:: Wednesday, June 25, 2003
feeling all kind's of skittish..
like a demented chihuahua locked in a room with a 1000 mousetraps and a 1000 pingpong balls poised to strike..
or, y'know.. something like that..
I drink a cup of coffee now.. and it somehow lasts all week..
you get this feeling sometimes..
when you bury y'self in a crazed highly organised / focused workaholism..
that, if you stop.. the headspins are so great, the panic you can smell on the horizon..
that you'd rather bury ya head back in the work..
no matter how ridiculous and counter productive it may seem..
but hey.. right here, at ground zero.. I'm changin' da future baaaaaaaaby!
(at least I fucken hope this madness leads to somewhere linear progressive.. and not in endless little circles..)
which lends me to believe.. this is how most offices / businesses operate..
not much ACTUAL productive shit going on.. just a lot of people pretending to look busy..
I like being a workaholic loon as long as..
(a) it's doing shit I love.. and buzz off of.. and for the most part, at the moment - YES IT IS..
(b) I'm actually progressing somewhere.. which, as much as I can determine.. I can't determine.. I could be going in circles for all I know..
(c) I'm not simply stuck fixing things continuously falling apart.. which, is somewhat an inkling of the chaos going on involving my website..
too many neurons bouncing off each other!!
I can hear their little heads clunkin'..
(hahahahha.. wot a mental image)
:: Spoz 4:55 PM |