:: Thursday, July 15, 2010

STEERING BY STARS + FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! + RIDE INTO THE SUN
"CABLES" ALBUM LAUNCH PARTY @ JIVE + THE ED CASTLE / Saturday July 10th 2010

For the longest time I've wanted to say something positive about all the shit I've seen this year, but in saying it, in publishing it here, I feared that it might cause a backlash. So I've been hiding it behind all manner of raging sarcasm, I've tried my utmost to be an utter "bastard" to every band in every live review I've written this year so none of you would be "any the wiser" to it (especially to just how much I've been bugging out to all your shit). But after the six months living it up here in 2010!? yeaaah to hell with it duuude, you know it! I know it! so I'm just gonna out and say it: the Adelaide scene's been fucking awesome to be a part of this year, it truly has! I FUCKING LOVE IT HERE!! It's never been better, it's never been less than ridiculously a-grade, in fact I dare say it's even thriving now, YES.. THRIVING!! And fuck damn it's a relief for me to say it too! I mean I don't know if you've noticed but ever since its inception this blog's been nothing less than a last ditched act of desperation. Maaan.. I felt like I'd been cataloging and collecting an endangered species on the verge of extinction, and it's not hard to see why! For the past fifteen years (or ever since I was old enough to experience it) we've been totally fucked over here by everything from the pokies, inner city residential developments and noise complaints shutting down venues, the rise and rise of disposable pop, dance music, Aussie hiphop, indie disco, bands moving to Melbourne only to disappear without a trace, the unbearable shitness of being that is "Electric Circus v2.0", Tony Font Show and Lumonics breaking up (I know! I know! I STILL can't get over that crap) and don't get me started with all the carnage that THIS blog's caused in "covering" it over the years.. YEEESH!! And yet in spite of ALL this, the Adelaide scene's survived, nay thrived! even as much as it's been all but ignored by the eastern states; it's been an absolute riot! I mean suuure no one's making any money (or likely ever will) and it's made fuck all difference to metal, punk, emo and hardcore (as let's face it they've been thriving like cockroaches no matter how post apocalyptic it's gotten). But when you consider all these shit awesome albums being released of late, all these new venues popping up, all the radio airplay and the crowds we're now getting.. duuude what's not to love!?



Yup, if you've been reading this blog for the past six months (or even just ego surfing it in search of photos to pilfer for your facebook.. you fiends!) you'll know I'm not just talking out of my arse here, duuude I have evidence! Consider for one all the wildly successful launch parties we've been having this year, many of them packing out to capacity: from Bronze Chariot, Jay Walker & The Pedestrians, Sincerely Grizzly, Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire! (twice) to The Shiny Brights, The Keepsakes, Brillig, Booster, Lyla, The Finishing School, The Battery Kids and Friends; with five of those being for albums no less! (not to mention all the other shitcrazy launch parties I missed along the way from The Adult Bookstore, The British Robots, The Sweet Decline to that split release album from Coerce and Robotosaurus). Or all the wildly anticipated albums yet to come from Like Leaves, The Honey Pies, Ride Into The Sun and Cheer Advisory Council (to name but a few). Or all the insane single and EP launch parties to come in just the next few weeks (of winter!?). Or all the new live venues popping up from Format Space to The Sandbar and Squatters Arms; and in two weeks time the launching of yet another one with "The Light" on Light Square. Duuude it's going nuts around here, no wonder I'm killing myself retarded trying to write about it each week! I mean seriously it's gotten so ridiculously shit awesome now, here I am tonight for yet another album launch party at Jive (I know.. it's almost like I'm sick to death of them now!? AAAAHAHAhAHaHAhAHA!! *ahem*) only it's NOT for an uber fashion Triple J high rotation "buzz band", it's NOT for a fleeting scenster shitweasel party band, it's for an awkwardly shy "post rock" act ferfucksake! (aka: Steering By Stars launching their debut album "Cables"!?) AND YET THEY'RE STILL PACKING IT OUT TO THE CEILING TONIGHT!? (so much so in fact that Jive's actually opened up the upstairs balcony to accommodate them all!?) DUUUDE!! I mean suuure we can STILL pretend this scene's an ongoing in-joke all we want but we know we ain't fooling anyone riiight? FUCK NO!! be proud Adelaide! we're not just a touring speed bump, a retirement village, serial killer capital or chardonnay sipping bourgeoisie backwater no more.. oh no! we're a scene where awesome shit happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!



FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! (****1/2) myspace ::
And speaking of such heeere comes our opening act! And no I'm not being ironic in saying that, I'm not taking the absolute piss here, there's no punchline pending (I swear!). Nope, as much as I HAVE mercilessly "shovelled shit" on them over the past four years (aaaah and they've been such good sports for it too, isn't that right Art Zinoviev!? "FUCK YEAAAH SMASH THAT TAMBOURINE YA GOOFYARSE FREAK, WOOOO!!") I still can't help but beam with pride like a "proud parent" or more accurately like an annoying "older brother" over all they've accomplished as not just the endless butt of my jokes but as accomplished artists in their own right. I mean seriously when I stop to think that the same trigger happy indie disco "Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire!" that I used to piss myself laughing to at Rocket Bar back in 2006 (egads!) went on to produce an album as near fuck off brilliant and critically acclaimed as "Sea Priest" in 2010? an album that I still can't stop spinning like a mental illness because it's THAT a-grade eclectic and insane!? duuude it STILL blows my mind! Yup they've proven themselves on record and live on stage time and time again (as much as I've done my utmost to poke fun at them for it). They're everything our pissy little music scene could be proud of (as much as many of us mad cynics might never admit it in public). And tonight? after countless interstate tours over the past few months supporting next to everyone (including themselves on their album tour) wooping it up like crazy? duuude they're at the top of their game! I mean for one their live mix tonight is just about spot on; which as a six piece band, especially with the "recent addition" of Nathaniel Morse on guitar comes through no small feat. It's like their sound now is almost TOO apocalyptic for most of the "small sized" venues they used to frequent; sometimes so overbearingly so in the gunning instrumentation that they all but obliterate Caitlin Duff and Dave William's vocals in the howling cacophony (lest we mention what happened to their Rocket Bar show back in May!? YEEEOUCH!!). But here at Jive tonight, thanks in no small part to the ever infamous Matt Hills on the mixing desk and a sound system powerful enough to back them: everything is subtly brought into focus like a sweet symphony. Sure there's still a few teeny tiny moments where the vocals get buried, especially in the heavier songs like "Ghostress" and "War Coward" (although some of this may just be due to both vocalists needing to learn how to project themselves a little better to compensate) but for the most part we more appreciated all the little details that get brought to the surface. From Nathaniel's technicolour flourishes on guitar interweaving between Dave's bobbleheaded crunch in "War Coward". To Art's goofy Space Invader keys in "Witch House", to the haunting harmonies between Caitlin and Dave's vocals at the end of "Test Crowd", but what really kills throughout is the shit hot attack of their rhythm section. Taking more than a few subtle cues from bands like Interpol, The Rapture and New Order: it's one of the few remaining elements that they've retained from their "old sound", and trust me they're all the better for it. As Sam Stearne on drums, Josh Flavel on bass and Dave on guitar lock step with military precision, like a cuckoo clock put through a wood chipper, switching up through countless time changes in an instant; and it drops all our jaws to the floor, eyeballs rolling, bugging the fuck out to it. It's one of their greatest strengths, and when they truly nail it like tonight? it just can't be beat! Most of the songs from the album make a welcome appearance (my personal fave being "Test Crowd" for all its punctuated twists and turns that very much reminds me of Interpol's "PDA" only if it was sung by Sarah Blasko) but they also cook up a brand new song called "Maze Behind Your Eyes" which shows real promise in its soothingly cinematic feel. They're constantly cracking jokes between songs, Dave in particular trying to work in quotes from Twin Peaks (more hilarious for the fact that they kept falling on deaf ears), they're loving every damn minute of it on stage, and in the end everyone's left beaming ear to ear in the crowd? Yup that's Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire! owning all our shit tonight, it's regrettably over all too soon.. AND DAMNIT WE WANTED MORE!!



















STEERING BY STARS (*****) myspace ::
But of course there's a damn good reason why our support act were frantically rushing through their setlist tonight (DAMN YOU!! couldn't you have snuck in one encore? just a teeny tiny one!? huh? HUH!?) and not just so that everyone could clear off stage well before DJ "Count Dracula" Craig arrived in a black cloud of smoke for yet another "wacky installment" of Gosh (duuude no shit? you really want me to show you the grisly crime scene footage if ever bands run a minute too late!? IT SURE AIN'T PRETTY!!) but more so to make way for our headlining act for their shining moment of victory, a "shining moment of victory" that believe me has been A LONG TIME COMING!! For as it turns out this auspicious debut album "Cables" that they're launching tonight, wasn't just produced on a whim in the past few weeks, or even in the past few months, OOOOH FUCK NO!! They've been sitting on this ripe "masterpiece in the making" for well over a year now. A FUCKING YEAR PEOPLE!! In fact rumour has it they even started recording it waaay back in March 2009, only a few months after they formed (or possibly even before that) "WHOAAA SHIT!!", I fucking know! And as for why it's taken them so damn long to unleash it? yeaaah good fucking question. Obviously I'm not privy to all the details myself. I've only had the album myself for the past four months. And yes it's been driving me crazy that I haven't been able to tell you about it publically because lemme tell you it's freaking awesome! It grows on you like a symbiotic fungus to the point that you can't live without it (my personal fave being "I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon".. kills me everytime!) and if you dig all that post rock Sigur Rós, Deerhunter, M83, Explosions In The Sky "contemplative wank"!? you'll totally blow a frontal lobe (or five) to it. Either way after much covert behind the scenes wheeling and dealing on manufacturing, distribution rights, promotion, all the usual blah-di-blah record label whatever-the-fuck (and scoring a band manager who can actually take care of all that) they finally settled on releasing it all themselves on 12" vinyl a few months back and yup here we are tonight! *PHEW*. And as much as all this shit sounds needlessly infuriating, it's actually done wonders for the band. Possibly not for their sanity, as this video footage of their drummer Tom Smeets will readily attest to (especially that "hilarious" screaming bit at the end) but Steering By Stars are very much the "fine wine" of the Adelaide scene. It takes a few listens, it takes a few shows, it takes a few weird support slots (duuude tell me about it!) before they can gain the sort of erudite and articulate fanbase that can truly appreciate a band that has a xylophone (or three), six million effects pedals, two vocalists and no actual discernable lyrics. But all this patience has truly paid off handsomely for them tonight. Jive is packed close to capacity with an attentive audience awestruck into silence. They're absorbing every nuance here, every subtle segue, sweeping gesture and epic crescendo like it's nothing short of a religious experience. And the band in turn? yup they're truly turning in a performance of a lifetime! Walking onto stage to a hero's welcome, or more accurately to the weepy refrains of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is" (totally not their idea, Matt Hayward just happened to be DJing it moments prior to their arrival.. you fiend!) they launch into their first two songs "Magnets" and "Dissonance", songs that might be slightly overwhelmed by a teeny tiny "technical glitch" on Lachlan Wilson's microphone crackling anytime he attempts to sing into it; but by the third or fourth song (after Matt Hills has sent his stagehand/gopher to wrestle the offending lead) all is promptly forgiven and we're swept blissfully into the celestial worlds that they weave again. From the anthemic sounds of "Closer" (see accompanying music video for full effect), to the subtle xylophone and piano interplay between guitarist Rory O'Connor and Lachlan on "Blush Response", to the new songs in the final third driven by Adrian Reveruzzi's grimacing bass attack: the most striking of which being their finale "Mouse/Rat" as Lachlan lurches up from his seated position, thrashing like a man possessed to really drive the emotion home; we're all as one swept up in the moment. Admittedly they're not much for between song banter. Rory even apologises at one point for not possessing the same sharp wit as Dave from Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire! but when their music's THIS potent? it can do all the talking, and in the end we're left speechless by what it has to say. Yup that's Steering By Stars. Arguably they're a bit of an acquired taste, but once you've acquired anything like what WE had tonight? duuude, you'd never want to give it up!


















12:15AM - With their show ending to much rapturous applause, and perhaps a few anonymous souls up front pretending they had a little something caught in their eye so as not to admit how overwhelmed it REALLY made them feel *sniff* "no seriously it was JUST an eyelash I swear!" *WAAAUGGHHH!!* I dare say I didn't want to leave this place. I didn't care if DJ Craig was blasting The Arctic Monkeys, The Mystery Jets, Kaiser Chiefs or whatever-the-fuck at full volume (although thankfully not nearly as fuck off extreme as a few weeks back after Cloud Control when I felt like I was being skull raped by a loud speaker) or if there were hoards of knuckle dragging jocks lining up outside itching to cut loose on the dancefloor, I just wanted to savour this moment. I mean it's not every day here that an Adelaide band gets to launch an album is it? well.. yeaaah actually it is, every dickhead and their dog seems to be releasing one of late, but I digress; it doesn't make this moment any LESS special! And so I had a beer, or two, or twelve (or maybe just the three) in riotous celebration and then I had to go. For as much as I'd witnessed more than enough wealth and wonder for any one night, I knew there was yet more to come. Why? because the Adelaide scene is a cruel and carnivorous mistress that never lets me have a moment's rest THAT'S WHY!!



12:19AM - Which yup quite like every other Saturday night that starts with the best intentions at Jive, invariably leads me here to seek out all the very worst intentions at The Ed Castle.. WOOOO!!



12:22AM - Of course there's much more to it than that. As I'm actually here (and in a mad hurry at that) in the hopes of catching their headlining act Booster. "Booster? BOOSTER!? aaaah fuck not THESE idiots again!?". Yes I know and I understand your grievance. They're hardly the most cutting edge cats around, especially not the sort of uber fashion "scenster" ensemble who score that all important kudos from Pitchfork, NME, Mess + Noise or all those whatever-the-fuck mp3 blogs like "Gorilla vs Bear" that all you hipster tragics out there love to "soil a sock over" (yeaaah not that there's anything wrong with that.. turns out most of my picks usually fit that criteria too!). It's just that they've survived and thrived six long years in the Adelaide scene like an hilarious "fuck you" to all the above. I've known their drummer Sean Kemp for fifteen odd years now, the dude's a freaking animal and he got me into this whole "live scene" mess in the first place back in 1995. His band totally doesn't suck either if you're into that whole Eagles Of Death Metal schtick (or if you love Jimi Hendrix, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin.. and hell who doesn't!?) and to be honest I was actually shocked he even GOT a gig at The Ed Castle in the first place. I mean let's face it they're "really fucking old" (their guitarist Craig Lewis is a grandfather I swear!) and I was curious as all hell to see how they'd pull it off in the one venue where half the people who go there don't even KNOW where the band room is. Only by the time I got there, I discovered they'd since swapped headlining duties with Ride Into The Sun and I only caught the last minute of their last song. Hmmm. Still check out all the windmill drumming.. I mean how fucking crazy is that!?



RIDE INTO THE SUN (****) myspace ::
Which brings us to our actual headlining act: who despite any impressions I might have given in my mad rush to see Booster here tonight? are in no way "sloppy seconds" to me, pfft.. far from it duuude, they're nothing short of ridiculously awesome! For in an exceptionally short space of time, six months since forming, or a little under four months since their "triumphant debut" at Arcade Lane (in as much as it was a complete and utter disaster, second only to that Honey Pies show a week ago, and we should never speak of it again.. yeeeouch!) Ride Into The Sun have quickly established themselves as a "must see band" in the Adelaide scene (at least by my reckoning) for the simple fact that there's very few other bands here right now (short of say Like Leaves) that even approach what they've got cooking (in a way that either makes them waaay ahead of the curve, or waaay behind it.. either way duuude what's not to love!?). Yup think of them as a blacker than black blues rock ensemble all mixed up with 60's psychedelia, spaghetti western overtures and film noir cinematics. Think of them as Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Josh Homme's "The Desert Sessions", The Doors, The Velvet Underground, Mazzy Star, The Black Angels and The Brian Jonestown Massacre all rolled into one. Or simply think of all the above delivered like a mad hit of peyote swirling thick through your synapses and you'll be close to appreciating just what they're getting at here (especially if you're actually ON peyote or a similar psychoactive and currently playing keyboards in this band.. duuude!). Better yet they've totally got all the signature songs to back it up. I mean it's anyone's guess HOW they've come up with them so soon? (as they've only been around for six months) but they've totally got an album's worth of them, they've just finished recording one in fact and if anything I've been hearing of late is any indication? then they've easily got a cult classic on their hands. And best of all they've totally got the stage presence in delivering it all live too. And tonight? ooooh trust me maaan they're on a mission and a half to murder us all! Yup they may only be playing to a handful of people in the band room (maybe ten to fifteen at most?) but they're giving us all they've got. Partly due to the fact they're loosing guitarist Luke Mayes this week for a fashion magazine "photography internship" in Paris (I shit you not!) and they might be wondering just how the hell they're gonna survive without him. But also because they generally play every show now like it's their last one anyways. From the increasingly antagonistic Anthony Candlish in lead vocal: hooting, shrieking and snarling every lyrical refrain like he's about to be cut down by a hail of bullets (and he's accusing us all in advance of pulling the trigger). To Jessica Honeychurch on keys: swaying too and fro like a coiled cobra crossed with Cleopatra and an anamorphic oil slick (and when she sings the lyrics to their cover of Mazzy Star's "Wasted"? duuude it's like she's drowning!). To Luke on guitar: utterly nonchalant in how he goes about his business, no matter how brilliantly he's shredding those riffs in a howl feedback, that you begin to wonder if he's simply phoning it in from afar (perhaps from you know where?). To James "Balf" Thomas on drums, stabbing every beat like a butcher cutting up a carcass with an axe.. and you KNOW it's not an act. To Adam Vanderwerf on bass, the one proverbial "white hat" among them, innocently holding the rhythm section in check as much as you know he's complicit in all of this. Yup as much as they may only be playing to a handful of us here, it's so damn potent to experience first hand, every one of us is swaying about in a giddy trance like it's Woodstock and we're all on a mad batch of acid. In every song the band only gets more turbulent in delivering it, more fuck off paranoid, more downright gritty and gutteral. The highlight of which being a new song "Redneck" where next to every lyric consists of Anthony spitting out "ya ya yeah yeah yeah!" in a loop like a hillbilly caricature gone horribly wrong; and he's all the better for it. And by the last song "Chosen One" Balf gets so wound up in the raw emotion of it all: he totally snaps, throws his sticks violently to the ground and storms off stage.. and when asked about it later, he simply responds with a sheepish grin: "ooooh I dunno, guess I got caught in the moment!". Yup that's Ride Into The Sun. There's just no half measures with them, just as you suspect the more desperate and deranged they get with their shit (as much as they may only be imagining it) it'll only make them stronger!














But of course no live review of Ride Into The Sun tonight would ever be complete without a passing reference to THIS guy. And I don't mean the dribbling arseclown in the Steering By Stars t-shirt: because as we all know that's just me after a few too many (and let's face it I really need to stop appearing in front of my camera if ever I know what's good for me). No I actually mean the exciteable "four eyes" in the pinstripe shirt who's holding on for dear life to the right of me. Yes I know.. well actually I DON'T know, I've never met this guy before in my entire life, let alone know the reason why he's latched onto me all of a sudden!? (maybe this means we're married in some cultures? or maybe he's trying to consummate it!? eeeee!). But you can't deny just how much he freaking loves this band MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!! duuude he was a freaking inspiration to us all!



Granted he wasn't the only one hard at it, there were at least a few "space cadets" lost in a world of their own around me.. but he was definitely the most enthusiastic. And not just for the music, but more so for Jess on keys and just how ridiculously "shit hot" her shoes were. Weird I know! In fact every few minutes he'd stop thrashing about on the dancefloor, pause to admire them, take photos of them, then return to the dancefloor again. And as much as we couldn't quite understand just WHAT he was "thinking" here (and whether or not Jess might need to use the fire extinguisher on him if ever he followed through with it) we all agreed we were all the drunker for witnessing it.



1:34AM - Speaking of such, after the show, and after Anthony stormed off stage yelling to the crowd "fuck dance bands, come to The Cranka for Hot! Damn!" (aka: his attempts to pack a dancefloor for Ride Into The Sun's DJ night.. and no I swear I'm not being ironic in saying that) I felt the sudden urge to get more hideously drunk at the bar; and maybe lose my "wife" along the way (awww c'mon that dude was hilarious!). And it was here that I was then ambushed by Olivia. "GUH DAMNIT!! NOT YOU AGAIN!?". Yup usually she wouldn't make an appearance in this blog for the simple fact that USUALLY she's one of the 99 percentile in the Adelaide scene who runs away screaming whenever they see me with a camera (or simply give me daggers till I curl up and die at the thought of it.. gee I wonder why!?). Only now quite possibly because I accidently shouted her that drink once (damn, I knew that'd come back to haunt me!) it's like I totally can't get rid of her. YAY!? And as for why she's preening about in these photos with "(Totally Not) Jaret Leto" here!? yeaaah it's anyone's guess. Just as I'm struggling to justify why I'm publishing them all either, except aaaah fuck it.. she's kinda cute? *cough* no wait, forget I even said that. DAAAMN YOU!!




1:54AM - Backing away slowly from that "nightmare scenario", doing my best not to make eye contact and feigning that my camera battery had suddenly gone flat for good measure "BEEP BEEP!! camera no takey takey! WAAAUUGGHHH!!" I fell arse backwards into the band room again only to discover one of three things in rapid succession. Firstly that I'd somehow returned empty handed without a beer (damnit Olivia.. that was your plan all along wasn't it!?). Secondly that there was a near full jug of beer on stage that'd been left blissfully unattended. And thirdly one exciteable Sean Kemp here: drummer for Booster, who then accidently tipped said jug of beer all over the stage in front of him, and yes.. that is him "celebrating" it in following. Awesome huh!?



And it was here, moments later, when someone suggested Sean should lick up the remaining beer that I decided that yeaaah maybe I should be elsewhere all a sudden, and that maybe I should take all the back alleys and jump a few fences so that nobody could ever hope to follow me there.



2:12AM - Aaaah yes The Grace Emily, "The Gremily", "The Gremlin", "The Gargulant Simile" my sweet sanctuary away from all the insanity of the Adelaide scene (with the possible exception of just last week when Paddy Montgomery from The British Robots licked all those walls fixtures, and then I had to go to the opposite end of town to escape it *ahem*). The one place where I can totally unwind with a beer in hand safe in the knowledge that Sean Kemp would never think to find me here, despite the fact he's almost ALWAYS here, in fact he practically lives here, and this is the stupidest place I could ever think to go to; if only it weren't the awesomest damn place I could think to go to too.. I mean c'mon they totally have a shrine to Bert Newton here and everything!



2:15AM - It's here that I then stumble upon these two whimsical nutbags: Paul "Nazz" Nassari and Anya McNicol "Head Explosion" Windram. Who in all irony were actually doing their utmost to lose ME at The Ed Castle, obviously completely unrelated to that moment when I offering the both of them one of my wackyarse tabeersco concoctions during Ride Into The Sun; because clearly that shit doesn't weird anyone out in the slightest (and don't they look ever so happy to see me again? YEAAAS!!). And it's also where I stumbled upon one Mike Noga, drummer for The Drones. Yup you may remember him from that infamous blog I wrote a year ago: when I caught a show of theirs at The Governor Hindmarsh, they totally schitzed out over me taking all those photos (shit.. didn't your publicist warn you about me!?) and I could've sworn ever since that night that their drummer wanted to kill me (possibly because he "threw" his drumsticks right at my face). But after talking to him tonight? duuude it couldn't be further from the truth! Turns out he totally didn't want to kill me at all, he's probably one of the most chilled out cats you'll ever damn near meet and I don't know why I was so paranoid in the first place (even if I was hiding behind a barstool at the time). Hmmm now if only I can dispell all those "insane" rumours that Gareth Liddiard ALSO wanted to kill me and maybe I can finally check my letter box again without involving a bomb disposal unit.



3:03AM - Still as blissfully peaceful as it was here at "The Goose Fatality" and I totally wasn't frantically tapping the silent alarm on my phone to call in any STAR Force divisions just in case, it abruptly came to an end the minute Sean Kemp made a repeat appearance.. "GUH DAMNIT!!" (for reasons that I totally forgot, save for the altogether flimsy narrative of this blog). At which point I promptly finished my beer, shouted "what's that over there!?" threw a smoke bomb at the ground and in the ensuing chaos and confusion made my daring escape back to The Ed Castle. *PHEW*.



3:14AM - It was here that I was then ambushed by Laura.. "OH FERFUCKSAKE!! it's like I can't get away from this shit tonight!?" whom you may recognise as one of The Ed Castle's infamous "doorbitches" on a Saturday night along with the oddly omnipresent Olivia and "totally not a bitch" Anika (but fuck damn she's pretty!). Except you likely can't recognise her at all in any of THESE photos: as for reasons completely beyond me she's decided to challenge me to a highstakes game of "photography Spoz-off". The goal being of course to nail a facial expression even MORE fuckarse retarded and eye gougingly insane than anything I might hope to pull in countering it (or in other words? HA HA HA GOOD LUCK WITH THAT YA FUCKING IDIOTS!!). Except as it turns out Laura possessed a damn near supernatural affinity for it. No really, I'm actually quite impressed!



But of course, as we all know, there are no REAL winners here in "photography Spoz-off": unless you count the thousand odd "lucky recipients" who are reading this on a blog right now.. SCORE!!



Which possibly explains why I might have been obliged to take THIS relatively "normal photo" in following to reassure everyone that no.. we didn't find this "Laura" under the Morphett Street bridge and coax her into The Ed Castle with promises of fish heads and goon (duuude it's even better when you combine the two!) but she's actually a relatively upstanding individual and not at all a "clear and present danger to society". Also I'd like to point out that Dan on the right isn't at all bothered that I might've taken this photo while my trousers were around my ankles laughing my arse off. Hmmm remind me again.. why do they ever let me into The Ed Castle in the first place!?



3:20AM - Clearly by this point of the night I'm well and truly "circling the drain". So much so I actually thought it'd be a brilliant idea to get a photo with Josh Moore from The Touch: the one hilarious arseclown in the Adelaide scene who clearly doesn't need any more publicity from me. Especially considering how many times I've used him and his band as a running punchline on this blog (aaaah and I swear it's been the greatest gift to "comedy gold" since Lee Cowan from Tony Font Show too!). Still if we look to the brightside? as many times as he might have appeared in person!? (for reasons that are completely beyond me now) at least his band hasn't featured in a single review yet in 2010. See, I told you! this year's already looking to be THE BEST ONE EVER!!



3:34AM - Yup as much as I would've been better off being anywhere but HERE right now listening to whatever-the-fuckarse retarded shit him and his fellow bandmate Craig Lock were spinning on the DJ decks: to be fair it actually wasn't half "bad" (or at least compared to their usual habit of spinning the Baywatch Theme) or maybe I was SO ridiculously drunk at the time that I couldn't care less. Either way I could help but "celebrate" this fact by making a song request. And so after much careful deliberation I settled upon N.W.A's "Fuck Tha Police". And as for whether it got played? yeaaah who the fuck knows, I'd just be insanely happy if I heard anything other than Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk" again.. am I right? am I right? OH YOU FUCKING KNOW I'M RIGHT!!



3:48AM - Which completely unrelated to anything they might've "played" moments later? leads me here to Supermild (as quite conveniently my brain's long since obliterated all "memory" of it).



4:07AM - Now clearly I have absolutely no fucking clue what happened at Supermild, what I saw, what I did, who I did it to, how many people were cheering us on at the time, or any of the other "hilarious hijinx" we might have gotten upto in between before the cops arrived to congratulate us in person because they swear they'd "never seen that before". As quite frankly I don't have the photographic evidence or the pending court cases to back it all up.. AND THANK FUCK FOR THAT!! (I mean really? you think I publish everything that I get upto on this blog!? HA HA HA you poor demented fools!). What I do have however are THESE two photos that rather neatly encapsulate the whole experience; or at least in a way that the nurses will be sure to explain to my grandkids in many years hence when I have another one of my "episodes". The first being this beer that I accidently shattered in the beer garden outside.. because yes I really was THAT fargone retarded.



4:18AM - The second being this subsequent beer that I bought to replace it, only to balance it precariously on my forearm in effort to take this photo; because yup I clearly didn't learn a fucking thing from the first beer I had (or any other time I've been out drinking for the past five years).



Yup, if ever there was a moral to this story (and admittedly it got more than a little "hazy" in the home stretch here) it's that you should never underestimate the Adelaide scene, especially not in 2010. I mean as much as we may forever be a "touring speed bump" and the butt of all jokes from Melbourne to Sydney, Perth to Brisbane, Canberra to Newcastle, Darwin to Hobart (or even Dubbo for that matter) or fuck it pretty much anywhere else in Australia right now (or the rest of the world) that AIN'T crawling upto its proverbial "arsecrack" in bogans, bourgeoisie, serial killers, senior citizens, serial killers who are also senior citizens (I mean c'mon we STILL haven't solved that "Beaumont" thing back in the 60's!? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT!!) or can unwittingly claim responsibility for unleashing Jimmy Barnes and Guy Sebastian on the world; we've still got a good thing going and duuude? it's only getting better! We've got the scene, we've got the bands, we got the mad buzz to back it, we've seen more than enough evidence for it here on this blog every week (as much as I have NO idea in picking it). And as long as we don't completely fuck it up from here on in (anti-binge drinking club curfews anyone?) duuude who knows WHAT we could accomplish!? I mean think about it, here we are hurtling towards the dead of winter and do we see ANY SIGNS of it letting up yet!? I know.. it totally gives me nightmares just thinking about it too!

Previously on Spoz's Rant: No Through Road + Batrider + Diplomat

:: Spoz 2:48 PM |
...