:: Thursday, January 27, 2005
HELP, I GOT SPAM IN ME FRIDGE!!
is there anything more useless, more excessively retarded than an internet refridgerator? like shit.. who the fuck has even BOUGHT one of those? has anyone seen those tv ads.. and thought, "hey, that's one thing I've always had missing in my life - going to the fridge to get me a banana and surf porn at the same ideas for serving suggestions.. YEEEAAAS!!".. have you ever seen one of your friends, fuckit.. even one of your rich uncle's with one of them? nooooo.. they're freaking filling warehouses.. that's wot.. we've got computers for internet, we got laptops, we got PDA's.. even our fucking mobile's have internet.. why have internet IN A FUCKEN FRIDGE??
it's like that episode of the Simpsons, where Homer's brother invents that baby translator, and Homer looks at it, all disappointed.. "why didn't you just get something that already exists and put a clock in it?" is the internet the new totally useless "clock" feature?
wow.. my pencil has the internet!
look mummy, my toothbrush downloads MP3's!!
all these freaking inventors wasting years of their life.. putting internet into refridgerators.. when they should be spending time to catch up with what we THOUGHT we'd be seeing by the year 2000.. I mean, shit guys.. you're 5 years too late already.. where's our freaking domestic walking talking sex robots? flying cars? teleporters? lunatic pulse rifles? replicators? a real workable LIGHTSABRE fer fucksake? replicants that look like Angelina Jolie? wacky brain cybernetic implants? hoverboards!!?.. dammit.. we're living in the freaking future.. and we're still dicking around with putting the internet on a fucking FRIDGE???
look back 10 years, remember those dumbarse virtual reality machines? the big spastic helmets, the backpacks, the joysticks.. retarded loons standing in little boxing rings trying to kill each other virtually by moving their one outstretched joystick arm everywhere.. freaking LAWNMOWER MAN? - we've got all these cool computer games now.. but where's the damn VR? why haven't they put them into shit the size of sunglasses by now? yeah.. I betcha they have that shit in Tokyo and crap.. and you can blow the fuck out've a Digimon's gonad's to the sound of Shonen Knife or the Dirtbombs.. but, why DONT we still have VR?
yeah.. just like the freaking internet refridgerator..
just like the 8-track tape deck..
just like BETAMAX.. that ya dickhead friend always claimed was BETTER than VHS, years after the videostores stopped shelving them..
oh LOOK, it's a dinner party, everyone's looking swank.. and they're freaking STARING at the INTERNET REFRIDGERATOR!! YAAAAY.. GLORIOUS UTOPIA WE LIVE IN!! WE TRULY LIVE IN A 21ST CENTURY AGE OF WONDER!! OOO OOO BABY I SO MOIST COZ YOU BOUGHT ME AN INTERNET REFRIDGERATOR!! NOW MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!
:: Spoz 2:06 AM |