:: Monday, July 18, 2005
SERIAL KILLER ON A BUS
aaaah ya gotta love public transport.. where else would you get to enjoy the many distorted flavours and bent nuances of the human condition..? live life in the buslane like I do and you get to experience all the cheerful rejects, outcasts, nutjobs, the elderly, the nosepicking youth, punks, geeks, freaks and the unpredictably red faced screaming mentally ill who for one reason or another are thankfully not driving cars all over the median strip only to cause you a head injury and a bad date with the "jaws of life"..
take my Saturday night bus trip into town for example.. I reckon I hit the jackpot with this one..
I found myself on an empty bus (no surprises considering how freezing testicle cold it was) working my way to the back, where I sat down, pulled out me portable MP3 player and cued up "Roots - Phrenology".. looking to kick back in my own sonic bubble universe for the 20 minutes or so it takes the bus to get into town.. but, before I could get comfortable.. someone else gets on the bus.. this big dopey grinning idiot in a puffy jacket and retarded looking beanie who decides to head straight towards ME.. coz apparently.. the cheerful bastard wuz looking to talk (fuck I hate that, why do they always gravitate towards ME!?).. yeah I dunno whether he wuz drunk, or otherwise insane.. coz hey, I was doing my best to avoid conversation for the first 5 minutes and then humouring the freak for the next 15.. but the overall impression I got, left me thinking "thank FUCK I didn't bump into this dude elsewhere.. otherwise I'd be missing 1/2 me internal organs lying cold in an alley dumpster somewhere"
consider the following..
1. barely a word in and he introduces himself by showing me his choice baggy of organically grown dope.. "no.. none of that hydro shit.. organic maaate.. anytime mate yer in Lockleys (mentions a block of flats and some address I didn't remember) I'll hook ya up with some choice gear".. actually, I didn't find this weird.. coz hey, it IS Adelaide.. this shit happens a LOT.. and funnily enough.. I'm the sorta dude who everyone seems to wanna confide their choice drug supply with.. (it's the hair.. isn't it?) but it did give me reason to think this guy might NOT be all there..
2. he tells me he's a butcher, loves nothing more than cutting up dead animals (especially with the electric bone saw thingy) owns a 2 foot blade (his favourite implement), which he sharpens samurai sword style with a whetstone.. and he LOVES carrying this blade around like it's his pet.. but didn't tonight, coz he feels like the cops would give him shit over it..
3. speaking of cops.. he told me a story once where walking thru the mall he had a compact loaded shotgun under his coat with the tip of the muzzle poking up above the collar.. he's stopped by cops, who ask him what it is.. "um.. it's an umbrella".. at which point they let him go on his way.. UMBRELLA? seriously.. HOW FUCKEN DUMB ARE YOU PEOPLE!??
4. as we pass thru Torrensville shopping centre.. he gets all excited.. starts laughing hysterically.. pointing to the carpark.. "hey.. ya see that white car??" (I didnt) "that's MY car.. HAHAHAHA.. it doesn't run tho'.. engine's fucked.. HAHAHAHAHA.. doesn't matter anywaze.. it's STOLEN.. HAHAHAHAHAHA"..
5. the constant lunatic laughter has me somewhat worried at this point..
6. he then lets slip he's an ex-con.. and continues laughing..
now.. hey, don't get me wrong.. I deal with all types when I'm out n about on the bus.. you find yourself in all sorts of weird conversations.. you could be discussing the merits of german snuff porn with some hardcore industrial speed-death-goth-metal freak and barely raise an eyebrow.. but a dude like this.. really had me wondering..
seriously.. if you come across an ex-con, drug dealing, car stealing, gun toting, knife wielding butcher who laughs constantly in that slightly unhinged lunatic way.. not to make WILD ASSUMPTIONS here.. but I reckon we got a potential serial killer on our hands.. if you see him.. grin.. wave.. then, make for a hasty exit..
:: Spoz 11:35 PM |