:: Friday, December 30, 2005
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.. AND I FEEL FINE!
(note: this may be a ridiculously long post.. so get y'self a cup of coffee, you may just need it.. especially for that hangover.. eeee!)
yup, looks like we all survived another fucked up year aye?
and WOT a year it wuz..
and I bet'cha reaaal sick of reading all those other cheerful 2005 recaps too.. wot with all the tsunamis, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, viral pandemics, deaths, divorces, murders, freak pigeon explosions, corruptions of the democratic process, dead popes, nazi popes, impending climate disasters, rain of toads, death to all 1st born sons, rivers of blood, plagues of locusts, dogs and cats sleeping together.. HOLY CRAP RUN FER THE HILLS.. WEEEE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!
but of course, we all know that's a load of shite.. the world's not due to end till at least DECEMBER 5th, 2012 (if the AZTECs are anything to go by) so relax peeps.. we got plenty of time.. :)
and really? who wants doom and gloom for SPOZ's final blog post of 2005 anywaze? why not end the year with something even more useless.. a whole bunch of 2005 BEST LISTS.. yeah.. you love that shit more than a hole in the head dontcha!? hey.. wait.. where did everyone go?
so, without further ado.. here's some list of things that made my year just a little less murder/suicide spree inducing..
TOP 5 MOVIES OF THE YEAR
(in no particular order)
STAR WARS EPISODE 3 - REVENGE OF THE SITH
yeah.. ok, this is an obvious choice.. but really.. how could you go wrong with a STAR WARS prequel that actually DOESN'T suck.. the prequel where a whole load of people die.. where Anakin Skywalker goes insane and kills a whole lotta children and then gets burnt to a toasty crisp.. where the EMPEROR finally gets to go beserker with a lightsabre.. the prequel where JAR JAR BINKS finally DIES!! YEAAASS!! FUCK YEAAAH!! wait.. you mean he didn't die in this film!? AAAAWWW SHIT!!! ok.. seriously, why do I have this movie in this list? oh yeah.. that's right.. despite all the shit blue screen acting, the idiotic shit with Amidala dying simply because she lost the "will to live", that whole crap monster movie scene where Darth Vader screams "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" like a pissy little child.. yeah.. despite all that.. this film kicked some serious arse.. especially for the first 10-20 minutes.. pure cinema gold.. oooyeaah!
WAR OF THE WORLDS
despite TOM CRUISE not getting killed by martians (dammit!), despite the fact that annoying fucken teenage son survives till the end (even tho' he's last seen running INTO a losing battle where everyone else dies), despite that cop-out ending with the bacteria that although faithful to the original book is just plain STUPID (or at least stupidly executed.. coz hey, it IS kind've a cool idea.. for all the military technology in the world.. it's our germs and viruses that prove the most deadly).. yeah.. despite these flaws.. this was one of the most KICKARSE movies of the year.. this is the way ALL alien invasion movies should be done.. none of this "generals and presidents sitting in a war room barking orders" shit with multiple camera viewpoints following troops in the field (ie: Independence Day).. instead.. we get the all too visceral journey.. of one little family just trying to get the FUCK OUTTA THERE alive.. personal.. gritty.. and downright terrifying.. coz really, it's the personal fear that makes a film all that more real..
a bit messy in parts.. but this batman movie kicked arse for 2 simple reason (a) it wasn't directed by JOEL SCHUMACHER, (b) ninjas! - yup.. you can't go wrong with a batman movie filled with ninjas.. there can never be too many ninjas.. and really something should be done to put MORE ninjas in movies (well except for those damn MATRIX sequels).. oh, and the whole darker than dark gothic flavour beyond the fairytale gothic of TIM BURTON made this movie that much more creepy.. almost plausible in a lunatic asylum / serial killer kinda way..
any movie that features FRODO as a long clawed cannibal with freaky glowing eyes.. any movie that features the decapitated head of BENICIO DEL TORO.. any movie that features JESSICA ALBA as a stripper is a movie that gets my vote.. all them wacky black n white scenes of cartoon violence?.. all the crazy blood?.. the gore?.. the decapitations? FRODO as a freaking cannibal? OOOOHYEAH! bring on the insanity!
any movie that sends you to the cinema toilets afterwards furiously washing your hands like a madman chanting "THE WAY OF THE FUTURE.. THE WAY OF THE FUTURE.. ahahhaha THE WAY OF THE FUTURE!" till ya fingers bleed is gotta be a good movie.. and sure it really dragged on somewhere in the middle there (the whole court case thing wuz unnecessarily long).. but DAMN.. wot a crazy fucked up brilliant film.. it totally destroyed my brain trying to watch it.. it gave me a mental illness to experience it.. and for that, it truly rocks!
note: I made no mention of KING KONG.. since, obviously.. I haven't seen it yet..
TOP 5 FAVOURITE ALBUMS OF THE YEAR
(in no particular orders)
NINE INCH NAILS - WITH TEETH
Trent Reznor finally returns from wot'ever insane asylum he'd been locked in for all these years.. and proves.. that YES.. he CAN still write some seriously kickarse tunes.. and as long as you ignore the title song with the water spraying chorus of "AAAAWWWiiiiiiiTHA TEEEEEEEeeeeeeTTTTHAAAAAAaa!!" and all those silly lyrics about insects and collecting little bits of lint n shit.. then wot you'll find is an absolutely brilliant album.. it's more raw and "live band" vibed than their previous releases.. more minimal and gritty in it's direct aggressive simplicity.. but DAMN does it kick some arse.. Dave Grohl drums in one of the songs too! how can ya go wrong with that? yay! DAVE GROHL!
PENDULUM - HOLD YOUR COLOUR
proving that it's still actually possible to release an electronica album that DOESN'T SUCK in 2005.. these guys deliver the best DRUM N BASS I've heard in years.. stuff that never reduces itself to trying to please the anorak wearing trainspotters.. or trying to be cool for the clubs.. but instead the sorta once in a blue moon electronica album that breaks free from it's genre constraints and appeals on all levels.. yeah.. this album is the shit.. those uber cool growling basslines.. the funkin' beats.. the sublime sci-fi dramatic overtones.. the smooth vocal textures.. brilliant!
KAISER CHIEFS - EMPLOYMENT
I bought this album from a recommendation in RollingStone magazine.. I bought the album, I hated the album.. and I wondered why the FUCK I wasted my $20.. but, then listening to it again, and I liked it a bit.. played it again.. and I really started to like it.. and then.. dammit.. I FREAKING LOVED THIS SHIT!! yeah.. there's something about all idiotic yet ridiculously catchy sing along "NA NA NA NA" lyrics.. the comical english loutish behaviour.. the wacky keyboard riffs.. all those sonic references to party bands of the past.. MADNESS.. THE SPECIALS.. THE RAMONES.. this shit's like the ultimate PARTY album.. get a case of beer and get totally fucked up blaringly drunk to this shit and you'll love it.. oooohYEAH!
BLOC PARTY - SILENT ALARM
everyone had been going off about Franz Ferdinand and how brilliant they are.. but the real gold is here.. these guys are kinda like the DEFTONES to Franz Ferdinand's LIMP BIZKIT.. sooner or later you just know the FRANZ will annoy you to piss.. whilst, for years ahead.. these guys will mature their sound and really deliver the goods.. ethereal.. sublime.. hauntingly aggressive.. driven.. a swirling blend of dance rock and textured sonics.. an album that takes you on a journey.. yeah.. this stuff is pure class!
BECK - GUERO
this is like all the good bits from all the other BECK albums you've got, without all the annoying bits, and yet.. somehow even better.. all those crunchy ODELAY style dust brothers produced songs.. all those MUTATIONS / SEA CHANGE style melancholy and odd experimentalists.. all the MIDNITE VULTURES cheese.. delivered in a brilliantly flowing journey of extremes.. quite possible his first TRUE album beyond the gimicks and the bollocks.. funky.. yet personal.. cheesy.. yet serious.. dark.. yet fluffy and idiotic.. all angles.. twirling in some post 90's psychedelic haze.. brilliant!
TOP 5 LOCAL BANDS OF THE YEAR
(yes, I'm aware of how heavily biased this is.. but eh.. fuckit.. make yer own list if you disagree)
hahaha.. ok.. there are the reasons why I really like this band.. and there's the reasons I'll actually tell you about here.. (feel free to make yer own conclusions).. basically.. they're a kickarse little TRIP-HOP act.. they have some freakin' cool beats.. smooth eerie film noir textures.. that ninja bass and funk guitar combo.. a cute little female singer who's gotta be the most freakingly talented flailing funk muppet I've seen in ages.. (hahaha.. ok, now they're laughing.. HI KALIAH! turning a bright shade of red yet?) they write some damn cool songs.. they once played this wacky improv 30 minute MOLOKO style live house mix at the PINK PIG that totally blew the roof off (I seriously want that on CD).. and they really know how to party on after a gig (considering 50% of any reason I go to these gigs is for all the beer and running amok) yeah.. these crazy gnomes kept me sane this year.. cheers for the mad buzz ya midgets! yer gonna go far :)
credit partially goes to these dudes for the retro grunge wall-of-noise brain exploding rock riffage and feedback wailing sound they attack you with like a swarm of angry bees.. but most of the credit goes to these guys coz they really know how to party like trainwrecks after the gig.. (many many idiotic drunken nights ending up making a total fool of meself at SHOTS..) they're a no-nonsense band.. an unassuming band.. but they always deliver.. ROCK ON!
now the real question here.. the real dilemma.. do I prefer the band when it was the original flavour 3 piece with lunatic CRAIG "BETT" BETTISON on bass? or the new (and improved?) recipe with the dude from FIGHTERPILOT on bass?.. yeah.. I could answer that.. but I know the dudes are reading this.. (either way these guys deliver in spades).. they fill the gap for all those people craving pure 70's stoner bong rock / glam rock / psychedelica with the smoke machines, the crazy falsettos, the guitar solos, the drum solos.. the insanity.. the tongue-in-cheek idiot humour.. the pure ROCK PIG energy.. ooooohyeaaaah! its oh so cheesy.. but oooh sooo freakin' ROCK!
TONY FONT SHOW
yeah.. so, I've only seen a few gigs by these maniacs.. but they have a sound that's been sorely missing from the local scene in freakin' ages.. one damn solid, freakingly outta-control, mad stabbing bass riffing hard rocking FUNK ACT that freakin' demolishes the joint.. the sorta wacky band that makes ya wanna do a howling injury to y'self in the mosh pit in salute to 'em.. band members running around like exciteable children.. a freakin' CIRCUS of noise.. yeah.. you dudes are gonna fuckin' blow shit up.. rock on!
BIT BY BATS
yeah, sure.. they've pissed off to Melbourne now.. and can't really be called a local band anymore.. but still.. without a doubt one of the coolest "rip off the 80's" sounding bands around.. these guys do it in style.. they make THE CURE sound like something you wouldn't be embarassed to listen to in public.. they make the THERAMIN look cool.. the lead singer wears these idiotic pointy red shoes.. and THEY ROCK! yeah.. they're a little bit off in the head.. but they always bring the shit.. HELL YEAH!
TOP 5 DRUNKEN WEEKEND TRAINWRECKS
yup.. no dumb "best of" edition is complete without listing the top 5 drunken / insane weekends of this year.. if I could choose to live bits of 2005 again.. this would be my playlist..
FEBRUARY 4th - 5th 2005
an insane combination of the Adelaide BIG DAY OUT on the Friday, followed by ERNIE and EVA's wedding on the Saturday.. a one-two uppercut combo that damn near killed me by the end of it all.. yup, with all the live music on the Friday (The Beastie Boys being the definite highlight) followed by an open bar and much festivity (and some stupidity) on the Saturday (including doing those absinthe shots at the end of the night.. eeeee!).. this wuz definitely one of the crazier weekends of the year.. :)
JUNE 9th - 12th 2005
the ultimate stoner ecclectic journey thru artistic experimentalism and sublime freakiness.. Thursday Night - playing a lo-fi DJ set at the ENIGMA (with COPY ONE doing a guest appearance on the mic), Friday Night - catching a range of bizarre ambient / lo-fi electronica acts at the Tea House Gallery, followed by a killer MUNCHKIN set at Jade Monkey, Saturday Night - catching some idiot BRAD PITT / ANGELINA JOLIE FILM (yeah.. you know the one), followed by a lunatic live set by the KEMP BROTHERS at the Austral (aka: the Black Stripes, aka: the Castonets), and then.. finally.. Sunday Night - catching a truly bizarre Red Paintings gig at Jade Monkey.. where I cooked up a bizarre howling wolf painting as part of their live set.. yeah.. this weekend showed me just wot a kickin' art scene this wacky dump of a city has, if you just but look for it..
SEPTEMBER 14th - 17th
another extended rollercoaster of a weekend extending from Wednesday to Saturday.. featuring - Wednesday Night - a wacky MUNCHKIN gig at Supermild featuring some crazed loon conjuring up balloon animals (yeah.. that dude rocked!) a night where I got flailing drunk and only got home after 2AM (not bad for a wednesday), Thursday Night - another crazy little solo gig at Enigma that actually featured an audience.. yay!, Friday Night - the hilarious combination of seeing the arthouse documentary WHAT THE BLEEP WAS THAT ABOUT at the Palace Nova with ANDY (the lunatic stoner), followed by an even crazier DAIRY BROTHERS cd launch gig at Jive.. seeing that freakingly cute milk maid chick in the dancefloor with crazy prison fatigue cow's head dude wuz worth the price of admission alone, Saturday Night - a huge benefit gig at Adelaide Uni Bar featuring: THE BLACK DOVES, CIRCLE CLAN (once again featuring that lunatic COPY ONE on guest vocals) and all capped off with another wacky set by MUCHKIN (hmm.. I wonder if there's a theme here?).. getting insanely drunk afterwards at the Cranka in a crazed karaoke sing along was a definite idiot highlight.. only to end up the night at some crazyarse kung fu studio at 5AM, like wtf wuz THAT about!?.. yeah, I really dunno how I survived it all.. but damn wuz it a good one!
SEPTEMBER 23rd - 24th
yup.. only one week later and another freakin' killa weekend.. WOKKA n HEIDI's wedding on the Friday Night (where I had the honour of "tying the knot" for 'em) leading to a bunch of us hitting the town afterwards and getting ridiculously messy at the Exeter and the Cranka.. followed by Saturday Night - probably one of the most hilariously out've control nights of the year.. which began with a JIKA gig at the Cranka.. led to a bunch of us piling into KALIAH's brown death machine car to a continued piss-athon at CHELSEA's wackyarse party pad.. leading to a strange freakin' detour at 7AM to the residential abode of some freak we simply called "THE PROVIDER" (and nobody since then had a freakin' clue WHO this guy was, or why he was tagging along with us - but at least we drank his beer.. so who cares?).. leading to a trainwrecked drunken finale of talking utter rubbish over a bottle of red wine back at KALIAH's at NOON.. I finally get home some time on Sunday Afternoon still drunk and stupid from the night before.. aaah.. all those dimly forgotten idiot memories.. wot a freakin' choice weekend :)
DECEMBER 7th - 10th
another freakin' epic weekend.. and the last huuuuge one for the year.. beginning with CHELSEA's going away party on the Wednesday Night (after an idiotic band photo shoot that afternoon) followed by SUBWOOFER playing an insane gig at the Governor Hindmarsh to a spilling crowd from a Motley Crew / Motorhead gig from across the road, that led to a flailing drunken pisshead journey that finally returned me home to a coma at 7AM, followed by an insane TONY FONT SHOW / BLACK DOVES gig at the Cranka on the Friday night.. and capped off by an insane METAL FEST at Jive the Saturday Night.. followed by the LEVITATORS jamming it out at the Crown N Sceptre at the end of it all.. phew..
as for all the bad shit that happened this year? all the disasters? near misses? missed opportunities? fuckups? all the crap that keeps me awake at night? things I did, or should've done? yeah.. there was plenty of that.. in fact I've probably lived threw some of the worst shit of my life since the bumper crop that was 1993.. but I'm not gonna mention in detail all those deaths in the family.. all the seperations and divorces.. all those hundreds of tiny trivial things that seemed to pile up to the ceiling, wear me down to the core and conspire to take my soul away.. (hmmmm.. 1993 / 2005? maybe there's something in that? Chinese Zodiac perhaps? does the year of the ROOSTER just not agree with me?) nor am I gonna mention all the other silly personal shit that's best left for a few select people to know (and laugh at) and not for the entire internet to read..
sure, there was a LOT of bad shit this year.. but there was also plenty of moments that put a smile on me face.. and to all those involved who helped keep me in my usual idiot sense of high spirits.. to all those who were out with me on the weekends drinkin' it up and running amok.. or even those poor bastards who had to hear about it all aferwards at 4AM in a drunken stupor.. I thank you.. you peeps are special (and not in a retarded way).. yeah.. you know who you are.. (and if you don't.. likely I'll tell ya when I'm dribbling drunk sometime on NEW YEARS anywaze.. MUHAHAHAHHAHA!!)
*sniff* dammit.. I think I got something in me eye..
anywaze.. *burp*.. fukkit..
I dunno 'bout you guys..
but I'll be happy to put 2005 behind me..
BRING ON 2006!
and if it's anything like 1994.. then I know it's gonna be a GOOD ONE :)
:: Spoz 4:00 PM |