:: Friday, May 13, 2005
A COMEDY OF ERRORS
yeah, so I played some crankin' breakbeat nonsense at the Enigma Bar for over an hour last night (aka: The Niggas, or the place all those death metal, S&M leather psychos and goth loonies like to hang out..).. mixing up some crazy shit from 2 laptops in that stoner downstairs DJ booth type thing.. (cheers to all the peeps who turned up - I'll be there every OTHER thursday cooking up some electro nonsense.. eeeey!).. and yeah, it wuz a pretty damn cool set.. I wooped up some killer mixes of electro bleeps / squeaks / hammering doof doof and crunchy psychedelica.. I really built up some pumpin' energy flows, testing the PA speakers to the limits with some full throttle bass.. the peeps there really dug it.. and yet, despite all the mad vibes of doing this stuff (it really is a LOT of fun) sometimes you really wish you were just some stoner lo-fi acoustic guitar dude instead.. at least then all you gotta worry about is breaking a string.. or fluffing a line here n there..
seriously, you acoustic guys get it easy - consider all the technological dysfunctions I had to deal with on the night.. (and none of these out of the norm either.. this crazy shit happens all the time you play live electronica..)
1. the downstairs DJ booth at the Enigma had some seriously befuddling electrical wiring (conveniently sprawling in a dyslexic spaghetti mess in the darkest corner under the desk).. it took me a solid 10-15 minutes of checking thru tangled cables and crowded powerpoints to actually find ONE functioning outlet (and awfully dysfunctional at that, thankfully my laptops had battery backup).. and then of course you're faced with the endless joy of being your own mixer / sound engineer as you figure out how the hell that DJ mixer unit thingy is gonna to get your sound to the PA.. tweaking knobs this way and that.. flicking switches.. plug and unplug.. trying to make sense of it's seemingly misplaced logic.. it all feels kinda like hiring a chimp as your architect.. you never know what yer gonna get.. and yes, somehow when you get it to work.. aaaaa :)
2. my laptop PC's were propped on top of DJ decks I couldn't move, which were covered by these plastic see-thru cases which had all these lumpy bubble bits and fuckall space for just about anything (especially not the mice).. resulting in some seriously cramped playing conditions.. and yes, this DOES happen a lot.. makes me wonder why I always hafta deal with these fookin' DJ decks.. fuckin' vinyl pushers.. grrrr.. (note: a few of you may be smart, and say - "why don't you bring a keyboard stand?".. why dont I? coz I couldn't be arsed dragging the thing around on public transport, that's why.. fuck the excess baggage, I'm a suitcase nuke audio terrorist :)
3. during the set.. the main power to the mixer went DEAD SILENT at least 3-4 times.. watch as SPOZ panics when his set goes off-air.. enjoy the spectacle as he scrambles to reinstate the shoddly loose connection.. laugh at the crowd who applaud each time thinking this is the END of your set..
4. the newly purchased optical mice didn't like the uneven see thru plastic surface (or lack of good cheese).. so they decided to misbehave on me.. on one laptop (an accursed Hewlett Packard) you had to shove the damn thing around to get it to move the cursor.. usually always at a crucial mix-thru moment too.. on the other (more trustworthy Toshiba) the mouse would trigger all sort's of nonsense windows to pop up.. for example - near the end of mixing one song to the next, the Toshiba decided to open a big clumsy file search window (I blame the mouse scroll wheel.. or perhaps satan) thus locking me out've the music program at a crucial moment.. as luck would have it I was nearing the end of that song's mix.. (and bringing in the other laptop) so I could use the skipping sound of the program crashing as I pressed "Ctrl+Alt+Del" as an experimental effect to mix that malfunctioning laptop out, and the next one in.. it's like no-one actually noticed :)
5. why is it.. everytime I do a solo gig.. there's always a bunch of chatty idiots who hang out the front, and ask ya all these silly questions while yer in the middle of working the mix and never shut up..? "hey.. you know DJ blah blah? DJ yada yada? DJ wot'ever the fuck? heeey maaan.. oldskool style man.. I've been around fer 15 years.. hey.. do you know wot'is'face.. hey? wot's that do? and what does that do when ya did that?.. yeah that beat's cool maaaan.. hey, wot's that?" - yeah.. every fucken time.. and yeah, you get used to it.. but, they always seem to strike you, when any of the above foul ups strike.. d'oh!
and that's not including human error.. which hey, every musician does, it's all part of the fun.. so I'll skip that..
yup.. the shit you gotta deal with on the night to pump out some badass live electronica.. and it's funny, the crowd never notices.. but the musicians out there always relate "yup, I've been there dude..".. and the acoustic guitar peeps always larf.. coz they know, all they worry about is a broken string.. yup.. wouldn't have it any other way.. do it y'self live electronica.. made up on the spot and delivered fresh to ya ears..
as they say in theatre "break a leg".. or as I think before a gig "fuck it up good n proper".. coz, without all the crazy errors, the fuckups, the glitches, the breakdowns and the fluffs.. it just wouldn't be live.. a comedy of errors.. no 2 gigs are ever the same :)
so.. feel free to pop on by every other Thursday (I'll be playing regularly there.. fer larfs.. as a stoner residency thing) and witness this nuttiness first hand.. more fun than you can handle before the weekend.. and.. it's FREE :)
:: Spoz 3:02 PM |