:: Thursday, March 03, 2005
THE BLOG ON/OFF SWITCH
after many years in the lab, studying me own brain (ie: poking fingers up nose, puting crayons up there.. alcohol abuse.. hitting head against things, inhaling them wacky paint fumes) I've come to discover 2 main modes of operation of the brain of spoz.. likely a 3rd if I really wanna undermine this entire scientific inquiry and just blow bubbles out've me arse instead..
at any given time.. I'm either in (a) fluffy intellectual procrastinator mode.. (b) twitchy knife edge imploding eye-ball laserbeam creative overload mode.. and yup, maybe even a third operational mode (c) spastically drunk and looking for carnage.. (usually resulting in a very sparse wallet situation - ie: see last weekend..)
as you may've noticed recently, I've been operating under mode B for the last few weeks.. hence, total lack of BLOG entertainment for all you slack jawed gibbering primates.. yeah, sorry.. nothing I could do about that.. there's only so much brain energy I can distribute at any given time.. and for the last few weeks.. it wuz funneled straight into some A-grade twitchy twitchy SUBWOOFER DOOF DOOF CRUNCH CRUNCH SCREEEEEEEEE AUAAUAUUAUAUAH insanity.. yeah, so I've surfaced for a few moments.. to fuckit.. I dunno, show that yes.. I am still alive.. and I'm making a poor excuse of posting, by telling you WHY I haven't been posting.. (gosh, dont you love that.. really makes you wanna eat a bucket of paint ey?.. hmmm.. perhaps I'll try that now)
so... wuzzbeenup? wot the fuck has the spoz been doing? wot's the latest news? do any of you fuckwits even CARE?
1. well.. obviously, I've been working on a bunch of creative stuff.. can't really speak of it too much without boring you to fuck.. suffice to say, it involves the always delayed / never released (R) liam howlett 1998 - 2004).. and oft mentioned uber epic SUBWOOFER ALBUM.. yup.. it's coming, probably sometime before the end of the aztec callender kills us all in some post apocalyptic catastrophe.. and sometime after I pull me finger out've me arse and just release the damn thing already.. and just for larfs, I've been working on a few SUBWOOFER b-sides as well.. coz hey, even tho' I'm not signed (officially) to any record label.. and thus the concept of releasing an ALBUM, when yer freakin' nobody is funny enough.. I'm also thinkin' of releasing singles to promote this upcoming album.. thus, wacky B-SIDES!.. and idiot DJ remixes! and fuck.. I dunno.. if you buy me singles.. you get a lollipop! and some cocaine! and a real live gorilla! give him the cocaine.. then, run like fuck! auauauauhahahahaha!
2. I also managed to completely fuckup me digital camera (again).. I blame ESKIMO JOE.. since I was taking photo's of 'em at the ADELAIDE UNI O'BALL when the damn switch mechanism (between the various playback / video and photo modes) skitzed out.. so, now I can't even get the thing to switch to "photo" to take more photos.. and speaking of ESKIMO JOE.. since when did they decide to become the next POWDERFINGER? or the next SOMETHING FOR KATE? wot's with this "ooooo oooooo heartbreak" acoustic soaring crap? yeah.. ok, so every australian rock band's gotta release an ODYSSEY #5 at some stage in their career.. and even freaking JET had their own cheesy ballads.. (seriously ENOUGH with the ballads already.. do ya see AC/DC doing ballads? huh? PUNK!!??) but why dammit.. why? yeah.. those ESKIMO JOE fucks fucked up me camera.. really, I should send THEM the bill.. for reasons totally improbable.. coz, yeah.. they're freakin' mellow acoustic riffs.. like.. um.. made me camera freaking DO INJURY to itself!! it'd rather malfunction than take another photo.. HA!.. yeah, so I'm either looking at a $30 bill.. if I can get it fixed by a local camera gnome.. or $60 (most likely) if I gotta send it to the manufacturers.. in wherever the fuck south east asia / china / japan / outer mongolia.. thus leaving me stuck with my backup camera.. the most annoying camera device in the world.. the cell phone camera.. ACK!
3. thanks to ISHKUR's wacky guide to electronic music (check the link, it woks!).. I've been downloading a whole fuckload of kickarse / rare / freaky and highly illegal MP3's.. yeah.. that's right RIAA.. I'M DOWNLOADING MUSIC.. AND THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING YOU COULD DO TO STOP ME.. SO FUCK YOOOOOOOOO!! of course, I would go buy this shit.. but when the radio doesn't even play this funky crap.. and 99% of record stores wont even stock these.. how ELSE am I gonna hear 'em? by sticking crayons up me nose.. facing east.. and screaming in E sharp? (note: a few musicians will likely tell me.. there IS no E sharp.. or IS there? why isn't there an E sharp? or a B sharp? why the hell not? eh??) - yeah.. I've been digging up a whole bunch of cool crap.. even picking up some stoner oldskool funkin' classics.. like some of these kickarse classic tracks (recommended downloads)
GRANDMASTER FLASH - THE MESSAGE
YELLO - OH YEAH
MARRS - PUMP UP THE VOLUME
STEREO MC's - GET CONNECTED
SUGARHILL GANG - RAPPER'S DELIGHT
NEW ORDER - BLUE MONDAY
4. has anyone else noticed in Adelaide.. that newsagents all over the CBD, seem to have a noticeable lack.. of magazines? like bare shelves? scant offerings? is it possible that all them idiotic futurist publishers got way too ahead of themselves putting out March's issue in December.. and now they have nothing to print till June? seriously.. wot the fuck maaan.. where's me damn April issue of ROLLING STONE already?
5. I totally refuse to watch DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.. I block me ears and go "la la la.. not listening" to your endless barrage of cross media promotional guff.. endless articles.. endless adverts.. interviews.. blah blah fucking blah.. I mean shit.. if Terri Hatcher flopped her boobies out and played with 'em in an episode.. I'd be right there.. but seriously, it's like a lame suburban middle aged version of SEX IN THE CITY.. and I never watched that.. so just SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.. I dont care that there's "something mysterious about Wysteria Lane" or endless crap about "who's got a secret?" and "dead bodies buried in the swimming pool.. blah blah blah".. yeah, I don't even watch the show and I know too fucking much.. just because you're YET ANOTHER freaking tv show with a bunch of dead bodies innit.. doesn't make it cool..
which.. makes me wonder.. with all those CSI shows, all those LAW N ORDER shows.. does that mean "corpse acting" is a growth industry? hmmm.. perhaps I could fly over to HOLLYWOOD and start a lucritive career being even more wooden and lifeless than KEANU REEVES.. yeeeHA!
6. yeah.. I don't really have a number 6... I dont even know why I put it here.. I'm all out've ideas.. so, yeah.. you can like fuckoff now.. and go read shit on GROUPHUG or wot'ever..
:: Spoz 4:20 PM |