:: Thursday, July 01, 2004
SPOZ ROADTESTS - "RECHARGE"
occassionally SPOZ likes to try new things, occassionally SPOZ likes to be the guinea pig and risk certain death, occassionally SPOZ likes to refer to himself in the 3rd person coz he's shit crazy and full of sugar..
yup.. so they released this new dopey energy drink.. and silly me, I thought I'd try it out.. coz, hey.. if somebody's stupid enough to release meat flavoured skittles, tuna flavoured potato chips or something equally retarded, then I'M the idiot to try it..
so.. here before me is a product called "RECHARGE".. apparently created by the geniuses behind SPRITE, the "other lemonade you don't give a shit about".. so wot are my thoughts?
- first of all, it LOOKS like a cleaning product.. I'd half be expecting to be cracking open a can of industrial strength oven cleaner down me throat.. which hey, might be FUN.. but nothing I'd prefer to repeat without a lawyer or a tv camera crew present..
- it's slightly larger than ya average RED BULL / V at 300mL.. perhaps they're trying to show off, perhaps it's a bribe, perhaps they're trying to distract me from the shitty colour scheme on the can.. WHY BLUE AND GREEN? yeeesh.. wot'ever graphic designer designed this should be taken out into the street and beaten to death by rodeo clowns.. (then again, a LOT of energy drinks seem to employ "mentally challenged" designers to do their image.. how nice of them)
- it doesn't taste like sweat off a bull's testicle.. which already puts it somewhat above RED BULL (the most popular, yet most VILE tasting energy drink out there..), and it doesn't have that wacky METALLIC zing of V.. so, bonus points there..
- it doesn't really have a taste at ALL.. which is awfully annoying.. coz, when you down an energy drink, you want a flavour that matches the IMPACT.. you WANT a flavour that punches you in the face yet still leaves you happily euphoric.. but this drink reminds me of drinking american beer.. there's just NO FLAVOUR.. it's like delicate sugar water with bubbles.. yeeeesh..
- it doesn't have TAURINE in it.. so, at least it wont kill me dead with an avalanche of muscle spasms or stop me heart like an elephant gun..
- the buzz?.. um, shit.. I dunno.. I seem to be able to focus on street signs 1 kilometre away.. but other than that, there's nothing.. no crazy spider sense.. no bouncing off walls.. the BUZZ is about as subtle as the taste.. perhaps this shit's meant to be kid friendly?
so.. on a scale of energy drinks.. RED EYE being the highest, RED BULL being the lowest - I grade this somewhat flat in the mediocre middle..
DONT DRINK THIS AT HOME KIDDIES!!
:: Spoz 5:40 PM |