The Adelaide scene: to many of you it may be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctional splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
yup.. all you STAR WARS nerds knew this wuz gonna happen.. the word is out, GEORGE LUCAS is planning to re-release all the original trilogy of STAR WARS on DVD in all their original / non SPECIAL EDITION / stoner 70's and 80's glory.. yup, that's right.. just after you wasted all your money last year to buy that box set of extra shiny NEW SPECIAL EDITIONS on DVD (to replace all those old SPECIAL EDITIONS on video you bought back in '97).. now you can waste your money aaaall over again to buy these new NOT-SO-SPECIAL OLDSKOOL EDITIONS (the ones the geeks have been begging for all these years) just so you can enjoy the rarified excitement of watching "HAN SOLO shoot first" YEEHA!
go here to get the official word (ie: proof I'm not talking out me arse)
or go here, to get the much funnier report by some freaks at the WIRED website..
sure signs the apocalypse is nigh? you be the judge..
:: Spoz 6:39 PM |
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:: Thursday, May 11, 2006
THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING
up this week for SPOZ's CD reviews - we got 2 geek acts, 1 pseudo german-pimp duo and 1 straight up no bollocks british act.. so, lets dive on in shall we? ;)
HARD-FI - STARS OF CCTV in brief: no nonsense brit-rock rating - 4 / 5
this band makes for a classic tale of the pissed off underdog that comes from out've nowhere like ROCKY with both fists punching the air, hungry as all hell, looking to make break the shackles of a life of sex, drugs and on the doll to make a play for glory.. with only $2000 of hard earned savings between them to throw into producing a record.. they somehow come up with this - an absolutely addictive straight rock record that damn near blows the roof off..
this is no bollocks.. straight up.. no gimmicks.. no jokes.. catchy as all fuck ROCK N ROLL.. complete with all the soaring sing-along choruses.. the epic stadium filling grunt.. the mock string sections.. all those heart-on-the-sleeve lyrics yearning for answers.. so much so, it sometimes sounds too over the top in it's earnestness.. yet.. it's this desperation, this "we gotta make a mark on the world before we die a failure" energy that makes these freaks damn near likeable.. sure, they don't seem to possess a sense of humour.. and perhaps they could lighten up a bit once in a while.. but, with a sound this unbelievably catchy.. you can kinda forgive them.. kinda like OASIS's first record roaring out've your speakers.. this album demands to be heard..
sure, it may feel a bit too overblown to some people.. and some of the songs really push the limits of drama to the point of operatic cheese.. but still, there's more than enough here to really make for one helluva potent record.. a real hit, go get it!
highlights - CASH MACHINE, MIDDLE EASTERN HOLIDAY, GOTTA REASON, HARD TO BEAT, STARS OF CCTV
MY MORNING JACKET - Z in brief: spacey falsetto geek rock rating: 3.5 / 5
this album sounds like the exceptionally goofy and dorky offspring of an orgy gone wrong between THE FLAMING LIPS' vocal stylings and sci-fi hippy weirdness, the surf rock wackiness and cheesy harmonies of the BEACH BOYS, the embarrassing geekness of PINK FLOYD's mid 70's sounds with all the crazy wurlizer organs of a bad 70's am-radio band SUPERTRAMP thrown in for good measure.. it really shouldn't sound like anything more than a mad science experiment gone horribly wrong, and yet.. it somehow still works.. whodathunkit?
this album works best when it really rocks out - when all the frankenstein textures combine to come crashing around your ears.. as you experience the full force of all them wacky noodling space organs, surf guitar grooves, psychedelic backwards sounds and glamrock cheesy falsettos making something truly transcendant and spaced out.. but then just when things are getting good.. the slow songs just ruin it all by making something so unbelievably cheesy and embarassingly dorky you wondered why you're listening to this CD in the first place and not something much "cooler" and rock, like the latest TOOL album or QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE or something..
so.. it might take a little bit to get into, the first few tracks will definitely throw you off.. but by about song 4, it picks up a vibe.. and you may just start to really like this nonsense.. it's an aquired taste sure.. but, a worthy offering netherless.. try it out (if you dare!)
standout songs - WHAT A WONDERFUL MAN, OFF THE RECORD, ANYTIME
THE PRESETS - BEAMS in brief: krautrock pimp electro rating: 4 / 5
if only this album was released in the 80's, it'd be the ultimate soundtrack for NEW YORK stockbrokers to get severly fucked up rotten to as they run riot on one of their mass murdering cocaine binges throughout the most exclusive nightclubs and sleezy stripjoints about town.. it's a ridiculously grimey, howling and hedonistic mix of german porn grooves, stabbing 80's minimal electro and disco wacky electroclash aggression.. it sounds so wrong.. but it so freaking ROCKS..
nothing about this album is subtle.. everything from the stabby stabby kickdrums, trigger happy handclaps, grinding and bleeping synths to the obnoxious megaphone yelling vocal hooks just screams howling hedonistic self destruction.. it's like the german BERLING LOVE PARADE took a really bad turn down the streets of BAGHDAD and got seriously fucked up in a mess of limbs and decapitated heads, all with cheesy grins on their faces..
it's not the most consistent record.. the harder tracks really kick with fuckoff dancefloor brutality but the quiet songs mostly just miss the mark as they lurch around all drunk and lost, hoping for one last grope.. but overall, it's well worth it.. coz when this cranks.. it fucking annihilates.. get it and fuckin' lose ya head! :)
highlights - ARE YOU THE ONE?, DOWN DOWN DOWN, GIRL AND THE SEA, I GO HARD I GO HOME
HOT CHIP - THE WARNING in brief: geekrock electro fuzz rating: 4 / 5
this album could very easily be considered part of a growing movement of geek rock / electro crossover acts spawned by the legacy of RADIOHEAD's "KID A" album; as it pioneered that ever so quirky signture blend of space-cadet vocals, glitching and tweaking synth insanity and fuzzing guitars.. giving birth to a whole generation of emerging crossover acts like THE POSTAL SERVICE, LCD SOUNDSYSTEM, DATA ROCK and MOBY's latest forrays into cheesier 80's nerdrock synth anthems that are infecting our airwaves in greater numbers of late..
thankfully tho'.. these guys are no cheap imitations or copycats.. but instead craft a damn near perfect hybrid of indie pop-rock fuzz with electro / techno-freaky glitches and tweak out that's greater than the sum of it's parts.. all smooth and catchy vocal harmonies and wacky guitar fuzzings blending with exceptionally textured schitzoid spastic beats, cutups, robot vocoders, 80's bleeps and dribbling squeals to make for a sound that's truly infectious and endlessly addictive..
it all feels quite disarmingly cheerful and light like the perfect sunday afternoon comedown record.. but it's not without it's little quirks and personality.. mixing everything from tinkly bells, chimes, spoons, spastic grooves and evil EURYTHMICS referencing 80's iciness.. and if you listen in to the lyrics you realise just how sarcastic and twisted it all is.. yet somehow, it still remains so charming and agreeably cruisy that it's damn near impossible not to like it all (no matter how weird it may appear on the surface).. so, if you wanna trip out to something really wacked out and flickering.. check this shit out :)
highlights - BOY FROM SCHOOL, COLOURS, OVER AND OVER, THE WARNING
well.. that's all for this week.. but tune in next week for more reviews of the obvious, the obscure and the obnoxious.. eeeeee!
:: Spoz 11:03 PM |
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:: Tuesday, May 09, 2006
ROCKBOX
yeah.. ok.. this is a bit of a geeky post.. but after seeing the guitarist of THE BLACK DOVES running this on his ipod at the CRANKA, I thought this wuz worth mentioning.. why? coz I saw this lunatic using it to play DOOM on his freaking ipod.. yup.. that's right, DOOM kiddies!! ON HIS FREAKING IPOD!! no, not the movie you eeidiot.. but, the original 1993/1994 classic PC game in it's original chainsaw / shotgun / plasma rifle / BFG demonic badass'ness!! how freaking COOL IS THAT SHIT !!?
(hmmm.. I could've sworn I could hear the sound of crickets chirping..)
yup, anyhoo.. download this firmware replacement for your ipod / iriver (or wot'ever else next generation MP3 player you may happen to run) and yoooou too could inflict this level of carnage and much much more stupidity.. YAY :)
so, check it out yo.. shiny stuff!
:: Spoz 10:14 PM |
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:: Sunday, May 07, 2006
FALLING TO PIECES
hiya peeps! and welcome to another weekend edition of SPOZ's RANT!
now normally you'd expect to see me here writing endless dribbling nonsense about this, that and wot'not about wot'ever the fuck retarded shit I embarked on this weekend - the live bands.. the piling stack of dead bodies still moving to a syncopated beat.. the foaming intoxicants found in glasses, smashed on floors, slipping and sliding and seeping thru the air vents.. the rising stench of technicolour human decay.. the laughing menagerie of scattering animals and all the twatting alcoholic fun of it all.. but.. lets face it.. after wot I've lived thru recently out n about on the mad streets of Adelaide.. I'm completely knackered..
so, after the epic 3 night weekend I had just prior to this - featuring 8 bands, a hiphop MC battle and much drunken carnage kicking on afterwards (till well past dawn on most nights) which was then quickly followed on Tuesday night by a lunatic chilli longneck party, live bands this Thursday night, bands on Friday and Saturday night and all the other retarded shit in between.. I've damn near reached saturation point.. it's been like a freaking marathon maaaaan and my batteries have run well past empty reporting on all this nonsense.. I mean shit, I don't need to TELL you all this DO I? you've already read about it all in the blog.. sheeesh.. the crazy things I do to entertain all you people! ;)
so.. fuckit.. for this weekend's report I'm just gonna give you all the bare basics and let the photo's tell the rest of the story.. hopefully it'll still make sense.. if not, I'm sure to get a million and one questions about it in my comments box anywaze.. aaaHAHAHahAHAhAhAhA! (arrrrrr fuck!)
*ahem* anyhoo.. nuff of my personal shite, guess it's on with the show eh? :)
THURSDAY NIGHT tonight we have BOOSTER and TONY FONT SHOW playing at the JADE MONKEY..
so, to start things off.. here's a completely useless arty-farty photo of reflecting buildings and darkly lit interiors (which would be just about a perfect album cover for your next blitheringly random stoner indie desconstructive rock record.. yay!)
BOOSTER first up for the night.. here we have BOOSTER chugging out their signature hair metal 70's sound.. reminiscent of the raw fury of DEEP PURPLE, THIN LIZZY, SABBATH and complete with wacky falsetto's, churning guitar solo's and stomping bong loading percussive fury.. ROCK!
TONY FONT SHOW up next.. TONY FONT SHOW.. these guys need no introduction (since they've been in every freaking weekend blog of mine for the last 6 months or so) but.. as always, they blow the fucking roof off.. CARNAGE! :)
all in all, a nifty little Thursday's night out ;)
FRIDAY NIGHT here I am at FOWLERS LIVE tonight for MR WEDNESDAY's album CD LAUNCH, supported by the atmospheric crunching ambient sounds of QUA and MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY..
it's $15 on the door or $18 for door entry + shiny album.. so, obviously I opt for the album (only $3? wooo.. bargain!).. I've only given the album a spin or two so far, but from wot I've heard I'd definitely recommend you go buy it.. it'll melt ya ears and expand yer mind.. SPOZ likes :)
(from all appearances it looks like its gonna be a full house tonight)
QUA first up for the night is QUA.. now, I would've normally taken some trippyarse photo's of 'em.. but I mistook the act for being one of the support DJs instead (since it wuz mostly just one guy behind a bank of synths wooping up some trippy stuff) still, from wot I remembered.. he cooked up some damn cool madarse glitchy / ambient / hypnotic sounds.. nice one!
MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY up next we have MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY.. churning out DJ SHADOW / DJ KRUSH styled resonating drums and splinking synths that filled the air with a psychedelic haze of otherworldly sonic bliss.. really cool shit (note the trippy visuals too!)
with MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY finished for the night.. we next find ourselves a spot in front of the stage as the room rapidly fills up with a motley assortment of bohemian artists, swirling hippies, literary geeks, philosophy students and random stoners..
(take one guess for which lunatic friend of mine brought the *ahem* smoking paraphenalia.. hehehe)
MR WEDNESDAY after 20 minutes or so.. MR WEDNESDAY finally hit the stage.. featuring a drummer, guitarist, bass player, synth monkey, string quartet and a lead vocalist conveniently hidden waaay back to the rear of the stage.. if you look carefully, you might be able to spot him hiding in the background next to that podium in the 1st photo (that elusive little baaastard! ;)
their sound could be best described as a smooth swirling mix of mid 70's PINK FLOYD, TOM WAITS, THE DOVES and SIGUR ROS.. thrown into easy, light yet manevolent instrumental flows.. whilst the singer chimed various ominous words thru singing and barked megaphone filters.. seriously cool stuff too.. totally warped me brain out.. :)
with MR WEDNESDAY finishing up at around 12:30AM.. we while'd an hour or so at FOWLERS drinking beers till they closed up and we got kicked out.. at which point we then wandered to the FALAFEL HOUSE on HINDLEY ST for beer fueled snackage..
at about 2AM.. I finally make my way down to the CRANKA, where I spot this bartender chick up on the bar flapping her arms about.. apparently she does this a lot, since I vaguely remember her doing the exact same shit a week or two ago during happy hour.. hmmmm? mental illness or cheap entertainment? you be the judge..
many beers follow.. although, far below the usual amber flood.. and at about 3:30AM I find myself on the last bus home.. all in all, again, not a bad night out.. :)
SATURDAY NIGHT back at the CRANKA again tonight, I'm witness to LADY STRANGELOVE and CENTRAL DELI BAND cooking up a shitstorm of sublime hybrid mashing chaos to utterly twat me brain out (and ya know yer up for something truly bizarre and ecclectic night tonight when you see THIS collection of wacky instruments up on stage.. yay! bongos!)
LADY STRANGELOVE first up on stage.. LADY STRANGELOVE.. a group of colourfully crazed loons who formed a circle around their equipment with their backs facing the crowd, conjuring up a progressive instrumental swirling mix of chemical fueled electronica, live drums, saxaphone, bongos, guitar, bass, triggered voice samples and wot'ever else diabolical nonsense they seem fit to throw at us.. they sounded quite like wot oldskool CHEMICAL BROTHERS would be like if it wuz hit by a howling tornado and sent spinning in all directions at once into a 60's freakout timewarp (yet, with a groove you could dance too).. it really twisted me head up severe with all the howling feedback noises and farting synth breakdowns.. but DAMN it wuz cool.. :)
in between bands, I fuel up on beers.. only to be momentarily tripped out by the psychedelic mirrorball floating in the haze near the stage.. hmmmm, perhaps they put something in the beer tonight? ROHYPNOL perhaps? GBH? either way.. paaaaaa.a.a.a..a.a.rty!
CENTRAL DELI BAND and now, we have the headliners for the night.. CENTRAL DELI BAND.. and I mean this as an upmost compliment to you guys when I say this, but I reckon you could very well be THE MOST FUCKED UP LIVE BAND I'VE EVER SEEN in me entire life.. it wuz like a total howling mess out there.. all punk screaming, out've control garage rock, bouncy bouncy electro cheese.. band members constantly swapping instruments.. new band members turning up out've nowhere.. other band members constantly disappearing into the crowd.. at some stage I even remember being up on stage MYSELF with 20 other people without a freakin' CLUE as to how the hell I got there.. total fucking chaos..
yeah, just you try and figure out wot the hell is going on in these photo's..
yup, I really don't know what the FUCK this all meant.. I couldn't make head or tail of it.. and I'm really not even sure if it could be defined as actual MUSIC or not (it more resembled an out've control community theatre experiment on acid gone horribly wrong).. but, DAMN it wuz a freaking cool set all the same.. better than getting fucked up on bag of shrooms and hitting up a circus freakshow.. YOU GUYS ROCKED! :)
as per the norm after the gig.. many MANY beers followed and much stupidity resulted.. with me ending up a swirling mess of gibberish and brain damage as I spun the walls into a hairy mess on the dancefloor hooting like a retarded chimpanzee as much fun wuz had by all (if only I rememeber any of wot the fuck happened.. wooo!)
by about 3:30AM I'd had my fill, bid my farewell to the many colourful stains on the floors of the CRANKA as I staggered down the rainy streets to my last bus of the night..
home, 4AM.. exhausted.. unconsciousness..
*phew* and I'm done!
and seriously.. if ANY FREAKING IDIOT out there DARES call me in the next few days hyping on up about some fuckarse live gig, party, club night, gallery opening or public execution happening on a weeknight that demands I make an appearance (coz apparently EVERYONE wants to get on this blog lately - damn camera whores!) then I'm gonna go fucking hostile on 'em.. I don't care if it's the second coming of KURT COBAIN, JIMI HENDRIX and JOHN LENNON forming their own super group in me backyard.. I ain't having ANY part of it, and if at all possible I'm not planning gonna leave my house at night till at LEAST this FRIDAY.. coz I'm poop'd..
and really, I don't think that's TOO MUCH to ask.. if only Adelaide could just shut the fuck up for a few days and stop with all these damn gigs and give SPOZ a chance to recharge his batteries.. then I'd be happy..
damn you ADELAIDE and yer party crazed music scene.. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!! ;)