:: SPOZ's RANT ::

The Adelaide music scene: to many of you it might be little more than a touring speed bump between Melbourne and Perth but to us it's a way of life. Feast within, on all its dysfunctioning splendour, as we bring you the highly satirical, laughingly fictional and intellectually imbecile tales from our rock & roll wasteland...
:: home | contact | youtube | bandcamp | instagram | google+ | twitter | facebook |

[::..latest blogs..::]
:: GRACE: THE SONGS
OF JEFF BUCKLEY,
and SONS OF ZOKU
(Fringe Festival)
:: ROGUE ROMANTIC
(Fringe Festival)
:: BAD LUCK CABARET
(Fringe Festival)
:: MIO, FACEMEAT -
A ROCK OPERA, and
LITTLE CAPTAIN
(Fringe Festival)
:: GINDIANA BONES AND
THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS
OF THE UNDERGROUND
TRAIN STATION,
and ATTONBITUS
(Fringe Festival)
:: HALL OF FAME ::
:: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES** :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ARTAX MISSION :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND* :: BOOSTER :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CIRCLE CLAN :: COERCE :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CONCHILLIA :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: DOUBLE HANDED* :: THE DUNES :: EGYPT :: ENCARTA / COLONEL KERNEL** :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA FIRE!*** :: FRIENDS :: GLASS SKIES :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT* :: THE HONEY PIES** :: HORROR MY FRIEND* :: ISLE OF VISION :: JUNGLE CITY :: KAMIKAZE :: THE KEEPSAKES* :: THE KILLGIRLS*** :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: LADY STRANGELOVE** :: LEADER CHEETAH* :: LIKE LEAVES** :: LUMONICS* :: LYLA :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS*** :: MERE THEORY :: MORALS OF A MINOR* :: THE MOTIVE :: MR WEDNESDAY** :: NO THROUGH ROAD*** :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: REALIST FEW :: RIDE INTO THE SUN** :: THE SEA THIEVES* :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS* :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY*** :: SKELETONS :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE* :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SPARKSPITTER* :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: STEERING BY STARS* :: SWIMMING :: TEA :: THE TIMBERS :: TONY FONT SHOW** :: TRACER :: THE TRANSATLANTICS** :: TWO SUNS :: TYGER TYGER* :: THE VILLENETTES* :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WOLF & CUB** :: ZETA ::
[::..rant awards..::]
:: 2008 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2009 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2010 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
::
2011 - 1 | 2 | 3 ::
:: RECOMMENDED ::
[::..global..::]
:: NME
:: SPIN
[::..local..::]
[::..blogosphere..::]
[::..miscellaneous..::]
:: XKCD
:: SITE FEATURES ::
[::..video blogs..::]
[::..festival blogs..::]
:: Fringe Festival 2012
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2013
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 | 13 | 14
:: Fringe Festival 2015
- 1 | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5
| 6 | 7 | 8
:: Fringe Festival 2017
- 1 |
2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
[::..b&w episodes..::]
:: A Winter Wonderland
- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
:: In Limbo - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
:: B&W July 2012 - 1 | 2 |
3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
[::..special features..::]
:: ARTIST INDEX ::
:: !!! :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES :: 20TH CENTURY GRADUATES (DUET) :: 200 MOTELS :: 4 KINGS LOUD :: 4 VOICE :: 67 SPECIAL :: 78 SAAB :: A.B. ORIGINAL :: A BASKET OF MAMMOTHS :: A.D.K.O.B. :: A RED DAWN :: AAARRR! ALL ABOARD FOR PIRATEY VARIETY :: AARON THOMAS :: ABBEY HOWLETT :: ABBEY HOWLETT & THE GOLDEN REALM :: ABLACKWELL :: ACID MOUNTAIN :: ACROSS THE ATLAS :: ADALITA :: ADAM PAGE :: ADELAIDE'S PIPE GUY :: ADNAAN BARAKY :: ADRIAN BELEW :: ADRIAN DEUTSCH :: AFFAIRS OF MEN :: AFI :: AFTER THE FALL :: AIRBOURNE :: ALANA JAGT :: ALARM BIRDS & THE SEA THIEVES :: ALIAS & THE JAMS :: ALITHIA :: ALL FLIGHT CREW ARE DEAD :: ALL MADE OF RUBIES :: ALL NIGHT GIRLS :: ALMA KALORAMA :: ALPEN :: ALPHA BETA FOX :: ALPHABETTE :: ALPINE :: ALUKA :: AMBUSH MARKETING :: THE AMCATS :: AMUNDSENS FLAG :: ANDREW HIGGS & THE SAND CASTLE HARUM :: ANDREW P. STREET :: ANDY BULL :: ANDY ROBERTS :: ANGEL & THE BADMAN :: ANGEL EYES :: ANGEL OLSEN :: ANGELIK :: ANGELS OF GUNG-HO :: ANGIE HART :: ANIMAL SHADOWS :: ANIMAL TRAPS :: ANNIE BASS :: ANNIE SIEGMANN :: ANNY DUFF :: ANTHONY ANT :: ANTHONY WIGNALL :: ANTONY OF THE FUTURE :: ANYA ANASTASIA :: ANYA ANASTASIA & THE BIRD WIZDOM CABARET :: ANYA MCNICOL-WINDRAM :: THE APE :: APHELION :: APPOMATTOX RUN :: ARAKEYE :: THE ARCADE FIRE :: ARCHERS :: ARCHIE :: ARCHITECTURE IN HELSINKI :: ARGUS & THE LIAR :: ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI :: ARLO COOK :: ARMOUR FOU :: ARRAY :: ART OF ESCAPE :: THE ART OF FLYING KITES :: ARTAX MISSION :: AS THE PENNY DROPS :: THE ASTEROID BELT :: THE ATLANTIC STREET BAND :: ATLASIS & AMICA :: ATTONBITUS :: AUBERON DANCE ACADEMY :: AUDIUM :: THE AUDREYS :: AUGUSTE :: AURA FORM :: AURORA :: THE AUTHENTIC REPLICAS :: AUXILLA :: AVANT GARDENERS :: THE AVES :: AVIATOR LANE :: AWKWARD LOVE TRIANGLE :: BABES ARE WOLVES :: BABYLON BURNING :: BAD//DREEMS :: BACHELOR OF ARTS :: BACHELORETTE :: BACK$EAT ROMEOS :: BAD LUCK CABARET :: THE BAKER SUITE :: THE BAKER'S DIGEST :: BAKEWELL STREET :: BALL PARK MUSIC :: BANG! BANG! AIDS! :: BANJO JACKSON :: BANJO WEATHERALD :: BANOFFEE :: BARCODE :: THE BARON :: THE BARONS OF TANG :: BASEBALL :: THE BASKERVILLES :: BASTARD SONS OF RUINATION :: BAT FOR LASHES :: BATPISS :: BATRIDER :: THE BATTERY KIDS :: BATTLEHOUNDS :: BATTLE POPE :: BATTLES :: BEACH HOUSE :: BEANIE MY FRIEND :: BEARDED GYPSY BAND :: THE BEARDS :: THE BEASTIE BOYS :: BED WETTER :: BEDHEAD :: THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER & HIS AWKWARDSTRA :: THE BEERBELLY BUSKERS :: BEFORE THE AFTERMATH :: BELITTLE LEAGUE :: THE BELLE CURVE :: THE BELLRAYS :: BELOVED ELK :: BEN GEL & THE BONEYARD SAINTS :: BEN ELY'S RADIO 5 :: BEN REVI :: BEN REVI ALL-STAR REVIVAL BAND :: BETTY AIRS :: BIG BAD BARRY & THE DEAD SETS :: BIG DADDY'S DISCOTHEQUE :: BIG RICHARD INSECT :: BIG SCARY :: BIG SKY THEORY :: BIG YAWN :: BILLY BISHOP GOES TO WAR :: BILLY BOB'S BBQ JAM BAND :: BING GOES TO MONACO :: BINKY & THE BUNG MICS :: THE BIRD :: BIRD WIZDOM :: BIRTHGLOW :: BIT BY BATS :: BITCH PREFECT :: THE BITTER DARLINGS :: BITTER SWEET KICKS :: BJORK :: BLACK GOLD :: BLACK LIPS :: BLACKCHORDS :: THE BLACK AND WHITE :: BLACK CORAL :: THE BLACK DOVES :: BLACK KNIGHT :: BLAKE SABAN 3 :: BLAST RHOMBUS :: BLEEDING KNEES CLUB :: THESE BLESSED BONES :: THE BLIND HERD :: BLISTERED PALMS :: BLOOD PLASTIC :: BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL :: BLOW UP BETTY :: THE BLUEBERRIES :: BLUEJUICE :: BLUSH RESPONSE :: BOB DOWNE :: BOB LOG III :: BODY HORROR :: BOHOEFFER :: THE BON SCOTTS :: BOOSTER :: THE BORDERLAND :: BOS :: THE BOTTLEROCKETS :: BOX ELDER :: THE BOX ROCKETS :: THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE :: BRENDAWG & THE DROID :: BRIANNA MAHONEY :: BRIARS :: BRILLIG :: BRITISH INDIA :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS :: THE BRITISH ROBOTS (DUO) :: BRONZE CHARIOT :: BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE :: BROKERS :: BROTHERSISTER :: THE BROUHAHA :: BRUNATEX :: BUFFALO BOYFRIEND :: THE BUMBLEBEEZ :: BURAKA SOM SISTEMA :: BURIED FEATHER :: BURLESQUE BEAUTIES :: BURN THE ASHES :: THE BURNING SEA :: BURNING TOWER :: BURNSIDE MUMS :: BUSHIDO :: BUSTER FIDEZ :: BYE BYE MOUNTAIN :: THE BYZANTINES :: CABBAGE & KINGS :: CABIN CULTS :: CAL WILLIAMS JNR :: CALIFORNIA COUSIN :: CALLERDENIGHT :: CALLING ALL CARS :: CAM GOODALL :: CAMEROM MCTERNAN :: CAMP COPE :: CANDIDA :: CANIDAE :: CANIS VULPES :: CAPTAIN CLEANOFF :: CAPTAIN HELLFIRE & THE WRETCHED BRETHREN :: THE CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY :: CAPTIVES :: CAR SEAT HEADREST :: CARLA LIPPIS & THE MARTIAL HEARTS :: THE CASIO BROTHERS :: CASKET CASE :: CASS McCOMBS :: CASSETTE KIDS :: CAT DOG BIRD :: CAT PARTY :: CENTAURZ :: CENTRAL DELI BAND :: CERES :: CESARE :: CHAPMAN STREET :: CHARLIE MONSOON :: CHASING PHOENIX :: CHEER ADVISORY COUNCIL :: CHERRY GRIND :: THE CHEVRON WHORES :: CHÉRIE DE KLERK :: CHILD :: CHILDREN COLLIDE :: CHRIS FINNEN :: CHORAL GRIEF :: CHVRCHES :: CIARAM GRANGER :: CIRCLE CLAN :: CIRCUS ARCADE :: THE CITRADELS :: CITRUS JAM :: CITY CALM DOWN :: CITY RIOTS :: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH :: THE CLIQUE :: CLOUD CONTROL :: CLOUD NOTHINGS :: THE CLOWNS OF DECADENCE :: CLUE TO KALO :: COBRA :: COCK :: COERCE :: COG :: COLLARBONES :: COLLIDE/ESCAPE :: COLLIDER :: COLONEL KERNEL :: COLORBLIND :: COLOURISE :: CONCHILLIA :: CONSOLE WARRIORS :: COOKIE BAKER :: COOKIE BAKER & HER SPECIAL SECRET SPELLS :: COOL JUMPER :: COOL JUMPER & TANTIVY FAIR :: COOPS & THE BIRD :: CORPUS :: CORTEZ :: COSMO BLACK :: COSMO THUNDERCAT :: COSMO THUNDERCAT (DUO) :: COUNTERFEIT TRAITOR :: COY CARP :: CRACKWHORE :: THE CRAYON FIELDS :: CREEPERS :: CRUSTY SUITCASE BAND :: THE CRYING GAME :: CUB SCOUTS :: CURSES :: CUT COPY :: CUT OFF YOUR HANDS :: THE DAIRY BROTHERS :: DAISY BUCHANAN :: DAIYE SPA :: DALLAS FRASCA :: DALLI :: DAMN ARMS :: DAMN TERRAN :: DAMNED MEN :: DAMO SUZUKI NETWORK :: DAN DEVLIN :: DANCE TIL YOU CAN'T SAY YEAH! :: DANGER & PLASTIC :: DANGEROUS! :: DANIEL VARRICCHIO :: DANIELE VILELLA :: DANVERS :: DANVERS & GHOST KNIFE :: DAPPLED CITIES :: THE DARDANELLES :: THE DARK LIGHTS :: DAS UBBERDUNG :: DAVE PHILLIPS :: DAY RAVIES :: DAYDREAM :: THE DAYLIGHT BRAVES :: DAYSWORTH FIGHTING :: THE DEAD BELLS :: DEAD END FRIENDS :: DEAD FRENCHMEN :: DEAD JOE :: DEAD POPES OF THE VATICAN :: DEADLY ARE THE NAKED :: DEAFAULT :: DEAR PLASTIC :: DEEP SEA ARCADE :: THE DEER JOHNS :: DEERHUNTER :: DEJA :: DEJA ENTENDU :: DELIA OBST :: THE DELTA RIGGS :: DELUSIONS OF GRANDMA :: DESCRIBE ELIZA :: DESERT CROOKS :: A DEVIL AMONGST THE TAILORS :: THE DEVILROCK FOUR :: DEXTER JONES :: DIAMOND SINS :: DIANA SCALZI :: DICK DIVER :: DIE! DIE! DIE! :: DIESEL WITCH :: DIIV :: DIPLOMAT :: DIPSTONE :: DIRT PLAYGROUND :: THE DIRTY MONKS :: DIRTY WOLVES :: THE DIVINE FLUXUS :: DIZZEE RASCAL :: DJ KELE OKEREKE :: DJ SHADOW :: DJ SPOZ :: DJANGO ROWE TRIO :: DMA'S :: DOE :: DON MORRISON :: DONNARUMMA :: DOUBLE DENIM :: DOUBLE DRAGON :: DOUBLE HANDED :: DOZERS :: DRAWN FROM BEES :: THE DREAMBOATS :: DRILLER JET ARMSTRONG :: THE DRONES :: DROPLET :: DRUID FLUIDS :: DRUNK MUMS :: DUD PILLS :: DUKES OF WINDSOR :: DUMB EARTH :: DUNE RATS :: THE DUNES :: DUNGEN :: DUSTY LEE :: DUSTY LEE & THE ANGELS OF GUNG HO :: DUSTY LEE'S WASTED WANDERERS :: DZ :: DZ DEATHRAYS :: EAST END VILLAINS :: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN :: ECHO & THE EMPRESS :: EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING :: EGYPT :: THE EL CAMINOS :: ELECTRIC WIDOWS :: THE ELEVENTH HOUR :: THE E.L.F. :: EL-P :: ELECTRIC EXILES :: ELEPHANT :: ELLEN KIBBLE :: ELVIS :: EMDEE :: EMERGENCY RULE :: EMILY DAVIS :: EMPERORS :: EMMA HORWOOD :: EMPIRE VAGABOND :: ENCARTA :: ENDLESS NAMELESS :: ENEMY OF :: ENNIS TOLA :: ENVY STREET :: ES IST SUPER :: EVEN :: EXPATRIATE :: THE EXPLODERS :: EXPLODING PLASTIC INEVITABLE :: EZRA HOPE :: FACEMEAT :: FACEMEAT - A ROCK OPERA :: FAITH NO MORE :: FAIR MAIDEN :: THE FAK :: FAKE LAKE :: FAKE TAN :: FASCINATOR :: THE FAT SACK :: FAT TAILED ANTICHINUS :: FAVOUR THE BRAVE :: FEAR AND LOATHING :: THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS :: FEIST :: FEMME FATALES :: FERGUS O'REGAN :: FEZ FAANANA :: FIGHTERPILOT :: A FILM FOR THE FUTURE :: FILTHY LUCRE :: THE FINISHING SCHOOL :: FINNEN & DAVIDSON :: THE FINNS :: FIRS :: FISHING WITH HENRY :: FIRE! SANTA ROSA, FIRE! :: FIST PUMP, FIST BUMP :: FISTFUL OF TROJANS :: FLEUR GREEN :: FKA TWIGS :: THE FLEEING MINDS :: THE FLOORS :: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE :: FLUME :: THE FOLKO-OH-NOES :: FONT PLAYS FONT :: FORCES :: FOREIGN/NATIONAL :: FOREST OF GNOMES :: FORMER CHILD STARS :: FOX FAEHRMANN :: FOXX ON FIRE :: FRANZ FERDINAND :: FRAUD MILLIONAIRES :: FREESTATE :: FRESH KILLS :: FRIDAY'S FOX :: FRIENDS :: FROM THE DEAD SEA :: FULL CONTACT SAFARI :: THE FUMES :: FUNK LATIN UNION :: FUNKOARS :: FUTURE FARM :: FUTURE ISLANDS :: THE FYOOGS :: GALAPAGOOSE :: GALAXY CAT :: GALLEON :: GAVIN DE ALMEIDA :: GAY PARIS :: THE GELS :: GEMINI DOWNS :: GENERATION SWINE :: GEORDIE LITTLE :: GERMEIN SISTERS :: GG ALAN BINDIG :: GHOST WALK :: GHOUL :: GHYTI :: GHYTI (DUO) :: GHYTI & THE PHILANTHROPIC ORCHESTRA :: GINDIANA BONES AND THE SEVERAL KIDNEYS OF THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN STATION :: GINFOX VS HELLO NEWMAN :: GIRL TALK :: THE GIVEAWAYS :: GLASS :: GLASS DUNES :: GLASS SKIES :: GLASS TOWERS :: GLISK :: GNARLS BARKLEY :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT :: GOD GOD DAMMIT DAMMIT (Lounge Set) :: GOLD BLOOM :: THE GOOD CHINA :: GOOD BOY :: GOON WIZARRD :: GOTYE :: GRACE: THE SONGS OF JEFF BUCKLEY :: GRACE GOODFELLOW :: GRAFTON PRIMARY :: THE GRAND RAPIDS :: THE GRATES :: GRAVEYARD TRAIN :: THE GREETING METHOD :: GRENADIERS :: GREY DATURAS :: GRIMES :: GRIMEY :: GROOVE ARMADA :: GROUND COMPONENTS :: THE GROWL :: GUILLAUME SOLO ACOUSTIC :: GUINEAFOWL :: GUN IT :: GÜNTER & THE SAFEWORD :: GYRO :: HAIM :: HAL BIRD :: HALCYON DRIVE :: HALFWAY TO FORTH :: THE HAPPY ENDINGS :: HAPPY SOMETIMES :: HAR MAR SUPERSTAR :: THE HARD ACHES :: HARMLESS HUNTER :: HARMONY :: HARRY FREEMAN :: HARTS :: HAWKS OF ALBA :: HAYSTACKS CALHOON :: HEATH WEBER :: HEKYL :: HELLO, LOVER :: HELLO NEWMAN :: HELMET :: HESTON DROP :: HEY FEVER :: HEY LADY! :: HI, I'M RECLUSIVE AUTHOR THOMAS PYNCHON :: HIGH STAKES :: HIGH TENSION :: HIGH VIOLET :: HIGHTIME :: HILLS & TRAINS :: HIT THE JACKPOT :: THE HOLD STEADY :: THE HOLIDAYS :: HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD :: HOLOGRAPHIC COLTS :: HOLY FUCK :: HOLY HOLY :: THE HOLY SEA :: HOLY SERPENT :: HOME FOR THE DEF :: THE HONEY PIES :: HORROR MY FRIEND :: HOSPITAL THE MUSICAL :: HOT WINGS :: HOUSE OF JADE :: HOWL AT THE MOON :: HOWL 'N BONES :: HOWLING BELLS :: THE HOWLING FOG :: HUMBLE BEE :: HUMMINGBIRD :: HUNGRY KIDS OF HUNGARY :: THE HUNTED CROWS :: HURRICANE JANE :: HURRICANES :: THE HUSHES :: HUXLEY :: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT WEEZER :: I HEART HIROSHIMA :: I, A MAN :: ICE ON MERCURY :: ID :: IGGY POP & THE STOOGES :: IIAH :: ILLICIT EVE :: IMMIGRANT UNION :: IMOGEN BRAVE :: IMPARTIAL :: THE IMPOSSIBLE QUICHE :: THE INCHES :: INDIAGO :: INSTITUT POLAIRE :: INTERCOOLER :: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF MOJO :: THE INTERNET :: INTERPOL :: INTERZONE EXPRESS :: INTROVERT :: INUETTE :: INWOODS :: IRAAN SANADZADEH :: IRIDIUM :: IRIE KNIGHTS :: THE IRRESPONSIBLES :: ISLE OF CAPRI :: ISLE OF VISION :: IT'S A HOAX :: IT'S A HOAX (INSTRUMENTAL) :: IT'S WARSAW :: IVORY :: J-LO BIAFRA :: J-WAH :: JACK LONDON :: JACKSON FIREBIRD :: JAMES PARRY :: JANE'S ADDICTION :: JAPAM :: JAPANDROIDS :: JAPANTHER :: JARVIS :: JARVIS COCKER :: JASON SIMON (DEAD MEADOW) :: JAY WALKER AND THE PEDESTRIANS :: JAYNE-ANNE POWER :: JEFF MARTIN & TEREPAI RICHMOND :: JESS KENT :: JESS PORTER :: JESSE DAVIDSON :: JESSE FRANCIS :: JESUS CHRIST POSSE :: THE JEZABELS :: JIKA :: JIMMY & THE MIRRORS :: JIMMY EAT WORLD :: JIMMY MARIN :: JIMMY MOUNTAIN :: JOE MCKEE :: JOEL STERN :: JOEL STERN, CURED PINK & TIMOTHY TATE :: THE JOHN STEEL SINGERS :: JON ADDAMS :: JON MARCO :: JON MORTIMER :: JONNY BLIZZARD :: JORDAN TITO :: JOSH CALLIGEROS :: JOURNEY WELL SPACE WIZARD :: JOY & SPARKS :: JP COE & THE DELEGATES :: JUDGE MENTAL :: JUMP! YOU REVOLUTIONARY :: JUNGLE CITY :: JUNGLEMIRE :: JUPITER :: JUPITER (DUO) :: JUPITER LEAD :: KAB SAVVY :: KAHL WALLIS :: KAMIKAZE :: KAMIKAZE TRIO :: KANGAROO SKULL :: KARL MELVIN :: KASABIAN :: KASAVETT :: KATE VIGO & THE UNDERGROUND ORCHESTRA :: KAURNA CRONIN :: KAZKARIV :: THE KEEPSAKES :: KELLIE LLOYD :: KELLY MENHENNETT :: KELSHY :: THE KEMP BROTHERS :: KHAN :: KID SAM :: KIDS IN CULTS :: KIDS WITH TEETH :: KIKUYU :: THE KILL DEVIL HILLS :: KILLER BIRDS :: THE KILLBOT FACTORY :: THE KILLGIRLS :: KING DADDY :: KING GIZZARD & THE LIZARD WIZARD :: KING KRILL :: KING KRULE :: KING OF THE NORTH :: KINGSTON DOWNES :: KINGSWOOD :: KINS :: KIRK SPECIAL :: KIRK WATT :: KITCHEN WITCH :: KITTEN KONG :: KITTYHAWK :: KOI CHILD :: KORAL :: KORAL & THE GOODBYE HORSES :: KRIS WANDERS :: KRISTINA MILTIADOU :: KURT VILE :: KYLIE BRICE TRIO :: KYRI :: KYTES OF OMAR :: LA FEMME LE FEVER :: LADY GUNG-HO & THE ANGELS OF STRANGELOVE :: LADY STRANGELOVE :: THE LADYBEATLES :: LADYHAWKE :: LAHARA :: LANCE LAZER & TALIBAND :: LARSEN :: LAST DAYS OF KALI :: LAST DINOSAURS :: THE LAST SUPPER :: LATE NIGHT MATINEE :: LATER THAT NIGHT :: LAURA HILL :: LAURA IMBRUGLIA :: LAW & DISORDER :: LAZARO'S DOG :: LC3'S :: LEADER CHEETAH :: LEFT :: LEGENDS OF MOTORSPORT :: LEIGHSTARDUST :: THE LEITMOTIF :: LEITMOTIV LIMBO :: LE GATEAU CHOCOLAT :: LEMURIAN :: LENIN MCCARTHY :: LEO :: LEAPING FELIX :: LES SAVY FAV :: THE LEVITATORS :: LIFE IN LETTERS :: LIGHTS :: LIKE KITES :: LIKE LEAVES :: LIL VALENTINE :: LILY MOJITO :: LILLY SIM :: LILLYS RADIO :: LINE HONOURS :: LIPSMACK :: LITTLE BRIDGET :: LITTLE CAPTAIN :: LITTLE DRAGON :: LITTLE ICE AGE :: LITTLE PRINCE :: LITTLE TWO EYES :: THE LIZARDS :: LO! :: LOADED LEOPARD :: LOCAL REVOLUTION :: LOEMAX :: THE LONDON ROAD POETS :: THE LONELINESS OF A MIDDLE DISTANCE RUNNER :: LONELY FIRE :: LONG WALK HOME :: LONI RAE :: LOON LAKE :: LORDE :: LOST COSMONAUT :: THE LOST SHOW :: LOST VALENTINOS :: LOST WOODS :: LOUIS DONNARUMMA :: LOUISE ADAMS :: LOUISE & THE TORNADOS :: LOUISE ADAMS & THE FRINGE DWELLERS :: LOVE CREAM :: THE LOVE JUNKIES :: LOVE OF DIAGRAMS :: LOVE STEREO :: LOVE ZOMBIES :: THE LUCKSMITHS :: LUKE ASHBY BAND :: LUKE CARLINO :: LUKE DUX :: LUKE ESCOMBE :: LUKE EYGENRAAM :: LUKE GOLDING :: THE LUKE LOUIE TRIO :: LUMONICS :: LYLA :: MAC DEMARCO :: MACH PELICAN :: MACKENZIE :: MAD SHAPES :: MADCLASSIC :: MAGGIE & LOUIS :: MAGIC BONES :: THE MAGNETS :: MAKING :: MAMMAL :: MAMMOTH :: MAMMOTH LOGIC :: MANE :: MANI NEUMEIER & THE BITCHES OF ZEUS :: MANOR :: MARCUS COROWA :: MARK CURTIS BAND :: MARCUS WARNECKE & SAM PORTER :: MARDEN :: MARGARET LLOYD & SEB TONKIN :: MARK CURTIS :: MARLA SINGER :: MARY TREMBLES :: MARY WEBB :: MASSIVE :: MASTER'S CURIOUS DELIRIUM :: MATHEMATIC :: MATHIEU WERCHOWSKI :: MATT BANHAM :: MATTHEW BARLOW :: MATT HAYWARD :: MATTHEW MILES :: MAX SAVAGE :: MAX SAVAGE & THE FALSE IDOLS :: MAYDAY FAIR :: MAYFIELD :: MCKISKO :: MEAKE :: MEANWELL COLLEGE :: THE MEDICS :: MEGAFAUNA :: MENAGERIE :: MERCY ARMS :: MERE THEORY :: THE MESS HALL :: MESSRS :: METHYL ETHEL :: METZ :: MEZZANINE :: MICHAEL STOWERS :: MICK ARMSTRONG, ANDY ARMSTRONG & STAN BASTIRAS :: THE MIDDLE EAST :: MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS :: THE MILTON EXPERIENCE :: MIKE MCKEON :: MIKE RADZEVICIUS :: MIKE TILBROOK :: MIKEY (EX ARTAX MISSION) :: MINDSHOWER :: MIO :: MIRRORLINE :: THE MISCHIEF :: MISCHIEF THE CAT :: MISS GOLLY GOSH :: MISS RENEE SIMONE :: THE MISSION IN MOTION :: MM9 :: MOGERLAINE :: THE MOLTING VULTURES :: MOMOKO SODA :: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE :: MONDO PHASE BAND :: MONEY FOR ROPE :: THE MONIKERS :: MONKEY PUZZLE TREE :: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL :: MOODY BELLES :: MOONFAKER :: MOONHUNTER :: MORALS OF A MINOR :: THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS :: MOTHER'S CAKE :: THE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS :: MOTHERSLUG :: THE MOTIVE :: MOTOWN CONNECTION :: MOUNTAIN STATIC :: MOUNTAIN STRANGER :: MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY :: MOUNTBATTEN :: MOURGOS GRUND :: THE MOURNING SONS :: MOVE TO STRIKE :: MOVIN' MELVIN BROWN :: MR ROSEWATER :: MR WEDNESDAY :: MUM'S TENNIS FRIENDS :: MUMFORD & SONS :: MUNCHKIN :: MUSCLE CAR VS HIGH STAKES :: MUSTERED COURAGE :: MUTEMATH :: MY DISCO :: MY SISTER THE COP :: MYLES MAYO :: N.A.S.A. :: NAKATOMI :: NAOMI KEYTE :: NAOMI KEYTE & TANNON KEW :: NATHAN KAYE :: NAZZ AND THE RED PONIES :: NEO FIX :: NEOHIP :: NEON BOGART :: NEON ELECTRIC :: NEREEDA :: NERVOUS GERBAL :: THE NEW CABAL :: NEW PANTS :: NEW POLLUTANTS :: NEW TRANSLATION :: NICK MURPHY :: THE NEW VAGUE :: NEW WHITE SNEAKERS :: NEW YORK DOLLS :: NEWTONHEATH :: NICHOLAS ALLBROOK :: NICKER TEENS :: NIGEL KOOP & STEVIE BEE :: NIKAI :: NIKKO :: NIKKO & SNOOKS :: NITIDUS :: NO BIRDS :: NO THROUGH ROAD :: NO ZU :: NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS :: THE NOVOCAINES :: NUVO :: THE NYMPHS :: O' LITTLE SISTER :: THE OCEAN PARTY :: OCEANICS :: ODYSSEY :: THE OFFCUTS :: OH MERCY :: OH MINOR :: OH MY GUARD! :: OISIMA :: OKKERVIL RIVER :: OLD MATE :: OLIVERS ARMY :: OLLIE ENGLISH :: OLLY HOLMES :: ONE THOUSAND COUPLES :: ONION :: ONLY OBJECTS :: ONNIE ART :: THE ORBWEAVERS :: ORELIA :: THE OSCILLATORS :: OSH10 :: OVERVIEW EFFECT :: OWLS OF THE SWAMP :: PABLO LIBIDO & THE WHITE ROBOTS :: PAIGE RENEE COURT :: PALACE OF THE KING :: PALEFACE :: THE PANDA BAND :: PANOPTIQUE ELECTRICAL :: PAPA VS PRETTY :: PAPER ARMS :: THE PAPER SCISSORS :: PARADES :: PARTY :: PATRIARCHAL DEATH MACHINE :: PATRICK SARACINO :: PEACHES & HERM :: PEABODY :: PENELOPE SUICIDE :: PENNY IKINGER :: PERFECT PUSSY :: PERSIA & THE GEORGE GRIFSAS QUARTET :: THE PET SHOP BOYS :: PETER COMBE :: THE PHARAOHS :: PHILADELPHIA GRAND JURY :: THE PHOBIAS :: PHOENIX :: PIMPIN' HORUS :: PINK NOISE GENERATOR :: PINKY BEECROFT & THE WHITE RUSSIANS :: PISTOL SHRIMP :: THE PITS :: PIVOT :: THE PIXIES :: PLACEBO :: THE PLEASURE OF BOOKS :: PLUG IN CITY :: PNAU :: POCKET ACE :: POETIKOOL JUSTICE :: POLY & THE STATICS :: POND :: PONY DANCE :: PONYTAIL KINK :: THE POP-UPS :: POPY JANE :: POPEYE & OLIVE OYL :: PORCHLIGHT PARADE :: POST DEATH POST :: THE PRESETS :: PRESTON'S HISTORIC PUNCH & JUDY SHOW :: PRINCE RAMA :: PRINCESS ONE POINT FIVE :: PROBLEMS :: THE PRODIGY :: THE PRO-TOOLS :: THE PROPHETS OF IMPENDING DOOM :: PSYCHEDELIC P*RN CRUMPETS :: THE PSYCHONAUTS :: PUNK JAZZ MONORAIL :: PURITY RING :: PUT DOWNS :: QUA :: QUANTUM CHAOS :: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE :: QUEST :: QUESTION QUESTION :: QUIET CHILD :: QUIET IN THE LAB! :: RACHEL CEARNS :: RACHEL CEARNS & THE VALKYRIES :: RADIANT CITY :: RADIO SPECTACULAR!!! :: RADIO STAR :: RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE :: THE RAGING POPULATION :: RAINDROP :: RAPID TRANSPORT :: THE RAPTURE :: RAT TA'MANGO :: RAUCOUSTRA :: RAURY :: THE RAVEONETTES :: THE READYMADES :: REALIST FEW :: REALM :: RED APPARITION :: RED COATS :: RED DESERT OCEAN :: THE RED EARTH BLUES BAND :: RED INK :: THE RED PAINTINGS :: RED SEA :: THE RED SUN BAND :: REGULAR JOHN :: REGURGITATOR :: RELYING ON LUCK :: REJUSA :: THE REMEMBERZ :: RENDEZVOUS WITH RAMA :: THE REPROBETTES :: REPTILES :: RICH DAVIES & AYLEEN O'HANLON :: RICHARD IN YOUR MIND :: RICOCHET PETE :: RIDE INTO THE SUN :: RIN MCARDLE :: RIN & THE RECKLESS :: RINCON :: RINGO STALIN :: RIOT RUNNERS :: RISEMANN :: RITES WILD :: RIVER OF SNAKES :: ROBOTOSAURUS :: ROCKET SCIENCE :: THE ROCKETEERS :: ROGER THAT :: ROGUE ROMANTIC :: THE ROLLERCANES :: RON THE OX :: THE ROOFTOPS :: ROOK :: RORY O'CONNOR :: ROSS DE CHENE HURRICANES :: ROTE MARE :: ROYAL BLOOD :: ROYAL HEADACHE :: THE RUBENS :: RULE OF THIRDS :: THE RULES :: RUN THE JEWELS :: RUNNING WITH HORSES :: RUNZELSTIRM & GURGLESTOCK :: RUSSIA :: RUSSIAN TEAMMATE :: RYAN MEEKING & THE FEW :: RYAN OLIVER :: SAILMAKER :: SAILORS AND SWINE :: SAINT HUCK :: THE SALVADORS :: SAM WOOLFORD :: SAMPA THE GREAT :: SAN CISCO :: SARAH BLASKO :: SARAH CHADWICK :: SASHA MARCH :: SASHA MARSH & THE DAWNHORSE :: SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS :: SATIN HAREM :: SAUL WILLIAMS :: SAVAGES :: SAVING SAVANAH :: THE SCARE :: THE SCARLET IVES :: SCHOOL OF RADIANT LIVING :: SCREAMING GIBBON :: THE SEA THIEVES :: SEA URCHIN & ALLIES :: SEABELLIES :: SEAMUS ANTHONY :: SEAN DESMOND :: SEAN KEMP :: SECRETS IN SCALE :: SEEKAE :: SERENDIPITY :: THE SERRA :: SEVENTEEN FIFTY SEVEN :: SEX ON TOAST :: SEX WIZARD :: SEX UNCLE :: SEXUAL DAD :: THE SHADOW LEAGUE :: SHADOWQUEEN :: THE SHAKE UP :: SHAMAN SON :: SHAME SPIRAL :: THE SHAOLIN AFRONAUTS :: SHAPES DIVIDE :: SHARK IN THE DARK :: SHE SAID YOU :: SHE'S THE BAND :: SHILOH :: THE SHINE :: THE SHINY BRIGHTS :: SHIVERS :: SHOJI HANO :: SIAMESE :: SIANNA LEE :: SIDEWALKS :: S.I.G.I.T. :: SILENT DUCK :: THE SILENTS :: SIMON & JENNY :: SIMON ABERLE :: SIN CITY :: SINCERELY, GRIZZLY :: SIR GERBIL :: SISTER ROSE :: SITARA :: SKELETONS :: SKIES :: SKIPPING GIRL VINEGAR :: SKYBOMBERS :: SKYTHIEF :: SKYE HARBOUR :: SLAMAGOTCHI :: SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY :: SLEEP PARADE :: SLEEPTALKER :: THE SLEEPY JACKSON :: SLICK ARNOLD :: SLINGSHOT DRAGSTER :: THE SLOE RUIN :: SLY HATS :: SMALL AFFAIRS :: SMASHING PUMPKINS :: SMILE :: THE SMITH STREET BAND :: SNAKADAKTAL :: SNAP TO ZERO :: THE SNOWDROPPERS :: SNOWMAN :: ...SO YEAH :: SOFT WHITE MACHINE :: SOJOURN :: SOMNIUM (2016) :: SOMMNIUM (2007) :: SONATINE :: SONIC DEATH MONKEY :: SONS OF ZOKU :: SOURSOP :: SOUTH FROM SOMEWHERE :: SOUTHPOOR :: SPANK ROCK :: SPARKSPITTER :: SPARTAK :: SPECIAL PATROL :: SPEED MACHINE :: SPILT CITIES :: SPINDICKLE :: SPINE :: THE SPIRES :: SQUEAKER :: ST. MORRIS SINNERS :: ST. VINCENT :: STABBITHA & THE KNIFEY WIFEYS :: STANDARD UNION :: STARS :: STARS YOUNG :: THE STEADY ONS :: STEEL TIGER :: STEERING BY STARS :: STEREOLAB :: STEVE SMYTH :: THE STIFFYS :: THE STILL MOVEMENT :: STONEFIELD :: STOP SAYING HELICOPTER :: THE STORM WILL COVER OUR TRACKS :: STRAIGHT TO VIDEO :: STREETLIGHT :: STREGA :: SUBAUDIBLE HUMM :: SUBMERGE :: SUBTRACT S :: SUBURBAN STANDOFF :: SUGAR ARMY :: SUMI :: SUMMER BLOOD :: SUMMER FLAKE :: THE SUN AND THE SKY :: THE SUNBIRDS :: THE SUNDANCE KIDS :: SUNK LOTO :: SUNSETTLER :: SUPER XX MAN :: SUPERBEE :: SUPERCAINE :: SUPERCAINE DUO :: SUPERCAINE DUO (with DUSTY LEE STEPHENSEN) :: THE SUPERGROUPATOOS :: SUPERPHATASS :: SURES :: SURFER ROSA :: SURVIVING SHARKS :: SUZI STAPLETON :: SWAYBACK :: SWEEPER :: THE SWEET DECLINE :: SWIMMING :: SWIMSUIT :: THE SWISS :: SWORDS :: SXWZD :: SYDONIA :: THE SYSTEMADDICTS :: SYSTEM OF A DOWN :: TABULA RASA :: TALL TALL TREES :: TALVIN SINGH :: TAME IMPALA :: TANTALUM :: THE TANUKI SUIT :: TASH SULTANA :: TAUGHT BY ANIMALS :: TEA :: THE TEDDY ROYALS :: TEENAGE CRIME :: TEENAGERSINTOKYO :: TELEPROMPTER :: TEMPER TRAP :: TEMPORAL LOBE :: THE TEMPS :: TERRA FIRMA :: THANES :: THELMA PLUM :: THEM PLASMS :: THEM SWOOPS :: THESE WILD ANIMALS :: THE THIEVES :: THIS CITY SUNRISE :: THOSE MAGNIFICENT SCREAMING BASTARDS :: TIERSMAN :: THE TIM MCMILLAN BAND :: TIM MOORE :: THE TIMBERS :: THE TIMBERS TRIO :: TINY CONSPIRACY :: TINY SPIDERS :: THEE OH SEES :: THOM LION & THE TAMERS :: THOMAS CAPOGRECO :: THRASHBOARD :: THUNDERCLAW :: TIGER CHOIR :: TIGER ET GHOST :: TKAY & BADCOP :: TKAY MAIDZA :: TODD SIBBIN :: TODD SIBBIN & THE ACADIAN DRIFTWOOD :: TODD SIBBINS & THE OPPOSITE ENDS :: TOKYO CITY SEX SHOOTERS :: DJ TOM LOUD :: TOM CAPOGRECO & DUNCAN CAMPBELL :: TOM SMITH :: TOM WEST :: TOM WEST & TODD SIBBIN :: TOM THUM :: TOM UGLY :: TOMORROW IS :: TONY FONT SHOW :: TOOL :: TORK :: THE TORRENS :: TORTE E MORT :: THE TOSS :: TOTALLY UNICORN :: THE TOUCH :: TOUGH BOYS :: TOXIC SHOCK :: TRACER :: THE TRAFALGARS :: THE TRANSATLANTICS :: TRANSPORT :: TRASH CITY :: TRAVELLER & FORTUNE :: TREETOPS :: TRENT WORLEY :: TRICIA CATFORD :: THE TRIPPING LILIES :: TRIXIE PLAIN :: TRUCE :: TRUCE & THE COLONEL :: TRUCKFIGHTERS :: TRUTH CORRODED :: TTTDC :: TUMBLEWEED :: TUSCADERO :: THE TWOKS :: TWO SUNS :: TWO WAY RADIO :: TYCHO :: TYGER TYGER :: TYRESWANS :: TZU :: UK SPECIAL :: UNCLE CHUNK :: UNCUT WHITE NOISE :: UNKLE :: UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA :: UNPAID DEPT :: THE UNSET :: UNSPOKEN THINGS :: URTEKK :: VALENTIINE :: VALIANT JONES :: VALKYRIES :: THE VAMPIRE PROJECT :: VAN CLEEF :: VAN SHE :: VANE OF BARBS :: VANILLA ICE :: THE VANITY CURE :: VANITY ERA :: VARLIIBA :: THE VASCO ERA :: THE VENICE WHALERS :: VENTOLIN :: VERONA LIGHTS :: THE VILLENETTES :: THE VILLENETTES (DUO) :: THE VINES :: THE VIOLET CRAMS :: VIOLENT SOHO :: VIRTUE :: VNB :: THE VOLUME :: VOLUME = COLOUR :: VOWEL MOVEMENT :: VOXANGELICA :: WALTER MARSH :: WARPAINT :: THE WARRING SIGHS :: THE WARSAW FLOWERS :: THE WARSAW PACT :: WASHINGTON :: WASTED WANDERERS :: THE WATERSLIDES :: WE ALL WANT TO :: WE AS ART, WE AS ARTISTS :: WE GROW UP :: WEED CAPITAL :: THE WEEVILS :: WEST THEBARTON BROTHEL PARTY :: WHERE WERE YOU AT LUNCH :: THE WHISKEY GO GO'S :: THE WHISPERERS :: WHITE LUNG :: WHITE RHINO :: THE WHITE STRIPES :: WILD OATS :: THE WILD THINGS :: WILEY RED FOX :: THE WILLIAM STREET STRIKERS :: WILLIE MCRAE BAND :: THE WINTER GYPSY :: WINTER'S LAMENT :: WINTERCOATS :: WINTERMILD :: WIREHEADS :: THE WITCH :: WITCH HATS :: WOE :: WOLF & CUB :: WOLFMOTHER :: WOMEN MOVING FURNITURE :: THE WOOHOO REVUE :: THE WOOLCOCKS :: WORLD WILD :: WYLDE THROE :: THE X O EXES :: XANGO :: XL VISION :: THE XX :: YANKEE MACHINE :: YEASAYER :: YOSSARIAN :: YOUNG AND RESTLESS :: YOUNG HEARTS FAIL :: YOUNG OFFENDERS :: YOUNG RIVER & THE VULTURES OF VIRTUE :: YOUTH & WONDER :: YOUR MOTIVE FOR :: YUSUKE AKAI :: YVES KLEIN BLUE :: ZEAL :: ZEEQUIL :: ZETA :: ZOE BEHAN ::

:: Wednesday, September 09, 2009

THE DAIRY BROTHERS + DEADLY ARE THE NAKED + PIMPIN' HORUS
LIVE @ THE CROWN & ANCHOR / Friday September 4th 2009

I usually like to think I've got THIS shit all figured out. We're talking chess pieces on a board. We're talking cool calculating conspiracies. We're talking Cheshire Cat grins, strategic as all fuck, plotting and scheming this mad mischief like a fullblown military campaign. Like I've got this scene totally sorted. Like nothing gets by me. Like I'm that one sharp shooting assassin you can ALWAYS count on to unleash high hell and hilarity in this city! YEAAAS!! (or in other words stop me if you've heard this shit before). And then *BAM* a night like THIS comes along again and I've got nada, no plans, nothing at all? Whoaaa duuude say it ain't so!? Yeah I know, awesome huh? I love being THIS clueless, I really do! Beats me how it happened either. Guess everything piled up around here in the last few weeks, things got a little crazy (tell me about it!), like I was one spastic cuckoo clock in serious need for some C4 and a rubber room psychiatrist (one long winter and a mad hit of writer's block? pfft.. you don't even know the half of it!) and if it wasn't for someone slipping me the facebook skinny on this show at the very last minute (no shit dudes I owe you one!), I wouldn't have the first idea what to do tonight. It's all quite refreshing really (I should totally have "no plans" more often!). Which is why I'm back again at The Crown & Anchor. I mean where ELSE would I be on a night like this: on the first Friday night of Spring, on the first night of the full moon, howling mad and without a clue!? Nowhere else that's what! This proverbial stench? this open sewer? this human cesspool swirling about you with an air of ripening stupidity!? OH YES!! we're amongst true friends here! Yup if ever you doubt where to go, what to do, or who to do it to (and where to bury the "bodies" afterwards) this hilarious hell hole always has the answer!



And to think it's been well over three months since I've caught a gig in here too, or anywhere ELSE in the east end ghetto for that matter (with the possible exception of that hilarious night off I had last Friday and never told you about) sheeiiit! I mean sure I've been here drunk plenty of times since. I've dabbled in that "no-man's land" that stretches north to south and in between from Adelaide Uni Bar to The Metro. But there's something truly unmistakable about catching a live gig at The Crown & Anchor, as far as fuck away from the west end extremes.. that I swear in winter I'd missed like nothing else! From the crunching texture of broken glass, beer stain, sweat and vomit. To the howling baboon choir beckoning me to wallow ever deeper in its devolving depths. To that musty stench seeping into the walls that scream "Cantina" out of Star Wars meets "Paper Street Soap Company" out of Fight Club. It represents everything Rock & Roll should be! Yup in every way it's gonna be a complete and utter shambles tonight? I'm very much looking forward to it!




PIMPIN' HORUS (***1/2) myspace ::
And speaking of such, here's our opening act! Yup, up until now they've been one of those "lucky few" Adelaide acts who've never had the misfortune to appear in an episode of Spoz's Rant (weird I know.. you'd think they would know better by now!). In fact by current (and utterly unfounded) estimates there's got to be hundreds of these rat bastards STILL gagging for this shit on a weekly basis, despite all my best efforts to discourage them (no really.. have you ever READ this blog!?). Most of course I'm blissfully unaware of. They're the sort you'd see frequenting The Underground, Producers Bar for "Syke", Enigma Bar for their monthly "War Room", Fowlers Live for one of their always awesome "all-ages shows", Higher Ground, or all manner of pubs and clubs stuck in the arse end of suburbia (or in other words you're likely dodging a bullet there). Rarer still there are those chance exceptions I'd actually be perfectly happy to go see, and yet through no fault of their own I've simply made a "game" out of not seeing them instead (why? pfft.. cause it's fucking hilarious that's why!). And as much as I dare not mention any others by name? Pimpin' Horus are one such band. I swear I've made a running joke of this shit for years now. Their lead singer Shannon "Shan Van" Broughton and their bassplayer Dylan "Thrillby" McCullough I've known ever since they played in a band (who I also never saw) called Grübenstyle back in 2007. Funnier still I've even had one of their songs: "Got The Knowledge" on my ipod (it's annoyingly catchy too). And every few months I'd bump into them, they'd mention a show they had coming up and I'd never turn up. YES!! or at least I never have until tonight, where at long last I finally get to put them out of their misery.. and as it turns out? they ain't half bad. In essense they're a funk band, or more specificially a loose as fuck funk band you'd expect to find blazing up a monster doobie in any given Pauly Shore or Keanu Reeves film dating back to the late 80's or early 90's. Think Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure. Think Encino Man. Think surfer dudes and wastoids populating California's San Fernando with a whacked out valley vernacular. Or simply think "Dude Where's My Car?" and loose track of all your thoughts altogether. It's the loosest of grooves that hits you at first, setting you at ease like letting out a warm fart in a bathtub. One that appropriates much of its laid back charm from bands such as Living Colour, early Red Hot Chili Peppers or the collected works of Bootsy Collins. Nothing's at all abrasive here: it's all slow-mo rubber band rapping, loping rhythms, spaced out jamming, delivered smooth as fuck and 100% free from paranoia enducing chemicals, additives or preservatives. But what really kicks it up another notch is the exceptionally dope guitar playing from one Johnny "Jables" Rhythm (the squinting doofus in the spastic silver jacket) who absolutely kills those blues riffs like no other. Oh and as another added bonus? they even have their own dedicated "lighting gimp" who follows them from show to show (hi Sarah!) and yes she's quite possibly the most awesome thing ever as far as I'm concerned. Pimpin' Horus. They might not be the most innovative cats out there, they might not have a whole lot going on "between the ears" in most of their songs (I mean it IS funk afterall!), but trust me it's just about impossible not to dig them all the same. Get loose, load up on those Doritos like a mad man, space out on that bean bag, blaze this shit up on full and dude you'll blissing out in no time!














DEADLY ARE THE NAKED (****) myspace ::
Our second act I knew next to nothing about save for the fact that they're from Melbourne and for their eye gougingly memorable name "Deadly Are The Naked". Yup they really DO take all sorts in here don't they? (well it IS the east end's "halfway house" for the criminally insane dontcha know?). As such, and in keeping with The Crown & Anchors long and proud history of serving up nothing short of "musical excellence" (I mean shit.. they even gave MY fucked up band a gig!), I pretty much assumed any of the following "worst case scenarios" would likely rear their heads tonight: (a) they'd be a self destructive brain injury thinly disguised as an oldskool seventies "punk band" (ie: picture any gig Kamikaze has ever played in here, only to receive a "life-long" ban from all the barstaff and management, only to headline it the next week.. YES!!), (b) they'd be yet another ridiculously awesome (and in no way disposable) hair metal, goth, or prog-metal novelty act that I'd see once only to vow NEVER TO SEE THEM AGAIN (pfft.. what The Vampire Project!? duuude I freaking love those guys!), or (c) we'd see nothing but some scruffy old geezer relieving himself on stage to the riotous sound of pan flutes (and I'd instantly give it five stars!). And as much as what eventually DID surface on stage tonight was none of the above (thank fuck.. because I totally didn't bring my hazmat gear!) they were no less welcome regardless for being one of the most hilariously stupid live acts I'd witnessed all week. Deadly Are The Naked. In theory think of them as a dirty old blues band mixed in with elements of funk. Or in other words picture equal parts Joe Cocker, The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion and The Jimi Hendrix Experience mixed up with insane shit like Cake and the Bloodhound Gang. Or simply imagine a blue collar rendition of "The Blues Brothers" as performed by plumbers, panel beaters, electricians and slaughter house workers, only armed with one fuck of a dirtyarse rhythm section. Yup, by that basis alone they're more or less serviceable.. and yet that barely covers the half of it. Their real weapon of mass destruction here is their lead singer, one Adam "Beats" Juricev-Mikulin. Simply put he's the happiest damn dude on the planet to be here. There's just no way you can escape his event horizon, he freaking OWNS this stage tonight. With a retarding grin he'll tear into each and every one of their songs with the sort of unbridled enthusiasm usually reserved for five year olds on Christmas Day, soccer hooligans at a World Cub Final, or one of those hilarious hellfire preachers from the southern states of United States (where it's all about snake handling, riotous exorcisms and cash embezzlment) who's always one aneurysm short of bringing about the apocalypse. And he's not just singing the lyrics either (which from the sounds of it appear to be little more than a mashed up collage of nineties novelty covers all woven together), or continually thanking the audience for showing up (or bitching about the fact Adelaide beat Essendon in the finals), he'll also "air" perform the rest of the band too. From air guitar, air drumming to air bass he's got it all covered. He's an animal, he's a machine, he's Animal from The Muppets crossbred with Daffy Duck and a malfunctioning expresso machine! I swear smashing a rapid succession of six redbull shots, followed by someone repetitively tazering you in the pink bits? barely equals the level he's operating on. Yup as much as you wouldn't remember ANY of the music they otherwise played (I mean what the fuck was it.. one aimless forty minute blues jams!? SHIT YEAH!!) thanks to THIS space case letting loose on it, this still made for one fucked up "memorable" experience!













And quite like every other Melbourne touring act who's ever stormed this room in triumph (only for all their bodies to be found stuffed into the dumpsters out back in Union Street, hours later, with all their heads removed), the crowd at The Crown & Anchor reacted in rapturous kind the only way they knew how: by descending upon their guitarist Dion "Darkness" Melder with overwhelming force, uprooting him from the stage, surfing him about the room to a hooting baboon choir, only to devour him whole in a manner of minutes (I'm told he tasted remarkably like beef jerky too!).



THE DAIRY BROTHERS (****1/2) myspace ::
Which in a none too gruesome fashion *burp* scuse me.. brings us to our headlining act. The one band I've clearly dropped absolutely everything else I had "planned" to go see tonight (please no pause for irony) for I think we can all agree it's truly been a long time coming for a repeat performance from them. No it's been more than that, it's been a freaking lifetime! Yup, by my reckoning it's been almost two years since last I saw them live at Producers Bar (and duuude what a show that was.. they totally toppled the Howard government and everything!). And sure they've probably played plenty of shows since, hundreds in fact. Maybe they've even thrown a massive nationwide tour, conquered the Japanese market, won rave reviews at Madison Square Garden and released a Christmas album.. but since none of them ever appeared on my blog!? they NEVER really happened! Make no mistake people, their appearance tonight is nothing short of a miracle. In fact they were SO excited to be here after all this time (years I tells you!) that their lead singer: one Joel McMillan (who you may also recognise from both Delusions Of Grandma and Double Handed) got SO ridiculously drunk celebrating during Deadly Are The Naked he lost all his kidney function and collapsed dead on the floor in front of us; only to be replaced by uncanny look-a-like Joel "One Hundred Dollars" Milkowski at the very last minute. Weird I know (and again a little needlessly gruesome) but as they say "the show must go on!". The Dairy Brothers. For many of us (especially those of the bovine persuasion) they are nothing short of a legend in the Adelaide scene. They've been around for years (six of them to be exact) wowing audiences from place to place performing songs that surprisingly have very little to do with the foamy white secretion of cows, goats, sheep, chickens(!?) and occassionally cats (if you have nimble enough fingers) and more to do with the very meaning of life. Songs such as "Baboons" (an anthem for The Crown & Anchor if ever I heard one), "Sword" and "Kneed In The Groin". Songs that speak to the very heart of each and everyone of us. Yup, don't think of them as a novelty act, do your best to forget that performing mascot in the cow suit back in 2005, and whatever you don't EVER confuse them with The Beards, The Dairy Brothers are quite simply the very epitome of "rocking the fuck out". Imagine equal parts eighties stadium anthem, power ballad and nineties irony rock. Imagine a mix between Tenacious D, Dire Straits, The Wiggles, Ben Folds Five and Bon Jovi only multiply by a factor of five and hold the nose bleed. That's The Dairy Brothers. Tonight they may be a little more rough around the edges than usual. They may be a little "un-rehearsed". They may be missing the iconic Miami Vice power dressing and in it's place both Joel and "keytarist" Tom Bettany may be wearing leather jackets (in fact Joel's wearing two of them, one over the top of the other.. just for the fuck of it) but the energy's still the same. Highlights included a blistering cover of "The Power Of Love" by Huey Lewis & The News (think the anthem to Back To The Future only slightly more raucous) and an especially riotous rendition of "Wanker Version Of Yourself" (again an anthem to The Crown & Anchor if ever I heard one) which naturally had everyone in the crowd singing in chorus. So that by the time it was all over? none of us wanted them to leave! They returned for the encore "Really Wanna", everyone cheered, a guitarist may have been eaten (nooo.. not J-Wah!?) and everyone left satisfied in a show well played. The Dairy Brothers. They might not be "high art" by any stretch of the imagination.. but they still get the job done!













2:08AM - After all the awesomeness (and then some!) I'd witnessed in here tonight, I obviously did what everyone else does at The Crown & Anchor on a Friday night, and that's drink myself to an hilarious oblivion in effort to forget it all. I mean what ELSE am I going to do for the next hour or so: find a couch in a quiet corner of the bar and delete over five hundred utterly unnecessary photos off my camera? like all those incriminating shots of Johnny "Jables" Rhythm from Pimpin' Horus being picked apart by scavengers!? like I'm some kinda responsible photojournalist!? pfft.. of course not! (actually to be honest I did both.. but that's besides the point!). Oh and as for what any of that gibberish has got to do with Mario Spate and Tony Irish from The Killgirls spinning a DJ set after the show? nothing at all! Just like I have absolutely no "memory" of what they were playing either, but I assure you if I did it would've been five kinds of fuckoff awesome.. YES!!



2:13AM - This is me standing outside a few moments later, or more accurately it's a photo I took five months ago that I'm using an "establishing shot" to signify that I'm outside.. um.. yeah you know what!? I've got no fucking clue what the fuck I'm doing right now: I didn't have a plan at the start of the night and I have even less of one now past two o'clock in the morning! The good news however is all plans are pretty much made redundant the minute we're THIS retardingly drunk: simply lean forward and let gravity take care of the rest.. genius! Which more often than not (ie: when there's no cheap drinks available at Shotz) sends me in a westerly direction.. hmmm.



2:26AM - This is me washing ashore at the Bull & Bear. Note the golden yellow from the building above bathing this sign in such an ethereal way. Note the fact I somehow got it all in such crisp clear focus despite barely being able to stand upright. Note the flight of stairs that'll surely propel me forward moments later to a five point landing below. Mmmm yes.. so whimsically concussive!



2:31AM - This is a empty tumbler left lying about the bar. Note its rich green glow. Note the tasteful use of "macro zoom" distinguishing it from its amber surrounds. Such sweet symphony!



2:35AM - This is a random "scenster" expertly crapping out a pint glass. Note the trucker hat.



2:37AM - And this is every reason why I'll be rushing straight back to the bar again: as clearly I'm still nowhere near drunk enough yet to handle another hilarious installment of "Transmission".




Case in point? note Olivia's awesome display of "dragon breath" here.



2:41AM - Two (or maybe three) imperial pints later.. or perhaps just the one (but all know which one is the recommended dose here) I bump into Olivia again who seems infinitely proud that she's just killed, skinned and eaten all of the hapless bystanders on the dancefloor around her (or perhaps just the one bespectacled dweeb she swears looks like the lead singer from Van She). Now for the record I havent got the foggiest clue WHY all these people are resorting to cannibalism all of a sudden (is it just the full moon? or am I simply tuning into Triple J at the wrong time of day to miss the significance here!?) either way I'm wise enough not to refuse the photo opportunity.



2:45AM - Moments later Bec (formerly known as bartender) makes an appearance in this blog, for no other reason than she never had a good reason to gatecrash my blog in the first place, but since it's never stopped her in the past she figured she'd do it again. I know.. isn't she awesome!?



Oh and as much as I'd love to say this is her hat? it totally isn't her hat, it's totally someone else's hat and as much as none of this matters a shit to any of you people who are reading this right now: the trivial fact that I couldn't figure out WHO'S hat it was in ALL THE TIME that I was here!? totally bugged the shit out of me. Or at least it did until I went back to the bar again for those other two imperial pints and I totally forgot about it.. wait, what the fuck was I on about again!?



3:11AM - Which obviously explains THIS photo. Me sufficiently drunk enough to finally appreciate just how "ridiculously awesome" a night at Transmission can be: or in other words I've passed out ten minutes ago, I've stopped breathing five minutes ago, and the ambulance is hopefully arriving any minute now to collect what's left of my earthly remains before Olivia discovers a "fresh kill" and cannibalises it. Oh and before you ask it's not Antonia's hat either. I know! doesn't that totally drive you insane? all night I was trying to figure it out and did I ever get an answer!? NOOOO!



3:19AM - After an hour of the same Passion Pit song playing in a loop (or maybe it was MGMT? fuck it.. who can even tell the difference after six or nine beers!?), Ross suddenly realises he's actually meant to be DJing this event and leaps back onto the decks just in time to swap it for that Bag Raiders song you've heard a billion times before at Rocket Bar and found instantly obnoxious: only to suddenly discover it's the most head explodingly awesome thing you've heard all fucking night, but only because the buzz from that tenth beer has finally kicked in. I know.. genius huh!?



3:23AM - Speaking of such, moments later I too made a similar epiphany fucking about with the settings on my camera. Buried under just a few dozen submenus and easily accessible via a fatality combo of set, delete, zoom toggle, cupping my left testicle and sneezing: I discovered an "easter egg" of sorts, or more accurately a toggle switch. Noting that it'd curiously been set to "hilarious trashbag" in all this time, I flicked to the second option "holy crap!!" and shot a quick photo of the first person that strayed into my crosshairs: which by all the dumb luck just so happened to be Bec here.. WHOAAA FUCK DAMN! Yup clearly I hit upon a goldmine here. A diabolical shit hot power in late night drunken photography the likes of which no one would've seen or even anticipated. It would be insane, it would be intense, people would literally explode in the streets at the sight of it.. OH YES! *cough* or at least they would if only I didn't accidently drop my camera again and totally fuck up all the settings.. damnit! (now what was that combo again!?).



3:54AM - And so quite like every other night before it, with no logical segue to make sense of it (I mean who DIDN'T see this one coming!?) I end up at Supermild. Which would've been the all kinds of fuckoff awesome that Supermild's always been reknown for, if only I didn't arrive five minutes before closing time. Hmmm remind me again why I didn't stay at Transmission? Oh that's right I'm a fucking idiot! (although to be fair it was closing time there too.. damnit!). And so all there was left for me to do tonight: was to stumble up to the bar (hi Ruby!) realise they weren't serving anymore, take one hilarious photo of Cameron here (who used to be a bartender at Producers Bar back before it didn't blow both testicles of a goat) and then throw myself into a taxi home.



Yup, tonight I didn't really have a plan. Sure I had some last minute suggestions, a few mad ideas and a little bit of dumb luck stringing it all together but the rest of it I simply made up on the spot. Guess that sums up the start of Spring now doesn't it? Sure most of it from here on in will be utterly nonsensical, annoyingly spontaneous and laughingly inconsequential. Just as likely as most of it will refuse to obey the laws of physics and drive me barking mad and climbing the walls on a weeknight attempting to explain it all.. and yet in SO many ways I actually prefer it. Right here in the eye of the storm with nothing but my instincts to guide me!? this is where I want to be.

Previously on Spoz's Rant: Booster + Squeaker + Your Motive For

:: Spoz 2:34 PM |
...

Bookmark and Share