:: Tuesday, April 20, 2004
SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS of the SPOZ
1. the SPIDER RECIPE - y'know when you mix SOFTDRINK + ICECREAM?.. a classic homemade recipe, now commercially raped and released as these "new" dumbed down drinks.. FANTA being the first, and soon followed by a few others.. now, I tried one of these puppies just last night and sure, it's a funny concept.. but they got it ALL WRONG.. they made it a smooth milky mix all the way thru.. and well, anyone who's DONE a real spider.. knows it's all about the LUMPS of icecream.. if ya gonna STEAL a homemade recipe hack.. at LEAST do it right..
makes ya wonder wot next they'll try and release..
(a) the TWISTIES sandwich..
(b) SKITTLEBRAU (the fictional skittles + beer concoction invented by HOMER SIMPSON)
(c) the FLAMING HOMER (see above)
(d) the OVERDOSE MILO (where you make it so THICK.. it's mud..)
I also heard recently, they're trying to sell LICK-SIP-SUCK combo "snack pack" tequila's.. where they combine ALL the elements at once.. which, seriously just plain RUINS the whole procedure now doesn't it? I mean.. shit.. wot the fuck are they thinking??
once again.. not an original idea IN their heads these marketin' freaks..
2. the wacky way some MELBOURNE pubs go about labelling their men's and women's toilets.. maybe it's coz I just happened to go into the weirder pubs / clubs during my whirlwind drunken rampage.. but, here were some of the funnier ones..
(a) at the ARMITAGE (I think) they labelled the men's and women's - STANDERS and SITTERS respectively..
(b) this other pub.. it wuz "BANANAS" and "PEACHES"
(c) and the one that reaally took the cake.. wuz at THE PONY BAR.. where they simply, rather cryptically had a RED LIGHT over one toilet.. and a BLUE LIGHT over the other..
somehow none of these confused me like RHINO ROOM's toilets did the first time I visited them.. (thankfully they changed those girly paintings on the door.. coz, obviously it looked like I wasn't the only one..)
3. Channel 10's retarded decision to ditch the Sunday movie.. and just show episodes of LAW and ORDER.. I mean, FUCK.. don't they show ENOUGH of that crap already!!?? who the fuck wants MORE!!?? channel 10 - the home of endless repeats of SIMPSONS, EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND and LAW and FUCKING ORDER (aaarrrgghhh!!) wot fuckin' drugged-to-the-eye-ball idiots do they take us for on the free-to-air networks?
I mean.. there's fuck all alternatives is there.. every other channel is just showing wall to wall shitty REALITY TV.. I mean, AVERAGE JOE wuz a funny idea the first time around.. so why follow up so soon (like the next week) with AVERAGE JOE in HAWAII?? come on! DROWN US IN YER OWN FILTH WHY DONTCHA?? it's television scheduling by the shovel method..
4. and wot really shits me.. is channel 10 turfed THE SECRET LIFE OF US.. coz it wuz apparently gettin' crap ratings only to replace it by the freaking RESORT (that supremely shit reality tv show), which then gets turfed.. coz, suprise suprise.. NOBODY WATCHED IT!!.. and SECRET LIFE OF US got a logie too.. (well, yes.. ok.. that means shit.. but.. c'MON CHANNEL 10!! wot the FUCK are ya thinking!??) I mean.. sure it wuz becoming a brainless melrose clone.. but, C'MON.. it wuz locally made.. it had all the cool drug abuse.. and it wuz FICTIONAL TV.. and damn do I miss a good bit of FICTIONAL TV..
5. can't we just have an election already and get RID of JOHN HOWARD? please? I've really had enough of that freakin' arse licking hamster.. I WANT HIM GONE!!!!
hmmm.. don'tcha hate it when you've got all these thoughts swimming in ya head, and the minute you start writing about it.. it just vanishes.. d'oh!
:: Spoz 6:24 PM |