DAMN THOSE PESKY PENTACLES
there's a tanglible nuance of something fishy in the air.. something a little bit tweaked out.. all static and fuzzy carpet fibres and sparking doorknobs.. a sense of something teetering over the edge.. is it the howling abyss? large pointy rocks below? circling pirahnas, crocodiles, white pointers, jehovah's witnesses, telemarketers all gnashing their teeth? is this the end? am I fucked? should I be pre-emptively harvested for organs right now whilst I'm still fresh and relatively shrapnel free? or.. do I sense the distinct smell of something positive? realities split.. outcomes indeterminate.. a knife edge.. one side in shadow.. one side reflecting stabs of happy blindness into your eyes like that one dickhead in ya class at school who'd always deflect the sun with his watch to burn holes in your retina (damn I hated that bastard) hmmmm is this really the white light of something mindblowingly freakingly monumental? something worth a lifetime of bragging rights? something that'd set me up quite happily and finally get this ball rolling where I wanted it to go for years but never imagined possible? or is that nuance of fishy merely the oncoming frozen halibut from my audience come to slap me silly for thinking such random thoughts in a blog like this, when instead you'd much rather just be reading about me trainwreck liver destroying exploits and looking at all the shiny photos? seriously, wot the fuck AM I talking about? I know I'm on the edge of something here? perhaps it's braindamage playing hopskotch between genius and insanity..
yesiree bob.. something strange INDEED is happening at the Circle K..
and now as I stand and ponder on this curious knife-edge and ponder how I remain so grounded and why my feet arent totally cut up to shit.. here's wot I did this weekend..FRIDAY NIGHT
a night of stoner ecclecticism.. and a welcome return to the JADE MONKEY.. home to the world famous psychic bartender.. the bartender who somehow mysteriously always presents me with a COOPERS PALE ALE without me even asking.. like.. wow maaan.. how DOES he know everytime I go to the bar I'd always want a COOPERS PALE ALE?.. like.. that's freaaaky man.. he's gotta be a psychic.. (yeah.. ok.. I see ya brain's waking up to this joke.. "oh very FUNNY spoz.. idiot".. yeah.. moving on).. yup.. gotta love the JADE MONKEY.. it'd been too damn long.. and wot with the weather warming up n all.. you remember just how damn GOOD frosty psychic beer tastes in the summer.. OOOOOH YEAAAH.. frosty amber goodness.. little droplets beading on frosted glass.. how it evapourates in ya throat.. daaaaamn that there be some taaaasty liver damage..
so.. wot wuz the reason for my prodigal return to the MONKEY? 2 reasons.. MR WEDNESDAY and MIRRORLINE.. two of the Adelaide's best kept secrets found in the one venue on the one night for a freaky kickarse ninja doubleact.. oh.. and apparently some other band called BEFORE THE AFTERMATH as well.. (funny how I never actually remember to catch a set of their's tho'.. d'oh..).. with MR WEDNESDAY first up to the mics.. we were presented with a freaky psychedelic journey in ambient textures and blues jangling melancholy.. somewhat remiscent of the sounds of THE DOVES and MODEST MOUSE colliding in a comedown stoush after a heavy night of drinking.. (but y'know.. in a good way).. letting the brain float free with antigravity ease to all freaky floating mindfuck sounds textures.. tripping to the leftfield percussions and mute howling blues strangulations.. yeah.. gotta dig that wacky muted megaphone shit that lead singer wuz doing (damn I gotta steal that trick - it's like a distorted yelling whisper.. funky!).. these guys wuz some seriously damn cool shit.. and now their album's finished we might actually hope to see these colourful freaks out and about more often..
up next to the stage.. BEFORE THE AFTERMATH.. which mysteriously coincided with an urge to our group to disappear to the beergarden so as to listen to a shrill heaphone siphoned minidisc recording of the "GNOME'S" upcoming album jams (as provided by GEDDY and KALIAH, cheers for the preview!).. yeah.. damn cool shit.. really dig the new songs.. seriously.. I want the album NOW dammit.. gimme gimme gimme! oh.. and wait.. yer wondering how wuz BEFORE THE AFTERMATH..? eh.. riff rock I guess.. kinda cool if that's yer thing.. (shit.. I really should pay attention shouldn't I.. sorry guys. dunno why I always seem to duck out on the 2nd band.. I really should stop doing that.. (mental note: avoid being 2nd band on the night..)
to finish up the set we had MIRRORLINE.. who this time decided to forgo their usual sprinkled selection of 10 minute epic acoustic noodlings and just went for the full jugular strangling / howling psychosis of rock instead.. yeah.. you guys may be freakin' midgets.. but DAMN you blow shit the fuck up.. very much like a raw grungier pissed off feedback howling alternate of MUSE.. (except y'know.. nowhere near as potentially annoying as MUSE).. I went totally nuts moshing at the front of the crowd like the retarded rock pig and might've almost demolished the crowd of gushing emo chicks gathered swaying in front of singer TOM SPALL's mic stand like tragic little emo zombies (hahahaha you guys crack me up).. they even played me favourite song to get alcohol poisoning to - "MONKEY FUCKING TRIANGLE".. (the song I named once in a blind drunken stupour at a previous mirrorline gig.. yeah.. they're really gonna regret this name when it comes to writing it on the album sleeve aren't they?).. yeah.. you guys fuckin' rock.. if your band doesn't go places.. then I'm gonna hunt you down and pre-emptively harvest your organs so others could do it instead.. YEAH! GET IT OUT THERE MAAAAN!
after all that nonsense.. and finding no sign of the GNOMES (who had mysteriously fled the scene somewhat earlier).. I found meself at the CRANKA.. sinking a few beers and scribbling drunken SMS's (mostly to make fun of said GNOMES).. before grabbing and early 2AM bus to fuckoff home.. all in all tho'.. a damn good night out..SATURDAY NIGHT
I really should've remembered to switch me mobile phone off before I crashed on Friday night.. weird.. coz I ALWAYS switch it off.. and yet.. mysteriously enough at 9AM saturday, the damn thing rings and I find myself in a half drowsy drunken job interview / covert recruitment ambush bounced over a few satellites from GLASGOW.. (yeah.. funny story.. if she's reading this she'll be laughing right about now.. yooooo sneaky bastard).. I could explain wot the FUCK this phonecall wuz about.. but.. well.. for reasons of confidentiality (well.. no, I just like being a funny bastard about it) I can't reveal any details.. suffice to say.. the next few months on this blog could potentially become a very entertaining read.. oooo yes.. but.. *ahem*.. I've said enough already.. you didn't read this.. I wuzn't here.. and I'm denying everything.. (at least till I find out the punchline of the joke) aaaaand, we're moving on..
so, wot DID the spoz do tonight? well.. it's wuz a bit of a mixed bag.. first off.. a random game of FOOZ at JIVE (resulting with my championship title still intact - 10 goals to 8..).. and then onto the CRANKA to catch MACH PELICAN's wacky JAPANESE lost in translation homage to the RAMONES.. oooooooo yeaaah.. nobody does fuckoff PUNK carnage like a bunch of amphetamine crazed japanese midgets.. FUCK I almost died in that moshpit.. I wuz only in that for 10-15 minutes.. but it felt like an entire 2 hour rinse out.. HELL YEAH.. seriously.. if you get the chance.. check these crazy kids out.. MACH PELICAN you crazy fucks go ORF YO!
from here.. a few beers and some tequila later.. we all piled into a tiny car.. and took the ridiculously long drive south to HACKHAM WEST to WOKKA's 30th birthday party.. and wot a psychedelic freewheeling brain experience that wuz.. all those beers.. all those miniature psychedelic munchies (did they put something in this stuff? shrooms?).. me out've me freaking mind on wot'ever weird fumes were floating thru that place.. talking absolute rubbish to whoever crossed me path.. art and existential randomness and junk about multiple realities.. I could've sworn I would've seen ANDY WARHOL floating around here somewhere all spacing out.. it wuz like I entered some kinda DOORS movie 60's cliche.. even got a freakin' tarot reading somewhere along the line.. (and whoa.. wuzn't that a weird damn thing..? seriously.. wot IS it with me and all those pesky pentacles? am I the son of satan? hmmm.. don't answer that..) yeah.. there wuz something weird going on at this party.. some wacky vibes.. (wacky herbs?) but all in all.. some damn good laughs.. a damn cool party.. pity I left so early at 6AM.. oh well.. all the more insanity for next time.. (it has been a while since I've stood on WOKKA's roof to see the sun come up)
yeah.. I can't quite explain all the strange bubbling disturbances in the ether I'm experiencing of late.. this curious entertaining notion of confusion clouding my future with random shiny possibilities.. but.. there's definitely something in the air.. a smell of something out there.. something big? hmmmmm.. wait and see?
who KNOWS wot next weekend might bring?
oujii boards anyone?
fuckit, I'm off to watch ALMOST FAMOUS and laugh at how surreal this all seems right now.. woOOooOOHEHEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA :)
Previously on Spoz's Rant: Out Of Control