:: Wednesday, May 11, 2005
SIX DEGREES OF DAVE GROHL
methinks it's about time they put a new warning label on all new CD's coming out in the next few months or so.. and no, I don't mean any bullshit involving "downloading CD's is evil.. and it's stealing.. and it's depriving this artist of income.. and you're making us not like you very much.. BOO HOO HOO!".. (seriously, if you've BOUGHT the fucking CD.. shouldn't they congratulate you and not punish you? and not like how they put all these bullshit advertised warning on ya DVD's telling you.. "downloading movies is STEALING!! AUAUAUAUAHH!!!".. well derrr.. I bought the fucking thing.. wot more do you want?) yeah.. none of that shit.. and I don't give a fuck about censorship.. as anyone reading this will likely be well aware.. I don't care if it's swear words, drug use, adult themes, or even the innapropriate uses and abuses of double humped camels.. I couldn't care less..
no.. they have a need for a different label for CD's..
"warning: this CD may contain traces of Dave Grohl"
seriously, is it just me once again hyping up a non existent phonemenon coz obviously I have nothing more worthy to rant on this ere blog than self promotion and making shit up.. or, is Dave Grohl on EVERY FUCKING CD I've been buying lately? fuck maaan.. that crazy dude's been leaving a bad smell all over the joint hasn't he?
I buy the new GARBAGE CD.. and hey look! there's Dave Grohl's drumming.. I buy the new NINE INCH NAILS CD.. and there's Dave Grohl drumming.. I put on a Queens of the Stone Age album.. and wow.. there's Dave Grohl.. hey look here at this ere Tenacious D music video.. doesn't that devil guy look real familiar? wow.. it's Dave Grohl.. again? wow.. it's like he's stalking me.. Probot? Dave Grohl.. Killing Joke? Dave Grohl.. (of course I never bought any of those.. but I'm making a point ok?) and seriously.. why didn't somebody tell me that he's all over those freaking NIRVANA records too??.. wuh?.. what was that you said? oh.. ok.. I'm being an idiot.. yeah.. ok.. fine.. but seriously.. what CD has Dave Grohl NOT been on lately.. and look.. there's a new FOO FIGHTERS CD coming out too! and wait.. it's a DOUBLE CD.. with freaking DAVE GROHL!!.. AUAUAUUAUAUAH!! Dave Grohl is everywhere.. there's NO escape.. that cheesy grinning occassional drummer / lead singer type freak with the floppy black hair, occassional goatee, tattoos, idiot facial expressions and the horse teeth is invading all the music I listen to.. quick! I must warn the other bands.. before he gets to THEM too!! run fer ya liiiiiives.. it's DAVE GROHL and here's here to DRUM FOR YOOOOOOOO!!
yeah.. it's just as well I don't mind the dude.. otherwise I'd have a serious allergic reaction everytime I listen to the radio, pop on a CD or listen to my uber collection of MP3's.. (apparently all illegal.. despite the fact I bough the fucking CDs - yes making MP3's from your OWN CD's is illegal.. heh.. whodafunkit?)..
hence.. we must warn the public of this growing epidemic.. and yes.. just like the peanuts.. we need a warning label.. otherwise the more sensitive members of the population are gonna be twitching in convulsions all over the floor in their own regurgitant (just like I get everytime I hear another damn teenage chick who thinks she can sing - ie: Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan or Nikki "ooh look at me I'm in FHM" Webster).. all this carnage caused just because nobody warned them who the drummer was..
but seriously.. Dave Grohl.. I know you're reading this.. (fuck, everyone else seems to be).. can I suggest something.. like.. maybe just a crazy idea..? STOP DRUMMING ON SO MANY FUCKING ALBUMS.. we DO like your drumming.. but, we'd really appreciate it more often if we didn't hear it so damn often.. we need some space dude.. our hearing is all shot to hell from all your hammering snares wherever we turn.. it's got to STOP.. just chill the fuck out.. and go back to the FOO FIGHTERS for a while.. ok? put down those drumsticks.. walk away from the cymbal with your hands up.. and like.. give someone else a go? all those unemployed drummers dragging their knuckles and scratching their arse in the dole queue? that's YOUR fault.. go'on.. do something for ya fellow drumstick monkey.. and sit the bench for a change.. ok? let the others play.. it's only fair.. right?
yup.. Dave Grohl.. the Kevin Bacon of the alternative scene.. before ya know it.. he'll be drumming on YOUR album too..
:: Spoz 5:26 PM |