:: Tuesday, September 09, 2003
here's a note to all would-be neighborhood car theives..
please, DO YOUR HOMEWORK..
don't just go about it half-arsed..
bust into a car.. and then leave it honking it's fucking car alarm for over and hour,
whilst poor slobs like me.. are trying to get some sleep..
seriously.. if ya gonna steal a car.. GET THE JOB DONE!
do a fucken course in electrical engineering or some shit..
I dunno.. learn from ya neighborhood chop shop..
get some fucken skills at basic hot-wiring.. and just take that SCREAMING HONKING piece of shit..
as FAR AWAY from my bedroom window as inhumanly possible..
and hey.. for good measure.. take the fucker for a high-speed joyride..
get on tv, entertain us with your skills..
we know you have 'em..
oh.. and in the likely event it wuz a cat sneezing on the car, or a butterfly farting nearby, or otherwise..
may I suggest to the owners of that SCREAMING piece of shit.. to tone down the "sensitivity" levels on ya car alarm?
can you do that?
just for me?
I would really appreciate it..
it's bad enough I hafta listen to renegade ice-cream vans ringing hunchback bells thru my neighborhood thru all seasons..
(like really.. how popular IS ICE cream in the dead of winter.. HUH??)
it's times like these.. I really wish I had one of those terrorist grade rocket propelled grenade launchers..
y'know.. those extra nifty little compact dealies dudes like to take down passenger airplanes with..
I want one of those puppies.. to vaporize ANY screaming car alarmed vehicle, or idiot dinging ice-cream van that crosses my path...
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
I WILL STRIKE FURIOUS VENGEANCE UPON THEE IF YOU FUCK WITH MY SLEEP!!
:: Spoz 5:26 PM |