a crapshack medieval dungeon made out've styrofoam and cardboard, then THIS is the place for you! weeeee! :)KYRI
The final headlining act for the night is a touring glamrock band from Melbourne called The Shine and no despite all efforts (or my seriously badass photography skills *cough*) the overload of shots you're about to witness here could not hope to fully capture the mindblowing wank and cheese intensity that erupted forth from stage. Imagine Motley Crew combining forces with Aerosmith, Warrant, Thin Lizzy, The Darkness and Van Halen and you still couldn't make a cow big enough to match the cheese production, if they ever played a double bill with fellow Melbournites Airbourne we'd all die from the lactose overload and if Dominoes ever dared to kidnap these guys to add to their artery clogging triple cheese and cheesy crust pizza recipe then they'd damn near usher in the Apocalypse. The Shine were nothing short of the most hilarious circus act I've seen all year. Still, as much as I'm laughing my arse off as they attempt to throw power-wanking rock moves into nearly every single damn one of my shots, I gotta hand it to them they REALLY know how to put on one fuck of an A-grade performance! You monkeys can party on down here aaanytime! :)
Understandably so, things get just a LITTLE bit out've hand near the end of their set as Penmonicus is invited to invade the stage with about 10-15 of his drunken friends (an act I admit I was a little guilty of joining in on meself *cough*), before the band proceeds to rock out with the remainder of the crowd OFF the stage. Translation: throw away the cheese, the cow and that pizza, we got our apocalypse and a bucket of chicken right along with it! FUCK YEAH!!
For entirely too drunken and blitheringly unfathomable reasons (isn't it always the way?) we kick on the afterparty at this all too familiar Kentucky Fried hotspot on Hindley St..
as tonight this farty 'ol circus tent is host to a DJ night run by Craig Black (previously Friday night resident at The Cranka) for an event called "Gosh!". From the looks of all the alcohol fueled baboons packing up to the ceiling going apeshit it appears to be a howling success..
case in point, Exhibit A: Matt from Tony Font Show..
Exhibit B: Smoking Man Dave, here featuring in a sequel to this infamous photo
(the same one that featured in July's issue
of everyone's favourite artscene street mag: Excitement Machine)
Exhibit C: Dave Zunovich in one of his more upright moments (and lets all be ever thankful that at least he's wearing clothes this time, unlike his infamous appearance in THIS
and while we're at it: Exhibits D, E, F, G and H (shit isn't that me in that last one?) proving once and for all, that just because you've managed to buy yourself a shiny new fuckoff ninja camera that could shoot 1 million angels dancing on a pinhead in perfect clarity, doesn't necessarily mean it's gonna make you look any LESS drunk at the end of the night for using it..
and so once more we bid farewell to yet another night of live music mayhem, beer fueled carnage and all the stupifying wreckage of flailing limbs and head concussions in between (join us! joooooooin us! muhahahaha!) that continues to forever close the divide between the dizzying heights of human artistic endeavour and all the arse scratching simian DNA that plunge us to newfound lows. Or if that closing statement's way too intellectual for you to grasp at this late (or early) an hour, consider Sean Kemp's ever so friendly parting gesture instead..
Previously on Spoz's Rant: The Gels CD Launch