:: Friday, September 16, 2005
yeah, the whole 80's thing.. either your worshipping the damn thing coz there's really nothing else going on.. or you're downright sick to death of it.. and there's really no point complaining about it.. coz we've all heard about THAT too.. blah blah blah 80's fashion.. "oh crap not those freaking HYPERCOLOUR t-shirts again!".. and yada yada 80's music.. *yawn* "look kids it's another band ripping of the CURE / NEW ORDER / DURAN DURAN take your pick, hey, even better, lets remix INXS! coz obviously NOBODY's done THAT before!".. yack yack yack 80's hairstyles "woo.. look kiddies it's the 80's porn moustache!" yeah yeah.. been there.. done that.. "oh why can't we come up with something ORIGINAL!?"
but.. we're all just focusing on bitching about the obvious bits.. the fashion.. the music.. the movies.. the tv.. all those surface layers.. when the really COOL shit about the 80's lies not on the surface layers.. but them nutty clunked out 80's technology..
I mean.. shit.. having a mobile phone that's 5 years old.. just ain't cool.. BUT, having a cell phone from the 80's.. something the size of a refridgerator that requires you to crank and wind a handle about 500 times before you get enough charge to make a call.. FUCK.. now THAT's cool.. :) even crazier if you somehow retrofit that brick to do SMS or do MP3 ringtones and video messaging.. it looks primitive as fuck.. but.. it still does everything.. just coz it's stupid.. doesn't mean everyone else wont want one..
or for instance having an 80's band with a bunch of funny flock of seagulls haircuts and some pale scary freak on the keyboards with some drummachines.. that ain't cool.. BUT.. get a band, any band.. doesn't matter the sound.. and add one of those real cheesy 80's synth drum kits.. y'know the ones.. with the big spastic black octagonal pads that made those funny drummer noises that sounded like stoned lasers firing? just THINK if you added that to any band.. like PUNK ROCK with a spastic synth drumkit.. or robot funky HIPHOP.. that shit would be fucking INSANE!! and yet, no one's doing it..
bored of your old ipod..? bored over how TINY they're becoming..? dont they have a fuckoff microscopic ipod the size of a credit card now? *yawn*.. where's the fun in that? you're just another boring person on the bus with those white headphones.. now.. at this point.. you're probably thinking.. "hey.. I'll be retro 80's cool.. and I'll get me one of those old sony walkmans.. that actually take CASSETTE TAPES! yeah! I'd be soooo freaking leeet n shit.. I'll rule maan.. coz I'm so fucking OLDSKOOL!!".. no.. I got it one step further.. the boom box.. the ghetto blaster.. why not get a big silver spastic box thingy with those idiotically large speakers.. but, retrofit it to play MP3's like an insane harddrive jukebox thingy.. just like an ipod.. but.. it's FUCKING MASSIVE! and loud and ANNOYING as fuck.. HELL YEAH!!
as for 80's fashion... who says you should be limited to the 1980's.. why not try the 1880's.. or the 1780's? rock up to some uber trendy nightclub like that.. and FUCK maaan... you'd own everyone in the room.. you could fuck everyone.. you'd be massive!
and seriously.. wot strange force of commerce decides wot colour all our gizmos are gonna be? it's weird.. for a few years running.. it's 70's silver style.. then.. it switches and we've got 80's black plastic.. and then.. SURPRISE.. it's back to silver again.. but.. maybe.. just maybe.. we could try for a portable MP3 player.. with a wood finish.. and like HUUGE fuckoff knobs like an old wireless radio from the 1920's..
why not mod out yer computer with an ancient C64 / AMSTRAD / ATARI / original MAC / APPLE IIe / IBM shell..? maybe even go for a monochrome screen! fuckit.. speaking of monochrome.. why not go for BLACK N WHITE TV!! FUCK YEAAAH!
sure.. you might think I'm insane.. but.. just THINK about it!
:: Spoz 4:50 AM |