:: Thursday, March 24, 2005
as some of you may be aware, I'm #1 SPOZ on the internet.. seriously, I kid you not.. do a google.. and there you'll see me.. reigning supreme over ALL you worthless scum.. (and if I'm not.. must make a note to kill who'ever IS #1.. "bunnypoo" my arse..) and as #1 SPOZ, I am thereby responsible (apparently) for the wellbeing of all other SPOZ's that dwell on this plane of existence.. I rule these SPOZ's with an iron fist.. crushing the unworthy, and disappearing all the worthy contenders (so they don't get any crazy ideas and try and take my place..)
having such a position of power.. does have it's perks..
but it also has one odd side effect..
every so often, yet ANOTHER SPOZ crawl's out've the woodwork.. and decides to contact me with yet another email or IM.. "wow.. YOU'RE SPOZ!!?? I thought I was the only SPOZ!.. there's another one!!?? golly gee!! whodafunkit!!"
yeah.. wake up and smell the unoriginality of our nickname (it was a shock the first time for me too).. y'see.. there's over 2000 of us idiots all over the internet.. a whole army of SPOZ.. and if only I wuz more diabolical.. I'd train them as my republican army.. seize control of a government somewhere.. smoke bigarse cigars.. grow me beard long.. and torture the peasants.. yeah, I still find it weird.. when, every few months.. without fail.. another SPOZ tracks me down..
so.. today.. another one contacts me.. leaving all sorts of crazed emails, forum messages, comment messages, adds me to their contact list on MSN.. blah blah blah.. like they're really excited or something.. "WOW.. a SPOZ!!"
yeah, hi.. how're ya doing..
and as a SPOZ, you may ask me.. since obviously I'm an authority on all things "SPOZ".. what does this all mean? can I explain the SPOZ? can I give you answers to the many questions you obviously have? do I run some kinda global SPOZ conspiracy? is there a secret society you could gain membership to?
no idea.. no idea.. no.. I wish.. fucked if I know..
all I DO know.. from my extensive lack of research in this field.. is that most spoz's seem to share these traits in common..
(a) they are all creative freaks.. graphic designers, illustrators, 3D animation freaks, musicians..
(b) a lot of them are insane (some actually clinically insane)
(c) every one of them tried getting firstname.lastname@example.org as their email.. and failed.. (a lot of them, sent angry emails to the prime spoz.. wondering why HE nicked it..)
(d) a lot've dudes called Esposito.. (go figure)
(e) sooner or later, a lot of them come to me looking for answers..
and yes, I do find this weird..
if one of you guys can explain all this, lemme know..
seriously, I'm about as confused about this as you are..
:: Spoz 11:37 PM |