:: Friday, September 03, 2010

"WHAT HAPPENS ON MY NIGHT OFF, STAYS ON MY NIGHT OFF!"
..UNTIL I POST A BLOG ABOUT IT / Saturday August 28th 2010

Hi I'm Spoz and I run a "live music blog" on the Adelaide scene.. "WOWEEE.. YOUUU DON'T SAY!? please tell me MORE of the bleedingly obvious YOU FUCKING ARSECLOWN!!". Yeah yeah I know, but sometimes it really needs to be said just to remind us why we're here each week (or for those of you who've just tuned in: why you've been duped into reading it). Just as we're well aware this ISN'T a live music blog after all.. it's a binge drinking "lifestyle magazine" and I really ain't fooling anyone (just as this joke totally stopped being funny a LONG time ago). Either way duuude I gotta tell you.. running this blog is a BITCH, it's an absolute bitch! you wouldn't believe how much time and effort goes into it. I mean shit.. you're probably thinking it's all cocaine, cash parties and wall to wall strippers don't you? DON'T YOU!? YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS!! But it's NOT! it's really not, it's a living hell, I never get a moment's rest here and one day it will fucking kill me I swear! And the reason WHY isn't for any obvious reasons either. It's not everything you see happening on screen. It's not my nights out partying, drinking, laughing my liver inoperative, having the absolute time of my life.. FUCK MAAAN!! I could do that in my sleep, I could do that "Weekend At Bernie's" style and STILL rock the shit out of it! (aaaah and that was a fun night too! GOOD TIMES!!). Nope the real punishment here is in writing about it. And the worst of it is? every week I gotta come up with something "new" too! Every week, every fucking episode, I need to come up with a fresh concept or a theme to hide it behind, just so I can distract you from the simple fact that all I ever do is: go out, see bands and get drunk. That's all I ever do! "Well.. why don't you just go out, see bands, get drunk and NOT write about it then!? SHEEESH, TAKE A FUCKING HOLIDAY IF YOU'RE SO HUNG UP ABOUT IT!!". Yeaaah ok good point, even if I do feel a bit strange about having a conversation with myself here. And the fact is I've done that, plenty of that in fact, you've just never read about it. It's what I like to call "blowing a night off", it's the most fun you could ever have without being accountable for it and it's what I was very much planning to do AGAIN at The Exeter tonight; the difference being: for once you get to "read" about it. And if that ain't irony? I don't know what is!



Yup tonight was very much planning to be a non event. A TOTAL NON EVENT. HA HA HA duuude you weren't going to see shit. I mean hell, I still had a pending episode to complete on 20th Century Graduates: their launch party from last week (you might have read it already.. awesome huh? NO PLEASE DON'T FILE A COMPLAINT!!) and I knew I should have done it days ago (I've since back dated in the publishing so it looks like I was on deadline anyways.. HA!) and it was doing my head in. And the reason WHY was because the week leading upto it I simply had no fucking motivation. It happens sometimes, I totally blame it on the dreary winter weather draining the life out of me; as much as I spent most of that time playing retarded-arse video games, watching DVDs, flicking through back issues of XKCD and laughing my arse off.. I'm a contradiction, what can I say!? And tonight? oh I was paying for it in full. I totally blew my chance to see Megan Washington headline a sold out show at Jive (and hey, maybe I could've proposed marriage in my live review again). I totally blew off Günter & The Safeword playing at The Crown & Anchor. I totally blew off Jimmy & The Mirrors hosting a "Colour Party" at The Ed Castle (*phew* so dodged a bullet there too!). And instead I was totally glued to my laptop, screaming insults at the screen, wondering why I couldn't come up with anything. And then at long last I finished that final review (as much as it was 80% padding, 15% unnecessary superlative and 5% content) and then I thought "fuck it.. I'm gonna get drunk!". And one bus trip later? yup here I am at The Exeter staring at a drumkit. Hmmm?



Now obviously I'd put some thought into this; even if I almost always end up at The Exeter on my "night off" simply because it's next to Palace/Nova Cinema Complex where I can justify the whole binge-drinking exercise that follows with a preceding dose of "cinematic culture" (yes I'm rolling my eyes at that too and I haven't even told you WHY yet) in fact the last time I did this, actually leads to why I'm here tonight.. even if the movie in question "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World" was showing at Norwood Cinema instead (maaan that places stinks!). Anyhoo.. turns out I had a beer at The Exeter afterwards, caught a bit of Bastard Sons Of Ruination (and I highly recommend them too, probably mentioned that before? ) and as I departed on my way to "binge drinking destination B" I bumped into Florentina Pergoleto, drummer for The Aves. I didn't know her for a can of beans, but she totally recommend I catch their band sometime (and beats me why too!? I mean it's like I'm stupidly "infamous" in the Adelaide scene but they forget what I'm infamous for: I RUIN LIVES PEOPLE, FUUUCK!!). In response I might have said something incredibly stupid, she added me on facebook anyways, and here's one of her cymbals now sticking it's tongue out at me.. go figure?



Of course there's many reasons why I picked this gig for my "night off" . Firstly they asked nicely. Secondly I very much enjoyed the idea of snubbing three (potentially) head explodingly a-grade gigs for this.. HA HA HA! EAT THAT YA FUCKS!! Thirdly they were playing two sets: one at 10, one at 11, which timed up rather nicely with my overriding urge to get rubbishingly shitfaced tonight (and at the very last minute I might add), suffer a skull fuckingly horrendous hangover the next day and delay the release of that 20th Century Graduates episode by even more than was entirely necessary (simply to drive their guitarist Alex Ciaravolo insane.. an ongoing hobby of mine) and since it was at The Exeter: the awesomest pub in all of Adelaide to get rubbishingly shitfaced at? it was pretty much a done deal. And as for why I'm writing a blog about it? yeaaah good question!



THE AVES (****1/2) myspace ::
A question that was pretty much answered the minute they arrived on stage for their second set. Or more accurately after I caught the last five minutes of their FIRST set, downed two or three beers in the interim and thought "you know what? fuck this.. it'd be hilarious!" (as much as I'd already pulled this prank with that "nervous breakdown" blog back in March and with that Buster Fidez blog back in February but do we really care at this point?). Yup this is The Aves. Don't ask me how to pronounce it as I'm pretty sure I fucked it up myself (I mean is it with a "U" emphasis or an "A"?) but they are every reason justified for coming to The Exeter tonight.. DUUUDE ARE THEY EVER!! And if things turned out differently I totally would've caught them six weeks ago too at one of those infamous "alleyway shows": only a generator blew up, their show got cancelled, fifty odd people went to drink goon in a warehouse instead and..? oh yeaaah they're totally ONE OF THOSE BANDS (aka: The Witch, Fake Tan, Stan "You're Going To The Wrong Shows" Mahoney) but either way I'm no less thankful I caught up with them now. As such (and in the simplest of terms) think of them as Patti Smith fronts The Libertines: as much as their lead singer Lucy Campbell has that same "lived in" quality to her voice (as much as you could also throw in elements of Grace Slick from Jefferson Airplane and maybe even Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs on acoustic to round it out) while the band around her possesses that same jangling 60's style britpop swagger. But obviously that barely scratches the surface, there's so much more eclectic shit swirling about in here, so at a stretch think Patti Smith fronts The Libertines only mixed in with Pavement, The Strokes, Split Endz and an A-Z of New York inspired art punk (only in the purest primordial sense of it) then picture it performed in a style so blissfully casual and nonchalant they could totally fall out of bed horribly hungover, light up a cigarette and STILL cough up genius again and again and THAT'S what we're dealing with here.. "DUUUDE!!". Yes I know, and they only get better the more you hear it too. Fronted by Lucy with her loose rhythm guitar riffs, vocals half slurred (and all the better for it), she provides the main focus in selling it. But with the band absolutely killing it in accompaniment they're more an all-star ensemble in delivering it. Thomas Williams provides a proverbial "sketch pad" in scribbling flourishes and rapid fire solos on lead guitar; Tasman Strachan goes for a jerky, stabbing, swinging off kilter rhythm on bass; while Florentina Pergoleto pulls it all together with a spideringly light percussion on drums; and in combination they might sound equal measures dog's breakfast and happy go lucky in threadbare arrangement but it never fails to pull mad shapes in your mind all the same. More befuddlingly still their songs frequently and unexpectantly slip in and out of covers like they're using them as live performance "mix tapes": referencing everything from "Help" by The Beatles, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by Devo (by way of The Rolling Stones) to "Good Golly Miss Molly" by Little Richard and that's just to name a few. They perform a wacky love letter to Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park called "Ian Malcolm" (with Florentina on vocals). They perform a rapidfire homage to shambolic Alleyway shows in the form of "Alleyway Blitz". I mean there's just so much swimming about in this mess to inspire you it'd literally take hundreds of pissy indie disco "buzz bands" on a hundred microkorgs to match their genius and they'd still come up short; and I'm not the only one bugging out to this shit either. The crowd here are dancing up a swinging 60's storm, they're the ones screaming for an encore, only to scream for another encore after that, random passerbys are poking their heads in eyes wide as saucers only to join in the fun, I swear this beer I'm drinking has never tasted SO good, I mean WHERE THE HELL HAS THIS BAND BEEN ALL MY LIFE? FUUUCK!! Yup that's The Aves. Just when you thought I could blow the whole night off, get rubbishingly shitfaced and forget it all? they're the ones to pull me back in!











Just to sweeten the deal tonight, they were also giving away free copies of their demo. In fact their lead singer Lucy even tried to palm off two copies to me, only I gave a her weird look in response and she was all flustered "no.. no really, give one to a friend!" like she was peddling stolen goods all a sudden.. and so I did just that when Frank Lloyd (former drummer for Kytes Of Omar) walked by (he's got a new band apparently, who knew?). Oh and how ridiculously genius is that cover design? I'm told the band individually hand "painted" each and every one of them by kidnapping a prize pigeon to crap on it; seriously! And if you were real lucky you might even have scored one when it's a dove doing the doo-doo instead. Total collector's item in years to come? I'm sure of it!



Better yet here's the hand written tracklisting. As much as I'm utterly unsure whether they actually have a song called "The Aves" (it's a five track demo) or if they're just listing their band name up top, because otherwise there's a totally unlisted song in the middle with lyrics that go something along the lines of "being cockney at The Crown & Anchor" that doesn't relate to anything written here. Also I could've sworn the demo was called "The Inner Mind", it's not, it's actually self titled. Just as I'm also told other CDs sport such whimsical titles as "Lucy As A Youngster" and "Har Har". And if there's a thin trickle of blood pissing out of your left nostril right now because all of this randomness is causing you a fullblown aneurysm? don't worry you're not the only one! I mean is it just me or are all the most talented, creative, clownshit awesome bands in the Adelaide scene right now reduced to playing obscure-arse show in alleyways, warehouses, train stations and toilet cubicles? AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I IN COVERING ALL THIS!? I know.. I know! don't get me started! as much as it starts with "The Ed Castle" and ends with "I so don't know shit on what's REALLY going on with the Adelaide scene". And people wonder why I drink so much!? FUUUCK!!



1:33AM - Which by an all too convenient segue brings me back to the real task at hand tonight, and arguably what The Exeter was originally built for, and that's drinking myself into a blissful oblivion. I mean shit duuude it IS my "night off" afterall; as much as I really admit it's a lousy way to spend it, I mean c'mon don't I have any other hobbies in life!? do I even have a life at all!? I'M THIRTY FOUR FERFUCKSAKE!! Yes.. yes I do, I'm living it in the here and now, and lemme tell you maaan it's a fucking awesome thing to behold; I'm like a king amongst men! And as for why I'm photographing this corner of the bar right now to signify this utterly inauspicious moment? Well as much as it IS an annoying "nervous tick" of mine to pretty much shoot anything or anyone that's standing in front of me that isn't otherwise threatening me with a court ordered "cease and desist"? I'm just rather fond of this corner for its aesthetic qualities is all. No really, it's the "well worn" character of it that appeals to me the most: all those yellowing fliers, photos, business cards, the loosely scribbled gig listings.. how could I not drink the FUCK out of this pub in honour of that!?



2:31AM - Better yet.. it's only after gulping at it like a goldfish for a solid hour's drinking that I finally discover THIS staring at me right in the face "WHOAAA!!" (or if you don't quite get it yet, it's there on the left). I mean seriously on a freezing cold night like this, how could I possibly resist!?



3:12AM - And then when I finally DID regain partial function of my faculties again (brain.. what brain? I'm nothing but liver damage that's become self aware!) I realised just how genius a choice in beverage that was too.. OOOOH FUCK YEAH!! and this SO ain't gonna delay the publishing of that long delayed 20th Century Graduates episode until sometime after Monday morning is it!? HA HA HA of course not! My body is nothing but a temple and monkeys are pissing in it as I speak!



3:15AM - Closing time at The Exeter, taking a moment to soak it all in, all those scattering issues of Rip It Up very much living upto their namesake, fluttering about in absence of breeze. Aaaah 'tis a wondrous thing isn't it!? so simple, so utterly captivating! I mean sometimes there's just so much beauty in this world it's like I can't take it and my heart is just gonna cave in or explode or.. "what? oh hi security! yeaaah I know it's closing time, it's for a blog I'm writing, it's a problem, I'm dealing with it and no you don't have to throw me out I know where the exit sign is".



3:51AM - Now you might be wondering by this point if I did anything else other than stare into the infinite at The Exeter tonight and drink myself delerious like some weird loner guy. Now obviously the first answer to that is "no" and yes I've left a lot of detail out (aaaah the stories I could share.. the crazy adventures I got upto!). And secondly? ferfucksake maaan it's my "night off" and that's none of your business! I mean seriously I'm still entitled to a private life aren't I? I don't have to tell you everything do I!? what gives YOU the right to pry into my personal effects, huh? HUH!? oh I'm on the internet is THAT what you're telling me!? Sheeesh it's people like YOU that piss me off the most! I almost have the mind to post this on twitter, then on my facebook so that all my "friends" who I've never met before in my entire life can rightly comment their utter indignation over you having even asked that question! FUUUCK!! Oh and as for what all that's got to do with THIS photo? hehehehe yeaaah that's just me at Supermild. I've completely run out of punchlines to accompany that but shit damn I'm proud of this long neck bottle of beer all the same. It's like I'm hoisting a flag with it: "here's to my Saturday night and FUCK YOUSE ALL!!".



3:53AM - And it was moments later that I'm then interrupted by someone, I forget who exactly, clearly it's not important; who told me the even LESS important news that Griffy Griff was wearing a suit and tie. Griffy.. who? HA HA HA WHO THE FUCK CARES!? I SO gotta get me a photo of this!



And do you wanna know what's even more stupidly pointless than THAT!? following it up with a second photo featuring me being an hilarious dickhead in front of him! YEAAAS!! WOOOO!! Oh and I could also mention while I was doing this shit that I spotted Adam Liaw, winner of MasterChef 2010 having a quiet drink in the beergarden but I'm pretty sure that's of no interest to anyone.



4:45AM - Aaaah this truly was a Saturday night well wasted figuratively and literally as much as I honestly swear I had nothing at all to do with that beer bottle you see there on the right. Ooops!



Yup that's me writing a blog about the "night" I have when I'm not writing a blog about it. As much as it IS a blog and this is me using it as a pissy "excuse" to cover for it. Even more so when we consider THIS blog, just like every other blog you've ever read, is essentially the same blog told a thousand times over: I go out, see bands and get drunk. I do this every week. EVERY FUCKING WEEK!! It never gets old, it never gets dull, I could do this for the rest of my life! as much as it drives me screaming up a wall trying to come up with new ways to write about it. Even weirder still? in spite of all this you keep coming back to read about it. Aaaah I like that irony the best of all!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Radio Spectacular!!! + Neon Electric + The Honey Pies

:: Spoz 2:55 PM |
...

RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! + NEON ELECTRIC + THE HONEY PIES
"SUGAR BABY, HONEY CHILD" LAUNCH @ ROCKET BAR / Friday August 27th 2010

Every week I swear this shit drives me completely fucking insane. EVERY WEEK! It drives me to the very brink and beyond, it drives me laughing over the edge of a cliff for a five point crash landing (read: exploding fireball) arms and legs akimbo, it throws me a little party in the impact crater, we toast our success in all things howlingly stupid and nonsensical and then it drives me back again good as new (hangover be damned!) so we can do it all over again next week like Wile E. Coyote? OOOOH FUCK YEAH!! And it's the best feeling ever lemme tell you! I mean why ELSE would I repeat this shit well beyond the point of ridiculously retarded and redundant? to keep a "live music blog" regularily updated on the Adelaide scene!? FUCK THAT!! I totally do it for me maaan! I do it for the mad fucking buzz! I do it for a general sense of wellbeing! (ooops there goes my liver again!). For as much as it DOES drive me "completely fucking insane"? (and then some) I like to think it keeps me totally sane too.. HA HA HA no shit duuude! (no really, why are you looking at me like that!?). As despite all evidence to the contrary I'm a tourist here not a resident. This is my five star freak retreat, this is my extreme sport for the mind, THIS is how I stay weirdly centred in an increasingly asinine and dysfunctional society! Or at least it does in theory. In practice? yeaaah it's a little more complex. Every week this shit accumilates a long list of hilarious anomalies, errors and excess baggage to deal with (and I'm not just talking about all the demo CDs, singles, EPs and albums I'm continually emptying out of my pockets either.. oh I never get sick of those!). Every week it's a battle and a half to clear them all out of my head in time so I don't totally lose it before the next one hits (duuude don't get me started!). Winter's clearly the worst for pushing me over that edge and leaving me there, especially now after three long months WAITING FOR IT TO FUCKING END!! (yeaaah not like you've noticed!) and this last week of it? oh maaan it's been the WORST!! It's been nothing but the same dull grind every day: nothing but freezing cold melancholy in wind, rain and grey skies eating at me until there's nothing left save for writer's block, sleep and sunlight deprivation and a raging case of "cabin fever" screaming up these four walls. And to make matters worse? after all that shit, out of all the blackening "hell holes" in Adelaide (thinly disguised as live venues) that I swore I'd never EVER return to? I'm here at Rocket Bar tonight!? GET FUUUCKED!!



Yup tonight was a tough call. "What? even tougher than last Friday at The Ed Castle!?" pfft.. are we even comparing the two!? that was freaking rainbows, kittens and lollipops compared to this shit (and never a more apt description for Princess One Point Five too!). Nope I just didn't have the energy, I just didn't have the motivation, I just didn't have the raw animal drive to do anything at all but stare blankly into the infinite abyss and blow bubbles in my mind, it might've even sounded a little like this too: "pfffpblpblpblpblpbl.." awesome huh? TOTALLY, I spent all week practicing it! But of course not everyone shared in my "enthusiasm". At least not Radio Spectacular!!! who were launching their shiny new EP at Rocket Bar tonight with a whizzbang "1000 Colours Party" (yes 1000 colours at Rocket Bar, I'm aware of the irony!) and they would've given the world for me to attend or at the very least a free bag of lollies and a door spot to sweeten the deal. Awwww I know! and I believe my response went something like this too: "so what you're saying is? if I bring my camera into the very heart of Mordor, crawl hands and knees up the scorching surface of Mount Doom, screaming obscenities all the while and take some photos, or not (it's upto me) you'll totally give me a cookie?". Or in other words, yeaaah did I mention how much I FUCKING HATE Rocket Bar!?



"but.. but.. we got balloons! BALLOONS!! everyone loves balloons riiight?".



But then along comes Simone.. aaaah Simone! sweet, adorable, borderline batshit insane Simone! dearest friend and bane of my blogging existence, facebook fanclub secretary, currently shrieking hysterically behind this wooden beam.. yeaaah I know Rocket Bar totally has that effect on people (and you should see it on a BAD night!). She came up with a better plan for my Friday night that didn't involve me eating an entire can of Heinz spaghetti, on a toilet seat, wondering where the fuck my life went this week (oh wait.. I'm sitting on it!) instead she offered a few quiet drinks at The Exeter? The Ed Castle? fuck it maybe even The Grace Emily where we ended up earlier only to discover Tim Rogers playing an acoustic set "wait? where the photos then!?" yeaaah trust me you didn't miss much, as we obviously ended up at Rocket Bar. And no, it wasn't for all the balloons either but at the very least? she DID get me out of the house.. no mean feat lemme tell you!



For in the end I figured I might combine all the above plans: launch party at Rocket Bar, a few quiet drinks with Simone and possibly me eating Heinz on a toilet seat if time permits (well I can STILL dream can't I?) into the one big "monster plan" whilst simultaneously annoying the piss out of the organisers of said launch party (hi Radio Spectacular!!! regretting your insane decision yet!? WOOOOHAHAHAhAhAhAHaHAHA!!) by ONLY agreeing to cover it on the condition they not only put Simone on the doorlist, but totally presented her with her own complimentary bag of lollies too. I mean hell.. if worse comes to worse and they flatly refuse thinking I'm the world's biggest arsehole for bargaining this shit (well we certainly have enough precedent for that don't we?) I can stand firm happy in the knowledge I won't ever have to step foot in Rocket Bar, they can totally dodge a bullet on me writing that live review (aaaah I know Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire! if only huh? if only!) and I can totally get drunk somewhere else off the record tonight.. EVERYONE WINS!! Except as we can see they totally caved into my demands (pfft.. you fools!), I never got to eat out of a can (excuse the pun) and HERE WE ARE a bag of lollies in hand like the prize jackass I am!? SHIT YEAAAH!!



And ain't everyone simply OVERJOYED to see me too? here at Rocket Bar: the deepest darkest blackening "crack den" of the Adelaide scene? Rocket Bar: where everyone's hopes and dreams go to die? hosting a "1000 Colours Party"!? oh yeaaah, this is SO gonna be the BEST. NIGHT. EVER!!



THE HONEY PIES (***1/2) myspace ::
Which brings us somewhat ominously to our opening act. And NO I'm not the only one feeling this way either (or at least if their lead singer squinting awkwardly into the stage lighting is anything to go by) and yet for once all this "blackening dread" might be totally unfounded and simply in our minds. Strange but true! I mean sure, Rocket Bar might STILL feel ever so uneasily like someone, or a great many someones up and died in here (and possibly because they were gassed in a mass execution/act of genocide). Or possibly it was just that ONE person peeing in the corner during a hiphop show (after eating a too much cabbage and/or onions?) and now it's haunting the place like a ghost. Or perhaps they're keeping reptiles in here now (shape shifting reptilians!? it would sure explain a lot!). Or maybe it's just all three combined into the one rich "potpourri" and it's somehow gained "omniscience" and now they're worshipping it as a God!? (just as I still swear Electric Circus broke in here earlier this year and hocked off all their furniture for drugs.. let alone all their lamps, paintings, anything resembling "warmth" and "character"). But even so? check it out duuudes: for the first time here in well over a year they totally have some FREAKING STAGE LIGHTING!? YEAAAS!! FUCKING YEAAAS!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!! (well actually you do, you need only read every other blog I've ever posted about Rocket Bar since late 2008 bitching about it). Still as much as this IS a miraculous turn of events and it's doing wonders for my ability to photograph this band tonight without having to throw my camera clean across a room screaming obscenities at it (save for Tony Marshall on guitar all but disappearing off to the left there, but yeaaah we can't have everything) it couldn't have picked a worse night for it to happen. For Jon Marco, lead singer of The Honey Pies has been cruelly struck down with a mad case of the pink eye. YES, PINK EYE!! and oh look now we have all this shiny stage lighting just to make it even MORE glaringly obvious!? JOY!! And this wasn't just a "teeny tiny you'll barely notice it" pink eye either. OOOOH FUCK NO!! We're talking "repetitively punched in the right retina by Mike Tyson" pink eye, we're talking "acid spitting xenomorph threating to burst out of his skull any minute now" pink eye, we're talking "OH MY FREAKING CRAP ITS LOOKING RIGHT AT US!! RUN CHILDREN RUN!!". Or as Jon rather whimsically refers to it as his "chlamydia of the eyeball" because as it turns out he was savagely rogered in the eyesocket by a Mongolian plague bearing rat and now each and every one of us is going to die! And lemme tell you, I'm damn thankful it did too! and not for all the heartless reasons you might think of (well ok.. it kinda is). For as much as it IS cruel and excessive of me to make such light of it and admittedly I WAS briefly tempted to get a close up photo of it and laugh myself silly over publishing it for the whole world to see (only to reconsider at the very last minute); since my only real course of action at Rocket Bar tonight, after agreeing to all this shit, was to drink myself so skull fuckingly retarded I'd never remember being here in the first place (which considering I'm writing a blog about it kinda makes it laughingly redundant) means I actually didn't remember much of anything of their live set tonight.. OOOPS!! Or at least not in detail. Or at least not in any detail I actually made note of (yeaaah not like you'd ever notice from anything I've written so far). So tonight it's all about Jon Marco's pink eye "PINK EYE!! AAAAHAHAhAHaHA PINK EYE!!" and fuck all else. Still as much as I CAN gather (or guesstimate) from the rest of it? their set was hard, fast, loose, like they were in a mad hurry to get the fuck out of there and as much as this made for an all but understated outing? in the very least Jon Marco didn't break any strings on his guitar; which is an awesome victory all in itself. Yup that's The Honey Pies. It was a "blink and you'll miss it" affair tonight (sorry.. bad pun, couldn't help myself) and very likely the stupidest damn review I've ever written about them in following (and I totally missed out on the first four song too!? SCORE!!), but for providing such light relief in the opener? aaaah it's still ever so welcoming all the same!










NEON ELECTRIC (****1/2) myspace ::
Now at this point of the night (if you hadn't already picked up on the "subtle" subtext here) I was very much tempted to blow the whole thing off: bands and all, doorlisting be damned "duuude it's not you, it's me and my dysfunctional relationship with Rocket Bar that's to blame!". Oh I wanted nothing better than to get hideously and hilariously drunk ANYWHERE ELSE BUT HERE (yes.. even at The Ed Castle!) wake up the next day pissing myself laughing in a gutter somewhere or floating out to sea (either/or is fine by me) only to eventually realise, a billion received text messages later (ooops!) that I might've accidently "forgotten someone" in my mad panic to flee; eventually come back to retrieve them shrieking hysterically and swatting at imaginery bats in the corner; and short of a few months of intensive psychotherapy and a shitload of ciprofloxacin? I think we could totally put this whole experience behind us (as much as it's actually been rather pleasant so far, go figure?). But all THAT was before our second act made an appearance on stage: one of those chance few live acts that I dare say suit the "soul sucking blackening interior" of Rocket Bar, and even more surprisingly still? are all the better for it! Yup this is Neon Electric. You may recognise them as both Mario Spate on vocals/synths and Tony Irish on drums from The Killgirls. And in the simplest terms you could consider them their "paired back" electronic counterpart, in quite the same way that Van She Tech acts as companion piece to Van She (or in somewhat less insulting terms? Too Many DJs to Soulwax). And as for WHY this suits Rocket Bar? well I guess I've always had this vision ever since this place started back in 2005 that it'd be perfect for the darker more malevolent edges of indie. Think monochrome post punk, angular art rock and electroclash. Think uber fashionable Pitchfork recommendations flipping you the bird. Think the nearest touring scene equivalents of Interpol, Ladytron, The XX, The Knife, The Liars, Peaches, Animal Collective and Deerhunter. Maaan they'd totally rock the shit out of this joint something fierce, they'd totally make all this impenetrable "evil" resonate in a way that'd make it damn near beautifully poetic (or at least much more poetic than fucking Jupiter Lead). In fact some of the best nights I've ever had here have been just that. Teenagersintokyo instantly springs to mind, My Disco, Young & Restless, Steering By Stars (if the douchebag DJs didn't kill the buzz in the intervals), Zeta's EP launch party back in 2008, Bit By Bats in 2006; and Neon Electric in following tonight? very much fit that bill. In essence you could consider them a Modular / Ed Banger / DFA dancefloor mindset. Sharp as fuck, chunky 8bit brutal, mechanoid electro, Mario's icey synths and falsetto vocals (frequently filtered "split personality" style through a robot vocoder) perfectly sliced and diced by Tony's metronomic drumming. Or in other words mix in everything from Pnau, Digitalism, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Cut Copy, Bag Raiders and Groove Armada's "Black Light" together and you'd get pretty close to the mark. And yes I know what you're all thinking, and YES you'd be dead right too.. for all the above influences I WOULD usually pick them apart as being nothing more than a hipster tragic wank fest (dare I cite examples!?). But that's only because it's been rare to find a band that nails it as authentically as this one and better yet adds to it; and not just all the surface sheen, but all the darker depths as well. Every song nails it in itchy trigger precision. Every song's utterly and instantly infectious in a way you SWEAR you've heard it all before, only you've heard it for the first time. There's nary a dud note among them to the point you swear they're coin operated: especially in Tony's drumming that very much references the cold calculating attack of a mid 90's Chris Vrenna from Nine Inch Nails (check out the video, it's freaky as all hell!). They do a mad cover of Blur's "Boys & Girls" only to crossfade it into a cover of New Order's "Blue Monday". They're every awesome exception to my ongoing belief that all indie disco should be buried with a bullet, a shovel and a salting of the earth.. Neon Electric!? Seriously duuudes, you totally made my night!









RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! (***1/2) myspace ::
Which brings us somewhat "comically" (but I swear in no way anticlimatically) to our headlining act. I mean just look at them pulling such sublime "uber goober" shapes on stage: Norman Bates "The Next Generation" Vs. Bette Midler's dorky kid sister? or is it Pee Wee Herman Vs. Ugly Betty? or is it the sci-fi convention "bizarroverse" of Mulder Vs. Scully done like an episode of Art Attack on a mad tab of acid!? either way maaan we've totally hit the jackpot here, there's no doubt about it! and to think it was such a "hard sell" for me to leave the house tonight, let alone agree to this shit? HA HA HA DUUUDE HOW COULD I NOT!? I mean they're the gift that keeps on giving! They're everything this retarded-arse blog was damn near invented for in piss taking hilarity! And it's not just thanks to all their shitcrazy balloons, streamers and inflatable menagerie they have exploding everywhere like a children's party gone horribly wrong (and check out that inflatable flamingo, how ridiculously awesome is that!?) or the fact they've got most of their instruments propped up on an ironing board in lieu of a proper keyboard stand (with a flowery pink cover!?) or the fact "Dweebie Nicks" there is wearing a cape, A FREAKING CAPE PEOPLE? "HA HA HA wait, I gotta catch my breathe here.. WHAT THE FUUUCK!?". Yup this is Radio Spectacular!!!, every one of their three exclamation points is very much integral to their name (nay part and parcel of their "nerd-gasmic" sex appeal!) and they are without a doubt THE DORKIEST BAND ALIVE in the Adelaide scene. And I don't just make that claim lightly either. As we've arguably seen our fair share of exceptional uber goobers in the past from Meanwell College, Clue To Kalo, Love Zombies, Zeal, Mad Shapes to Pablo Libido & The Wild Robots (to name but a few). But no other band quite compares to their a-grade level of head exploding geekiness.. OOOOH FUCK NO!! they're in a loud and proud league all of their own! In fact this may be as much a blessing as it is a curse, especially in their near impossible attempt to conquer Rocket Bar with their "1000 Colours Party" tonight. And it's not just because we can't shake that inescapable feeling we're watching R2D2 and C3PO here single handedly take on the fucking Death Star with a sonic screwdriver (and yes I'm aware I'm mixing two sci-fi franchises together and I'm not afraid to admit it!) but more for the fact this ISN'T the first time they've tried it either. Nope, most recently that was back when they played here in October 2009. Naturally it was pitch black with no stage lighting to show for it (or any lighting for that matter save for the bar and the Crazy Horse sign across the road), guitarist Harry Worth couldn't see where the fuck he was going, fell off stage, broke his wrist and the band was put on ice for six weeks. SIX WEEKS!! (but at least he wrote an hilariously nerdy blog in the interim, so it wasn't a total loss!). But now like the ridiculously doe-eyed deer they are? OH THEY'RE BACK BAAABY!! And tonight they're everything head explodingly awesome from Hotchip, Chicks On Speed, Architecture in Helsinki, Datarock, Le Tigre and Devo all rolled into one. They're both Harry Worth on guitar and Phebe Rendelic on keys busting a mad puppet show pantomime in oddball facials, spirit fingers, bubble gun cascades and robot dancing (as much as I suspect Harry looks this goofy even when he isn't on stage). They're every single one of your geek gamer fantasies come to life.. YEAAAS!! Still it's obviously an uphill battle for them, Rocket Bar would truly offer nothing less in an impenetrable gloom. Just as I was equally waaay too hilariously drunk to remember fuck of anything they did in triumphing above and beyond it as much as it taunted them too (for one drum machines always seem to lose out in volume to live drummers and it bugs the crap out of me!). Either way I was pissing myself laughing for a good portion of it so that's easily a good thing, and by the time "1000 Colours" hit in the finale? ooooh there wasn't a dry leg left in the house, from mouth breather to pencil neck we were united as one in a roaring shouting mass unanimous; what an experience! what a show! what a memory long since obliterated! Yup that's Radio Spectacular!!! They might be the proverbial underdog here. They might be the ongoing butt of my jokes (and how!). But they're building a cult following, we saw them all out there tonight. They're honing their craft, they're turning that tide! And one day soon? duuude they'll have you dork dancing like there's no one else in the room!











12:48AM - With the show ending in much rapturous applause, as much as you can't quite tell from the video (but check it out Phebe's totally emptied out her bubble gun in all the excitement, it was THAT fucking crazy! YEAAAS!!) I'd usually love nothing better than to soak up all the good time vibes customary at such a "triumphant" EP launch party. I mean there's all the drinking, the drinking and did I mention all the drinking? and maybe even a slow dance with their inflatable lion (I like to call him Cedric) but pfft who are we kidding here duuude!? And no I don't mean YOU Radio Spectacular!!! no.. no.. I freaking love you dweebs! (I bought your EP "Sugar Baby, Honey Child", spun it more than once and I'd highly recommend it to everyone!). No, it's obviously me and Rocket Bar, we've have an icey relationship at best (even if tonight was one of the "better" ones) I mean c'mon.. it feeds on children's tears, it stuffs puppies into blenders, IT'S VERILY THE BEAST INCARNATE!! and the sooner we get out of this corrupting piss stain and I scream myself sane in a shower cubicle? THE BETTER!! And so after I retrieved Simone, or at least what I THINK was her: walking into a wall over and over making "whimpering" noises (she rather liked the first band though.. go figure?) we briefly entertained the notion of smashing out the windows facing Crazy Horse, flying two stories down to break our fall on a passing taxi the fuck out of there; only to reconsider at the last minute (she didn't want to ruin her shoes) and take the stairwell instead.



1:01AM - Now usually I'd simply hit The Ed Castle next.. ie: in my quest to drink all memory of Rocket Bar out of my system (if I hadn't already achieved that) not necessarily because of any "winning preference" in mind, more just a lazy proximity. Except as it turns out they had another installment of Transmission Live on tonight (featuring who!? yeaaah who the fuck cares!) and they were charging door entry. Which granted wasn't an issue for ME, as I'd long bluffed my way onto their "semi-permanent" doorlist for reasons that STILL utterly escape me; but more for Simone who looked ever so subtly like she wanted to strangle "someone", possibly me, for dragging her to Rocket Bar tonight (well hey.. at least I got her free lollies! aye? aaaaye!?). So instead we figured we might hit The Exeter, only to realise we'd have to walk there, or worse still lift an arm to hail a taxi. So laziness being the mother of invention here.. I pulled my very best (read: hilariously drunken) impersonation of a "Jedi Mind Trick" and bluffed both of us in for free.. FUCK YEAAAH!!



1:55AM - And WOWEEEE wasn't I ever so glad we did that too! what with all the colour, the excitement, the mad disorienting head exploding spectacle of it!? FUUUCK ME, IT WAS INTENSE!! (seriously my teeth STILL feel a teeny bit loose and tingly just thinking about it!). Which is why I obviously had to post THIS photo of East End Villains' setlist tonight whistling in the breeze out by the beergarden just so you wouldn't be completely overcome by it.. huh? HUH!? I KNOW, RIGHT!!



2:13AM - Clearly that was too much for us to handle.. so we made haste for Supermild; or at least until Simone found this intercom box. Now at first I couldn't quite understand WHY she found it so fascinating; especially not worthy of documenting on this blog (yeaaah not like I've posted anything weirder here before). Until she told me of all the teeny tiny voices trapped inside of it. And since they were in obvious distress over such a horrible predicament (apparently they took a wrong turn at the last drive through speaker box they were trapped in), Simone figured she'd set them all at ease with one of her soothing "lullabies". Aaaah yes, just one of THOSE nights huh?



3:04AM - And once we got here.. I couldn't for the life of me remember what happened, no really I've tried hypnotherapy and everything! And I'm not even too sure what happened to Simone either? although I was told by several eyewitnesses later on that she was seen hanging toes and fingernails from the ceiling screaming abuse at random passerbys (aaaah if only they posted that on youtube) and I'm totally taking their word for it! And as for me? yeaaah the only thing that comes to mind (as I twittered it, so it must be true) was this ONE hiiilarious incident where I was stopped by a random passerby in the men's urinal who asked me: "so you're Spoz right!?". Only for me to respond: "of course not! I'm that OTHER idiot you see pissing himself laughing taking photos of beer bottles for no good reason HA HA HA! WOOOO!!". And I can't remember if he gave me a weird look and promptly left the room or not? (as I was urinating at the time) but I'm pretty sure I DID claim one of these beer bottles for myself. I like to think that's a "win/win" situation.



5:18AM - All in all it's been a great night, an awesome night even, duuude I'm so ever thankful I left the house to live this to fullest.. FUCK YEAAAS!! As much as there's little or no evidence to support that, because clearly this blog never happened and you never read it (save for all those ridiculously awesome bands I caught at wherever-the-fuck!?). But lemme tell you maaan it's been the best! and nothing's more fulfilling at the end of it, than digging into a pile of what I believe are "pancakes" (by the loosest description of the term I'm sure) as ordered off the breakfast menu at Micky D's on West Terrace. Aaaah yes I swear.. life truly doesn't get much BETTER THAN THIS!!



Yeaaah isn't that right Simone? huh? HUH!? (awww crap.. I think I broke her!).



Yup every week I swear this shit drives me completely fucking insane, it makes me a dribbling basket case, it beats my brain black and blue laughing its arse off, it totally fucks me up in every sense of the word and then some! (as much as I'm frequently at a loss for words in describing it!). But since I do it "willingly" every week without fail? duuude I freaking love it like a mental illness! Even in winter when I openly resent and despise it with a screaming burning rage that will not quit? IT NEVER GETS OLD!! It's my routine, it's what I feed upon for inspiration, it's what I live for in all its idiotic eccentricities and I'd be totally lost without it! Which is why wherever possible? I like to inflict this shit upon as many of you mad fools as possible.. YEAAAS!! For if ever I do drive myself screaming over that edge for good? I'm totally taking every one of you WITH ME for the ride!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: 20th Century Graduates + East End Villains + Sincerely, Grizzly

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
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