ANGELIK + BLOW UP BETTY + MISS GOLLY GOSH
LIVE @ THE CROWN & ANCHOR / Saturday September 15th 2007
This is the ever infamous Crown & Anchor Hotel on the corner of Union St and Grenfell St. Otherwise known as the Cranker, Cranka, Crackwhore, Clown & Spanker, the Wanker and "Oh fuck.. not this shithole again!!". You may remember it from the fifty billion other times I've been known to frequent this venue in the past. Behold that ever familiar neon-blue bugzapper glow beckoning me home. I was born here in a pint glass, I have lived here all my life, and chances are I will die here in a hail of shattering glass and foaming stains; this smoking ruin, this curse of my life, Crown & Anchor damn you to hell!! AAAAUUUUUGHHH!!! *cough* anyhoo.. the reason I'm festering in this all-too-familiar crapshack tonight is unsurprisingly for a fartarse punk rock lineup that would otherwise be laughed out've any other venue in Adelaide: Miss Golly Gosh, Blow Up Betty and everyone's favourite alcoholic trainwrecks, Angelik.. weeeeeee! :)MISS GOLLY GOSH
And finally this allstar comedy event tonight comes to a hooting climax with the headlining act Angelik. As much as I like to think of this band as being all about drinking yourself to oblivion, fucking everything that moves and leaving nothing but a smoking crater at the end, it's also about all the other little details that keep me endlessly entertained in entirely too stupid ways. Like for instance how much lead singer Laken flapping about under those green stage lights begins to resemble a giant tree frog, Jar Jar Binks being beaten to death with a cricket bat and Gwen Stefani hooked up to 20,000 volts of electricity. Or how guitarist Sam "The Bullet" Baroudi looks like a lobotomised Neanderthal pulling that same damn lower-lip drooping expression in every single photograph I take of him. Whilst clearly the rest of the band don't rate a mention (Nick Parker? Nick Hadley? the new guy!? who!? what? I don't know what you're talking about!?) as given enough time they'll soon be replaced with animatronic muppets from Jim Hensen's workshop. Why they're not all locked up in a rubber room medicated up to their eyelids is anyone's guess, but damn they still put on one meanarse liver bursting show!
With Angelik finally sedated by tranquiliser darts and dragged off kicking and screaming by attending psychiatric nurses; we are next treated to an inpromptu air drumming performance by this lunatic on stage before DJ Fatboy Slum effectively scares the rest of the crowd away..
Whereupon I while the rest of the night away, enjoying a few quiet drinks with Sean here..
Before quite predictably everything goes pissing down the gurgler in my usual fine form..
damn how did Blow Up Betty get into this blog again!? you publicity whores!! GNAARRGH!!
and you know when you've had entirely too much to drink at the Cranka when you begin to hallucinate shit like this.. what the fuck is this twit doing here wearing a fucking kilt!? (even more alarming, it appears I was lying on the FLOOR when this shot was taken.. whoaaa!)
Yup, as much as I would love to explain anything that happened beyond this point (or come to think of it, pretty much anything that happened BEFORE this point) tonight; lets face it, once you've seen a bride and groom from a Scottish wedding gatecrash your venue at 3AM for an extended pubcrawl, you've pretty much seen it all.. GOOOOD NIGHT AUSTRALIA!!
(and people wonder why I like to frequent this human zoo so often? weeeeeee! :) )
Previously on Spoz's Rant: Morals Of A Minor + Kytes Of Omar