:: Thursday, September 04, 2003
occassionally you have one of those weird moments..
when you look out onto the world, with it's sprawling mass of people..
and these thoughts pop into ya head..
1. you're surrounded by people, chattering away, pushing past ya in a mad rush, zipping around in shiny metal contraptions, this seething mass of lifeforms.. all gibbering away.. and occassionally the thought dawns upon you.. suddenly you see it all from some outside David Attenborough vantage point.. and they're all animals.. conveniently of the same species.. but still, animals.. your surrounded by all these hairless apes.. and you find it odd, that not only do you understand a majority of these chattering apes.. these animals.. but, then the shock dawns upon you.. you're the same species.. you're a gibbering hairless monkey just like them and you can't escape it.. you're just as stupid, and as vulnerable to the same mistakes as the rest of them..
2. you look out into the blue sky, you spot the moon hanging bone white in the expanse of blue and fluffy clouds, and you suddenly see it for wot it really is.. you're sitting on some insignificant planet, in the vaste wasteland void of space.. you feel like an alien who's just popped out've their spaceship.. and like a sci-fi movie.. look out into a sky.. of one sun, and one moon.. this is probably wot astronauts feel although more vividly when they return from the moon, or floating in space outside their space-shuttle, looking back on the planet earth.. this ground you trust instinctually.. the air you breath.. it's simply a planet, floating in space.. a mere chunk of rock.. and you find it trippy that you belong to it.. like a fungus growing on a stone.. you belong to this crazy planet surrounded by chattering hairless apes.. and you think.. "shit, how the hell did I get here?"
3. you catch y'self in an existential moment.. in some thin slice of your life put under the microscope.. and you think to y'self.. shit, this is a finite lifetime.. a mere period of maybe 27 - 127 years.. you don't know how long it is.. but, all you can be certain of, ridding of all unproven belief systems in "eternal life", "multiple lifetimes" or an "afterlife" (y'know.. all that junk).. all you can be certain of.. is.. this is it.. you only have this fragment of self-aware existence.. this "life".. a mere moment of years.. in an otherwise endless expanse of death and non-existence.. you're a burp in the throat of nothingness.. a blip.. and then, you think.. how weird it is.. to be alive.. at this moment.. on this weird little planet.. surrounded by hairless apes.. and not somewhere else.. and you realise.. everything you just accept and take for granted.. is really quite alien.. and if it is.. where the HELL did your "mind" come from? a mere species construct? a neuron of the earth? a brief space-time concentration of thought out've the void? wot?
it's not just the meaning of life.. or any of that junk.. I realise, most of this is just random.. a happy accident.. a freak moment.. where you can actually look at all this.. and really think about it.. but, really.. if I'm in this position to ask all these questions on the odd occassion? does that imply meaning to my circumstance? does it imply intent? not just to my life.. coz surely, that's random.. but.. for the conditions, the environment that creates this self aware life? the universe.. existence of anything itself.. distinguished from the non-existence and void of nothingness that I'd rather believe IS the only true reality.. whilst everything else we see is a mere exception to this rule.. although.. in a situation as that.. void negates reality.. it simply is nothing with NO definition..
why anything? and not nothing?
in essence the question.. is the answer..
to even ASK.. why? gives reason to the "why?"..
hmmm.. something to turn my brain inside out on.. if I let it ;)
:: Spoz 4:40 PM |