:: Monday, January 17, 2005
IDIOT WITH A MOBILE PHONE
that's right.. after many years of resisting such gibbering urges.. resisting the endless string of tv ads, magazine ads, countless references to ring tones this, SMS that, MMS this, late night moron ads for wallpapers, message bank, letting years of technological advance drift past me brain as the handsets shrunk and the feature list of idiot extras grew.. finally, I thought.. fuckit.. it's about time I got me one of these annoying chirping little things..
yup.. that's right, I, Spoz.. now finally own a mobile phone.. well and truly a sign that the apocalypse is nigh.. almost right up there with me actually getting a full-time job, a wife, a morgage, a dependancy on seasonal sports, a comfy chair.. and a socially accepted drug habit.. except of course, I'm likely to do NONE of those.. (not anytime soon anywaze..)
so.. wot pushed me screaming over the edge into the 21st century? did I feel out've the loop? did I feel inadequate? did I feel hopelessly lost without one? fuck no.. all it took.. wuz a friend of mine getting a shiny new handset.. which.. get this.. had it's OWN music making program..
yes.. I am THAT dumb for the shiny gizmo's..
within a week of seeing that, I'd walked out've the store with me own shiny Sony Ericsson Z1010.. and a damn does it really really rock.. it so shiny.. you should get one too.. (oh, and if SONY's reading this.. note the product placement.. GIMME SOME FREE STUFF YA SLUTS!!! - maybe a shiny digital camcorder.. I could do with one of those :)
I'm on the 3 network (again, product placement.. gimme some free credit is all I ask..) so, if you freaks are on it.. you can annoy me with video calls n shit.. yup.. that's right.. just like in Blade Runner.. just like sci-fi.. just like wot the japanese have probably had since Hiroshima.. yeah, totally useless.. and unneccessarily exposes you to my ugly mug glaring at you thru your screen.. but hey, there ya have it.. gosh ain't newfangled technology cool? :)
funny thing is.. it's my first dang mobile phone too.. I mean.. I've NEVER really used the damn things before.. never had the use for 'em.. and just like the chimps in the beginning of 2001 space oddessy banging shit with rocks, there I wuz.. opening the box.. banging components together hoping things would fit.. banging keys randomly.. and yet, a few days later.. and here I am.. making customised idiot ringtones, SMS prank calls.. etc, just like the rest of you morons.. it really IS a golden age of gizmo dysfunction we live in..
so hey, if you want me number.. hunt me down by the usual online methods.. and, if ya lucky.. I might just give the number to ya..
:: Spoz 1:57 AM |