:: Friday, May 14, 2004
SPOZ - AGAIN!!!??
I know I shouldn't be suprised by this.. I mean, I've been living on the internet for 6 years, exploring it 2 years previous, right back to 1995.. and really, this shit SHOULDN'T suprise me anymore..
but.. everytime, it still weirds me out.. like, "WTF? AGAIN!!??"
deja vu aaaaall over again..
ok.. I should explain meself right? no point starting the story in the middle like tarentino and confuse the audience.. right?
so, here's the deal.. I got this nickname - "SPOZ".. (should be bleedingly obvious to ANYONE reading this site) and no, it's not my real name.. just a nickname.. no relation TO my real name.. no rhyme or reason - just a damn FUCKING COOL nickname I invented waaay back when I wuz 11.. and I thought I wuz SOOOOOO FUCKING ORIGINAL too.. I mean, fuck.. "SPOZ".. how could you get more ORIGINAL than that? that name's fucken GOLD.. I never heard it anywhere.. it wuz FUCKING UNIQUE n SHIT!! YEAAH!!!
and sure enough, it's been a damn catchy little bitch coz I can't seem to BURY it.. it's carried with me from primary school thru high school, university, everywhere... can't get away from it.. the minute peeps hear it.. that's ALL I'm ever called from that point onward.. "SPOZ"..
now, here I wuz thinking how fucking SHIT HOT my nickname wuz.. y'know.. being all UNIQUE n SHIT..
that's until I got onto the internet.. and the little dillusional fantasy bubble burst.. turns out the internet is CRAWLING with SPOZ's.. I mean, the little fuckers are EVERYWHERE.. every grandma and their DOG is called "SPOZ".. I mean, FUCK.. we should just take an island in the South Pacific and MAKE OUR OWN FUCKEN COUNTRY there's THAT MANY of US.. bunch of mouth breathin' pencil necked geeks they all are too... I mean, FUCK.. who ARE these idiots???
now.. I dunno if I just got here early.. but, somehow.. despite there being a freakin' swarm of us SPOZ's.. I've established myself as the BIG CHEESE, the CHIEF MOJO.. I'm THE SPOZ.. the GODFATHER.. fuck with ME at your PERIL..
don't believe me? do a GOOGLE on "SPOZ"
y'see..? that's MY SITE right there at #1, FUKKA's.. I OWN THIS BiiAAATCH!!! NOBODY CAN TOUCH ME.. HA!!!! (I also have 4 other of my site's in the top 10.. well.. ok.. quit bragging.. but DAMN DO I ROCK!!)
but y'see.. that's my problem right there.. being the #1 SPOZ, sooner or later all the OTHER SPOZ's.. they google themselves up.. and guess WHO they send a fuckin' email to? GUESS WHO THEY CALL?? GUESS WHO THEY TELL THEIR TRIVIAL LIFE STORY TOO!!?? like I'm a fuckin' celebrity.. sheeesh!
now you'd think I'd be used to this by now..
I mean.. it wuz weird the first time a SPOZ contacted me.. like looking in the freaking mirror.. holding a conversation with yourself.. hairs on ya palms.. 1st few signs you've lost your marbles.. the chickens have escaped... LOONY BIN heeeere we come..
but.. it gets weirder..
I'm SPOZ.. I write electronic music..
sure the name's not unique.. I know that now, but, combined with the "profession" you'd think THEN I'd be UNIQUE..?? riiiight?
sure enough.. every few months.. I get "DJ SPOZ's" from around the world crawling out've the wood heap to annoy me.. daaamn.. but if it isn't just a tad too WEIRD.. like twilight zone level of fucked up.. deja vu aaaall over again..
like today for instance - a DJ SPOZ from TORONTO CANADA chasing me down on MSN MESSENGER.. damn freaked me out I tell's ya.. and you think I'd be used to this.. coz, "DJ SPOZ??" it's happened TWICE before..
I even got one of my "SPOZ" songs REMIXED by a "SPOZ".. talk about multiple personality disorder..
so.. with all these SPOZ's.. all these SPOZ's who are ALSO musicians.. (avoiding all ideas involving the formation of an SPOZ ALL-STARS super group..) it makes me wonder.. is there something BIGGER going on here? some conspiracy? why ALL the SPOZ's?? WHY are we here?
is there some secret SPOZ society I should know about?
am I heir to some grand fortune in stolen NAZI gold?
do my SPOZ brethren keep in regular contact with aliens? the illuminati? the lost civilization of Atlantis? Elvis? do they really KNOW wot planet Michael Jackson came from? if you're name's SPOZ and you're reading this misguided rant.. GIMME SOME ANSWERS!!
I should be used to this by now.. but, this is startin' to freak me a bit.. WOT is the MEANING OF SPOZ!!?? WOT DA FUCK IS GOING ON!!?!?!?
:: Spoz 4:30 PM |