:: Wednesday, September 28, 2005
ELECTRONIC AND THE INFINITE SADNESS
yeah.. so I started work on this new song.. had a germ of the idea floating around the last 2 weeks or so.. slowly piecing this thing together.. and it's funny how quite often, as you work your instruments like a ouji board.. commune with wot'ever demented spirits are living in your head.. you plan for something.. and you think you're in control.. and you're gonna get what you want.. and yet, out comes this totally different song.. like an exorcism.. like an exact representation of your REAL emotional state.. so raw and twisted it is.. you seriously being to wonder just how seriously fucked up your headspace IS to inspire it..
to begin with, I was getting sick of working with cold machines so much.. manipulating with things from afar.. working a dead 60's sampled beat into a twisted dancing zombie.. attempting to mold cold synths to my bidding.. trying to find the warmth.. the organics.. looking for a sense of the ghost in the shell.. the DEUS EX MACHINA.. so.. for laughs.. with nothing left to lose.. at wits end with this whole "MUSIC THING".. I thought.. "ok.. lets make an entire song, from nothing but REAL sounds.. lets beat some pots and pans.. stick a microphone in front of it.. and use THAT BITCH.. YEAH!!".. yeah.. beginning this thing.. I thought I wuz totally losing the fucking plot.. and likely I probably am..
so.. here I am.. with no real rhyme or reason.. running around like a madman recorded stove lighter triggers.. light switches.. fridge magnets.. slamming doors.. smashing things with mallets.. tweaking cans, glasses and bottles.. to assemble some percussion.. and I get all these crazy sounds.. sort them into wot I'd consider "snares", "kickdrums", "hihats".. and various other fills.. I throw them thru some cursory EQ'ing to highlight the specifics.. and then load them as samples in my drum machine software.. I piece together these crazy clockwork animal beats.. that although eeringly electronic and precise.. also sound like they could fall apart at any moment.. a wondrous sense of high octane fragility..
I've got no idea where all this is going.. but I know I want it to be melodic.. so, I'm getting the sounds of rusty car doors squeaking.. and using 'em like saxaphone licks.. I'm layering all these crazy microphone feedback hummings into this sort've whistling tune.. I'm assembling something totally at random.. and yet guided by wot'ever ouji forces is channeling that sickness inside of me..
and here I am.. now.. listening to this loose arrangement.. and realising just HOW fucked up I must be feeling.. really.. it's kinda damn cool.. at least I'm getting it out now.. I gotta be happier after this.. I'm ALWAYS quite a cheerful dude.. maybe one of the funniest upbeat bastards you know.. but there's always THIS howling beast of doubt and overwhelming bitterness threatening to bring it all down from within.. us musicians are emotionally constipated creatures.. it's either we make music like this.. or we just unravel in a violent heap..
and yeah, I may have quite possibly created something unique here.. a metronomic, clockwork, shambolic journey thru electronically manifest blues.. a melancholy in found objects.. it's some seriously hauntingly bizarre bitter-sweet sadness.. it's quirky as fuck.. kind've damn funky.. and it sounds more resonant of an emotional state than anything I've yet coughed up..
perhaps to truly progress in any art.. you must work your way thru your own onion.. you begin with the primal and the screaming elementals.. you understand the fight or flight response.. hunger.. lust.. rage.. reactionary and simplistic responses to the world around you.. the reptilian brain..
now maybe.. I'm finally reaching into the mammalian brain.. of emotions.. of instinct.. of true sublime poetic intangibles.. not just the 'ol dumb cliches of LOVE and HATE.. but real textures.. the more you work your way up.. the more satisying this stuff becomes..
so yeah.. my song sounds like a trainwreck of melancholy.. and I couldn't be happier.. and just thought I'd write an utterly pointless blog post to tell you all that..
and for anyone who's still wondering.. "oi.. where's the freaking SUBWOOFER album".. well, I may've found a few breakthru's there too.. the seige is almost over.. I may soon break on thru to the other side here.. stay tuned :)
:: Spoz 4:09 AM |